Jimin couldn't sleep. He was tired, his back ached but sleep still eluded him. He showered, shaved even had a glass of warm milk to help himself relax. He settled into bed and picked up the book he'd been reading from his night stand. A few chapters in, his eyes had started to droop.

A sharp cry catapulted him out of bed.

Sua! He thought as he ran to the door. He paused. Sua's room was a floor above his on the opposite side, there was no way he could hear her all the way here. But the voice had sounded close by. He was sure he had heard it and not imagined it. He opened the door and peered outside, to make sure she hadn't slipped down the stairs.

Everything was quiet in its stillness.

He walked back inside, still debating if he should go up and check on her anyway. She had been too distressed for the last few days.

He decided to wait a few minutes, straining his ears for another sound until soft cries mingled with moans and grunts, reached him. That's when he realised what he had heard. Jungkook's room was right next to his own. And that's where the sounds were coming from. The sounds, not of pain but pleasure. Jimin recoiled, pressing both his hands to his ears. No! He didn't want to hear this.

The fact that they were in his room and not her's meant she had willingly gone to him and that cut deeper than anything else.

The sounds continued to echo in his mind. He fumbled around in his drawers trying to locate his headphones. Once his fingers closed on them he hastily put them on playing the loudest kpop songs he knew, turning up the volume to drown out any sound. But the sounds still echoed through him. He considered getting out of the house for a while but he knew it would be of no use. He couldn't really hear them anymore, actually he hadn't really heard anything at all, not since the first few moments when he had been straining to listen to any sounds in the house.

These sounds, which were now echoing through his ears, were from his imagination and no matter how hard he ran, no matter how far, they would stay with him until he was driven mad.

This torture was unbearable. He curled up on his bed, pulling the pillow over his head and the music blasting through his headphones. His imagination ran wild, adding images to the sounds.

"Please stop!" He cried at himself.

Tears leaked out of the corner of his eyes as agony sliced through his heart. He remembered a beautiful healing song, one of the first Mrs. Kim had taught him.

He hummed the song to himself as he rocked back and forth, still tightly squeezing the pillow over his head.
The torture continued to ravage his mind until the long awaited sweet oblivion of a fitful sleep finally pulled him under.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook woke at midday. He yawned sleepily, stretching his limbs as he smiled in satisfaction. He reached across his bed, hoping to find her body snuggled by his side but found only a cold emptiness. He jerked his eyes open looking around the room.

Had she run away again? Disappointment, sharp and quick sliced through him.

He checked his watch it was almost 12 noon. Maybe she had woken up early and slipped out to make breakfast or to check on Tae, he reasoned.

He wouldn't let her run anymore. He hoped she didn't expect him to keep last night a secret. He intended to let his brothers know what had happened at the first opportunity. Let them know, that his intentions were pure and how his feelings towards her, had transformed last night.

He sighed happily, remembering how sweetly she had held on to him. He would have to apologise to her though. He had been an idiot and he had hurt her. But she had opened his heart and captured it with a smile. He sighed again as he slowly rolled off the bed. He couldn't wait to see her, look into the deep, bottomless pools of her blue eyes, taste the sweetness of her lips and tell her with words this time, how he truly felt.

As he stepped off the bed something soft touched his foot. He bent down to pick it up. Her robe. It was soft and pink and beautiful, just like her. He lifted it to his face and inhaled deeply. Her scent lingered on it, making him hard again. He lay the robe carefully down on the bed. He wouldn't return it to her, he decided. It would stay with him as a reminder of the most beautiful night of his life.

He showered and changed and then got to making his bed. They had left the sheets in tangles, he thought, smiling as he remembered how he had kicked them away trying to get to her.

When he lifted the blankets, he saw it, the tell-tale sign of her innocence. As if he had needed further proof of what a complete jerk he had been to her, two red spots of blood stood stark against the white sheets. Shaming him.

His chest constricted again. He should go find her, make sure she was okay.

He should have woken up earlier, made her breakfast, taken care of her, apologised to her and begged her to accept his sorry ass.

His heart sank.

Unbridled doubts suddenly erupted in his mind, what if she didn't want him anymore? Was that why she had run away from him?

What if she hadn't woken up with her feelings transformed, like he had?

Would she push him away again? Rejecting him once and for all.

What if his aggression had finally made her realise, that she would rather be with someone more gentle and caring? Like Jimin?

The thought got caught in his chest and pinched. He rubbed his chest trying to ease the pain.

He would fall to his knees and apologise if he had to but he would make her accept his feelings.

Anything less would be unbearable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook sauntered down to the kitchen an hour later, hoping to find Sua there but found a very haggard and tired looking Jimin, sitting at the island and sipping coffee.

"Yah! Did you sleep in too, today?" Jungkook asked him unable to hold back the wide grin on his face.

Jimin just glowered at him and continued to drink his coffee.

Jungkook stared at him for a moment and then shrugged, moving to get coffee for himself.
"Where's Sua? I thought she'd be here cooking or something."

Jimin gave him the stink eye again.

Jungkook frowned. "Well? Have you seen her?"

"No" Jimin snapped, getting off his chair and walking out of the kitchen.

Jungkook stared after him. He picked up his coffee and headed to the infirmary to check on Taehyung.

Taehyung was lying down, biting on his lower lip as Jin changed his bandages.

"Are you feeling any better today, hyung?" Jungkook asked him.

Tae nodded. "Still hurts like a bitch though"

Jungkook chuckled sipping on his coffee.

Jin rose from beside Tae "All done" He announced "I think I might have a sling somewhere, you can use. You don't need to stay here. You can move around now, just don't jostle the arm too much"

"Oh! Thank you, hyung" Tae said rising up.

Jin smiled "I should go get started on lunch. Sua's  probably going to lie in today as well. She's drained, that girl." Shaking his head.

"What do you mean?" Jungkook asked worriedly.

"She's probably made herself sick with all the crying" Jin replied shaking his head.

"She promised me she'd be here when I wake" Tae pouted.

"Maybe I'll go check on her" Jungkook muttered.

"Let her rest Jungkook-ah" Jin instructed "I doubt she would be happy to see you, right now"

Jungkook's heart stuttered. Had she said something to Jin hyung? She didn't want to see him?

Jin watched the pain flash through the maknae's eyes. "I just meant that you guys are not really on the best of terms and if she's upset or sick she might want comfort, you know?"

He could provide comfort. Maybe he hadn't been doing anything other than getting on her nerves but that had changed now. She didn't know that though. He backed away slightly nodding at Jin.

Jin lay a hand on his shoulder. "Don't be too hard on her Jungkook-ah. Give her chance, I'm sure she would win you over. She's a pure soul. We're lucky to have her here"

"Yeah we are. My Sua is the best girl in the world" Taehyung flashed his big boxy grin.

Jungkook tried to return their smiles. His heart was stuttering in his chest, skipping a few beats in between. He hoped she didn't hate him. He didn't need to give her a chance, she needed to give him one. And he would spend the rest of his life making it up to her.

"Help me up Jungkook-ah" Tae said extending his good arm to him.

Jungkook helped him sit up and get off the bed. Jin found him a sling he could wear around his neck to support his arm.

The three of them walked into the living room. Hobi was sitting on the sofa watching television.

"Oh you're back? When did you get back? I didn't see you come in" Hobi said looking at Jungkook.

Jungkook was confused. "Get back from where?" He asked.

"Didn't you go out this morning?" Hobi asked in confusion.

"No. I just woke up an hour ago." Jungkook answered.

"Oh! I noticed your car was gone this morning, when I went out for a walk. I thought you had left to run an errand or something."

Jungkook rushed to the kitchen window peering out into the parking lot. And sure enough his car was gone.

"What the hell?" He muttered, sprinting out of the screen door to check.

"Hey! You're home? Where's your car?" Namjoon asked him standing next to a mechanic who was tinkering Taehyung's car.

"I don't know. It's supposed to be right here" Jungkook mumbled looking around stupidly, hoping to find his car somewhere in the distance.

Tae, Hobi and Jin had followed him out.

"Maybe Jimin...." Tae started.

"No, I saw him in the kitchen before coming to the infirmary" Jungkook mused.

"Yoongi hyung?" Hobi asked.

All of them rushed to the studio,to check if he was there.

Yoongi was sitting at the desk writing something down. He looked up at them in annoyance as they burst through the door.

"Yah! What have I told you clowns about coming in here?" He scolded them.

Taehyung ran out immediately, heading to the office. He lifted his laptop and rushed back to the living room while Hobi and Jin filled Yoongi in about what was happening.

"What are you doing?" Hobi asked.

"CCTV" Tae answered impatiently as he started up his laptop and opened the CCTV footage of the parking lot of the previous night.

It was dark and hazy but they saw a small hooded figure get into Jungkook's car at 3:30 am.

"Who is it?" Jin asked squinting towards the screen.

"The camera at the gate captures images every time it's opened. Maybe we should check that?" Namjoon asked.

Tae quickly opened the images from the main gate. He opened the last one. It was from this morning when the mechanic had come in.

"I asked the mechanic to come back later, he left" Namjoon said absentmindedly.

"What's going on?" Jimin asked coming down from his room after hearing all the commotion.

"Jungkookie's car is gone somehow" Yoongi answered him.

Jimin joined the rest of them behind Tae.

Tae finally found the image from the last night. It stunned everyone into wordless shock as they recognised the unmistakeable face on the screen.

"Sua?" Tae finally broke the silence.

Jimin turned on his heel and ran back towards the stairway, heading to Sua's room, taking the stairs two at a time. Jungkook was on his heels.

As Jimin reached her door, he hesitated, breathing heavily. He knocked and waited for a few moments. When there was no answer, he pushed the door open and peered inside. The room was quiet and empty. He went in to check the bathroom. It was empty too.

Jimin came back out and stared at Jungkook who was looking at him.

"What did you do?" He asked moving towards him. His eyes were hard, scary hard, like only Jimin could have.

"Hyung!" Jungkook backed away. "I didn't..."

"I know she was with you last night." Jimin bit out.

"She came to me. Willingly hyung! I-I didn't force her. She was fine. She fell asleep in my arms Jimin-ah. She was fine" he insisted.

Jimin stared at him for a moment and then walked out. He headed down the stairs and to the living room, where everyone was waiting for him.

They all looked at him expectantly. He shook his head at them.

"Why would she...?" Namjoon.

"Did she want something? Why didn't she ask like she always did?" Jin.

"3:30 in the morning! What if she's hurt somewhere" Hobi.

All of them agonised about her whereabouts.

Tae was vigorously tapping away at his computer.

"What are you doing?" Jungkook asked him.

"Tracking her phone" Tae answered. "But I can't find it" he whined.

He continued to tap away angrily. "The only place I can't track it, is if it's......."

"Where?" Jin asked impatiently.

"On the estate. Only place I can't track it, is if it's on the estate. But we saw her leaving so she's obviously not here" his voice had started to shake.

He looked around at Jimin. "Did you see her cellphone in her room?"

"We weren't really looking for it. I don't think that's important right now" Jimin replied.

"Is there anything else you can try?" Jungkook asked Taehyung.

"There's a tracker on your car" Tae answered. "I'm trying to hack into it."

They all shuffled behind him again.

"Can you pinpoint the location?" Jungkook asked.

Tae nodded. "It's in Seoul"

"I'll ask my men to take a look around. Try and pinpoint the exact location please."

"I can triangulate the location in a 3 mile radius" Taehyung continued to do it.

"I'll go check her room for her phone. If it isn't there you should continue to try to track it" Yoongi said as Jungkook placed a call to his men.

"I am sending you the approximate location of my car. I need you to look around. Take the others too. Be alert at all times, carry your guns. Call me back once you're able to locate it." Jungkook ended the call.

"Hyung have you sent me the details?" He asked Tae

"Yes. Just sent."

Jungkook tapped away in his phone.

Yoongi staggered down the stairs. Everyone turned to look at him.

"Did you find it?" Namjoon asked.

Yoongi nodded as he silently lifted his hand which held Sua's phone. "It has a note that says "Play Me" I didn't." there was a slight tremor in his voice.

Jungkook looked at him then. For the first time since he had known him, his hyung looked scared as he handed the phone to Taehyung. Though he had put a tight leash on his emotions, seeing Yoongi look scared sent a sense of panic through him.

Tae peeled the note off the phone and turned it on. "There's a video file recorded last night" he said, turning on the TV. He cast the phone screen on to the TV.

An image of Sua flashed on the screen. She was wearing his white shirt, Jungkook realised. Her face looked blotched and red. Her lips were swollen, probably from his kisses and a purple bruise stood out starkly on her neck where he had marked her in the heat of passion last night. So she had probably recorded this, after she had left his room. Her eyes were glimmering with tears, the sight tugged at his heart. What did you do, Sua? He thought to himself.

Tae played the video file.

It began with Sua adjusting the camera and sitting down on a chair. She tucked her hair behind both her ears with shaking hands.

"I don't know how to do this. How do you let go of something that means so much to you? Say goodbye when you want nothing more than to stay?" She asked looking into the camera.

"If you are watching this, you've probably figured out that I'm gone. It is not an easy decision to make but it is the only way. I know you were all willing to fight for me, even d-die for me." Her voice shook.
"So please don't hate me for wanting to do the same for you. I can't bear to see any more of you hurt." She rubbed her chest softly. "It hurts too much"

"I have never known so much happiness or love than I have with all of you." She squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her nose with her wrist.

"I wanted to leave a letter for each one of you, so you would have something to hold on to but I have run out of time. So this is the only way I could think of at this time."

"Seokjin Oppa" she called tearfully.

Jin fell back into the chair behind him, his legs couldn't support his weight anymore. This was giving him a sense of déjà vu, the panic, the fear he had felt when Song-i had disappeared leaving that damned letter for Jimin.

"I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You let me into your home. Gave me a safe place where I felt I belonged. You trusted me, showed me kindness, gave me a family. I'm so sorry. I know I am hurting you by doing this but there was no other way."  Tears leaked out the corners of her eyes and down her face.

Jin felt hollow. This was exactly like losing Song-i all over again. He had done everything in his power, to make her feel at home here, make her feel safe. Yet it felt like, he had failed. He had failed because in her weakest moment, she hadn't felt safe enough to come to him. Tears burned his eyes.

"Joonie" she said softly. 

Namjoon crossed his arms, pursing his lips and hollowing his cheeks in annoyance.

"Thank you for making me stay. Inspite of the danger I posed to your family. You accepted me wholeheartedly, taking care of me." She toyed with the necklace around her neck. "I know I promised to tell you when I wanted to leave. I wanted to come to you, believe me. I know, you would've sorted everything out for me without hesitation. But that might've put you in danger, Joonie. I couldn't let you get hurt. I'm sorry." More tears were falling now.

Namjoon turned away from them barely holding back his tears as he covered his face with his hand.

"Yoongi Oppa" she almost whined.

"Oh No." Yoongi said shaking his head. "Not like this. Stop this right now!! Either skip the video or turn it off." Yoongi turned away "I don't want to hear it"

"Oppa, please" she cried. "Please hear me out"

And with that, Jungkook realised just how well she knew his strongest hyung. She knew he wouldn't want to hear it so she begged him to listen.

"I will forever be thankful for the day you found me and took me home." She continued.

"No!" Yoongi cried "Stop this, please" he pleaded softly, still turned away from the screen.

"You have been, by far, my greatest gift, Oppa. Silently helping me heal through your music, taking care of me. Every note, every lyric we wrote, will forever remain etched in my heart." She lay a hand on her chest.

Jungkook saw Yoongi lay a hand on his chest too even though he couldn't see her. The synchronicity of this simple action showed the depth of their relationship. Yoongi's shoulders were shaking as he cried silently.

"Hobi" she said softly.

Hobi sniffed, quietly nodding to himself and lightly tapping his chest "You're fine. You're fine" he muttered as he too sat down on the sofa.

"My sunshine. My smile. My heartbeat" she sobbed harder now.

Hobi couldn't hold back his tears either as they flowed freely down his face. His sniffles had turned to hiccups.

"You were always there whenever I truly needed you. Even when I didn't know it myself, you knew and you came." She smiled through her tears. "You have so much love to give Hobi, thank you for showering it on me."

"When I saw you hurt, it broke me. I couldn't see my beautiful brother in pain. Please don't blame yourself. Concentrate on healing and getting better. Eat well and rest, please Hobi"

Hobi doubled over himself unable to control the sobs that were shuddering through him.

"Jimin-ah" she called next.

Jimin swayed on his feet. His heart hadn't stopped hurting from the moment he had first learnt that she was missing. Now it felt like it had stopped beating completely.

"Nae Cheon-sa." She hugged herself. "My Angel. You have watched over me, taken care of me, loved me more than I deserved. I will miss your hugs, they held the power to cure anything." She sniffed "I've hurt you, I know and I'm hurting you even more now. But this was the only way. Let me go, Jiminie. Don't throw away your life for me, I'm not worth it" she said.

"But you are. You are worth everything and more" he cried.

"Please don't look for me Jimin-ah. Let me go"

She paused taking a long shuddering breath.

"Tae-Tae" she cried. "Mianheyo" she sobbed uncontrollably.

Tae shook his head. His own sobs echoed through the room.

"My best friend, my brother. I love you so much. I need you to be strong, please. I need you to understand why I had to break my promise to you, why I had to leave you behind. I feel like my heart's being wrenched out of my chest, Tae-Tae. You mean the world to me." She pressed a shaking hand to her quivering lips and blew a soft kiss to him.

Tae slipped to floor overcome with unconsolable grief.

"Jungkookie"  she said breathily, looking away from the camera and down to her feet.

To say he was startled, would be an understatement. His entire being jerked at the sound of his name on her lips. When she looked back at the camera her eyes were so intense with emotion that his knees wobbled beneath him. He couldn't breathe.

"I know you hate me Jungkook-ah." She was almost whispering now, her voice hoarse from crying.

But the words rang clear as a bell in his mind "Aniya" he moaned.

"I never meant to make you feel like I was stealing your family away from you" she looked down again.
"And Song-i" she stuttered, taking a deep breath "I tried to save her. I didn't lie to you. But I understand why you felt that way. I was a stranger, living in your house, claiming your family as my own. I have a dark past, part of which you found out." She took another deep breath before continuing.
"I don't know how it happened or when, but I couldn't stop it, couldn't run from it." She said softly, still looking down.

She looked up again, this time with her heart in her eyes "Saranghae Jungkook-ah"

Jungkook fell to the floor. His knees hitting the floor hard but he didn't feel the pain. No pain could mask the pain of his cracking heart.

Sua hid her face in her hands and sobbed.

"Please. Please. Please. My brothers. Don't go looking for me. I'm doing this out of my own free will. At some point or the other, almost all of you offered to let me leave, just think of this like I took one of you up on your offer." She sniffed wiping her nose with sleeve of his shirt.

"Please don't judge me too harshly. Think of me fondly, whenever you can. Every moment I spent with every one of you is stored in my heart as my most prized memories" she wiped away her tears and gave a broken smile.

"Taehyungie, don't cry, Nae Sarang. Be strong and take care of everyone for me."

Taehyung is was shaking violently as tears streamed down his face.

"Please try to forgive me. I probably will never see any of you again and I cannot live thinking that you hate me." She wiped her tears.

"Please forgive me. Jal Gayo" she whispered again turning off the video.

The screen went blank and Jimin sank to the floor letting the darkness claim him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook had hid in the library trying to nurse his broken heart. Jimin had fainted, Jin had lifted him and settled him into the sofa before hiding himself in his office.

They had all dispersed in a daze. Yoongi to his studio, Namjoon into the garden. He had seen Hobi heading up the stairs as he had headed into the library.

They all needed time to come to terms with what had happened.

She had asked them not to look for her. They wouldn't know where to look.

A part of him felt jerky and panicked, wanting to rush out and scour every inch of the world looking for her. The other half wanted to curl up and die. He couldn't help but feel like this was his fault somehow.

Tae walked into the library, breaking through his thoughts. Jungkook looked at him. His face was blotched with tears still running down his face. He was wheezing.

Jungkook went to him, hugging him close and sobbing with him. Tae slumped for a moment before pushing Jungkook off him with a force he hadn't known he was capable of.

Jungkook crashed into the wall behind him, hitting his head so hard, he saw stars.

He looked at Taehyung in shock. Tae was holding a gun in his good hand which was shaking as he held it up and pointed it at him.

"Where is she?" He asked, his voice cracking through his tears.

"I-I don't know, hyung" Jungkook stammered unable to believe what was happening. Taehyung had always loved him the most.

"Don't lie to me!" he screamed.

"I'm not lying"

"This is your fault. All your fault" He accused his hand shaking even more as he turned the safety on the gun off.

Jungkook fell to his knees again. "Kill me if you must, Taehyung-ah. But I don't know where she is. I wish I did." He cried.

"She was wearing your shirt. She had marks on her neck. You think I wouldn't notice?" He walked closer pointing the gun at his head. "You think, I'm so stupid that I won't figure it out?"

Jungkook stared at him, silently pleading him to understand.

"Did you sleep with her last night?" Tae asked.

Jungkook nodded  "Hyung, I just...."

"Just what? Told her it was her fault that we were hurt? Told her to do something about it? Slept with her? Broke her heart? Is that just what you did Jungkook-ah?" He cried.

Jungkook hung his head. All of it was true. It was his fault. His heart hurt again, all his fault. His mind whirled.

"I want to pull this trigger. I want to do it." Tae cried. "I already lost one sister because of you and I'll be damned if I lose another."

Jungkook's head whipped up. He was right, of course. This was the second time they were going through this and again it was because of him.

Taehyung's face was hard. His eyes glittered menacingly. Jungkook had never seen him like that. He seemed completely out of control.

"You will find her. You will find her and bring her back to me. I don't care how you do it. I don't care if you die trying" Tae cried. "Just bring her back to me!" He screamed, wildly waving the gun in Jungkook's face.

Jin came up behind Taehyung. "Taehyung-ah" he called, gently laying a hand on his shoulder.

Tae shrugged him off and moved away "No!" He screamed again. "He did it, Hyung! It's his fault, she's gone. My Sua....." he broke down.

Jin approached him again, pulling him close.

"I just want her back. I want her to be safe, here, by my side" Taehyung cried, falling into Jin's arms.

"You need to get a grip, Taehyung-ah" Jin said rubbing his back. "We need to regroup. We need to figure out how to get her back"

Tae pulled away from him slightly and looked him in the eyes. "You know where she went?" He enquired.

"I don't think she just left for the sake of it." Jin replied.

"What do you mean hyung?" Jungkook asked rising to his feet.

"She wanted to save us all. So running away wouldn't assure our safety. I think she went to Seoul to hand herself over" Jin said weakly "To Boss Choi"

Tae gasped. The gun slipped from his hand and clattered to the floor.

"Go find everyone and ask them to meet in the dining room. We need to find her, get her back before she's lost forever" Jin said steeling himself against the pain his words caused.

"I made the mistake of not looking for my sister once. I will not make the same mistake again. I will continue to look for Sua until my last breath." Jin vowed heading out of the library.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~*~~~~~~

A/N:
Hit the ⭐️ for all the blood sweat and tears I poured into this chapter.

Translations:
Yeodongsaeng: Little sister
Jaagiya: Baby
Yeobo: Honey
Nae Cheon-sa: My Angel
Mianheyo: I'm sorry
Nae Sarang: My Love
Aniya / Aniyo: No
Saranghae: I love you
Jal gayo: Goodbye

Disclaimer:
Any and all characters in this book are fictional, any resemblance to anyone dead or alive is purely coincidental.
Pictures/Audio/Video Credit goes to the original source/artist/owner.
BTS and its members belong to themselves and Bighit/Hybe. They do not belong to me.

Thank you so much for sticking with me.
Love,
Writeria29
18/04/2023