Trigger Warning for:

Suicide, self-harm, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, etc. 

Stay safe. :)

~*~*~

~ The finale of the musical wasn't the first time Jason had felt suicidal.

~ Peter and Jason both self-harmed, but not in the form of cutting, so they didn't think of it as self-harm. They were in denial. 

~ They unknowingly enabled the other person's unhealthy coping mechanism, and when Peter realized later in life (after Jason had passed) he felt super guilty all over again even though he wasn't doing it on purpose and he had on way of knowing his thought process was harmful.

~ Peter had anxiety attacks, while Jason had panic attacks. 

~ Peter had his first one without explanation, and Jason had his first one the first time he had gotten lower than an 85% on a test (14 years old, by the way).

~ Peter would self-harm by using his nails to dig into and break his skin, while Jason was too paranoid about leaving scars, so he would do things like clutch an ice cube until it burns.

~ However, after 15 years, he didn't think anyone would notice anyway and really went to town. The only person who knew was Peter and Nadia (but they didn't know Nadia knew).

~ The mortician at the funeral home were the ones that informed the McConnell's of Jason's scars.

~ Peter actually actively tried to stop self-harming, but Jason didn't see what was wrong with it, so he never even attempted to get clean.

~ Peter really only tried to get clean because of a fear someone would find out.

~ Before the events of the musicals, the longest Peter had ever been clean was 4 months.

~ Nadia caught Jason self-harming one time but didn't say anything in fear of scaring him.

~ She didn't know about his panic attacks though.

~ When Peter had anxiety attacks, he needed something to ground him, which usually came in the form of Jason just putting his entire body weight on Peter.

~ The sleeves on all of Peter's jackets/cardigans are wrecked because he either pulls on them or chews on them when anxious.

~ Jason was the exact opposite. Anyone touching him would only make it worse. Peter would try to help as best he could.

~ They just had to figure it out on their own, seeing as they didn't really have any resources to be directed to. It was definitely a learning curve.

~ Let's end on a high note: they got pretty good at knowing what the other person needed during an attack (they were roommates and as far as they thought the only people who knew about the attacks), so they managed (not really). 

(A/N) Can you tell I'm projecting?