Days have passed after that, I didn’t meet Taehyun first. I decided to not to talk to him for now and make time for Aera. Taehyun and I talked about it and of course he agreed like he doesn’t give a damn about it. Also, he’s busy with his business again and so I am.

About Soobin hyung, he’s also busy. I think things got serious in his class and they are having this modeling test to filter them because they are too many— yeah, we barely talk too.

The branch of Spring is also now in the making and seeing its fast progress, I am really happy that my labor is making another fruit. I can’t wait to open it to public. Well, thanks to Taehyun.

Speaking of, I kind a miss him.

“Babe! It’s mom and dad’s wedding anniversary next week, so make sure to come, okay?” she invited me as soon as she get off from my car.

“Of course, babe! My mom will scold me if I won’t attend,” I joked and we both laugh. “Head inside now, you look so tired,” I added.

“Yeah, the expo event is really tiring but it was fun. Thank you babe! You too, take care and drive safely,” she replied.

I kissed the top of her head. “You two babe. Goodnight, I love you.”

“Goodnight and I love you too! See you tomorrow!”

I started driving after bidding our goodbyes. I’m in the road heading to my unit when I receive an unexpected call from Taehyun. Took him so long to call me, tsk.

“Yeah?”

(Fetch me, let’s go somewhere.)

“Where are you? I’m coming.”

I went to where he is right now and it’s in front of a department store. He opens the door and sits beside me. “Where are you here?” I asked him and drive again.

“Checked my store and business stuffs. Where were you earlier?” he asked me back while tugging his seatbelt.

“I’m with Aera,” I just replied. “Where are we heading?”

“Wait,” he said and then open the map in my car. “I’m going to get busy again for the next days so I want to rest first,” he reasoned while finding the location.

“Then why did you ask me out if you want to rest? You should have go home and sleep instead,” I replied.

“You’re my rest too, hyung.”

It made me pause for a minute. He said it without any care or any hint of romance. He said those like it didn’t affect me at all. I just shut my mouth and didn’t reply at him.

“Okay! Here, let’s go there,” he stated and went back to leaning and closed his eyes.

“Tired?”

“Being a CEO? Yes,” he replied.

“How about being Kang Taehyun?”

He chuckles. “I’m not sure, maybe…”

The whole drive went silent when he started sleeping. I played some slow music so I won’t get bored on the road and it’s also dark. We are already outside the city and then I stopped the car after reaching this port.

I went out and my nose meets the fishy and salty smell of the water as. The port is quiet at night and I can see resting boats and not that big ships.

I knocked the window to wake him up and open the door for him. “Oh, we’re here,” he commented. “Sorry, I slept.”

“It’s okay, let’s sit there,” I replied.

We both take a seat at the ground while facing the ocean and hearing its sound everytime it hits the seawall. “Why do you suddenly to be in here?” I asked.

“I don’t know either. Because there’s only few people in here? This isn’t the main port of the country, this is only for fishermen and I really want to go somewhere like beach but too busy to do that. So, here,” he explained.

I nod, “Good point,” I replied, shortly and we went silent again.

“Taehyun, do you like me?”

“Yeah, I do—“

“Romantically?”

“No.”

I pursed my lips. “Why?”

He let out a deep sigh first. “I just don’t want to make things complicated,” he reasoned.

I held his hand. “Doesn’t it flutter you if I touch you like this? If I held your face like this?” I asked and held his cheek. “Or this,” I kissed him gently. “Do you feel nothing at all?”

“I do, it does.”

“Then why? Taehyun, I like you. We can work things out if only you will allow me,” I convinced him.

“Are you sure you really like me?”

“Y-yeah but don’t end what’s with us yet. Please?”

“I’m just asking you if you really like me. We’re fucking each other so sometimes the feelings of lust and love tends to mix,” he replied and looked at me. “So, do you really like me?”

“W-well, but I can feel it. For real, I can really feel that I like you,” I implored, looking at him sincerely.

“So, do you want us to be like boyfriends?”

“Yeah, if you w-want because if you will allow me I will do anything for you. I will break up with Aera and start anew with you. I can take care of you, Kang—“

“You can’t,” he cut me off and takes off his hands from me. “I’m stubborn, I’m crazy, and you can’t handle me— no one can, Choi. I’m unstable and aren’t you afraid?”

“Afraid of what?”

“You cheated because of me, Choi. If we’ll be in a relationship, I might cheat too. I might find some dude to fuck me up rather of you. That’s how crazy slut, bitch I am,” he stated.

“I will love you enough so you can’t feel the need of others,” I insisted.

“No, you really love Aera before you meet me. You love her so much that you didn’t saw this coming and it might still repeat if you’re with me. Because if you really love her, you will never be with me since then.”

I kept silent for a moment. Doesn’t know what I should rebut because it’s true. I’m about to propose to her if things didn’t get fucked up. I guess these are all because of me all along.

“We can love someone without having relationship, hyung. You can care to someone without the label. Love is an outward reaction, so don’t expect that it’ll bounce back to you. I do like you but not to the point that I love you,” he stated.

“I don’t want us to get in relationship because I don’t want complications. You’ll break up with Aera and choose me? That’s absurd. It sounds like you’re also killing yourself. You’re going to exchange someone that really loves you to someone who just wants to get fucked and only think fun stuffs?”

“W-we can work it out—“

“We can’t. If you really like me, let’s stay like this until how much we can hold on.”

“But I want to end things with Aera too. S-she loves me so much, I don’t want to hurt her more,” I muttered as I felt my throat getting drier, stopping myself to cry.

“Then let’s end this. Should we?”

I scoff. “How is this just so easy to you, Kang?”

“I’m not like you who take everything seriously. I told you, I’m here for fun but sadly, you like me,” he sighs. “What should I do? Okay! Let’s just end this,” he stated and stood up.

I grip his hand and looked at him. “N-no please, don’t. Don’t leave me yet,” I begged.

“When should I leave you?”

Tears build up and my heart started beating fast. It pains me how Taehyun see me nothing but just someone who he wants to help his lustful desires. It hurts me that he can leave me easily like we don’t have this thing.

Right, we’re just fuck buddies to begin with but I started liking him when clearly that’s the number one DON’T.

No, don’t. Don’t leave me, ever.

“Next week, my grandma’s celebrating her birthday. Do you want to come with me?” he suddenly asked when he noticed I don’t have any plans of answering him.

I stood up and hug him. “I’m sorry for confessing my feeling for you,” I whispered as I cry.

“I’m sorry for making you liking me too. I never intended to do that. I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“No, it’s not your f-fault. You don’t h-have any fault because this is my own feelings but p-please, I’m begging you. Don’t l-leave me yet, Taehyun,” I begged and tighten my embrace at him.

I felt him gently rubbing my back. “I’ll leave you if she finds out, okay? So you need to do everything not to get caught, if you want us to stay longer.”

“Yes. Yes I will. Just don’t leave me, please?”

He let go of the hug and looked at me. He smiles and then brushed the tears on my cheeks.

“Aigoo, I didn’t think you’ll cry like this after that,” he chuckles. “So what if I leave you? Don’t tell me you’re going to die or something?” he jokes again.

“Stop! I’m literally in pain right now. My chest is so heavy!” I whine.

He even laughs and hugs me again. “That’s why I don’t want to get in love again. It’s just so complicated,” he stated.

“Again?”

He nods and let go of the hug. “You know, some shits,” he confirmed. “So, are you coming with me next week?” he asked.

“Next week? Uhm, what date?”

“Friday.”

“Oh, t-that—“

“Other plans? It’s okay, you don’t—“

“No! I can but a l-little late?”

He chuckles again. “Sure, I’m not expecting but I’ll be waiting.”

“Isn’t that the same?”

He puts both of his hand on my waist. “No but just a little,” he then laughs.

I smiled and kissed his forehead. “Let’s see each other there, okay? I’ll message you first and I really missed you so bad, I could fuck you in here,” I stated.

“My God! Please do it.”

We both laugh at each other and we actually fuck inside the car. I can’t help it. He himself is so adorable that I can’t say no. We just make it quick because we need to get back right away.

I confirmed that in this thing between us, I’m the only one who loves him. In this ‘us’ I’m the only one who’ll get hurt if things went worst. In this supposed to be just a playtime, he’s the only one enjoying the game.

I’m in love with him but we can’t be together.