Start the song. It's Revolution Blues by Neil Young.

The kitchen was relatively quiet for once, given that the only people home were Josh, his grandmother, Abigail, and Alivia. It had taken Ash's daughter a while to get comfortable enough to tell them her name, but having Abigail around helped. The two little girls (Abigail being not so little anymore) were the best of friends. Abigail was eleven now, and Liv was nearly four, but they related to each other on a lot of things that other kids wouldn't understand.

At the moment, they were helping their grandmother make cookies, which Josh had never actually done before. Until moving in with his grandparents, Josh hadn't been allowed to cook. That was women's work. His mother and sisters handled things like that. Ashley would've had to had she not been locked in his room all of the time.

"Josh, hand me that whisk please, sweetheart," his grandmother said as she cracked an egg into the bowl.

Liv watched the insides fall on top of the other ingredients with wide eyes. "Whoa," she whispered.

She always whispered. Josh had never heard her speak at full volume before.

Josh's eyes scanned the various baking supplies in front of him, panicking slightly. He had no idea what a whisk was. Thankfully, Abigail handed him a wiry thing with a black handle. He passed it along to his grandmother, sending his little sister a grateful smile. She smiled back cheerfully.

Of all the Duns, leaving the community had had the most positive effect on Abigail. She still did strange things from time to time, but she was happier. It seemed like she was constantly doing something to help someone else. Out of everyone in his family, she was the only one who never judged Josh for doing things differently. She understood somehow.

"Oh, darn it. My cooking oil is in the basement. I'll be right back. Don't let Miss Alivia eat all of my chocolate chips while I'm gone," their grandmother said with a smile, ruffling Alivia's hair as she passed her. Josh watched her go silently before looking to his little sister.

"Want to know a secret?" He asked quietly.

Her eyes lit up instantly. Despite all of the changes she's made since they left, she still loved secrets more than anything. She nodded as she plopped down in the chair next to Josh's. "Obviously."

He sat forward slightly before whispering to her, "I know where Batibat is."

Abigail's eyes widened in excitement. "You do?"

He nodded. "Tyler has her," he whispered back. "He gave her to someone special."

That response surprised her. "He gave my doll away? Wait, what? Tyler? Your husband, Tyler?"

Josh reached into his pocket, glancing toward the basement door before pulling the picture Tyler had left on the grave out of his pocket. He handed it to her.

"He gave her to Ashley's baby. He's been leaving me notes on our grave. I don't think he knows we're alive. I left him one back."

Abigail's eyebrows furrowed together as she studied the picture, turning it around to read what was on the back before looking at the baby again. "He looks just like you, Bubba."

A tiny twinge of pride shot through Josh's chest, but he shoved it down. This was Ashley's baby. He couldn't just assume it was his based on genetics after the way the child had been conceived. No, this was Ashley's child and Ashley's alone until she told him differently.

"Uncle Josh, I wanna see," Liv whispered, climbing up into his lap.

Abigail handed the picture back so Josh could show Liv. She reached for it, but her hands were sticky with frosting, so he held it out of her reach. "Just look, okay? Don't touch."

"Okay," she whispered. She giggled when she looked at the baby.

"He's cute, huh?" Josh asked, smiling slightly.

Alivia nodded, smiling shyly. "Mhm. The cutest."

"What's his name?" Abigail asked as she handed Liv a chocolate chip.

Josh looked at the picture again, feeling a little bit small. "I have no idea. All I know is that he looks like me and has Batibat."

"And you still haven't talked to Tyler?" Abigail asked, pouring some sprinkles out into her hand and tracing her fingers through them.

Sighing, Josh shook his head. "No. I don't know if I wi-"

They all fell silent when their grandmother came back upstairs. She raised an eyebrow as she walked past them. "Uh oh. What's going on?"

Given the circumstances of their arrival, the Dun kids weren't allowed to keep secrets from their grandparents. They'd had to tell them everything. It was a painful process and Josh hated every minute of it, but he understood that it was because they had to be certain that it was safe to have them here. Even now, his grandmother sent him worried looks when he was around Hayley or his sisters, and Josh knew it was because of what he'd had to do to Ashley.

"I'm trying to convince Josh to finally talk to his husband," Abigail replied easily. "It's not working."

Josh discreetly slid the picture of his son back into his pocket. "He's safer if I don't talk to him. We've talked about it."

"And how is that?" His grandmother asked as she measured out the amount of cooking oil she needed.

"If we got out of the community, someone else could've too. Tyler and Ashley could be killed for having left and so could we. Besides, the amount of shit they went through because of-"

"Jar," his grandmother said calmly.

Josh rolled his eyes as he pulled a dollar out of his pocket and handed it to Liv before setting her down. She walked over to the jar sitting on the counter and stood on her tiptoes to get it down, slipping his dollar into it. The word "swears" was on the side. It was stupid, and Josh didn't understand why certain words weren't allowed, but complaining wouldn't help.

"It would mess with their heads if I talked to them again," he concluded.

"They love you," Abigail pointed out. "Especially Tyler. You told me you had to pretty much force him to leave the community. He misses you, and you know it."

Liv climbed back into his lap, silently stealing another chocolate chip. She looked nervously at Josh to see if he would keep her secret, smiling when he winked at her. She popped the sweet into her mouth and ate it quietly.

"Dallon says it's Stockholm Syndrome," Josh reminded her.

"Dallon also said Tyler hid in his classroom during lunch and cried for the entire month of October," Abigail challenged. "Plus he still wears your hoodie. Dallon said so."

Their grandmother sighed. "Joshua-"

"Josh," Josh and Abigail corrected at the same time.

There were too many negative ties to the word Joshua now. That was what his father and the elders had called him, and no one else was allowed to after what his father had done.

She nodded. "Josh, are you sure you aren't pushing them away because of your own trauma and not theirs?"

The kitchen went silent. Even Liv stopped chewing to stare at the old woman with wide eyes. Josh lifted the toddler out of his lap as a sick feeling pooled in his stomach. Every time his grandparents talked about their childhood, they called it traumatic and sad and masochistic. The counsellors the kids were forced to see said similar things, but the words still made Josh angry. Everyone in this house knew that.

It was easy to pinpoint the exact moment their grandmother realised that she'd made a mistake. She turned around with wide eyes. "Oh, Lord. Joshua, I didn't mean-"

"Josh," he corrected again quietly. "And no. I'm not just being a selfish asshole and ignoring them for the hell of it. I'm trying to protect them from the shit they went through because of me. I'm the reason Ashley got hurt and that Tyler got the shit beaten out of him by Mathias. I'm protecting them from that happening again because the only part of these marriages that makes any sense to me is that it's my job now to take care of them. That's what I'm trying to do."

He set Liv down in the chair next to his, feeling guilty when he saw the tears pooling in her eyes. He stuffed five dollars into the swear jar as he passed it.

"You only said four," Abigail whispered.

"Right." Josh looked at his grandma, who was practically frozen in place. "Fuck you for thinking you can understand this when you've never had to worry about being the reason someone you love is in danger."

He was almost to the front door when Abigail shouted, "You say you don't want to be like like Dad, but you're acting just like him!" He froze. Her voice was quieter and tear-filled when she spoke again. "He thought hurting people to protect them was okay too, and now you're hurting Tyler and Ashley and that baby because you're scared. You're allowed to be scared, Josh, but just admit that that's what's happening and grow up."

"I've always been a grown up," he replied quietly. "That's the problem."

Josh shut the door loudly behind himself and walked down the sidewalk. He didn't stop by Hayley's house this time. He didn't even know if she was home from school yet. All he knew was that he couldn't do this much longer. Having his mom yell at him was one thing, but having Abigail do it was another. The things she'd said cut him to his core, making him wish he really was buried under that grave in the cemetery.

Finally, it was too much. He sat down on the sidewalk, trying to keep his head from spinning. His father's voice was echoing through his thoughts, and he could taste blood in the back of his throat. He wouldn't become like his father. He'd rather die than let that happen.

Someone sat down beside him, but he didn't look up at them. This was all too heavy for him to carry right now, and having to talk to people wasn't going to help. Instead, he kept his eyes on his shoes. A hand took his, and he knew it was her. Hayley rested her head on his shoulder.

"Everything okay?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah," he replied distantly.

"Want to talk about it?" She asked, kissing the back of his hand softly.

He glanced at her, finding that she was already looking at him worriedly. As difficult as it was to say it, he whispered, "Maybe."

"Let's get you inside, okay? I'll make you some coffee. I've got good news for you too," Hayley told him as she stood, helping him do the same.

His body felt heavy as he followed her down the street to her house. She led him wordlessly through the living room and into the kitchen, pointing to the table as she went to the coffee maker. He sat down without question, feeling his jaw seem to cement itself shut. Talking about this wasn't going to happen. He wasn't ready yet.

After getting the coffee started, Hayley came and sat down across from him. "Want some good news first?"

He nodded, hoping he'd be able to figure out a way to tell he that he trusted her, but couldn't talk about this yet. She pulled a slip of paper out of her backpack, sliding it to him. His heart leapt at the sight of it. Tyler.

"He doesn't believe you wrote the note. He wants to, but I think he's too scared," she told him as he unfolded it.

"How do you know that?" He asked her as his eyes scanned the words his husband had left for him.

Pink carnations are supposed to mean something about loving someone forever and not forgetting them. I think that's fitting. I brought him with me to visit you today. He smiled when I told him that that's where we were going. His smile is a lot like yours. I miss your smile. I miss you. I love you forever. -Tyler

"He told me," Hayley replied.

"Told you what?" Josh asked distractedly as he reread the note.

"That he doesn't believe you wrote it. He thought I did. He was mad," she clarified.

Realisation hit Josh like a train. He looked up with wide eyes. "You saw him?"

She smiled and nodded. "He's really cute. The baby is too. Oh! That's the good news. Your baby's name is Joshua. They call him JJ though."

The words took a second to sink in before Josh could even have a coherent thought related to them. Finally, he smiled. Maybe he didn't hate his name that much if he got to share it with this kid. Hayley squealed gleefully when she saw his reaction.

"He knew that would cheer you up! Oh my god. You are married!" She exclaimed. Her voice became serious then. "Fuck you for not telling me you were married by the way. Now I'm a slut by association."

Josh laughed. "I didn't know if I still was." He looked down at the note again, unable to stop smiling. "Wow. His name is Joshua."

"Josh, he's so cute. He looks exactly like you, and he's so tiny. Tyler had him inside of his coat while he was there. It was the cutest thing." Josh barely had time to smile before she was talking again. "Oh! He said to give you these."

She unzipped her backpack further before handing him some pink flowers. These must be the carnations. Josh smiled at her, only for her phone to click.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" He asked.

"No," she replied guiltily.

"That was the picture sound. I may not be an expert on technology, but that was the picture sound," he said. Her phone made the sound again and she grinned. He laughed. "Stop it." It clicked again, and he snatched the phone out of her hand, stuffing it in his pocket.

She giggled. "He wanted a picture!"

"Oh," Josh replied quietly. "Why?"

"I told him I'd show him your reaction to the flowers. I'm true to my word," she told him, grinning as she slid out of her chair and went to pour him a cup of coffee.

She didn't add anything to it, which was probably the closest thing to knowing Josh as was possible right now. She grabbed him a piece of paper and a pen as well.

"What are these for?" He asked as he sipped his coffee.

"He said the only way he'll believe it's you is if you can tell me exactly what the last present you gave him was and why you gave it to him. I want you to write it down so he can have it word for word. Cool?" She asked as she went back over to the coffee maker, pouring herself a cup before mixing in all sorts of sugary stuff.

Josh nodded, looking down at the paper. "Yeah, I just...I've gotta remember. The first was the amulet, the second was probably non-white clothes....What else did I give him?" Suddenly it dawned on him. He knew exactly what he'd given Tyler and exactly why. A smile tugged at his lips. "Got it."

"Well, write it down! I'm bringing it to him tomorrow. You can come if you want," she told him. "I think he was kind of hoping you would."

"What time?" Josh asked as he quickly wrote out everything he remembered.

"After school. Maybe around 3:15."

Josh sighed. "I have to babysit until five and then I have to go talk to that government guy."

"They're called counsellors, Josh, and they don't really work for the government." Hayley giggled.

"Everyone works for the government," Josh mumbled as he continued to write. "Um, just leave whatever notes and stuff there tomorrow. I'll go get them whenever I'm done. It's been too long since someone pissed on my dad's grave anyways."

Hayley smirked as she drank her coffee. "Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have a crush on you when you say stuff like that?"

"Like what?" Josh asked distractedly.

She laughed. "Just keep writing, Josh."

Josh smiled as he continued writing it all out, sliding it to Hayley when he was finished. He sipped his coffee as she picked it up and read through it. Her eyebrows raised.

"Interesting choice in gifts, but the reasoning is cute. Cute in a 'we got married in a cult' kind of way," she said calmly.

"You suck," he told her.

"Not my job anymore, sweetheart."