CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND ONE
FEARS

Later that night, Kimmy was sat with Aaron on the couch in the Harrington household living room. Both too scared to go to sleep and both too scared to admit it.

Kimmy didn't know how long the two had sat in silence as they pretended to watch the show blaring in front of them, but she knew it had been quite some time.

The brunette hadn't even turned to look at the blond in what she presumed had been at least two hours.

Still, she hadn't looked to him once. Despite the fact she could feel his gaze burning into her face every now and then or how she could hear the way he'd shift slightly when he turned to look at her. She hadn't returned the gesture.

The issue was that she didn't even know why herself.

Yes, she was quite shaken after what she'd witnessed that afternoon, but so was everyone else. Kimmy wasn't the only person who had been there, she wasn't even the person who had been victim to the attack. Yet, somehow she'd felt like she'd been struck deeply for some bizarre reason.

Kimmy had done nothing but mentally scold herself for the past two hours. Max had been the one who'd suffered, not Kimmy.

However Kimmy had a habit of overthinking things that shouldn't be overthought.

The brunette was absolutely horrified for Max and utterly terrified for her.

The car ride after the cemetery had been a quiet one, with the sound of the redheads sniffles being the only detectable noise.

Kimmy was sure she had been crying too, only she couldn't remember. She couldn't form a full sentence or thought. The only thing she had been focused on was her tight hold on the redheads hand.

At times, Kimmy felt like she could drown in empathy. Like she felt more for others than she did herself.

She was completely torn up for her friend, to the point she'd been on the verge of tears the entire night.

It was now evidently clear that she may not have a whole lot of time left with her friend, and that thought terrified her.

In fact, it made Kimmy feel guilty in a way. As if she'd rather she would suffer over her friend.

She didn't even know why she felt such a heavy feeling of guilt, there wasn't anything she could have done to have prevented what had happened to her friend. So why did she feel like shit?

The longer Kimmy thought about it, the more she realised that maybe it wasn't guilt she was feeling. Yes, she had an overbearing sense of nausea that usually followed her when she had managed to drown herself in guilt.

However, a realisation struck her, and once it did it only made her feel ten times worse. Kimmy soon realised it was a feeling of fear. A feeling so severe that she couldn't shake it, and that she failed to focus on anything else.

Kimmy often felt scared, but she hadn't had a feeling of fear wash over her so intense in months.

However it wasn't a feeling that often occurred, perhaps that was why she was struggling to recognise it.

She hadn't felt so scared and out of control since her incidents back home. Those were the only times she could ever recall such fear striking her.

Not even when she'd feared maybe she could fall victim to Vecna when she'd snuck into the school, or when the demodogs had attempted to attack the group nearly two years prior. There was absolutely nothing.

Well, come to think of it that wasn't completely true either. The thought of Aaron all bruised, bloody and disoriented the summer prior still made her body freeze.

She didn't ever like to think about that day, she didn't really like to think of any time she could remember him being hurt or upset if she was to be honest, but that night was different on so many levels.

He could have died, and he probably would have had Dustin and Erica hadn't gotten the timing right.

Kimmy didn't really include herself in with helping saving the trio that night, she never had. She was too busy stressing out over the state that the three could possibly have been in to the point she could hardly form a singular thought.

Kimmy took a breath, not wanting to get caught up in the memory of that night and further upsetting herself.

She could feel it washing over her already, she could tell just from how shaky her breathing had become at the brief thought.

So, for the first time since the two had actually sat down on the couch, the brunette turned to steal a glance at the boy sat next to her.

It was stupid, really. She knew he was fine, he was sat so close to her that her entire left side was pressed into him. Still, she was desperate to calm herself down before her emotions got the best of her and slipped out of her control.

With one hesitant movement, she turned her head to glance up at the boy who now was paying her no attention. The girl held back a sigh of relief at his calm, untouched face. Just as expected.

The blond looked incredibly tired. Like he could fall asleep at any moment. Kimmy knew why he was forcing himself to stay awake, the same reason she hadn't already passed out from exhaustion.

Kimmy went to force her head to face the television once more, however she found herself too tired to do so. Instead simply settling for studying the blond's face.

Kimmy's face remained expressionless as her eyes trailed over his features, the same features she'd spent the past few years looking at and admiring.

The brunette was sure that she'd seen everything there was to see on the blond's face. However just as she found herself beginning to zone out, her gaze halted.

Faintly resting on his jaw was a small scar, so small and faded that it didn't even alarm Kimmy that she hadn't noticed it before.

However she did wonder where it had come from.

It couldn't have been his incident with his hockey game, that was far too recent to leave such a faded scar.

Perhaps it was from the incident the summer prior when he'd gotten beat half to death? Or maybe it had been from one of the many times the boy had come in contact with some shit from the upside down?

It was probably nothing, something Kimmy had known about priorly and was unable to recall in her state of exhaustion.

Kimmy knew it was nothing to worry about or draw attention to, which was why it puzzled her so much when she felt her hand reach up on its own accord to graze the mark.

The girl was gentle, so much in fact that the tips of her fingers hardly made contact with the mark on his jaw. Aaron of course noticed nonetheless.

However unlike he usually would, the boy didn't react to the touch in a stressed or panicked manner, simply turning his head to look down at her with curious eyes.

The blond hesitated, as if waiting for an explanation before having to ask for one. The issue was that Kimmy was so tired that she couldn't find it within herself to find one.

"What?" Aaron asked quietly,his brows furrowed as he looked to the brunette.

"How'd you get that?" Kimmy asked in a soft voice, motioning to the small faded scar on his jaw with her head.

Aaron appeared puzzled, shifting to face the girl properly while averting his eyes away from the show blaring in the background.

"How did I get what?" The blond hummed curiously.

Kimmy didn't answer at first, allowing her sleep tainted mind to momentarily distract her.

Glancing to the boy, he looked almost comical. He had his pyjamas on of course, he wore his blue plaid bottoms and an old graphic t-shirt, and to be quite honest it made him look a little ridiculous.

It was the type of pyjamas some small wimpy looking kid about five years his junior could have been caught wearing. And while Aaron was known for his tendencies to overreact and at certain times act just like a wimp years his junior, he didn't exactly fit that profile.

Aaron had always been tall. He was the tallest out of all the party - besides Mike. The blond had always towered over Dustin and he certainly towered over Kimmy. And unlike when Kimmy had first met him all those years ago, he didn't particularly look weak either - he was on the hockey team for christ sake.

Perhaps Kimmy was slightly biased, but he certainly wasn't bad on the eyes either. Even when she'd first bumped into him she'd have been stupid to think any different, Kimmy always thought he had managed to look good no matter the time or age. However he'd seemed to grow into his looks even further over the past year, if that was deemed possible.

Aaron Harrington was a handsome boy, he was probably the best looking boy in his grade. Kimmy was sure anyone would have agreed with that statement.

It was nothing but the truth, that was why the girl constantly found herself in states of confusion. It puzzled her that Aaron could be so perfect and still have chosen her of all people to date.

Maybe Aaron saw something in her that she clearly didn't see in herself, she hoped that was the truth, because she would be left heartbroken if her fears ended up true and that was not the case.

Not only did Aaron look good, but he wasn't some arrogant asshole either. He was a nice boy, a sometimes frantic and stressed boy, but nice all the same. And he was funny. Whether it be intentional or not Kimmy was yet to find herself in a situation where he'd tried and failed to amuse her one way or another.

No, a boy with such qualities surely didn't match the usual individual who'd be caught in such clothing. If she hadn't been so tired, Kimmy would have stifled a laugh at his appearance.

However she didn't, the only thing the girl found herself able to do was to stare at him.

He looked incredibly disheveled, and like usual his hair was a mess. His brows were knitted together as he awaited her answer and his green eyes had yet to leave her blue ones. The boy wasn't even doing anything in particular, he was just watching her with a careful expression.

However Kimmy decided that was just enough, allowing her to get a good look at the boy.

Despite the dully lit room, she could see every mark, freckle and shadow on his face, as well as the different elements of green that rested in his tired eyes. The girl then made the prompt decision to admire him like that more often.

There wasn't a single fault she could find in the boy, everything about him seemed perfect to her. Even the parts he claimed to hate, with his germs or sometimes rather irrational fears, the girl could not for the life of her find any sort of aspect within or about the boy that she didn't like.

"That." Kimmy mumbled after a lingering moment of silence. "You have a scar on your jaw."

Aaron's hand reached up on instinct to try make sense of what the girl was talking about. "I do?"

"Yeah." The girl hummed.

"Must be old." The boy dismissed with a shrug.

Aaron clearly wasn't interested or bothered by it, so Kimmy dropped the subject. Turning away from him and facing the show playing once more with a shrug.

It didn't take long before there was a poke in her shoulder, turning to the boy once more with her own puzzled look.

Kimmy went to ask what it was he was doing but he beat her to it.

"You've got one too." He told her, in a quiet voice. "Right there, on your shoulder."

Kimmy turned her gaze down, only to find that her rather big shirt had fallen past her shoulder, resting on her upper arm without her knowledge.

The girl realised that he had been right, but it didn't exactly surprise her.

Kimmy always seemed to be covered in marks and bruises, and regarding her past, it failed to surprise her when she'd spot a new one.

It was about two times the size of Aaron's scar and despite not knowing an exact date when she'd have revived it, she had a good enough idea of the timeline.

"Must have happened some time at home." Kimmy distantly hummed.

She hated the way Aaron's lips tugged into a frown or the way a look of pity washed over him at her statement. However she knew she couldn't blame him. She would be the exact same if it were the other way around.

"I'm glad you don't live with them anymore." Aaron told her in a serious tone.

And despite the fact that his feelings on the matter were obvious, it almost felt as if it had to be said. Like it would put all Kimmy's worries that remained in the back of her mind about intruding or feeling like she was invading their space to rest.

Feeling uncomfortable in the situation she'd put herself in, she turned away from him and towards the television once more.

Kimmy was glad she was allowed to stay in the Harrington household, but she almost felt guilty admitting it aloud.

The girl had it ingrained in her head that if she expressed how much she liked something, it would be taken away. It was like that with everything.

And this situation was no exception. She didn't want to show just how much Aaron or his gestures meant to her because she was afraid it would put too much pressure on the boy and he'd end up resenting her for it.

It was stupid, she knew this. But over the years thinking stupidly seemed to be the only thing Kimmy was able to do.

More often than not, it was forcing negative thoughts about herself into her brain that she somehow trained herself to believe. Another issue that followed this was that Kimmy had developed a way of thinking that had her paranoid that everyone was always thinking the worst of her.

She knew Aaron never would. Well, deep down she did. But that didn't stop the paranoia from overwhelming her.

The brunette began to worry that she'd acted rudely the blond by ignoring his comment. So before she could beat herself up over it too much she sighed and turned back to him.

"Me too." She reluctantly sighed.

Kimmy didn't like talking about her family or what would go on in her home, not even to Aaron.  Although he knew about it and they'd briefly talked after her incident numerous months ago, she didn't like bringing it up.

However she could tell just by the change in the blond's demeanour that they were about to have an awkward conversation that she wanted no part in. Despite knowing it had to be had.

The girl hated nothing more than being vulnerable in front of people, and even after sometimes screaming for help, it didn't mean she necessarily wanted it. She didn't like the feeling of needing to be fixed.

"Have you seen anything?" Aaron asked cautiously. "You know, like Max did?"

"No." Kimmy answered honestly. "I'm not even sure that I will, to be honest. I don't think it's the same."

Aaron stiffened, and from that alone she could tell that he didn't believe her.

It took the blond a second to reply, but when he finally did he spoke in a shaky voice. Like he was forcing himself to have the difficult conversation with her.

"I don't think it's something to rule out." He said slowly before suddenly changing his mind and rushing the next words out. "Headaches, night terrors, trauma? That's all you, Kimmy."

Kimmy didn't know what to say, simply furrowing her brows at him as she tried to think of a response, however her sleepiness was taking a toll on her.

"I know you don't want to hear it, especially after what happened with Max today. But you need to try- you can't let it get you by surprise - if it does happen." Aaron rushed to say in a flustered tone. "And I know you don't want to talk about it, but you have to tell me if you do see something, okay?"

"Why?" Kimmy stupidly asked, her voice quiet as sleep threatened to take over her despite her wishes.

"Because I care." Aaron replied in a blunt tone, sounding confused on how she could have asked such a question. "'Course I would want you to tell me."

Kimmy shrugged her shoulders and bit the inside of her cheek, at a momentarily loss of what to say.

"Well I haven't seen anything." She said much more confidently than she should have been. "And I won't."

Aaron looked to her with an unsure expression.

"I won't." She repeated.

Aaron said nothing, looking to her with an unreadable expression before turning his attention off of her and to the show he had once been watching.

Kimmy frowned to herself, looking up at him with an almost saddened expression. The girl let out a breath, speaking up in a fragile voice.

"I know you care." She rushed to tell him. "But I'm fine."

Kimmy watched him for a moment longer to see if he would reply. When he didn't, she sighed and looked away from him, allowing unnecessarily sad emotions to get the better of her.

It took less than half a minute for the boy to drop his arm over her shoulder and tug her towards him.

"Sorry." He mumbled, but she could tell his heart wasn't in it. He hadn't done anything wrong.

"Stop saying sorry for things you shouldn't be sorry for." Kimmy told him in a quiet voice.

The two teenagers didn't say anything else after that. And soon enough, the pair managed to drift off to sleep on the couch together. Unprepared for the week about to unravel in front of them.

...

I'm so sorry this has taken so long to post I've been unbelievably busy this past while, BUT I'm completely free next week so expect some more chapters!!

This book isn't discontinued it's just taking me a while to update because of how much I have on currently!!

Anyway I hope everyone has had a nice few weeks and is still interested in this story despite the big gaps in the past few updates lmao.

This hasn't been proofread btw so sorry if this isn't the best or if there are mistakes!!

Thank you so much for the support on this story and I hope everyone has a great day!!
- AJ :)