like i said in the last part, which  you should have read, this is unedited, untouched, and unfinished. if you want to know why, read the last part. also, THE MEDIA PICTURE IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE.

trigger warning:
if you get triggered by suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, i strongly advise you to NOT read this short story.

I was locked in the building, with embers falling from the ceilings, smoke rising up into the air. They say that when they found me, I was charred with ashes, gasping for breath, until it became harder and harder to breathe the oxygen.

I had only been three when it happened, and already scarred for life. Being diagnosed with cerebral palsy, life has had some adverse circumstances, but at a young age I had decided that I wanted to be a dancer, a ballerina, no matter how difficult it could be. At the time, nobody was willing to give ballet lessons to a little girl who had trouble standing, much less walk.

By the time I was 12, I gave up on those dreams. I became depressed. I was beyond empty. I had no friends. Nobody liked me for who I was, and when I was 13, I gave up on life completely. I went to the place where it all started.

My deprivation of oxygen, the malfunctioning of my brain, my cerebral palsy, and my fate. The agony, the frustrations, the hardships. I wheeled myself to the ruins of the old building, ready to end my life. To do what felt truer that everything that has happened to me in my hopeless life. To commit that deed.

That day, I put my hair in a bun. It was meant to symbolize the grief I had faced all throughout my life. I went there seeking salvation. Instead, right before I was about to do it, in the moment my life started flashing through my eyes, I saw someone.

Someone wearing white tights and a leotard. Unable to hold back my curiosity, I wheeled myself closer to her. At one point she notices me watching her practice. She realizes what I came here to do, and stops dancing. She kneels down to where my wheelchair is and tells me not to end my life forever. That with time and patience life would get better. I ignore her, until she says something that stands out to me.

"If you do this, you will give in to the darkness."

"I don't care," I tell her. I then start to sing a song. A song I improvised when I was 11. When I finish, I realize that there are tears streaming down my face. Tears of the past and present.

"Think of the things you gave up on long ago. That was supposed to be the greatest dream you fulfill." Without even thinking I choke out two words. The two most important words of my life.

"Ballet dancer."