Wait to start the song.
As always, Milk Fic comments of any kind will get you muted. You are not an invalid. Act like it. I have muted far too many of you for this chapter alone.
***There will be mentions of bloodletting marks in this chapter, so be safe.***

Basketball practice seemed to drag on for hours. Tyler couldn't stop thinking about how Josh had looked at him like he was genuinely scared of him. Josh knew he wasn't mad at him, right?

His agitation showed as they ran drills. He fouled his teammates again and again as he became more and more angry with himself. He'd let Josh down. He'd let his best friend in the whole world down on the day when he'd needed him most.

It wasn't until Tyler was in the locker room, pulling his street shoes back on, that his team even dared to ask him what was wrong. Mark Eshleman cleared his throat as he sat down on the bench beside Tyler. Tyler didn't look at him.

"Hey, man. Is everything okay?" He asked carefully.

Mark glanced over his shoulder at the other players, all of which were trying and failing to look like they weren't listening in. They all looked a bit worried. Mark looked back to Tyler then.

"Ty, you haven't acted like this since you first joined the team after.... Look, man. You can talk to us. We're here for you," he insisted.

Tyler pulled his other shoe on, sighing as he tied it. "I'm fine. I just need to check on Josh."

"Cult Josh?" One of the other boys asked, looking surprised.

At least three of the other players smacked him on the back of the head, chastising him in harsh whispers.

A familiar heavy feeling settled in the pit of Tyler's stomach. Just like Tyler would always be the kid with the scars, Josh would always be the kid from the cult to these people. No one was ever going to fully understand.

"Yeah," Tyler muttered, pulling a sweatshirt over his head before sticking his stuff into his locker and closing it. He locked it quickly.

Brad Heaton looked a bit uneasy as he said to Tyler, "Do you have to check on him because of what Rick did?"

That caught Tyler by surprise. "Who's Rick?"

Silence fell across the locker room. Each of Tyler's teammates glanced at each other nervously before Brad cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Rick Eikenger, bro. He's on the football team. He kind of decked Josh in the face after fifth period. Your boy was tough though. He didn't react at all. Barely even flinched." It was clear that Brad was trying to be comforting, but it wasn't working.

Tyler picked up his backpack and rushed out of the locker room. His teammates all shouted out apologies and goodbyes and condolences, but Tyler didn't care. How could he when someone had hit Josh and he'd been too mad at Dallon to know?

-----

Tyler didn't even bother knocking on the door at Josh's house. He didn't care that he still stank from practice. He didn't say hi to Josh's flustered grandmother as he ran past her. He didn't even take in anything until he pushed Josh's bedroom door open, finding him alone on his bed doing homework.

Josh seemed surprised when he looked up at Tyler through a swollen black eye. He didn't move closer to Tyler or say anything, and Tyler knew Josh hadn't known he wasn't the one Tyler was mad at. Guilt was clear on Josh's face, and Tyler's heart broke.

Without a word, Tyler climbed onto Josh's bed, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Hesitantly, Josh's arms wrapped around him as well. Tyler pressed a kiss to the top of Josh's head.

"I'm gonna find the asshole who hit you and kick his ass," Tyler told him.

Josh shook his head where it was buried against Tyler's chest. "Not worth it," he mumbled.

"You're always worth it," Tyler promised his husband honestly.

The older boy smiled slightly. "Does this mean you aren't mad at me anymore?"

"I was never mad at you, sweetheart. You didn't do anything wrong. I promise," Tyler said softly.

It was almost a full minute before Josh felt ready to unbury himself from Tyler's chest and break the hug. He laughed when Tyler pulled him right back in. After a full day of feeling anxious about having done something wrong, Tyler knew his husband would need more than one minute of reassurance.

"Wanna have another sleepover?" Tyler asked Josh softly. He felt Josh nod against his chest. "Are you gonna let me shower before we go to bed?" Josh shook his head, making Tyler laugh. "Why not?"

"Need you to keep holding me," Josh said quietly, but there was something vulnerable in his voice. He wasn't saying it to be funny or cute. He genuinely needed Tyler to protect him from whatever was going on in his mind.

Tyler kissed the top of Josh's head. "Okay, little spoon. I'm not going anywhere. I'll hold you until you're ready to come back out, okay? Whenever you're ready. Don't rush yourself. I wanna hold you just as much as you wanna be held. It's no trouble for me," Tyler assured his husband.

He felt Josh nod again. "Are you sure?" Josh whispered, and Tyler heard his voice break slightly.

Tyler closed his eyes, holding Josh tighter. "I'm positive. Come here." Tyler helped Josh to climb into his lap before holding him close again. He rocked Josh slightly. "I'm here. I'll keep you safe."

He heard Josh take in another wavering breath before laughing tearfully. "You smell really bad."

Tyler laughed. "I just spent the last three hours sweating my ass off."

"Don't do that. You have a cute ass," Josh said into Tyler's chest, and he could hear the smile in his husband's voice.

"You should see how cute it is after I shower," Tyler said with a grin. "It glimmers."

Josh laughed again, tightening his arms around Tyler's waist as he tilted his head up to look at him. His bruised eye made Tyler's heart ache. "Can't let you shower, but I can give you a bath."

"Does that mean you'll take a bath with me?" Tyler asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Josh laughed, burying his face against Tyler's chest again. "No. I already took a shower today. I just wanna take care of you."

A warmth spread in Tyler's chest. He knew Josh was already being more vulnerable than he was comfortable with, so maybe giving him this one bit of dominance back would even out the scales again. Besides, bathing Tyler might make Josh feel a little bit more at home.

"Am I gonna smell as good as you do when you're done with me?" He asked.

Josh lifted his head and smiled at him gratefully. "Better," he insisted.

-----

It was kind of adorable how concentrated Josh looked as he washed Tyler's hair. He was kneeling on the floor outside of the tub as he rubbed shampoo into Tyler's hair. It was the same strange homemade kind they'd had inside the community, and Tyler belatedly realized that this concoction was likely the reason all of the Duns smelt so fantastic. Their mom made their soap.

"Wanna know a secret?" Josh asked Tyler as he rubbed the delicious smelling soap into the hair on the back of Tyler's head.

"Yeah, of course," Tyler agreed easily.

Josh picked up an extremely familiar chalice from beside the tub and filled it with water before beginning to carefully rinse the soap out of Tyler's hair. "I did something bad," Josh admitted, and once again, there was vulnerability in his voice.

"What kind of bad?" Tyler asked worriedly, keeping his eyes closed until all of the soap was out of his hair.

When Tyler did open his eyes, he saw how hard it was for Josh to admit whatever secret he was offering to give to Tyler. There was pain in Josh's eyes, which weren't meeting Tyler's. When Josh reached for the bottle of homemade conditioner, Tyler took his hand instead, tangling their fingers together. Josh looked at him anxiously.

"Hey, I promise right here and now that no matter what you say, I won't be mad at you. All I'll do is kiss and snuggle you until you don't feel guilty anymore. I swear on my life," Tyler assured his husband.

Josh searched Tyler's eyes worriedly before nodding. With the hand not holding Tyler's, he pulled up his sleeve. There was a scabbed over red gash on his already scarred arm, just thick enough to suggest that he'd punished himself today in the way he'd been trained to. Tyler's heart sank.

"Everyone around me always winds up getting hurt. I didn't...I didn't know what else to do," Josh said weakly as tears formed in his eyes. "The lady from the government said talking about things helps, but whenever I talk about stuff, it hurts and scares people. I'm sorry, Tyler."

Tyler took in a deep breath before bringing Josh's arm up to his lips and kissing the wound softly. "Next time, talk to me. You don't scare me one bit. You're my baby and my little spoon and my best friend. You can always talk to me, even if you think I'm mad at you. Even if I was, I wouldn't be anymore if I knew you needed me. My whole purpose in life is to protect you and Ashley and JJ and the rest of our crazy, messed up family. Talk to me if you're upset. Always talk to me. I'll listen, and I'll hold you, and I'll protect you, and I'll kiss your cute little lips until you can't help but smile. I promise."

That was when Josh broke. His tears spilled over and his shoulders sunk as he sat forward and hugged Tyler so tightly that he couldn't breathe. Tyler shushed Josh, not hesitating or even giving it a second thought before he was lifting his fully-clothed husband into his lap. Water soaked into Josh's dark jeans, but he didn't seem to notice as he sobbed against Tyler's shoulder.

"You're safe, Josh. You're safe. Nothing's going to hurt you. I'll protect you from everything that hurts. I promise I'm doing the best I can," he murmured softly, rocking Josh like he usually rocked their son.

The pain evident in Josh's sobs made Tyler feel more protective than he ever had been. His husband had needed him, and he'd been distracted by basketball of all things. He should've never gone to basketball practice when he suspected Josh thought he was mad at him. This had been a rough enough day for Josh without Tyler adding on stress.

"I'm sorry," Josh sobbed out helplessly, just like he had this morning. "I don't want to hurt everyone, but I do. Everyone around me-"

"The people around you who matter love you too much to care about a little bit of trouble. We don't mind helping you on stressful days like today. We don't mind putting our own problems on the back burner for a while when you need us. We don't mind holding you while you cry or listening to you when you're hurting or being needed by you. You're my best friend, Josh. If you ever need anything, that's not an inconvenience. If you need to prioritise your feelings over mine sometimes, that's completely fine. At the end of the day, I'll help you however you need me to because that's what I signed up for when I decided to let you be the most important person in my life. I don't mind, Josh. You're worth any pain I'll ever experience and more. I swear on my life."

Josh was shaking, but he wasn't crying as hard now. His body was slumped into Tyler's with both relief and exhaustion. He didn't say a word as Tyler helped him out of his clothes. He was too exhausted to do anything but watch and snuggle against Tyler like JJ always did as he allowed Tyler to finish washing himself before washing Josh's trembling body. He massaged all of the residual tension out of Josh's heavy limbs and stiff back until he was like melted butter against Tyler's chest.

"I love you, princess," Josh whispered weakly.

"I love you too, sweetheart," Tyler replied without hesitation. "You're the princess tonight, okay? I'm gonna protect you and take extra good care of you."

Josh hid his face against the crook of Tyler's neck before whispering, "Sometimes princes need to be taken care of too."

Tyler smiled slightly. "Yes, they do, and I'll do everything I can to make sure my prince is safe and sound."

The water was getting cold, but Tyler didn't want to stop holding Josh. His husband was still shaking slightly, sniffling occasionally. He needed Tyler right now, and Tyler couldn't let him down.

"Okay, honey. I'm gonna dry you off now and take you upstairs. Then I'll hold you all night long and make sure nothing hurts you, okay? I'll cuddle you and kiss you until you're sick of me. I just have to let go for one second to get towels, okay? Then I'll carry you upstairs for bed," Tyler told Josh in as gentle a voice as possible.

Josh nodded, sniffling and wiping at his teary eyes as he climbed out of Tyler's lap. Tyler sat forward and kissed Josh slowly, putting as much love and reassurance into it as he knew how. Josh watched Tyler trustingly when he broke the kiss, climbing out of the tub to get towels. As soon as he had them and had wrapped one around his own waist and another around Josh's, he carried his gentle husband back upstairs.

As usual, the Duns didn't mind that Tyler and Josh weren't clothed. Nudity didn't bother them. It was only Josh's grandmother who gave them a disapproving look, but it melted away instantly when she realized Josh was boneless, black-eyed, and tear-stained. Maybe her maternal instincts were finally kicking in, or maybe it was harder to be afraid of someone when they looked so vulnerable. Either way, she didn't make any comments as Tyler carried Josh upstairs.

Start the song. It's Snow by Nicole Dollanganger.

Tyler tucked Josh into bed without dressing him before climbing in next to him. He simply tossed their towels on the ground before tangling his body with Josh's and holding him so close that he could feel Josh's heartbeat against his chest.

When Josh looked up at Tyler with defeat in his usually warm brown eyes, Tyler kissed him. The kiss was slow and gentle, making Josh shiver. The kiss seemed to last forever, not stopping until every muscle in both their bodies had become too soft to ache. Still, Tyler held Josh closely. He peppered his face with kisses, sang to him quietly, and told Josh thousands of things he loved about him without having to repeat himself once.

"I love you," Tyler whispered to Josh, tracing the older boy's spine with his fingertips. "There isn't a single part of you that I don't love-inside or out. You're perfect to me."

Josh smiled contentedly, his eyelids already heavy with sleep. "I love you too. Thanks for loving me."

Tyler kissed Josh's lips again softly. "Thanks for loving me back."

"Thanks for not being mad at me," Josh said in a tiny voice.

Tyler pulled Josh impossibly closer, pressing a featherlight kiss to his nose. "I'll never be too angry to take care of you, Josh. We could be in the biggest fight ever, and I'd still drop everything if you needed me. You're my husband. That makes you more important to me than any anger I'd ever be feeling."

Josh's eyelids finally slipped shut as he rested his head on Tyler's chest. "I know I'm supposed to be the one who protects you, but I always feel safer with you here," Josh whispered.

Pressing one more lingering kiss to Josh's forehead, Tyler closed his eyes too. "That's because I'd never let anything hurt you, Josh."

It was becoming clear that Josh was fighting sleep in order to be able to talk to Tyler for longer. After such a long and stressful day, though, Tyler knew his husband needed to sleep. He kissed Josh's soft lips three more times before closing his own eyes and relaxing. He could feel Josh's muscles beginning to relax into sleep, so he sang to him softly until he finally gave in and drifted off atop Tyler's chest.

Tyler looked at his husband lovingly for a moment before glancing at the tiny black statue sitting atop the table beside Josh's bed. It was laying on its side, the eerie smiling face facing away from them. Careful not to wake his husband, Tyler reached over and stood it back up, facing them.

Josh didn't need to be ashamed or afraid of who he was or had been. Tyler would do anything and everything he could to prove that to him.