Hello friends!! I know u all r hell angry & upset with me for not updating any of my stories for long & this one in particular.... I got to know the amount of ur anger looking at the number of my followers which reduced from 110 to straightaway 103 & it might have lessen more until I publish this update....

I can understand ur anger but this treatment from u all really hurts... I thought that I won ur hearts with the quality of my work & not the quantity... But alas I understood its the opposite...

Guys I m a housewife, a mother, eldest daughter in my maternal side, eldest daughter in law in my inlaws side due to which I have to keep on travelling at both the places from my home for festivals, family gatherings, emergencies, all simple occasions which require my attention & presence as well.....In fact I was on a month long vacation to attend 4 important family functions & I have returned just a few days back & that's the reason I gave two back-to-back updates of EDKV before leaving for my holidays as I won't b able to update during that time... Above all my son was having his 12th board exams which he finished just before v left for the holidays.... I know, I know all these is none of ur concern still I thought to share my problems with u in a hope that u all won't leave my side....

I swear guys I was never worried for getting less followers... Beleive me if that was my concern then I would have done every possible thing to increase them.... Heck, I even know a few people here on Watty who help u to increase ur followers even if those followers don't even know what kind of stories u write or they don't even visit ur profile for once.... Its kind of give & take of followers just to increase ur numbers & I definitely don't want that but yes the sudden decrease in whatever followers I had, has left me disheartened but again its my look out....

Anyways here's the update.... Enjoy..

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Because I LOVE U DAMMIT & CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU...

There he said it. A huge smile broke on his lips with a sigh of relief of finally confessing his feelings to the woman he loves madly, deeply, irrevocably.

But he didn't get the desired reaction from that same woman herself. He had expected atleast a smile of acknowledgement if not a tight hug in the current situation after listening to his confession. But all he got was shock written all over her face with eyes unbelievably widened to his confession.

Its as if she didn't know this fact at all. Or is it that she is not able to trust him even after knowing it very well throughout.

Yes TRUST. That's where he lacks. He never gave her any reason to trust him or his words. Infact evertime she trusted him he has broken it mescilessly with his harsh words & actions.

But now no more. Its high time he gains back her trust alongwith her love.

But they were not the only two to hear that confession. Khushi's Buaji & amma too came there running hearing them shout & stood rooted at the threshold of the room hearing Arnav's confession. They wanted to go in & stop him from influencing their titaliya. But somewhere they could feel the truth & pain behind his words so they left from there without getting noticed by both the figures standing in the room who needed this much needed conversation to sort out their issues to get either a mutually understood & accepted seperation or a happy reunion.

Khushi felt like ages since she was standing still hearing his confession.

She felt that he is in illusion that he loves her or better he doesn't yet know what really love is. Otherwise he wouldn't have done what he did with her whom he claims to love.

After finding her voice she asked him controlling her heartbeats

What is LOVE Arnavji??

If she would have asked him this a few months back then he wouldn't have been able to answer her.

But now when his entire being is dipped in the love of this amazing woman standing infront of him, he won't feel any difficulty to answer her question.

You Khushi.
For me, love is you Khushi.
My Khushi.

Khushi kept staring at him without blinking her eyes.

Your selflessness , your innocence, your giving nature, your big heart, your twinkling eyes, your tempting lips, your contagious smile, your jasmine fragrance, the melodious tinkling of your anklets which fills my heart with joy when ever I hear them, your breathlessnes when I come closer to you just like now, the feel of you in my arms, my yearning to be close to you always, your unbound love for your & my family. All these is love for me Khushi.

Words fell from his lips on its own volition.

He gripped her shoulder balls firmly yet gently & moved very closer to her & said looking straight into her shocked eyes, I know Khushi that you know this truth even before I myself realised that I love you. I also know that after whatever happened you are not able to trust me even though you were yearning to hear the same since long. Believe me, even I wanted to confess it way before but situations didn't allow me to do so & I regret for that.

He confessed his folly.

If the situations wouldn't have been so complicated or rather say if I hadn't complicated the situations with my impulsiveness & prejudiced judgement then I would have confessed my love to you on Akash & Payal's wedding day.

Like Khushi he too was on a toll today to let out everything that he has been hiding in him since long. He wants to pour his heart today to give her a clear view of his feelings for her.

Leaving her shoulders he held her hand & led her to the bed. Seated her on it & himself crouched on the floor near her legs, holding her hands in his, rested their entwined hands on her lap. He continued to convey his feelings looking up towards her face, straight into her eyes.

I started to show my feelings to you through my warm, affectionate & desire filled looks, my actions & efforts of staying close to you all the time, through our proximity in their pre wedding rituals & finally wanted to confess on their wedding night.

He kissed her fingers caressing her wrists with his thumb pads as if that night's pending confession was happening just now & he wanted to make it gentle & soothing.

Khushi was feeling elated inwardly hearing him say that he was as much enchanted by her as much she was by him that time. But she didn't show it on her face. She just looked at him in silence wanting to absorb his words.

I followed you to the terrace to lay open my heart infront of you. But what I saw there broke my heart into millions of pieces & each piece pierced my heart more then the other. I couldn't beleive that the girl with high morals & values, the girl who broke down the resistant walls around ASR, the girl who had started to matter a lot for me could do something like this.

Khushi understood what he was referring to. The pain he felt that night was palpable in his eyes & voice now as well.

I saw you hugging Shyam & telling him to leave my dii. All my love & warm feelings for you evaporated into thin air that very instant & were replaced by anger, hatred, vengeance & revenge from you as I thought you betrayed me & my love. Made a mockery of my & my family's trust on you.

I wanted to punish you Khushi for loving that Shyam & not loving me back when I loved you so much.

Khushi felt anger returning back hearing those half baked facts. She pulled her hands from his & asked him with fury in her eyes & voice

Why didn't you hear the whole conversation? Why didn't you wait to hear what I said after that?? Why did you retreated back assuming such worst of me?? Hell, why didn't you barged in that very instant demanding answers from me instead of blowing your own assumptions??

She was breathing hard not able to digest that he thought such disgust about her.

Arnav struggled to swallow the boulder struck in his throat. His eyes were filled seeing her pain & anxiety. He held her hands again in his & kept on his heart.

I'm sorry Khushi, I'm so so sorry. Yes, I agree I commited a mistake of not waiting there to hear the whole conversation because I couldn't. I was scared Khushi that what would I do if I hear you confessing him those three words which I wanted you to confess to me?? No, Khushi. I couldn't. I would have died that instant if I had heard that. So I decided to retreat from there with a fire of revenge burning inside me to burn you in the same fire & to start with, I forced you in a contract marriage but beleive me Khushi from that day not for a single moment I thought of you anything else other then my wife.

Khushi could see truth in his eyes. She has even experienced that truth in their contract marriage. Her anger mellowed down a bit.

Regardless to what I say Khushi but do you really think I married you only to take revenge??Was marriage only the way to keep you away from my sister & her married life?? No, Khushi. I am the ASR & for me there were more easy ways to keep you away from dii & her marital life until she delivers her baby. Infact by marrying you & bringing you under the same roof as dii I exposed dii more towards danger.

But that was not the case. I wanted to keep you away from Shyam under the pretext of keeping you away from dii & keep you closest to me so that you couldn't go to that Shyam even if you want as per my assumptions then. I wanted to keep you near me in a hope that this might help me to invoke love for me in your heart forgetting that scoundrel.

His heart started beating faster as he remembered that time when he used to think that she loves Shyam & not him. He had stood strong, arrogant & unaffected but the truth was he was breaking from inside day by day living with that so called truth of his. But he had decided never to fall weak infront of her & never let her know about his inclination towards her.

But with due time his determination was crumbling down & he had started  softening towards her. But he was still strong to not voice out his inner feelings. As it is, words came to him with great difficulty & upon that apt words at the right time was a tough job. He didn't want to give her a chance to make a mockery of his feelings if he blurted out anything by mistake.

But today, he himself was surprised that how once he started opening his heart to her, words were flowing flawlessly & effortlessly. Today, he wanted to share all the feelings & emotions he has felt for her from the day they met for the first time till date.

I know Khushi, that my one thoughtless action had led you to public humiliation & I know now that it let Shyam, too, to make his place in your family. My ego, my rudeness, my arrogance, my bitterness, my impulsiveness, my prejudiced view of the situation made your life miserable in Lucknow & thereafter in my office & my house as well.

She drew in a deep shuddering breath, again getting reminded of that horrible incident.

She started to pull back her hands not wanting to hear anything further.

Arnavji, please, I don't want to hear anything more. Please let me go. I need to pack my things. Buaji must be waiting for me.

But he held her hands tight not giving her chance to pull them back. His heart started beating faster at the mention of her leaving him. But he can't let that happen.

I know Khushi, how difficult & uncomfortable it is for you to hear all this. Believe me, it isn't easy for me too, to accept my own wrong doings. But, we need to do this. I heard you out Khushi with full attention as I know you deserved that chance to voice out your feelings, your emotions & your sufferings. Now, please give me a chance, too. Please hear me out for once Khushi.

He requested with beseeching eyes to which she could just nod her head in affirmation. She couldn't bear him pleading infront of her.

Arnav was elated to get her permission. So, he continued further holding her hands again on her lap, firmly yet gently.

Khushi, when I first saw you at Sheeshmahal, when u fell in my arms from over the ramp, my heart tugged at your beauty. Your eyes, your lips, the feel of your soft warm body in my arms was all very captivating & attracting to me. But, the most prominent was the fire in your eyes which was very much capable of burning me into ashes. I felt some alien emotions for the first time which I had never felt before.

Khushi could not help from blushing, hearing him praise her beauty which he never did before. She couldn't believe that he was so much smitten by her in their first meeting itself where he had scared the life out of her. She could feel his heart accelerating under her palms. Surprisingly, her heart was in sync to his hasty heartbeats.

Khushi, being in the fashion industry for years, I'm always surrounded by beautiful women but nobody attracted me the way you did. I was angry on myself for feeling attracted towards you.

Moreover, it was the Sheeshmahal where our not so good first meet happened. The place which has witnessed some very good, some happy, some miserable, some tragic incidents which occured in my family.

Khushi frowned in confusion which he cleared further.

The place where I lost my mother because my father cheated on her with some other woman. My mother couldn't bear the betrayal from the man whom she loved with all her heart, body & soul so she committed suicide & then my  bigamous father followed suit, not able to face his children & society.

Khushi gasped loudly widening her eyes not able to beleive what she heard. Her heart contorted in pain for that Chhote who had to witness his parents' terrible death at such a tender age.

It was the day of my dii's marriage which broke due to the tragedies & then our chacha, too, showed his true colours by abondoning me & my dii, throwing us out from our own house to die on streets without food or money.

His face blanched remembering those miserable days.

Fortunately, nani & mama got the news & they came & took us with them & saved us from starving to death.

Khushi could feel his pain he must have suffered in the hands of fate & his own people. She tried hard to keep her tears from filling her eyes but they found their way rolling down her cheeks.

It took us months to come out of the shocks we had received. Dii was vulnerable for long but I couldn't afford it as I had to take on my dii's & my responsibility from that tender age as my experiences had taught me not to rely on anybody, be it your chacha or your mama. So, from there, the journey of loving, caring & innocent Arnav to ruthless, arrogant & egoistic ASR took place, for whom love never existed in this world. It was just a mere ploy to capture a man's weakness by a preety face in the name of love & then ruin his peace, harmony, family & his wealth then to leave him & his family crying over behind, just like it happened with my dii & me, due to my father's weakness.

Now she was able to understand him as she was looking through his point of view. Indeed experiences play a bigger role in making or destroying a person's life. The same happened with her Arnavji. The terribly bitter experiences made him prejudiced towards other people other then his family.

So, when you mentioned about dii's wedding getting cancelled just like your jiji's, it struck the wrong chord in me & I manhandled you or say any woman for the first time.

He was feeling disgusted for doing such horrible deed with her.

But that was not all. After that, all I could do was think of you all the time. Your scared yet captivating eyes kept on haunting me. Your thoughts had occupied my mind & heart. I got distracted from my work too.

Then came the Dargah meet. The more I tried to push you, the more you appeared infront of me. I was was happy & angry both, to see you there. My heart & mind were at loggerheads. Again, you striked back to me with your words which again, provoked me so I decided to punish you by airing that clip with a dirty commentry without thinking that it would jeopardize your self respect & dignity. All I wanted to do was dampen your spirits & make sure you never come anywhere around me, again.

She looked at his penitant face for a moment and then averted her eyes remembering the humiliation.

He forwarded his hand & made her look at him back, holding her chin. The pair of teary eyes locked with the mixed emotions of guilt, remorse & pain.

He again held her hands in a tight grip on her lap.

Then, I returned back to Delhi to my family, to my work but your thoughts, too, returned with me to my displeasure yet pleasure. I couldn't feel peace anywhere I went. Neither at home nor at work. Before that, nothing or nobody had succeded in distracting me from my work. I suffered sleepless nights, loss of appetite, no attention in my work, just because of you & your thoughts, Khushi. I was trying my level best to flush you out of my system. But, remained unsuccessful. It was like I was fighting a battle with my heart & my mind. My heart wanted to see you, have a glimpse of you. But, my mind wanted to push even your thoughts out of my head.

Khushi was feeling a different kind of happiness hearing of his intense feelings for her.

I couldn't believe that it was you who rammed her scooter with my car. Seeing you after days, a layer of satisfaction covered my heart. Again, the attraction for you came to the fore with full force & with that came my helplessness for days due to you & your thoughts. But, I can't let you rule my heart & mind again. So, I insulted you amidst the crowd & demanded lumpsome amount for a mere scratch on my car thinking that you won't be able to pay. Hence, you won't dare to come infront of me, again.

But, the stubborn Khushi you were, you turned up to my office. I tried my best to send you away by using contract, by making your life miserable, by throwing challenges at you. But, everytime you retaliated with full force defeating me, spectacularly.

I wanted to be too hard & harsh on you. Wanted to scare you to the wits so that you accept defeat & leave my office without looking back. Therefore, I left your hand & let you fall from the first floor, just to scare you. But, do you really think that I literally left you to get hurt in any sense??

He asked her. The answer was written on her face that yes, she did. So, he didn't bother to hear it from her mouth.

No, Khushi. I was aware of the empty boxes kept on the groundfloor & knew that even if I drop you, you won't get even a scratch on your body, getting handicap was out of question. So in order to scare you I dropped you which was actually a heinous crime but I couldn't stop myself from doing it.

Khushi's eyes rounded in surprise to this revelation.

But, that drop, too, didn't let you drop the idea of continuing your job in my company. Neither it scared you the way I wanted nor it dampened your spirits.

Her eyes shone with pride hearing that. Yes, she didn't accept defeat & fought him back with all her might.

So, I thought to punish you again by ordering you to wear tiny, cheap clothes for the photoshoot as I knew you won't accept it & finally I would win. But again, you defeated me by wearing that crimson saree, looking more beautiful then already you were, again enchanting me with your charms to which I literally got stumped & stood rooted drinking your beauty for don't know how long.

Khushi's face adorned the same crimson hue matching to the colour of the saree she had wore that day. She averted her eyes in shyness.

Arnav dropped feathery kisses on her hands.

Believe me Khushi, you were looking like an angel in red created for me & make me go weak on my knees. So, you had to be punished for again evoking such feelings in me. That's why, I ordered you to handle the car parking that night amidst the heavy rains. But when I saw you drenching in rain, shivering badly due to cold & wetness yet you kept doing your work with full concentration without an ounce of relentness, something akin to guilt stirred my insides. I, at once wanted to take you in the warmth of my embrace & when I saw that car speeding towards you I felt my life skipping out of my hands & I ran towards you to save you from getting hit by the car. The moment you were in my arms my life felt at ease.

She could relate to his feelings then because in his embrace she had felt the same ease inside her drenched form.

Same thing happened when I sent you to that dilapidated building, Khushi.

Believe me, Khushi, I had no idea about that building's condition. Otherwise, I would have never sent you there. I was failing to push you out of my company, so, I thought to push you away from me atleast for a day. But when I found out about the building's condition & it might collapse any minute, my heart came into my mouth & my breath struck somewhere in the region of my throat leaving me breatless until I find you hale & hearty & when I found you unharmed, I could take a sigh of relief. Then, after pouring your anger on me when you fainted in my arms I felt like I was carrying my life in my arms. I could stare at your beautiful face to my hearts content. I felt like abducting you & taking you to our own seperate world where only both of us would exist. Your proximity was provoking & I couldn't afford it. So, half heartedly, I took you to your house & left you under your buaji's & jiji's care. But, you know Khushi, even in your unconscious state you were not ready to leave me gripping my shirt lapels into your tight fist. Reluctantly, I had to leave you & go.

Khushi's eyes & mouth resembled saucers. She felt like the cat who got caught stealing the milk & Arnav couldn't help but smile nodding his head a bit in confirmation.

Then, when you resigned from the job showing me the mirror, I was angry, upset, sad, annoyed when I should feel happy, afterall, what I wanted was happening; you going away from me for ever. But, I wasn't able to digest that fact. I wanted to stop you from leaving me. The only respite I had to see you was in the office & that also you snatched away from me & the other day when you came to collect your belongings from my office & we got locked in the store room, I tried my best to talk to you. May be not apologize but atleast keep my point of not knowing the serious condition of the guest house building. I couldn't bear you blaming me of risking your life intentionally. But, you didn't give me a single chance to justify myself. Infact, you pulled the ground beneath my feet by telling me that you are going back to Lucknow with your family, forever, leaving me behind to rot in my self made hell. I wanted to run behind you, to stop you, to keep you with me forever but ASR's ego couldn't let me do it, even if it was my only lifeline.

Khushi could understand his feelings as she herself had went through the same. She wanted to leave Delhi & go back to Lucknow. But at the same time, she wanted to stay there for God knows what reasons which she didn't understand then but was very well aware now.

I was in illusion that you have left to Lucknow for ever but we again met in the temple on teej & when I unintentionally & unknowingly broke your fast to get you conscious, you were angry on me for breaking your fast which was actually your future husband's rights. Fury as never before ran into my nerves for that non existant husband of yours but also was satisfied with myself for breaking your fast. But, again it didn't sit well with me as I felt you were not as affected as I was. So, when I saw shock & distress over your face when I broke Lavanya's fast on her insistence I felt tremendous happiness; stinging one though.

Khushi got reminded of the uneasiness, out of breath feeling which was very much akin to jeolousy when she saw him breaking Lavanya's fast.

She pulled her hands roughly from his grip & sat back on the bed, pressing her legs to her chest tight with her hands.

Arnav gulped hard realising her pain as he himself had faced it with NK around them.

He stood up from the floor & sat on the bed closest to her as much as possible.

She raised her face towards him. Tears making their way down her alabaster cheeks.

He wiped them with his thumb pad & kissed her forehead lovingly.

I'm so sorry Khushi for taking advantage of your vulnerability, time & again. But, that time, I didn't understand anything beyond my ego & the only motto of my life was to push you away & if I couldn't do it, then punish you in any which way possible.

Khushi nodded slowly trying to understand his inner turmoil then.

Thereafter, again our fates had to cross each others' paths & you landed in my house on my dii's anniversary party. I was in the same dillema of feeling glad & furious at the same time seeing you in my house. Then, you can't even imagine my helplessness when I discovered that you were brought to train Lavanya; my supposed would be fiance. I felt something breaking within me thinking that it doesn't matter to you that I am going to get engaged to some other girl when I myself was feeling aweful for taking that decision & you were happily available to train the other girl to become worthy of my fiance & a Raizada daughter in law. So, I did the best I could do that time. Insult you, taunt you, torchure you, stand against you at each step, just to cover my feelings for you & make you regret of taking the job of my supposed fiance's trainer.

He felt wretched for the hurtful words he had thrown at her & called her names, innumerable times. If only, he could kick himself for being such a jerk. He continued looking into her eyes which reflected the same painful emotions as his.

But, everytime you succeded in having your way with me, making me do whatever you & my family wanted me to do. Made me participate in all poojas & aartis, made me do petty jobs like changing the bulbs, checking the wiring etc which I was happy to do on your insistence Khushi; although I pretended to be annoyed. I started staying at home under the pretext of working from home, just to stay close to you. My sleep, my work, my appetite, my breathing, my entire existence felt depended on you & only you.

He cupped her face with his hands & kissed her eyes & cheeks one by one conveying his own dependency on her being.

Khushi was loving the feel of his rough yet warm lips against her smooth skin. Her heart was feeling at peace after a long time knowing that she was equally important to him even when they were at loggerheads.

Khushi, your flawless beauty inside out, your heart warming laughter, your childish antics, your innocence, your undieing spirit, all these had easily penetrated my defenses affirming me that, what I felt for you was not mere attraction but, had gone far ahead and that, scared me to the roots.

He shifted more closer to her, almost sticking to her. Still scared, not because of her proximity as before, but, scared of loosing that proximity.

Then, came the night of Diwali. The best as well as the worst night of my life, our life. When, I had lost control on myself seeing you donning my favourite colour & looking extremely beautiful & I had almost kissed you.

She looked away. He cupped her face & made her look at him.

To be continued.....

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5000 words....

So guys this was Arnav pouring his heart. Still there's more of his confessions & apologies.

Do vote ⭐ & comment your views about this update.

A/n

Friends uptil now u all must have definitely seen the new awesomazing cover of this story which is made by none other then my sweet sissy Nishu @ninishta15

Isn't it just perfect👌👌for the story!!

Nishu no thanks because I know u won't like me thanking u so just love u 😘 😘 for making such fantabulously fantastic covers for my story whenever I demanded.

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Yes one more thing. I have decided to give an epilogue for EDKV.

Love
Kavita ❤️