I have not slowed down
for one moment
I haven't been able to

I know I need to find
some private place
to think about this
and to let myself
feel the shock
and the pain

to let it settle in

but I'm afraid.
If I stop will I be able
to start again?

So I run on
with a busy life

I do not mourn
and yet I cannot sleep
or I might dream
about it all
and spiral down

So I protect
this festering
wound that
silently bleeds