(A/N)Am I projecting onto Jason? That's a secret I'll never tell. You know you're done with my emotional bullshit. xoxo, Gossip Girl.

~*~*~

"Hey, Peter, umm...I wanted to ask you about something."

Peter looked up from his bed where he was doing homework over to where his roommate, Jason, was sitting and reading a book.

The hairs on his arm raised, along with his heart rate. Anxieties flew through him at lightning speeds; he pulled on his hard hat to prepare for the bomb he knew was about to drop. He had been expecting it ever since that moment a few weeks ago when Jason had pulled him into the kiss with his dreamy arms.

Peter took a deep breath and nodded, anticipating the worst,

"Yeah. You can talk to me about whatever."

Jason drew back slightly and Peter instantly knew that was probably the wrong thing to say. Jason looked away and wrapped his arms around himself,

"Are you sure?"

Peter tilted his head and offered a small tentative smile,

"Of course I am."

Jason drew a deep breath in and spat out the poison that had been simmering in his stomach for the past few weeks,

"isitnormalforyourdadtocussyouout?"

Peter blinked hard a few times, taking a moment to process what Jason had just said...

What?!

"...why do you ask?"

Jason attempted a nonchalant shrug--that was the least convincing thing ever--and brushed it off,

"No reason."

Peter slowly closed the textbook that was sitting impatiently in his lap and set it aside. His homework could wait.

"Jason..."

What was he supposed to say? It's not like he knew what was normal concerning fathers; this wasn't exactly his area of expertise. But cussing a child out...that couldn't be normal, could it? And even if it was, it wasn't okay...right?

"You know my dad. You know he just...ignores me. So..."

"Y-you're right. I don't know why I'm stressing about this it's not even that bad. Just, forget I said anything-"

"What? No no, no no,"

Peter got up and walked over to where Jason was across the room, taking note of the small flinch when he reached out to place a comforting hand on Jason's bicep,

"I wasn't saying that your's isn't bad. In fact, if your dad does cuss you out, that's probably a problem. I was just saying...I'm not sure. I'm just not exactly a good judge of what is and isn't normal when it comes to dads..."

Jason took a deep breath and blinked as if he was trying to clear his vision,

"But like...before he got all...weird...did he ever cuss you out? Whenever he got angry?"

It didn't take Peter any deep digging to know what the answer was: no. No, his father would never cuss him out. That's ridiculous.

"No, never. I was just a little kid. And don't think he would've cussed me out if I was older. Dads aren't supposed to do that."

Once again, Peter realized a bit too late that what he said probably wasn't the best option, watching Jason's arms wrap tighter around himself and his face scrunch up in an effort not to cry. Peter's eyes widened and he took a step towards Jason with half-hearted outstretched arms, not anticipating to feel his boyfriend's full weight crash onto him like beach waves on the sand. 

Jason flung his arms around Peter's neck and squeezed tight, the pressure of Peter's arms around his waist grounding him. He had tried to keep it in. Really, he had. He promises.

He overflowed with emotions as tears escaped onto his face, getting Peter's shirt wet. It wasn't loud, dramatic sobbing; just quiet desperation from a person who just couldn't hold it in anymore. 

Peter just held Jason with such strength, as if afraid he was going to run away.

Peter led Jason to Jason's bed and laid him down on it. Instinctually, Jason furled up into a fetal position, taking defense. Peter lay next to him, facing him and trying not to jump to conclusions about what Jason's father might have done.

Jason still had his face scrunched up and began to babble, shaking his head,

"I-I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry for just crying like this. I just-I-my dad-he-he just-"

Peter rubbed his palm in gentle circles into Jason's back, shushing him with whispers,

"You don't have to tell me. You don't have to feel guilty. It's okay to cry."

Jason had another onslaught of tears, but Peter continued without bringing attention to it.

"You're so brave, you know that right? You're so brave."

Jason gasped a few times, trying to gain thought,

"Hh-how can this be br-brave? I'm crying like a p-pathetic baby-y...it's annoying..."

"...Babies cry because they need something. Even if a baby crying is annoying to some people, it's good that the baby is crying. Because then they get what they need. Luckily, you're not a baby, and your crying is not annoying. You let yourself cry, knowing I might think you're being annoying. That's brave."

Peter placed a soft kiss on Jason's temple and wrapped his arm even tighter around Jason's trembling body. 

Jason looked up, tears still streaming down his face,

"C-can I kiss you?"

Peter smiled softly,

"Of course."

Jason leaned in for a soft peck, feeling Peter's hand rest on his cheek. He hummed softly and sighed in content when they parted, the tears mostly stopping. 

He took a few deep breaths, feeling a slight headache from crying gripping his temple. Now able to get air into his system, he was thinking a bit clearer. 

Peter combed his fingers through his boyfriend's hair, humming a soft lullaby he remembered his mother used to sing when he couldn't get to sleep.

"Are you...better?"

Jason sniffled a few times and shrugged,

"Yes...and no."

"What's still wrong?"

Jason shifted his weight a bit and sighed,

"It's just...my dad is almost always mad. And if he's not mad, he can get mad very easily. And I try to act properly and everything, but he still gets mad. And it's not my fault that he's always mad, so I try to not make him mad. But he just-"

Jason choked down another wave of tears,

"he just doesn't stop..."

Jason met Peter's eyes and pleaded,

"How do I get him to stop...I need him to stop..."

Peter kissed Jason quickly and rested their foreheads together. 

"Jason, it's not your fault your dad gets mad at you, okay. Sometimes..."

Peter took a deep breath,

"Sometimes dads just do things...that they probably shouldn't do...because they're dealing with their own things. Please know this isn't your fault..."

"But I'm the one that makes him mad. I don't-I don't know to behave, and he gets angry about it. If I just...if I was just better-"

"Jason Matthew McConnell. You don't need to be 'better'. You are fine just the way you are. And it's your father's fault that he can't see that."

Peter gently ran his thumb across Jason's cheek and leaned in to kiss his forehead. Jason took a deep breath in,

"I remember, on me and Nadia's 8th birthday, our parents rented out the entire zoo, and we were both so excited to get to look at all the animals with them..."

he sighed and looked away,

"...they never showed up. My dad promised to make it up to me, but then a week later I lost my baseball game and he forced me to walk back home alone."

Peter couldn't help his eyes widening at that. Jason didn't seem to notice though, as he let out a breathy chuckle,

"Nadia put up such a fight. She would not stop screaming, shouting that they had to let me in the car. I think she would've fought them if she could."

His face returned to its somber expression,

"Of course, the screaming of an 8-year-old girl didn't do anything except make him madder, but I appreciate the sentiment. When I finally got home, I called him out on it because I was 8 and stupid enough to think he cared. He smacked me upside the head. Not anything serious, obviously, but hard enough to make my eyes water. Or maybe those were just normal tears..."

Jason trailed off before shaking his head,

"Either way, he yelled at me to grow a pair, and work for what you want and to stop crying, or else you'll turn into a sissy-"

Jason choked down another sob,

"...a sissy fag."

The word hung heavy in the air, sucking all the oxygen out of the room. No, not a word, this was more than just 'a word'. 

Peter didn't say, couldn't say anything. What does a person say to that? What are you even supposed to say to that?

Peter wrapped his arm around Jason and pulled him in and held him tight, not minding that his shirt was getting soaked from Jason's tears, not minding that there might be a person right outside the door about to come in and bust them. 

He needed to protect Jason.

Jason sobbed into Peter's shoulder and couldn't stop the vomit of words flowing out of him,

"He just-I don't-I try my hardest-I do, I really do, and he just-I don't-I can't"

Peter squeezed Jason so tight he might've burst if he hadn't already. 

And somewhere in his office, Jason's father was sitting in his chair, looking over Jason's report card which had just recently come in the mail.

All A+s. Good. 

He really did do a good job on that kid, didn't he?