BACK AT ONE written by hannanusman
BTS ONE-SHOT COMPILATION
[A Kim Seokjin One-shot]
[FOREVER SERIES]
© 2018 CT All Rights Reserve
Fan Fiction/ Teen Fiction

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Do not distribute, publish, transmit, modify, display or create derivative works from or exploit the contents of this story in any way. Please obtain permission.

Finished: March 11, 2018 (honestly wrote this first than the third entry)
Published: May 5, 2018

Hi, biiasuncion lokaret para sa'yo ito! Took a while to post this, I know! Miss na kita! Stay strong sa inyo ni Seokjin Mr. Worldwide handsome!

- Hannan ♥

The fourth installment of Forever Series

*



That even if given a lot of better choices, I'd still find myself coming back to you and wanting you even though we'd have to back at one.

At first, he was just that someone who I had phenomenally bumped into while carelessly playing at the playground. He was a cute, tall and very adorable boy to whom I had first felt the flying butterflies in my stomach at first sight. He literally just made those scenes in movies and books my reality.

He still was though…

"Here, let me help you…"

I stared at his little hand stretch for me to reach. My young and innocent mind decided to accept his help so I raised my tinier hand and gently reach for his.

"There, I'm sorry. Anyway, I'm Jin…" His cute voice lingered within my eardrums. I blinked when he smiled just as I felt my young and innocent heart flutter for his handsome and shining handsome face.

Second, he was just that someone who always picked at me and made me cry but at the same time, he was that someone I had always ran into every time I was crying. He was my worldwide handsome hero slash beautiful best of a friend.

He still was though…

"Ssh, tumigil ka na, Heighlen. Walang puwedeng magpa-iyak sa'yo kung hindi ako lang! Sino ba iyon, at bubugbugin ko?!"

Suminok ako habang pinagmamasdan siyang nanggagalaiti sa galit dahil naabutan niya akong umiiyak sa labas ng classroom namin habang yakap-yakap ko ang mga notebooks ko. Nakasabit sa likod niya ang backpack niya at narito siya malamang para sunduin na ako.

"We were supposed to… to clean the room but they all left me alone. Jin, I'm s-scared…" Naiyak akong lalo dahil nandito na siya at nakahanap ako ng matatakbuhan at mapagsusumbungan. Natatakot akong pumasok sa loob ng room dahil baka may mga ghosts. I even overheard my guy classmates talking about ghosts earlier.

"Ssh, let's go in. I'll help you, hm?"

And that was just one of the many instances when he came to save my hopeless self. He had grown, no doubt, into a very thoughtful and awesome man.

At third, he had become that someone who I had always wanted to spend the rest of the day with, he had become that someone I had first felt my feet being swept off the floor, my first love and my very first romance.

He still was though…

"Why are you getting mad? Tinanggap ko lang naman iyong pagkaing binigay sa akin ni Ivy. Can't you be a little more precise? Sabihin mo sa akin kung ano talaga ang ikinagagalit mo, Heighlen," gulong tanong niya na nagawa pang sabunutan ang sarili. His face was a reflection of both frustration and confusion.

"Basta! Basta! I don't want you accepting stuff from that girl! Bakit ba kasi napakapatay-gutom mo?!" inis kong sabi habang pumapadyak pa dahil alam ko kung anong kinakagalit ko at alam ko kung bakit ako nagkakaganito pero hindi ko masabi sa kaniya.

He might push me away and I might lose him.

"You're being too senseless, wala namang masama—"

"Meron, meron, okay?! Ayaw ko! Why can't you get it?! Nagseselos ako sa mga babaeng nagpapapansin at lumalapit sa'yo!"

Our eyes both widened in surprise as what I said both sank in our lagging minds. I just unexpectedly broke my feelings to him.

And yes, maybe, at some point, at fourth, he had become my first shed of tears, he had become my first heartbreak and my first downfall, but then, that was how it always was 'cause I loved him.

And he still was…

"Tita, please, let me talk to her…"

Nagsumiksik pa akong lalo sa likod ng pinto ng kuwarto ko habang mas niyayakap ng mahigpit ang mga binti ko nang marinig ko ang nagsusumamong boses ni Jin sa labas at kausap si Mommy. I hiccuped once again due to the nonstop crying…

"Hijo, hayaan mo muna siguro ang anak ko, hm. You see, it isn't really nice for me to see her cry. Baka naman kailangan niya muna ng space…" I heard my mother's sad voice. I knew she was upset 'cause I went home crying. I saw Jin hugging Ivy and that wasn't a thing I should be glad about.

Alam niyang may gusto sa kaniya ang babaeng iyon at higit sa lahat, pinagseselosan ko iyon.

"Tita, you know, hurting Heighlen is far from my obligations and responsibilities. Hinding-hindi ko siya sasaktan… I love your daughter more than anyone in this world…"

And just then I had come to realize, he was a man who was worth all the tears, the pain and the effort. He was for keeps—

"What are you doing?"

Singbilis ng kidlat akong napabangon sa pagkakadapa sa kama at mabilis na isinara ang notebook ko nang marinig ko ang malalim ngunit malamig niyang boses na iyon. His voice didn't change through the years, or maybe because we were together while growing up so I didn't notice.

I hugged the notebook tightly to my chest and held my pen in my fist as I found him standing at the doorway of our room's door, looking so awesomely cute with his pink floral apron and a spatula in hand. Kunot ang noong nakatitig siya sa bandang dibdib ko habang nanunulis ang mga labi at magkasalubong ang pares ng mga makakapal at itim na itim na mga kilay.

I pursed my lips so hard to suppress myself from bursting in laughter as I saw his cropped bangs, I remembered, pinaglaruan niya iyon at ginupitan dahil lang sa napaka-weird niyang pag-iisip. Pinagalitan ko pa siya dahil ang kitchen knife ang ginamit niyang panggupit.

What if it scathed him? And who would cut their bangs like that?! Siya lang… only Seokjin Kim.

His almond shaped small eyes were now shaded with malice while still staring at where they had been while his full crimson lips were stretching into a sly grin.

I thought I knew this, so my forehead slowly creased in both embarrassment and annoyance.

"Seokjin!" I screamed at him at the top of my lungs as I threw my pen to his direction but unfortunately, it didn't hit him. Napatalon siya sa gulat na naging sanhi para mabitawan niya ang hawak niyang spatula. "You were staring at my chest, Jin!" inis kong dagdag.

Yumuko siya para pulutin ang nalaglag na spatula bago siya maglakad patungo sa kamang kinaroroonan ko. Mas hinigpitan ko ang pagyakap sa notebook ko sa takot na baka makita niya ito at hindi puwede iyon! Hindi pa ito tapos! Writing a diary wasn't my thing, but writing stories was!

Para sa kaniya itong ginagawa ko…

"What are you doing here? You should be in the kitchen and cooking! Seokjin!" natatarantang singhal ko sa kaniya habang umuurong paatras sa headboard dahil gumagapang na siya paakyat ng kama.  He was on fours on top of the edge of the bed. "Jin!" I cried out which he just laughed off.

"I need you in the kitchen, misis. I'm almost done," nakangusong sabi niya sa malambing na tinig habang dahan-dahang lumalapit pa rin sa akin.

"Alam mong wala akong alam sa kusina, Ji—"

"Just taste 'em, hm?" He hummed nearer to my face that made me gasp in surprise. Sobrang lapit ng mukha niya sa akin at kaunting galaw na ang ay magdidikit na ang mga mukha namin.

My heart beat rapidly for his handsome face in this nearest proximity was still the weakness of heart. Siya lang naman ang parating nagiging dahilan ng bawat pagbilis at pagtigil ng pagtibok nito. He would just kiss me and my heart would go in an incredible and unbelievable halt. He would just smile at me and my heart would beat erratically and irregularly out of control.

So heart leaping he always made me. At hindi ko alam kung masasanay pa ba ako…

"O-Oo na! Alis n-na!" I threw my head back as I lift my leg to kick him far from me and off the bed, my sole softly hit his broad chest. Natatawang hinuli niya ang binti ko sabay hawak sa isa ko pang binti bago niya ako buong lakas na hinila palapit sa kaniya.

My eyes widened in surprise as I slid swiftly and easily below him because of that. Nabitawan ko rin ang notebook kong yakap-yakap ko. He should take note that I was weightless and he didn't need to pull me hard. Pumaibabaw siya sa akin at natatawang idinagan sa akin ang mabigat niyang katawan.

Seokjin had a large frame, with his tall and firm body plus broad and wide shoulders, he could really easily crash me right here, right now.

Pumagitan siya sa mga binti kong iniyayakap na niya sa baywang niya habang damang-dama ko ang bigat ng katawan niya sa akin. He was actually pinning my body down. Shocks, what about our…?

"Jin! Ano ba?!" I wriggled below him to free myself from his huge body but to no avail, I was just of a petite and small girl. Nagagawa nga niya akong bitbitin ng walang kahira-hirap e.

"You slept too early last night…" he whispered right in front of my face that I could already sniff his cold and menthol breath. Sobrang hina ng boses niya ngunit punong-puno ng malisya.

Ang buwisit, may balak pa yatang gawin sa akin ngayong tanghali na!

"Dahil antok na antok na ako! Umalis ka nga riyan, iyong niluluto mo!" I screamed at him still trying my best to get him off me.

"Yah, what about your wife duty, misis? Ilang gabi na akong tiga—" Mabilis kong itinapal sa bibig niya ang dalawang palad ko pero hindi ko naman masyadong idinidiin, I just put my palms on his mouth to stop him.

"Oh, no, no! Don't even!" pasigaw na sabi ko saka sunod-sunod na umiling. Masyado siyang manyak sa kainit-initan ng panahon sa labas tapos hindi pa nakatulong na nalalanghap ko hindi lang ang mabangong singaw ng bibig niya kung hindi ang mismong natural niyang amoy.

He was a mixture of vanilla and menthol. And it was tempting!

"Heighlen…" He pouted with his blinking eyes and his pleading tone.

Oh no, you don't do that Seokjin when you're on top of me and I'm just barely holding myself from kissing you! Tease!

Noong kinasal kami ay sumumpa akong sasamahan ko siya sa hirap at ginahawa, yes, sa sakit at sarap. Sa lahat. Pero walang nagsabi sa akin na hanggang ngayon ay pahihirapan pa rin ako ng kaguwapuhan niyang taglay na hanggang ngayon ay talaga namang inaakit pa rin ako.

I was always having a battle within myself when it came to him! At hindi madali iyon! Mahirap, tulad ng mga sitwasyong ganito. Gustong-gusto ko siyang pagbigyan syempre pero hindi ako puwedeng magpadala sa kalandian niya.

"Seokjin, you don't want what you're cooking to get burned, right?" sabi ko sa kaniya sa hirap na hirap na tinig. Kung alam lang siguro niya na mahirap siyang tanggihan…

Natigilan siya sa ibabaw ko at napatitig sa kawalan. Mayamaya lang ay mabilis siyang bumangon saka dinampot ang spatula sa gilid. He looked like someone who literally forgot something… he really did!

"Oh right, misis! I need you, hm…?" He smoothly caressed his nose to my cheeks. "But I need you more in the kitchen now. This comes first dahil ayaw ko namang magutom si baby," aniya saka muli akong niyuko para abutin ang baywang ko at kargahin ako na para bang hindi niya alintana ang bigat ko.

Yes, 'cause honestly, he always scolded me for being so skinny and weightless.

"Seokjin!" Mabilis na pumalibot sa leeg niya ang mga braso ko para kumapit dahil kahit naman alam ko sa sarili kong bukod sa hindi niya ako hahayaang mahulog ay masyadong matitibay ang mga braso niyang nakahawak sa akin, natatakot pa rin ako, hindi para sa sarili ko kung hindi para sa baby namin. 'Cause my body wasn't only mine now, I already had someone inside me that I needed to protect more than everything…

"You don't need to carry me, I can probably walk on my own?!" I told him while he was walking out of our room. Inayos niya ang pagkakakarga sa akin nang makarating kami sa hagdanan kaya mas napakapit ako sa kaniya at ang mukha ko ay nakasubsob na sa leeg niya.

"Better, misis…" He giggled that made me mentally face palm. He had ways though he wasn't telling me about it. That was Seokjin Kim… he always got what he wanted and I was not an exception.

He was just rooting for a baby before, and look what we got here in my stomach now, it was either his little version or my little version.

Isang taon na kaming mag-asawa at ngayon pa lang kami biniyayaan. I couldn't actually ask for more 'cause he was all enough for me but what he gave me… I think, I could say, Jin and our baby were all enough for me.

Maybe I could add one more number to my journal.

At fifth, he became that someone who gave me more than I could hope for, someone who showed me that life was better with him. And he still was…

"Mister, alam kong magaling kang magluto, damn it, I love foods you cook for me but you can't send this house to flame just because you've been very reckle—" Napahinto ako nang mabilis na dumampi sa mga labi ko ang mga labi niya at parang walang nangyaring nagpatuloy siya sa paglalakad papasok na ngayon sa kusina. "Jin naman!" pagmamaktol kong muli dahil nandiyan na naman siya sa ugali niyang iyon.

I felt like he didn't take me, all that I said, seriously. Para bang wala lang ang mga iyon sa kaniya. The last time I blasted my mind at him, I was talking about his clothes always scattered around our bedroom that he was just so lazy to fix. Aniya ay nariyan naman ang mga maids para ayusin ang mga iyon.

Oh yes, but not his boxers! I couldn't let those maids have the privilege of seeing what was only mine to see. He was just too careless and tactless!

I wriggled in his arms to show him my protest at what he did.

"Oh, careful there, misis. Nasa kusina na tayo, and I wouldn't do something stupid like that, Heighlen. Baka nakakalimutan mong Worldwide Handsome ang asawa mo…" He playfully told me as we crossed the passway of the kitchen. Nagusot ang mukha ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Impluwensya ito ng mga kaibigan niya e. I should blame Namjoon for installing such idea into Jin's mind.

Si Namjoon kasi ang nagbigay ng nickname na iyon noong mga college pa lang kami and the freak did really use it good.

Marahang ibinaba niya ako sa tapat ng counter na puno ng kung anu-anong mga kagamitan sa pagluluto na hindi ko na gugustuhin pang alamin dahil wala naman akong interes sa pagluluto.

It was actually very lucky for me that I had got a very good cook husband in a form of my worldwide handsome—he really was though, couldn't argue—husband.

Nanunuot sa ilong ko ang amoy ng paborito kong luto ng Chicken Curry. Alam na alam talaga niyang gustong-gusto ko ang luto niya lalo na at matagal na niya akong hindi nilulutuan ng ganoon dahil hindi makakabuti sa akin ang ibang pagkain. Madalas kasi ay ang mga prescribed foods ng OB ko lang ang kinakain ko dahil maselan ang pagbubuntis ko.

"Walang konek ang pagiging worldwide handsome mo sa galing mong magluto!" singhal ko sa kaniyang bahagya siyang nilingon dahil nasa likod ko siya.

"But hey, you didn't contradict!" he pinpointed. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang magpaikot na lang ng mga mata dahil sa sobrang vain niya.

He was actually the type of guy who would always compliment his reflection on the mirror and I couldn't do something about that. Ganoon na siya mga bata pa lang kami. What was the point of arguing anyway? Totoo naman kasi.

Kahit noong mga nag-aaral pa kami ay parati siyang naboboto at nananalong escort sa kada election ng class officer, at makailang beses din siyang nakoronahan bilang Mr. Intramurals at title holder ng university na pinapasukan namin dahil sa taglay niyang kaguwapuhan.

I could even faintly remember being always jealous 'cause our schoolmates always throw him off his girl partners…

Like duh? They all knew we were together!

Alam ng lahat na boyfriend ko si Seokjin ngunit bumuo pa rin sila ng non-existent love story sa pagitan ni Seokjin at ng mga babaeng iyon na hindi naman maipagkakailang may gusto rin sa kaniya. And how could I forget Ivy?! That was why I had to stuck a tongue out at those who attended our wedding…

I had got the guy they all wanted for theirselves.

"Kaya misis, please take a seat and let me serve you, hm?" malambing niyang sabi saka banayad na idinampi ang mga labi niya sa gilid ng tainga ko bago siya umalis sa likod ko para magtungo sa kabilang dako ng counter. "Oh careful there, misis. You won't like what I'll do to that stool if you fall off…"

Dahan-dahan at maingat na sumampa ako sa mataas na stool dahil alam kong seryoso siya sa sinabi niya. The last time he warned me something like that, my house sleepers got burned at the backyard. Sinunog niya dahil lang natapilok ako habang suot iyon pababa ng hagdan.

Understand him, he was just too over-protective. Ni wala pa ngang tri-semester itong pinagbubuntis ko e, paano pa kaya kapag may belly bump na ako?  I could only imagine him going hysterical plus our stuff all getting burned… or thrown away.

Habang hinahanda niya ang niluto niya—luckily, hindi naman nasunog—ay mataman ko lang siyang pinapanood. I couldn't help but remember old times moments, madalas naming gawin ang ganito noon. He would bake me something we both live to eat and I would silently watch him do all the work… at katulad nang nangyayari noon, paulit-ulit pa rin akong humahanga sa galing niya sa kusina.

Not because he finished Culinary but ever since the world began, his passion for cooking was undeniable and very intimate.

Sa lahat ng mga taong may suot na apron—pink color at that, and floral—he was my favorite.

Sa lahat ng taong nakikita kong—not that I see a lot—masayang nagluluto sa kusina, my Seokjin was my most favorite.

He was just too precious in this world that I didn't probably know how I would do without him in this life. He was the most important and special person that happened to me.

"Mister…" mahina kong tawag sa kaniya gamit ang endearment na siya mismo ang nagsabing itawag ko sa kaniya at tatawagin naman niya akong 'misis'. I didn't argue anymore 'cause he would just throw me a tantrum, and we didn't want a Seokjin in tantrum, it would be a mess, very big mess.

"Yes misis?" Mula sa paglalapag ng mga plato sa countertop ay saglit siyang nag-angat ng tingin sa akin. I watched as he turned to the stove and switched it off. Naglakad siya patungo sa kabilang gilid ng stove kung nasaan ang isang caserola ng kung anong pagkain. He went back to the countertop where I was and put the casserole that had a white rice.

"Would you mind if our baby is a girl?" I asked him since he had been bubbling at me about wanting to have a little version of him.

Natigilan siya mula sa pagbalik sa stove at bumaling sa akin. Would he get disappointed if we get a baby girl instead of a baby boy?

I was actually fine with both but I didn't want to disappoint him. Gusto kong ibigay sa kaniya ang lahat, ang lahat kung puwede lang.

Tumikhim siya habang lumulunok saka umayos ng tayo. He anchored both of his hands on the countertop's edge while staring blandly at me. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang isipin na baka talagang baby boy lang ang gusto niya.

Dahan-dahan akong yumuko para iiwas ang mukha ko sa kaniya at itinoon na lang ang mga nanunubig kong mga mata sa mga kamay kong nakapatong sa mga hita ko.

Yes, I so wanted to give him everything, but only in my capacity. Kasi kahit na gustuhin ko mang ibigay sa kaniya ang lahat, marami akong hindi kayang gawin. I couldn't even cook for him his favorite food. I couldn't even sing for him his favorite song. And all I could do was to love him without boundaries and limitations, without complications and implications.

I pressed my lips tightly to suppress them from quivering. My OB told me it was normal for pregnant women to easily get emotional, but in my case, I was always easy to get emotional. I was actually a soft-spoken ang very light-teared person, mabilis akong maapektuhan ng kahit na maliliit na bagay.

"B-But of course, we'll make sure it's a baby bo—Jin…" I uttered in utmost surprise when I felt a pair of strong yet warm arms hugging me from the back. Damang-dama ko sa likod ang malapad at matigas niyang dibdib habang nakasubsob sa batok ko ang mukha niya at kinikiliti ng mainit niyang hininga ang balat ko.

My heart went back to its normal pace—since it was always in frenzy because of him, it was beating erratically fast and out of control.

A light gasp escaped my lips when his arms went hugging me tightly. "Jin, what are… you doing?" I halted for I felt him drop a soft and quick kiss on the skin of my nape.

"Baby boy or baby girl, it doesn't matter. I will love the baby nevertheless 'cause it's our child, Heighlen…" he whispered through my nape.

"But you always tell me you want a baby boy—"

"Oh yes, misis I do, but it doesn't mean I don't like a baby girl. I'm always ready to have a princess I will protect and treasure so much like I treasure and protect you, misis. So don't think anything, hm? I will love our baby, no matter the gender is, okay? Hm, I love you, misis…"

I once asked myself, ever since I met him, ever since I got close to him, ever since I loved him more than I could love anyone in this world, was I willing to repeat everything if ever I would have to…?

The answer was all clear to me but before I answer that, I wanted to add up one last step in the process, in our love story.

At sixth, he had become, though there was still months left—I knew, he would become the best father just as much as he was the best husband that this world could have… he would, I was sure.

Ngayon pa lang ay pinatunayan na niya iyon.

And now, I was still counting. I would always count and take notes of our phenomenal times 'cause every moments, phenomenon and instances with him were all worth the keep.

And that even if asked of the repetition of everything, I wouldn't even think twice.

Yes, I would want to go back, repeat everything even though we would start back at one… for as long as I had him forever.

The End.
*
Property of Hannan Usman
All Rights Reserved 2018.