CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
RUINED SWEATERS

Aaron got off the phone the next morning after talking to Kimmy for no longer than two minutes, just the same as when Lucas had called him.

It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to his two friends, he did, he just had bigger issues at hand at that very moment.

Lucas had called, much to Aaron's dismay - which was very unlikely. Lucas was Aaron's best friend, but it seemed as if that morning everything was going wrong for the blond.

At least Lucas had been brief himself, simply calling for Aaron on his walkie urging him to come over to his house and to leave in the next ten minutes, the two planning to look for Will themselves.

Lucas had also then told Aaron to call Kimmy and ask her along too, seeing as he didn't have her number.

Aaron had done so, telling the girl to meet him at the ice cream parlour in town in twenty minutes time, seeing as he would need time to actually get there.

He'd hung up the phone with a tired huff, rushing down to the kitchen in hopes to talk to his older brother before he left.

Sure enough, he found Steve sat on the couch in the living room watching the tv as he ate his bowl of cereal, much to Aaron's utter distaste, though the young boy pushed down the rising anger at the amount the older boy was spilling, knowing he'd have to clean it himself later anyway.

"Steve?" Aaron questioned softly from where he stood at the living room entrance, causing the older boy to turn his head to face him lazily. "Did you talk to mom this morning?"

Aaron knew the answer, yet he still wanted to hear the answer from him himself.

"Yeah," the boy shrugged, evidently bored as he turned back to face the television again.

Aaron had to bite his cheek to refrain from snapping back at him. Steve had spoken to the twos parents and he hadn't even thought to give Aaron the phone, or even tell him for that matter.

That was the first time their parents had called the two in weeks and they hadn't even asked to speak to him.

Aaron reasoned that the two were most likely still angry with Aaron for his detention and the fact they would have to bear a meeting with the principle the next Friday, but it didn't stop the boy from being hurt over the fact.

Actually, no. He wasn't hurt, he was angry.

Even if he hadn't gotten a detention, Aaron doubted his parents would have wanted to speak to him anyway. Usually when they called, it was to speak with Steve. Aaron just had to get lucky and get to the phone first when it rang.

It was fairly obvious that his mother and father favoured Steve, and it really did bother the younger boy. No matter what he did, it was never enough.

Sure, his parents had never actually hit him and Aaron was definitely grateful for that, but that didn't mean Aaron resented them any less.

They ignored him. Any chance they could get - all the time.

Even when the two were home, it was mostly Steve they fussed over. Steve and his basketball and his friends and his grades, anything they could think of.

Aaron didn't play sports competitively, he'd only play hockey on the lake near the back of his house when winter came and it froze over, still then he did that himself. So, he couldn't really complain that his parents took interest in Steve's basketball.

But what really got him was how hard Aaron tried to please his parents and it never seemed to be enough. Steve didn't have to try and he had the twos parents wrapped around his finger.

Aaron had straight A's, whereas Steve was lucky if he passed half his classes. It wasn't Steve he was angry at, it wasn't his fault how his parents reacted. But the double standards set for the two pissed him off much more than he would ever admit.

If Aaron didn't get A's there would be hell to pay, but Steve's grades were never mentioned, no matter how bad they may be. Aaron cleaned the entire house while the two were away - which was more often than not. Aaron was the one who made sure the two brothers made it to school each morning, Aaron did everything his parents should be doing while they were away and it was never enough.

"You could have told me." Aaron replied after the brief silence, trying hard to keep the emotion out of his voice. "I would have liked to speak to mom and dad-"

"I think they just wanted to talk to me." Steve cut him off by saying, he had spoken so calmly that Aaron doubted his older brother even noticed what was wrong with the sentence. "I mean no offence or anything, Aaron, but I think you need to let them calm down after what you did at school."

Aaron was furious by the time his brother had finished talking, whereas Steve hadn't looked to his younger brother once while he spoke, only watching the television in front of him.

"How is that fair?" Aaron questioned roughly, only then did Steve turn to look at him, the older boy rolling his eyes.

"Maybe you shouldn't have gotten a detention and gotten them called up to the school." Steve replied smoothly, continuing to eat his cereal. "It's not my problem."

"I've done it once and as soon as I got home I called them and tried to tell them I was sorry!" Aaron snapped, his voice louder now as he allowed his anger tainted feelings take control over him. "You get about six detentions a month and god knows how many meetings of yours they've been to! They're never angry at you for it, but I do it once and suddenly I'm a horrible person-"

"Aaron, you're being so dramatic." Steve huffed, picking up the remote and switching off his show as he all averted his attention to his brother. "They didn't want to talk to you one time, get over it."

"They never call!" Aaron shot back, now frustrated with both his brother and his parents. "They never call, Steve, and you know it. The one time they do they don't even want to speak to me over something you do all the time and get away with-"

"Don't turn it on me, Aaron!" Steve injected, suddenly sounding as angry as Aaron felt. "It's not my fault they wanted to talk to me, don't take it out on me because they're not here."

"I'm not taking it out on you, but you don't exactly help, do you?" Aaron spoke with a roll of his eyes. "I never said it was your fault I just said it wasn't fair, because it isn't. If it was the other way around you would be pissed."

Steve furrowed his brows, though it was evidently due to frustration and anger, not because of confusion. He went to defend himself but Aaron was talking again before he could.

"I have to do everything," Aaron scoffed tiredly. "I have to make you all your food, clean up after you- I practically look after you and I'm twelve years old. You need to get a grip of yourself, Steve, because I'm not doing it anymore-"

"Fine!" Steve snapped, standing abruptly as he slammed his bowl of cereal down on the coffee table in front of him, causing milk to splash everywhere. Causing Aaron to flinch. "I need to get a grip? You need to get a fucking grip! Seriously, Aaron there's something seriously wrong with you. The slightest of mess and you have a heart attack, you won't even let someone make you food. You're a control freak, that's the only reason you clean up and make food, if you're not in control and everything isn't perfect you have a meltdown!"

Aaron furrowed his brows as he listened to him, suddenly panicked that his friends also thought of him that way. He spoke up to retaliate but it came out weak and halfhearted. "I'm not-"

"You are." Steve retorted instantly, crossing his hands over his chest. "Who else do you know who has to do the same thing a million times before you can relax- normal people don't obsess over scrubbing their own place at the kitchen table four times before they can eat. Or, freaking out over other people touching your stuff because of germs, or-"

"I get it! Jesus!" Aaron snapped, causing the older boy to look to him smugly as he shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with me, I'm fine the way I am-"

"No offence, Aaron, but you're not." Steve cut him off by saying. "Who else do you know who acts like that? It's weird! It probably embarrasses your friends when you freak out over little things like that. I know it embarrasses me. Probably mom and dad too, maybe that's why they never call."

Aaron paused for a moment, trying to ignore how much his brothers words had bothered him. He didn't know how the conversation had taken such a turn, but that's usually how it went with the two. It was a low blow, and he knew his brother didn't really mean them and had only said them because he was mad, but that didn't stop him snapping back at his brother.

"Fuck off, then!" Aaron abruptly called, reaching down to grab his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder as he made his way for the door. "From now on you can make your own food, you can clean your own messes, and if it's so embarrassing for you, you don't have to talk to me outside this house. Actually, you don't have to talk to me at all, seeing how it bothers you so much!"

"Good!" He heard Steve call as he reached the front door.

"Fuck you!" Aaron called back childishly before slamming the door closed behind him.

...

Kimmy was stood outside the ice cream parlour nervously messing around with the fabric of her sweater sleeves under her jacket.

There was a big hole in the side of it and quite frankly, Kimmy was deeply saddened by the fact. It had been her favourite sweater, a dark green color with a pattern stitched into it with thick wool. However, now it was absolutely ruined. Thanks to her father.

That morning the two had gotten into an argument, and he'd grabbed her so tightly as his temper began to rise that when she took the smallest of steps back, the thick fabric tore.

She didn't bother changing it before leaving the house, she didn't want to have to pass him again. She'd deal with returning home when the time came.

To put it simply, the girl was embarrassed. And not just of the hole in her sweater. It was stupid, but for some odd reason, Kimmy felt prettier when she had worn that dark green sweater in the past. And that was saying a lot. She rarely felt the slightest bit pretty, she couldn't even say she felt as if she looked average, there was absolutley nothing in the world that could change her mind and flip her thought process into thinking she was anything other than the worst in every aspect.

She wasn't pretty, she wasn't smart, she wasn't interesting, she wasn't anything. That's what she thought, anyway.

It wasn't entirely surprising the girl felt that way. Her entire life she'd recieved more insults than complements, and that was quite a drastic statistic seeing as before she had bumped into Aaron now near a week ago in the rain, she'd rarley spoken to anyone out with her household. It wasn't any surprise she thought so low of herself.

Despite Aaron trying his hardest to befriend the girl, she couldn't push those negative thoughts from her head no matter how hard she tried. It was obvious he felt bad for her due to her very evident mental state in which he had caught her in the midst of during that rainy night. It didn't bother her that he was reaching out to befriend her, really it didn't.

However, the young girl couldn't help but feel as if she was selfish for her current thought process. She'd be lying if she said she'd changed her mind. That if the opportunity for an out showed itself she wouldn't take it.

She would, she knew she would. She'd take it in a heartbeat. No matter what it was.

No matter how much she appreciated the new friendships she was seemingly making, it only made her feel worse. At least before if she had succeeded in putting an end to her shortly lived life then she would have been the only one to blame.

She hadn't known him long, but she just knew that if she tried again and succeeded, the sandy blond haired Harrington would blame himself. The entire reason he had befriended her in the first place was because he felt bad.

Now, Kimmy was forcing herself through a life she didn't want to live. A life of living hell each day that she wished she could escape somehow. She had no idea how long she could carry it on for, what she did know was that she was holding on all for the feelings of someone else. All because she would hurt someone else's feelings. Despite the fact she knew death would treat her far better than life would.

A time where she could fully be at peace.

If she succeeded in leaving now, she'd only end up hurting others. She'd take her final breaths knowing she was untimatley hurting others, and she knew no matter how hard she may try to block it out she could never be at peace knowing so.

Kimmy couldn't win. Alive or dead she was destined for suffering.

Truthfully, she was too scared to die. No matter how much she wanted to go, she was scared. But on the other hand, she was also too scared to continue living in her house.

Although she had no other option. She tried to remind herself when the troublesome thoughts got too much that there were others who had it so much worse than her, that perhaps there had been something along the way that she had missed that meant maybe she deserved what her life was playing out to be.

If she ever made it to the age of an adult, she would want children of her own someday. She desperately wanted her own little family where they could move far away from tainted memories.

But she knew that this could never happen, not in the long run.

She would never get that life she so desperatly wanted. Whether they knew it or not, her parents had crushed and shattered those dreams of hers. The older she got, the more the fear of ever bringing children into the world scared her. She was absolutely terrified of the cycle repeating. That she would end up like either her mother or father.

And besides, no matter how much she may long for her own family one day to replace the memories of her own, it wasn't as if she could ever imagine someone willingly wanting that with her.

The thought anyone could ever like her in that light was frankly laughable to the young girl. Sure, she was only twelve, but she just knew she'd end up alone in the end.

Boys never liked her, they never looked at her that way, most didn't even glance her way. She couldn't blame them.

Kimmy had learned a long time ago that she shouldn't bother with those silly crushes which where part of childhood. Unlike the others, it wasn't as if hers would ever be taken seriously. She just wasn't good enough for anyone to even think of her that way.

In fact, as stupid as it may sound, the young girl hated nothing more than having to look herself dead in the eye through the mirror reflection. She absolutley despised catching a glimpse of herself. Kimmy knew she wasn't pretty, she didn't need reminders.

Although, Kimmy may have been able to take notice of her beauty if she had ever been lead to believe she had any. Of course, Kimmy wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world, but she certainly wasn't ugly unlike she had warped her mind to believe.

Kimmy was actually quite a pretty girl, she had dark brown hair, an almost black color. As well as navy blue eyes, the faintest of freckles painting across her pale skin, she had naturally rosy cheeks, as well as dark, long eyelashes and thick brows.

However, in Kimmy's eyes it was as if all she could see when her reflection looked back at her was the flaws.

The length, thickness and color of her hair hardly drawing her eye, the girl only able to focus on the frizziness or the dead ends spliting at the bottom. Or when she caught a glimpse at her eyes, she could only think of anyone else her mind could possibly muster with even a similar color and compare herself. The faint scars on her face or the smallest of pimples overbearing the freckles painting her cheeks or the rosiness of her cheekbones. Just the same as the shape of her brows or the way her eyelids seemed to hood over slightly in a way she had grown to dislike about herself. She could see nothing of the beauty of her natural features.

She couldn't help it. The horrible thoughts about herself came naturally. Which was puzzling, seeing as Kimmy thought any girl who wasn't her was automatically a thousand times prettier than her, despite the fact they may share many of the same features which Kimmy hated on herself.

On others, Kimmy found those things she hated about herself to be beautiful, yet when it came to herself, she picked and picked and picked until she tore herself apart along with all her self confidence. It was as if she didn't even notice.

Kimmy sighed, growing increasingly nervous as she pulled at her clothes and tried to look busy.

She'd been waiting for Aaron to meet her, the two off to meet Lucas at his house, the only issue being that Kimmy didn't know where he lived.

Kimmy hoped what had happened yesterday wouldn't cause a drift between the tightly knit group, seeing as she was almost sure that most things said and done by all boys had been in heat of the moment and that they most likely hadn't meant it.

She flinched, her stomach rumbling out of hunger, she hadn't had anything that morning yet. Hopefully Aaron would be up for some food or something before they left for Lucas'. She'd grabbed some money she'd found lying around the house that morning, she could only hope her father nor mother would notice.

Kimmy wasn't really a hundred percent sure what the three of them were supposably doing that day, but she hoped that perhaps the two boys could work it out with Mike.

She knew the pair didn't have an issue with Dustin, well, not that she was aware of. But when Kimmy had asked Aaron on the phone why the curly haired boy wouldn't be in attendance that day, he'd simply replied saying he already had plans with Mike.

Kimmy actually really liked Dustin. The small boy was always nice and warm towards her, and most definitely the funniest one in the group - in her opinion.

Kimmy sighed, pulling up the sleeves of her sweater and checking the old watch on her wrist, she bit her cheek at the sight, Aaron was already thirty minutes late.

The girl quickly grew nervous, negative thoughts instantly swarming her head as she began to silently panic. What if he didn't turn up, maybe he had forgotten about her and headed straight to Lucas' house himself.

She looked around, trying to clear the thoughts from her head as she looked for something to distract herself.

She failed to find that distraction.

Although it were as if she hadn't needed it because seconds later and her name was being called, causing her head to snap in the direction of the noise.

"Kimmy!" Aaron huffed, his bike coming to a screech in front of her which caused Kimmy to take a step back.

His cheeks were tinted pink from the cold air as well as the tip of his nose, he had his usual black woolly hat on, some of his sandy hair sticking out at his forehead.

"Sorry I'm late," he continued all in the same breath, only now his voice had a tinge of nerves to it as he hesitated and thought over his next choice of words carefully. "I would have left earlier, but... I just- I got stuck at home longer than I thought I would."

Kimmy took notice of the way he instantly grew tense as he spoke the last few words, obviously doing his best to not show the change in his demeanour. Kimmy couldn't help but notice, however, seeing as he clearly wouldn't want it mentioned, she pretended not to notice.

"It's okay,"  she hummed in response, sticking her hands in her pockets. "Um- do you want to get some food before we go? I'm starv-"

"I can't I'm sorry." Aaron cut her off by saying quickly, his voice evidently stressed. "We're already so late to get Lucas, he'll think we aren't coming anymore. But, maybe we can all get something on the way back?"

Kimmy smiled at him, pushing down the disappointment that had begun to seep through her at the thought of who knows how many hours before she managed to get a bite of food, but she supposed she could hold out for a few more hours. Aaron was right, they were already late.

"Okay, that's fine." She replied somewhat awkwardly, unsure of what to say.

"Okay, well we better go." He cleared his throat as he spoke, seemingly feeling just as awkward as Kimmy felt.

Kimmy quickly nodded, moving to zip her jacket up so the boy couldn't see nor question the large hole in her sweater.

"Oh, right," Aaron mumbled, suddenly nervous as he adjusted the black hat on his head. "I forgot you don't have a bike- it's fine, you can share mine. It's fine as long as we leave now."

Kimmy furrowed her brows and tried her best not to show the look of perplexity burning into her features as she did as Aaron told and sat on the back of his bike, it seemed as if he had lost his thought process and was talking to himself. Kimmy payed no mind, it seemed he rambled alot when he was nervous.

The boy took off with no warning, causing Kimmy to yelp and reach out to clutch onto him for dear life as the two sped off at what Kimmy considered an alarming speed.

...

Why do I actually like this chapter???

Idk anyway I'm back 😝😝😝

Have a good day/night hopefully you enjoyed this filler kind of chapter

- AJ :)