22. Donuts

Start the song. It's Devil Town by Bright Eyes.

Social workers had never been Josh's favourite people. They probably never would be. He stared out of the living room window as theirs talked to his mother and grandparents. She was the same woman who'd been responsible for their case since he was a kid. Liv was asleep on Josh's lap while Ashley talked Abigail through cutting Jordan's hair quietly. Jordan looked terrified whenever Abigail came anywhere near his curls with her gleeful eyes and steel scissors, but Josh was hardly paying attention.

It was official. The government had decided. Each and every one of the Dun children had to return to school. Josh couldn't help wondering if Pete had anything to do with this sudden decision, but he remained silent.

No one believed him that he'd seen his best friend in the hospital. They told him it was only a hallucination, and maybe they were right. He hadn't heard from Pete or Patrick since.

"We can transfer them to different schools if returning to their old one proves to be a problem, but I think they'd all benefit from the familiarity," the social worker explained.

"Abigail has never been to a public school," Mrs. Dun told the social worker quietly.

The woman glanced at Abigail, who was having the scissors confiscated from her by her big sister. She'd tried to cut off a massive chunk of hair at the back of Jordan's head. Worry tinged the woman's features as she looked back to Mrs. Dun.

"I can see that. It's better to start sooner than later. I'm sure she's very behind," the woman said sadly.

Abigail came to sit by Josh, pulling his arm around her shoulders as she pressed herself against his side. He hugged her tighter, continuing to soothe his fingers through Liv's tangled hair.

Unable to defend that, Mrs. Dun simply nodded. "Yes."

"They'll need to start school tomorrow. The paperwork is all finished. This visit is more of a formality and an opportunity to explain to you what we need to do," the social worker explained.

Josh met his grandfather's gaze, appreciating the apologetic look being sent his way. He'd known Josh for barely over a year and he already worried about him. Josh smiled sadly. His grandfather sighed, standing up. The room fell silent as he walked right past the social worker.

"Josh, can I talk to you for a moment?" He asked, as he passed him.

Josh nodded, shifting his niece into Abbie's lap and following his grandfather into the kitchen. His grandfather said nothing to him at first, simply going about making a pot of coffee. It took a moment for Josh to realize that his grandfather just saw he wanted to leave the room and made that a possibility.

"Grandpa?" Josh asked as he sat down at the table.

"What do you need, bud?" His grandfather asked without missing a beat.

Something about that immediate response made Josh instantly feel more comfortable. "Nothing. I just don't want to go back to school. I hate that place."

"I don't blame you," his grandfather sighed out.

The old man walked over to the china hutch in the back of the room and opened it. He took the lid off of some vintage ceramic pot with little angels on it and pulled out a bag that said "Hostess Powdered Donettes." Josh smiled as his grandfather set them in front of him and went to get the coffee.

"You ever had a powdered donut, Josh?" He asked.

Josh shook his head, looking at the pure white circles in the bag in front of him. "No. I don't know what that is."

His grandfather set a mug of coffee down in front of him, gesturing to the bag. "As long as you don't tell your grandma that I hide snacks in her family heirlooms, I'll let you have as many as you want." He winked at Josh, making him smile. "Dig in, my boy."

Josh grinned as he opened the bag, pulling out one of the small donuts. His grandpa watched him in mute anticipation as he took a bite. The moment the donut touched his tongue, his eyes widened. Sugar was new to him in general, but now he was positive that powdered sugar was the best sugar there was.

"Holy shit," he said in amazement.

Grandpa Greg laughed, taking one out of the bag for himself. "They're good, aren't they? Your grandma hates them, but they're my favourite."

"Mine too," Josh decided before eating the other half of the donut. He wasn't even done chewing as he pulled another out of the bag.

"You must get that from me then," his grandfather decided.

That made Josh smile. The idea of getting any sort of trait from his grandfather felt like an honour. If he could be even a tiny percentage of the man his grandpa was, he'd be happy. It was nice to know that there were other options for male role models than just his father and the elders.

"Take a bite of your donut and then wash it down with coffee. Trust me," his grandfather instructed him.

Josh did as he was told, and it was the right choice. "You're a genius!" He exclaimed as he set his mug back down.

"I've been saying that for years and no one seems to listen," his grandfather replied with a good-natured smirk.

Josh laughed, but instantly stopped when his mother came into the room followed by the social worker. He didn't trust that woman. He'd thrown up blood in class because she wouldn't just let him stay home. She smiled when she saw him though, and he knew why. There weren't going to be anymore visits like that one. He was safe here. His grandfather would never let anyone hurt him.

"Joshua, are you going to be okay with going to school tomorrow?" The social worker asked him carefully.

Josh looked over at his grandfather, who smiled supportively. He smiled back slightly before looking back to his social worker. He nodded. "Yeah. I'll be good."

The woman smiled. "I'm positive that you're right," she assured him.

"Thanks," Josh replied quietly.

She smiled as she nodded back. Josh wasn't positive about much of anything, but the one thing he did know was that his spouses wouldn't let anything happen to him. They'd protect him, just like he'd protect them.

-----

Josh sat on his bed once again, staring blankly at the floor as he twisted the faded pink curls atop his head. Anxiety was eating away at him, but he didn't want to bring it up. Everyone else in his family already thought that he'd either lost his mind or that he was too fragile. He didn't want them to worry again.

Thoughts were flooding through Josh's head, washing away any of the comfort his grandfather had given him. His heart ached in his chest. Going back to the same school would mean facing the people who'd hated them before they'd even had a real reason to. Now that they had one, who knew what they'd do.

He glanced at the little black figure Tyler had given him. Its familiar sneer gave him a slight comfort, but that only troubled him more. He reached over and took it off of his bedside table. The goat-like man's knowing smile reminded him of his father. He sighed before setting it back down on the table.

His heart clenched as he looked around the room again, his eyes finding his own in the mirror on the wall. In some ways, he didn't look like he had when he'd first gotten here, but in other ways he hadn't changed at all. His eyes were just as troubled, but more tired too. It had been a while since he'd shaved, which made him look more like his father than he wanted to. The pink hair was the biggest change, and suddenly, he hated it.

He hated that he'd done it just because he was bored. He hated that he could see his father's disappointed expression in his mind. He hated that he'd hurt Hayley. He hated that he already knew how much shit he'd get for this stupid hair colour at school.

This hair hadn't helped him overcome his anxieties connected to colour. It had been a mask he'd put on to convince himself that he was just a normal teenager, but he wasn't. He never could be. He'd grown up inside of a Satanic cult. He'd been forced to marry two people who had lives outside of the fence that they'd been brainwashed to forget. His father was a mass murderer. His grandmother only saw him as a rapist, and he was.

Then again, there was one thing about him that none of those terrible things could ever touch. He had Tyler and Ashley. They had the most perfect baby boy he'd ever met. He had people who'd do anything for him, not because they feared him, but because they loved him so dearly. That was enough for Josh to smile slightly.

He picked up the picture sitting beside the statue. JJ's smile was so bright and so pure. It was almost like he knew he'd already overcome massive things, and that he had three parents who loved him endlessly.

As strange as it felt, Josh pulled his phone out and dialled Tyler's number. Asking for help was very new to him, but Tyler had told him to call if he needed it.

"Hey, you! I was just thinking about you. What's up?" Tyler asked cheerfully.

Josh smiled at the sound of his husband's calm voice. Tyler was safe. Tyler was happy. Things were okay.

"Am I still allowed to ask you for help?" Josh asked, hating the weakness in his voice.

"Absolutely," Tyler replied, his voice softer than before. "I'm always here for you."

The words relieved a lot of anxiety on their own, but everything was still too heavy for Josh to carry right now. "I have to go back to school tomorrow, and...and I can't."

Tyler was quiet for a second. "To our school? Like, the one you went to before?"

"Yeah," Josh breathed out. "Tyler, I can't go back. I can't face those people. They're going to think I'm a murderer or a crazy person. Plus I've got this stupid pink hair now too that's just going to draw more attention to me."

"Let me text Ashley, okay? She can dye it back. Don't worry about school either. I'll be there, and so will Ashley. Nobody hurts my husband. Okay? You're absolutely safe," Tyler promised.

"Okay," Josh replied quietly.

"I'm going to come pick you up, okay? We'll go see Ashley. Bring your stuff for school tomorrow. I want you to sleep here where I can hold you, and then I'll take you to school in the morning." Tyler said the words so easily, like he'd been planning this for months.

"Are you sure?" Josh asked anxiously.

"Am I sure I want to sleep with you in my bed? Yes, Joshua. I'm positive. That's kind of my favourite thing to do." Josh could practically hear Tyler smiling.

Josh's lips tugged up into a slight smile despite his anxiety. "Thank you, Ty."

"You don't have to thank me. We're married. It's my job to take care of you," Tyler assured him. "I love you."

"I love you too," Josh replied quietly, looking down at the picture of JJ again. He was okay. Everything would be okay.

"I'll be there in a couple minutes. Don't stress yourself out. I'll take care of everything," Tyler told him softly.

Josh smiled again. "Okay. Bye, princess."

"Bye, sweetheart."

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