jisung never knew that getting inside the campus was this hard. he thought he would be greeted by no one and would just see students minding their own businesses but boy was he wrong.

he should have at least expected this though.

❝you still have the audacity to show up in front of our faces?❞ a fuming renjun was what greeted jisung.

lucky for him, renjun was held back by both jaemin and jeno. meanwhile, donghyuck still had his composure and if he ever snaps, mark is always there to bring him back to being sane. the two also wanted to hurt jisung, both jeno and mark, but they decided to stay calm for the sake of their boyfriends. also, they know everything has a reason. jisung has a reason why he did it and both jeno and mark hopes that it's an acceptable one.

❝renjun, stop.❞ jaemin clicked his tongue at renjun who's still using every bit of his energy and struggled to have his hands on jisung. ❝stop!❞

all of them flinched at jaemin who suddenly shouted. jisung hid himself behind jaemin with everyone's eyes on them. jisung was just glad that it's only renjun that's making a move and not all of them, especially donghyuck. sure, mark can control his boyfriend but it can get out of hand sometimes.

renjun eventually stopped when he heard jaemin raising his voice. he couldn't believe him, how dare he side with a rapist? ❝do you even know what you are doing?❞

even jeno wanted to ask that.

❝do you think i'll do this if i don't know?❞ jaemin sighed, loosening his grip on the chinese's shoulder. ❝trust me, renjun.❞

❝i trust you.❞ renjun said and then had his eyes on jisung. ❝i just don't trust him.❞

❝but i do.❞ jaemin took a step back away from them and then held jisung's hand, still standing in front of him to protect him from their friends. ❝he's my cousin. it's okay, i don't ask you all to trust him. i just ask you all to leave him alone.❞

❝after all he has done to chen—❞

mark closed his eyes and had already expected for donghyuck to slowly snap. he then held his boyfriend's hand and gripped it tight as a warning. renjun shouting at the two had already caused a lot of attention, he didn't want donghyuck to join and start a fight.

❝he's planning to fix it.❞ jaemin said, passing by them with jisung tagging behind him. ❝just let him do this. give my cousin a chance.❞

❝jaemin.❞ renjun turned to face jaemin with a look on. jisung at the back watching gulped thinking that they might quarrel because of him. but instead of seeing a verbal fight from the two, renjun sighed and looked away. ❝we need to talk later.❞

jeno nodded his head and then threw his body towards jaemin, hugging the younger very tight. at least his hugs composed jaemin down before he snaps again. ❝i hope you really know what you are doing.❞

giving him a smile, jaemin placed a soft peck on jeno's lips. ❝trust me.❞

❝just like renjun, i trust you.❞ jeno said with a blinding smile but as he turned to look at jisung, jaemin could see how that famous smile of his disappear.

and just like renjun, jeno doesn't trust jisung. jaemin could clearly see that and can only heave out a deep sigh.

❝it's okay.❞ jaemin said, taking jeno's arms that's wrapped around his waist and waved his own hands at them. ❝we'll get going!❞

and that how jisung's morning started. he somehow right with his feeling, he knew this wasn't the right time yet. look, even he is ruining jaemin's relationship with the two. he knew it was better off with him being thrown at a jail but no, jaemin didn't want to do that. and if he turns to chenle, the chinese also doesn't want to do that.

are they prolonging his suffering?

❝i'm very sorry.❞ jisung mumbled out as they got inside their building.

jaemin raised his brows as he leaned closer to the younger to hear him much more clearer. ❝what?❞

jisung stopped by in the middle of the hallways, making jaemin do so too, and faced his cousin with that guilty look of his. ❝you three are not in good terms because of me, especially you and renjun.❞

❝i can handle it jisung. you don't have to apologize.❞ jaemin said with a wide smile for jisung not to feel any more guilt. he had felt enough. jaemin just wants for him to stop feeling guilt because it had come to the point where the male wants himself dead because of everything he had caused.

❝if i just surrender myself to the police, will everything be back to normal again?❞ from looking down, jisung raised his head and forced out a smile. ❝will you, renjun, and jeno be back to being all loving? will donghyuck and mark stop worrying about this situation?❞

and jisung is back at it again. honestly, if this keeps up then maybe jaemin will have to really throw him to jail since that's what jisung badly wants. but then again, everyone deserves a second chance. and knowing this cousin of his, jisung deserves a chance to fix everything. he is park jisung, jaemin knows that jisung is going to fix this. he has faith and trusts him.

but seems like jisung can't even trust himself.

❝will..❞ jisung bit his lower lip when he could feel himself crying again. ❝will chenle be happy without me?❞

❝hey will you look at the time!❞ jaemin had to change the topic quick before jisung will start blaming himself again. sure, this is his fault but jaemin just hates how he always blames himself for something he didn't purposely do. ❝you don't want to get late in mr. lee's class, do you?❞

❝will i go to jail if i do get late?❞

jaemin rolled his eyes and turned jisung around, pushing him towards the staircase up to where his class leads to. ❝no, you'll be sent to detention.❞

❝i deserve more.❞ jisung then took a step forward up to the stairs. ❝i deserve to be put to jail.❞

❝listen here you fucking idiot.❞ jaemin took steps up and stood in front of the sad male, cupping his face and making him look up straight at him. ❝are you chickening out right now? are you just going to let go of chenle just like that? after all that butterflies inside your stomach, after all you fast heartbeats when being together, after all the fuzzy feeling whenever you two kiss, after all you two have been through, are you just going to let it go just like that?❞

then, it'd be a waste. thinking about it, jisung didn't want to let go just like that. ❝no.❞

❝then you will— no, we will fix this okay? i'll help you, i'll be here for you. you don't have to worry, okay?❞ jaemin couldn't believe he'll be doing this but he gathered up his guts to give jisung a comforting kiss on his forehead.

it's been so long since he last gave him a kiss on the forehead for comfort and seeing how jisung calmed down after receiving it, jaemin doesn't feel all disgusted anymore. jisung being sane is all that matters for the moment.

❝promise me you'll survive the day.❞ jisung was worried that he had to separate with the younger. the only times he will get to meet him will be during break times and lunch breaks.

❝i will.❞

❝that's the spirit!❞ jaemin patted the younger male and then drag him up the staircase since it looked like he wasn't moving any seconds from now. ❝let's go before you really get to detention.❞

before the bell rang for the class, jisung was walking down the hallways after being dropped off by jaemin and definitely felt weird. everyone wasn't giving him looks (of course, they don't know what happened) unlike how his friends greeted him when he got inside the campus with jaemin. it felt weird that he wasn't receiving the treatment he deserves to have. everyone was minding their own business but not like jisung was complaining. it's just that, everything felt so wrong.

after for what felt like years of walking down the hallways with some greeting him a good morning and some asking where he has been these past few days, jisung had finally reached to his classroom and stood there with a lot of thoughts running inside his head.

should he attend the class?

would chenle like it? of course not.

what if chenle will go to him and give him a tight hug? he won't.

is chenle going to ask plenty of questions about his whereabouts? please, he probably isn't worried of his absence.

❝excuse me, are you opening the door or not?❞ jisung got back to his senses after hearing a voice and as he turned to the side, he saw his same old classmate. ❝oh hey jisung! finally got better from the fever?❞

pulling out a smile, jisung nodded his head and let the person open the door for him. they get got inside and all jisung could say was; everything is a mess. other's playing and running around, others sleeping so loudly, and a group were circling at a familiar corner.

it was where chenle's seat was located.

standing thwre frozen, jisung kept on looking at their direction until one moved away and gave jisung a chance to see someone he had been missing these past few days. but thwre wasn't a smile on his face, instead it was a frown. jisung didn't like that look on face, may he be the one causing it or other people. he didn't want to see chenle frowning ans being sad.

this is why he approached them to see what's up.

❝why are you so silent?❞ the guy crouching down next to chenle said as he lifted the boy's chin up since he was looking down. ❝are you afraid to vomit once you open that mouth of yours?❞

the guys and also some girls that's sitting close to chenle's seat giggled at what he said. meanwhile, chenle was holding back his urge to punch this person. honestly, he wanted to lose control and just hurt them. he can fight, he can punch, and he even has the money to hurt someone. but, he just decided not to. this is already enough for him, he didn't want to get in trouble.

❝look, he's going to cry guys!❞ one said will full excitement.

a book slammed down to a desk with a very loud thud was enough for all of them to shut their mouths. even those who were sleeping woke up at the sound. they all diverted their eyes to the source and gulped at the sight of jisung glaring at each one with his eyes throwing fireballs at them.

❝are you done having fun?❞ jisung harshly dragged his chair out and made sure to drop i down the ground to make another loud sound that startled everyone again. ❝can you now get out of my fucking sight? what an eyesore.❞

that voice and that attitude. chenle knew it too well that he didn't even have to look up to see who is that person. he didn't want to admit it, he knew he shouldn't feel like this, it was wrong to feel like this.

but he can't help but miss him.

❝s-sorry jisung.❞ they then scrambled away, bumping each other in the process, and went to their seats with some going out of the room and going back to their respective rooms.

everyone was now then settled inside the room and it was surprising to see them look all behaved without the teacher around. they were afraid to move nor make a sound, jisung might shout and get mad at them. they didn't want to have a taste of jisung's wrath.

chenle badly wanted to hug him and thank him, but he shouldn't.

chenle had the need to ask how he has been and if he is doing well but chenle knows that he shouldn't.

he has to hate jisung.

❝a-are you o-okay?❞ but jisung had to just talk to him and made things a hundred times harder.

surprisingly, chenle managed to scoff at that question and look like he didn't need the younger's help. ❝i'm fine.❞

but in all honesty, chenle wasn't fine. not because of how jisung ruined him badly, not because of how people was treating him, not because of the trouble he now going through, and definitely not because jisung is finally here sitting right next to him.

chenle wasn't fine because he had to hate jisung.

when he can't.

because he loves him.

he loves jisung so much to even hate him for everything he had done wrong.

❝okay class settle down and—❞ the teacher finally came inside the room and blinked after seeing everyone at their seats and being all well behaved. ❝oh.❞

⚊ t b c ⚊