Today Lancer Cú Chulainn was in the park in his casual clothing from "Carnival Phantasm" just minding his own business.

Lancer: What a beautiful day it is not to be dead.

But then Archer Gilgamesh came out of nowhere wearing his casual black clothing.

Gilgamesh: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are dead! Noble Phantasm! Gate of Babylon!

Then he uses his Noble Phantasm.

Lancer: AHHHH! I am dead!

Then he gets killed by the Noble Phantasm.

Lancer: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Lancer laid on the ground, dead.

Gilgamesh: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Then he heard someone coming then saw Caren Hotensia as he gasped and deactivated his noble phantasm.

Caren: Being a servant in FGO was fun and now Kirei Kotomine is a servant too but in JP servers so NA servers have to wait for a really long time for him and... *gasps* Lancer is dead!

Lancer: Yes. I am dead.

Caren: Why is Lancer dead?!

Gilgamesh: I don't know.

Lancer: I believe it was...

Gilgamesh/Caren: SHHH! You are dead!

Lancer: OK.

Lancer clips to the ground as Saber Bedivere arrives.

Bedivere: I heard a loud explosion! What happened?...

Bedivere sees the crime scene.

Bedivere: What the bloody hell just happened?

Gilgamesh and Caren: Lancer is dead.

A question and 4 answers appeared on the screen.

Bedivere: LANCER IS DEAD?

Caren: Correct!

A fanfare plays as Bedivere smiles.

Caren: So, did you see the murderer?

Gilgamesh and Bedivere: No, sorry mate.

Caren slams her hand on a table that appeared out of nowhere.

Caren: I will find him. I will capture him. And no one will ever DIE again!

Gilgamesh and Bedivere clap hands.

Bedivere: That's nice.

Gilgamesh: Damn proud right there.

They clap faster and harder as Rider Iskandar now appears.

Iskandar: Atteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeention!!

Iskandar zooms into the crime from his army.

Iskandar: Cú Chulainn is dead?!

Caren: We know.

Iskandar: Who killed him?

Caren: We DON'T know.

Iskandar: I will find clues!

Iskandar runs around the park then finds a sword.

Iskandar: What's that? A sword?

He grabs it and shows it to the group

Iskandar: That thing is why Cú Chulainn is dead!

Everyone: LANCER IS DEAD!?

Iskandar: Yes!

Iskandar slams his hands on a court podium.

Iskandar: He DIED!

Everyone gasps with a background rising behind them with three split screens but when the scene changes revealing that it was just a green screen with two black poles. Until an ambulance slams into Iskandar, sending him blasting off into the sky with a twinkle, then Berserker Florence Nightingale comes out.

Nightingale: MOVE! NOW!!

The group moves away from Lancer's dead body. Nightingale gives a kiss on the cheek, which then makes Lancer float up into the air with a bright light shining down on him, only to explode into pieces.

Nightingale: In my medical opinion, LANCER IS DEAD!!!

Bedivere: Nightingale, what happened?

Nightingale: My professional opinion...

She slams on a judge's desk and points like Phoenix Wright.

Nightingale: Lancer was KILLED!

Bedivere: Oh God!

Everyone started to panic.

Nightingale: I don't think it's anything to worry about.

Gilgamesh: So, now what?

But then, Saber Nero Claudius runs into view.

Nero: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Caren: Oh, not her.

Nero: Look at this! The freakin' Lancer is dead!

Everyone was silent.

Nero: What do you think of that?

Everyone: ...

Nero: Uhhh...

Caren: Yes, yes... Nero. We heard you

Nero: Oh yeah...

Caren: LEAVE NOW!

Nero: Oh come on!

Nero leaves in a flash.

Nero: Freakin unbelievable, you guys suck!

Caren: Ok, let's get back to the POINT!

Caren holds a sign that says "The Point" from "Team Fortress 2".

Lancer pokes his dead body with the back of his Gae Bolg.

Lancer: I think Lancer is dead.

Everyone: LANCER IS DEAD!?

Nightingale: I guess my work is done.

Nightingale gets back into the ambulance then drives away. 

Lancer: Seriously!? WHO KILLED Lancer?!

Someone chugs a bottle of the Demoman's Scrumpy and the camera zooms out to reveal Berserker Ibaraki.

Ibaraki: It was me!

Everyone turns their attention to Ibaraki and they all gasp in shock.

Ibaraki: Yes! I did it like this! Noble Phantasm! Great Grudge of Rashomon!

She uses her Noble Phantasm at Bedivere, killing him.

Bedivere: AHHHH!!!!!

Ibaraki: WHOOPTY DOO!!

Ibaraki chugs the Scrumpy bottle again.

Ibaraki: That's a joke, guys.

Everyone then laughs at Ibaraki's joke.

Ibaraki drinks the Scrumpy again.

Ibaraki: It was *burp* him!

Ibaraki points at Gilgamesh who is in shock.

Gilgamesh: *gasps* HOW DID YOU KNOW!?

Ibaraki: I didn't!

She burps again.

Ibaraki: That was a joke too! Bye! Bye!

She instantly runs away as Gilgamesh chuckles then cackles.

Gilgamesh: That's right! It was me! I killed Lancer!

Caren: You BASTARD!!

Lancer: But WHYYYYYYYY?!

Gilgamesh: Cause you're useless, mongrel! And another thing, you're ugly.

While Lancer and Gilgamesh argue, Caren takes turns looking at them then she stares at the camera then shrugs as a subtitle says "It's tradition" appears on the screen.

Lancer: Gilgamesh!

Gilgamesh: AWWW, DAMN IT Lancer! **** OFF!!

Gilgamesh prepares to use his Gate of Babylon again.

Gilgamesh: You are dead!

Lancer: No you! Noble Phantasm! Gae Bolg!

Lancer uses his Noble Phantasm on Gilgamesh, killing him before he could use his Gate of Babylon again.

Gilgamesh: AHHHHH!!!!!!!

Lancer: HA! You are dead! That's what you get for killing me!

Caren: Well, that was idiotic. Off to fly in the rocket.

Caren runs into the rocket from the first episode of "Carnival Phantasm", shoots into the sky and disappears into the sky in a twinkle.

Lancer: I am alive! It's nice.

Grail-kun appears.

Grail-kun: Good job on not dying, Lancer-kun. You managed to stay alive even after getting killed.

Lancer smirked.

Lancer: You better believe it! This isn't like last time! Hmph.

The camera zooms out to reveal that it was just a video on ServantTube. Watching it were Patrick, Assassin Osakabehime, Shirou, Saber, Ilya, Kiana, Neptune, Asuka, Kasumi, Tsugumi, and Chisato.

Osakabehime: Is that really how whoever made this video wanted it to be?

Patrick: Well this person didn't want anyone to commit suicide or else the warnings would appear like in "The Heavy is Dead". 

Saber: Lancer was abused a lot in "Carnival Phantasm" then a decade later he's abused again in "Fate Grand Carnival".

Shirou: He just couldn't catch a break.

Ilya: Berserker abused him a lot in the episode when I sent Berserker to get more batteries for me.

Chisato: The video was kind of decent. Better than Aya-chan's videos when she couldn't make a decent video.

Taugumi: And nobody committed suicide.

Kasumi: People do tend to laugh at random things happening.

Patrick: Lancer was always killed and abused in every episode like Kenny from "South Park". With saying the lines "Oh my god! They killed Lancer!" And "You Bastards!" Though they didn't match with the lip sync and other subtitles had "Lancer died!" And "You aren't human!"

Osakabehime: Then in the English dub of "Fate Grand Carnival" the lines were "They killed Cú Chúlainn!" And "No you bastards!" To match the lip sync.

A notification appeared on the computer catching everyone's attention. Osakabehime clicked on the notification and it took them to another video on ServantTube, titled "The Grif is Dead".

Patrick: Looks like a "Red vs Blue" version of "The Heavy is dead".

Kasumi: Didn't Grif get abused a lot by Sarge in your roleplays on Discord with tupperbots?

Patrick: I got carried away with Sarge blowing Grif up lots of times. I couldn't help myself.

Neptune: Especially all the times you've gotten carried away with embarrassing Noire with fan art of her from Pixiv and pranking her in your Discord roleplays.

Kiana: Plus the time Kallen pranked you with putting hot sauce in your pudding causing you to breathe fire.

Neptune: Please don't remind me. There were also times when Blanc was also pranked when he wanted to see her get angry.

Patrick: Look I couldn't help myself in the tupperbot roleplays. I just had temptation...

Osakabehime: Alright Minaeveryone settle down! Let's give this video a watch.

Chisato: What did she just say?

Saber: She likes mixing English and Japanese together.

Everyone gathers around the computer.

Kasumi: Let's see how funny this one is.

Osakabehime clicks on the video then the camera zooms in on the computer screen as the video plays.

Today Grif was at his usual spot at Red Base in Blood Gulch.

Grif: It's a beautiful day not to be dead. I still wonder why Simmons and I are here.

Sarge: POW! You are dead!

Sarge had shot Grif with his shotgun then he shoots a tank shell from a scorpion tank at Grif.

Grif: I am dead!

And then he gets blown up as he screams.

Grif: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Grif laid dead at the top of Red Base.

Betrayal.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Sarge: Hehehe! That's the funniest thing I've ever done!

Then he heard someone coming then saw Simmons coming to his position where he usually stands by Grif as Srage gasped then hid the tank somewhere instantly.

Sarge: Aw shucks!

Simmons: Rooster Teeth's fandoms are super intoxicated. I wish there was some kind of resolution that could solve all our problems... *gasps* Grif is dead!

Grif: Yes. I am dead.

Simmons: Why is Grif dead?

Sarge: I don't know

Grif: I believe it was-

Sarge/Simmons: SHHH! You are dead!

Grif: OK.

Grif clips to the ground as Tucker arrives.

Tucker: What's up, reds? How's it going?...

Tucker sees the crime scene.

Tucker: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?!

Sarge and Simmons: Grif is dead.

A question and 4 answers appeared on the screen.

Tucker: GRIF IS DEAD?

Simmons: Correct!

A fanfare plays as Tucker smiles underneath his helmet.

Simmons: So, did you see the murderer?

Sarge and Tucker: No, sorry mate.

Simmons slams her hand on a table that appeared out of nowhere.

Simmons: I will find him. I will capture him. And no one will ever DIE again!

Sarge and Tucker clap hands.

Tucker: That's nice.

Sarge: Damn proud right there. You're doing your country proud.

They clap faster and harder as Washington now appears.

Washington: Our fandom really needs to be fixed... Grif is dead?!

Simmons: We know.

Washington: Who killed him?

Simmons: We don't know.

Washington: I will find clues!

Washington runs around Red Base then finds a random gun.

Washington: What's that? A gun?

He grabs it and shows it to the group

Washington: That thing is why Grif is dead!

Everyone: GRIF IS DEAD!?

Washington: Yes!

Washington slams his hands on a court podium.

Washington: He DIED!

Everyone gasps with a background rising behind them with three split screens but when the scene changes revealing that it was just a green screen with two black poles. Until a Warthog slams into Washington, killing him, then Doc comes out.

Doc: I heard that Grif was killed. Stand back everyone, I've got this.

The group moves away from Grif's dead body. Doc gives a kiss on the cheek, which then makes Grif float up into the air with a bright light shining down on him, only to explode into pieces.

Doc: In my opinion, Grif IS DEAD!!!

Tucker: Doc, what happened?

Doc: My professional opinion...

He slams on a judges desk and points like Phoenix Wright.

Doc: Grif was KILLED!

Tucker: Oh God!

Everyone started to panic.

Doc: I don't think it's anything to worry about.

Sarge: So, now what?

But then, Donut runs into view.

Donut: Clickity clock...

Sarge: Oh, not him.

Donut: Look at this! Grif is freakin' dead!

Everyone was silent.

Donut: What do you think of that?

Everyone: ...

Donut: Uhhh...

Sarge: Yes, yes... Donut. We heard you.

Donut: Oh yeah...

Sarge: LEAVE NOW! THAT IS AN ORDER! NOBODY LIKES YOU!

Another warthog appears.

Donut: Oh come on!

Donut gets into the warthog.

Donut: Freakin' unbelievable, you guys suck!

The warthog zooms out of the camera and crashes with donut screaming.

Simmons: Ok, let's get back to the POINT!

Simmons holds a sign that says "The Point" from "Team Fortress 2".

Grif respawns then he pokes his dead body.

Grif: I think Grif is dead.

Everyone: GRIF IS DEAD!?

Doc: Donut I can help you.

Doc runs to the crash as it explodes again, killing him.

Grif: Seriously!? WHO KILLED GRIF?!?

Somebody else arrives revealing to be Caboose holding Freckles.

Caboose: It was ME!

Everyone turns their attention to Caboose and they all gasp in shock.

Caboose: Yes! I did it like this!

Caboose switches to a rocket launcher, aims it at Tucker and fires it, killing him.

Tucker: AHHHH!!!!!

Betrayal.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Caboose: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just kidding guys, it's a joke.

Everyone then laughs at Caboose's joke.

Caboose: Actually. It was him.

Caboose points at Sarge who is in shock.

Sarge: *gasps* HOW DID YOU KNOW!?

Caboose: I didn't! It was a joke too! Let's go, Freckles!

Caboose puts on a jet pack then flies away as Sarge chuckles then cackles.

Sarge: That's right! It was me!

Simmons: You TRAITOR!!

Grif: But WHYYYYYYYY?!

Sarge: Cause you're lazy boi! And another thing, you're ugly and nobody likes you!

While Grif and Sarge argue, Simmons takes turns looking at them then he stares at the camera then shrugs as a subtitle says "It's tradition" appears on the screen.

Grif: Sarge!

Sarge: AWWW, DAMN IT Grif! **** OFF!!

Sarge aims his shotgun at Grif.

Sarge: You are dead!

Grif: No you!

Grif brings out a rocket launcher then he shoots Sarge killing him.

Sarge: AHHHHH!!!!!!!

Betrayal.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Grif: HA! You are dead! That's what you get for abusing me!

Simmons: Well, that was idiotic. Off to drive in the warthog.

Simmons gets into another warthog and drives away.

Simmons: Watch and learn!...

But then he drove over some land mines and blew up.

Grif: I am alive! It's nice... Yes this is stupid.

The camera zooms back out from the computer screen.

Kasumi: That was funny!

Patrick: I remember when Grif was abused by Boomstick in the crossover episode with "Death Battle". In my Discord roleplays I always assumed that Sarge would do the same thing. I always thought after first seeing Grif that his armor was yellow but then reading a Neptunia FanFiction when I commented, I was told back "IT'S ORANGE!" And I saw better that his armor was orange.

Chisato: Are you colorblind? Why did you think that his armor was yellow when it was actually orange?

Patrick: Because his armor looked more yellow than orange.

Tsugumi: Now what should we do?

Osakabehime: Let's go get some cake!

Saber: Yes!

Everyone agreed then they all instantly ran out of the room.

(Ending theme...)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]