Tw: Eating disorder (Ednos), an overabundance of innuendos (but no smut I swear), Swearing, Jan do be having 0 self esteem, weight mention

It was the first day at the skii restort and so far everything was going swell. It was a good thing Janus was sharing one of the 2 hired apartements with Remus and Remy since without him the Rems would have definetly put the tv on fire by now. The rest of the group shared the other apartement which had made Virgil so anxious he'd nearly dug himself down into the snow and slept there like a bear.

But now it was day and Virgil was hidden down under a big jacket and a scarf and he was still cold. Normally he stayed near Patton whenever he was anxious in public but somehow he'd ended up alone in a large crowd of people.

Until he heard a voice from behind him.

"Hello my prince of everlasting darkness! Would you like to accompany up to the top of this dangerous mountain" Roman said while motioning towards the lift "It says that there's a dragon at the top!"

"Sure" Virgil replied while moving close to him since being near non strangers in big crowds = safe "But we're not going to the top, I'm not that good and fuck it dude I'm going to be vibe checked by anxiety if I'm out of my water"

"Alright"

They had to share one of those small anchor lifts so they were half standing really really close to one another but neither of them minded since they were floridians in a cold enviroment. They took all the shared body heat they could get.

"Soooo" Virgil hated the silence though so he had to destroy it "Was it Patton who made those really nice marmelade sandwiches or what? I woke up late and there was one left at the table so I just...stole it"

"It was meeee!!" Roman sang out with a confident smile "I actualy really enjoy cooking. It's relaxing and it makes me glad to spend time making something that will keep others happy and nurtured.....ANd me! I'm also cooking for me now a days"

Virgil chuckled "Not gonna lie, when I first saw you I thought you were going to be a self absorbed jackass who like payed for someone to make food like you had a butler or some shit"

He couldn't help but laugh "Well how do you see me now?"

"You're an okay guy I guess" Virgil replied with a shrug.

He did a long offended princey gasp "Just okay???" He said in an overly serious tone.

The emo tried to hide his smile by rolling his eyes "By my standard being deemed okay is great"

"Well thank you. Now I won't have to put boogers in your food tonight. I'm making dinner by the way. Cooking for the entire group is kind of what I've looked forward to the most"

"What is it then ratatouille?"

"Okay so normal pasta and a mini chicken salad next to it. But 6 cal per 100 g pasta aka miracle pasta and no chicken only salad for those who either eat little cal or nothing at all" Roman replied.

"Which group are you in then? Normal or low cal?"

Roman looked away while scrunching his eyebrows in thought. He'd completely forgotten about himself "I guess...I'll have normal but with a smaller portion of pasta. The doctor said I had to eat at least 2500 cal per day to go up to a normal weight and I'm close to that so this is a step in the right direction right?"

"Yeah, it's great and-OH FUCK we forgot to get off. Oh no we're at the top of the fucking mountain. Nope nope I can't. I will die" Virgil babbled out feeling a heavy feeling plant itself in his stomach.

After they'd gotten off the lift Roman patted the other man's shoulder while reasuringly saying "So so catcher-in-the-cry, I'll make sure you'll be fine" He thought for a moment before holding out his hand "Here take my hand"

Virgil hesitated before shaking his head.

"Ok well then take grab ahold of my stick" he continued while holding it out, now the emo did as he said. "It's just in case you lose control you can trust me to always catch you"

"Hah you fool, assuming I trust anyone" He did a fake evil laugh.

"Someone woke up on the edgy side of the bed" 

"Just like how you woke up on the infurable side" Virgil teased.

"Don't you mean fabolous" Roman exclaimed while doing jazz hands with his free hand.

"That's gay"

"You're ga-" he stopped mid sentence realizing he didn't know if Virgil was. Oh god how do you even joke around straight people???

"True"

Oh thank god, homo humor back in business.

They skiied slowly and Virgil kept staring into the ground with a nervous look. Every now and then he would yelp when there was a bit more snow than on the rest of the ground.

Roman circled around while stopping in one sweeping motion so Virgil went into his chest and stopped as well. He quickly let him go when he realized they were pressed together chest to chest.

"Sorry. Just a tip, look at a tree or something instead of the ground, your body will adjust to the snow naturally"

Virgil sighed "I have anxiety how do you expect me to just relax and look at a tree"

Out of nowhere a loud voice loudly sang with singing voice sounding like a chainsaw "SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME"

Ah, it's the duke.

He was going as fast as he could down the slope and stuck his tounge out when he passed his twin.

Roman took off after him singing just as loudly "THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME" It was a sibling thing, don't question it.

They continued this until the end of the slope where Remus drove right into a snow drove.

The man in red stopped and took off his skiis "Hey bro you okay?" He asked while walking up to the snow drove.

"BLLAARGH!" Remus in response exclaimed throwing snow right into his brother's face.

It was the first blow in a vicious snowfight. Virgil came down a few moments later and immediately took Roman's side so they both absolutely destroyed Remus with snow. While they were hiding behind a snow drove Virgil leaned over and whispered

"Fuck you for leaving me in the middle of the mountain"

"Sorry" He got a smug look on his face "So did you get here so quickly 'cause you wanted to save me or cause you followed my tree tip?"

Virgil gave him the middle finger without saying anything which made Roman laugh. They jumped up from the snow drove at the same time and made sure all of their snow balls went directly into Remus' face.

 Until out of nowwhere 3 snowballs all hit them right in the back. It was Janus coming with a surprise attack. He'd been skiing with Remus but the duke had driven ahead when he saw his twin.

The man in green fell back dramatically and pretended to cry out "Oh my love how could you have killed me like this??" He pouted "Kiss me to resurect me"

Janus sighed before quickly pressing a kiss to his nose.

"MUCH betta" He exclaimed with a smile sitting up.

"I'm going to the jacuzzi they have by the pool" Janus informed "This weather is not good for a cold noodle like me"

"Nice! I love me a good swim!" Roman exclaimed while poking at Virgil to get him to come with.

Janus sent a look to Remus who quickly blurted out "I'mma swim NuDE! And pee in the jaccuzi AND the pool!!"

All of the want to swim very quickly disapeared from Roman and Virgil. They both waved goodbye before going back to the lift to continue skiing together. Eventually they would go and join Patton who was still skiing by the kid slopes since he was afraid of heights.

Remy had been with Patton but then they'd seen a really cute guy and gotten a gay panic and disapeared to flirt with him. Logan on skiis was like bambi on ice so he was out walking instead.

"Nice lie" Janus said while high fiving his boyfriend "I hope it was a lie at least"

"It was a lie don't worry. I know nudity makes you the bad kind of uncomfy and all so I wouldn't"

He knew Janus wouldn't have been able to have a warm good time in the jaccuzi since he wasn't comfortable with anyone but Remus seeing the scars on his arms and thighs. most of the ones on his arms were small and white and not that visible but the ones on his legs were big and purple and if he ran his finger over them he could feel them being bumps.

Remus pulled up Jan's jacket sleeve slightly and pressed a kiss to a faint scar "It's cool that you've been clean from this kind of self harm for so long now by the way" He grinned as he got an idea "You know what would be cooler tho?"

"What?"

"If you got them from a tiger. Or if you got trapped in a mansion with a vampire and the vampire has to keep his teeth sharp so he sharpens them on you and then drinks your blood but like in a realy homoerotic way since all vampires are gay" Remus rambled out.

"Dear your vampire kink is quite visible" Janus replied.

"I don't have a vampire kink since i am not attracted to you and you are 100% a vampire in snake skin. Girl I am absolutely 0% attracted to you wouldn't even want to twist a nipple or anything" He crossed his arms while saying it.

"Aww darling you don't have to lie, I know you are but you badly pretend you aren't which I definetly don't appreciate at all" He lied.

"Anything to keep my fav boyfriend happy!" 

"I'm....I'm your only boyfriend" 

"And also my favorite! What a coincidence!" 

Remus shone that big stupid smile that screamed I-love-you at him and looked at him with those big doe eyes that got so happy whenever he looked at Janus. Jan stared down into the snow. He knew he didn't deserver any of it.

"Why do you even put up with me when Remy is well Remy" Janus quietly asked.

Remus looked over at him with a confused smile. He moved his arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer as he replied "Because I love you!"

Jan frowned as he tried to vocalize the point that he saw so clearly "They're at least half my size and they don't have you drive out to their house because of like the third panic attack that week and th-"

He let out a laugh "Honeydee do you even know how many times I've had to take the bus in the middle of the night because Remy was too drunk or high to get home on their own? Or when I've spent hours comforting them because their date misgendered them purposly? Or other stuff like that? I've never complained since I love them just like I love you. Never apoiligise for being human"

Janus opened his mouth to object but Remus talked over him.

"I mean I guess I'm pretty lucky that I got 2 incredible pretty partners"

Jan squinted his eyes at him "I'm 165 cm and 76 kg, I'm simply-"

"You forgot beautiful" Remus interupted "165 cm, 76 kg and absolutely beautiful"

"Ssssshut up" He hissed out trying to hide his blushing cheeks.

"Aww there's my happy snakey" He laughed before picking Janus up and pressing smoches to his cheeks.

"Put me down now" He muttered pretending like he didn't like it.

"Alright alright" he began putting him down "But" He squished Jan's cheeks and looked into his eyes "You're beautiful okay?"

"Suuuure" He lied while rolling his eyes.

"Noice. And don't talk about Remy's weight in that way again, they're not healthy and you shouldn't want to be like them and I-"

 He stopped himself not wanting to say that he was worried about them, that he was worried about Janus.

"Anyway! I'mma pretend to be a kraken and splash water everywhere and you can't stop me!!" Remus did an evil laugh at the end.

"Aww why would I ever try to stop my own personal kraken. I could use you as a weapon of death" He replied with a smile.

Remus' eyes lit up and he quickly began to babble out about how he could be the best weapon of death ever.

--

Janus had made himself at home in the sauna after 2 hours of jacuzzi while Remus went back to the apartement. Now he and Remy were snuggled up in bed while watching a movie both of them had seen twice before.

The enby was leaned against their boyfriend's shoulder. When they got bored they started to press kisses from his cheek down to his collar bones. In response Remus pulled them closer and started to drag his fingers through their hair.

"So babe I like saw this guy today, gorgeous I'm telling ya. like he was" They did a chefs kiss.

"Nice" He held up his hand to high five.

"No high five, there isn't a happy ending to this. Turns out he had a girlfriend. Fuck the world for making someone that pretty straight"

"Joder dios" Remus muttered in agreement "Aww did my lil Remy-babey get sad cause you didn't get to date him?"

"Fuck no. Girl I don't date other people cause I'm like 99,9% sure I will never love anyone as much as I like love you. I was like I dunno planning to have fun and then never see him again"

"Very classy" The duke did a slow clap.

"Hey you're dating me so according to the Remy laws you're legally not allowed to make fun of me"

"The Remy laws?" He chuckled out.

"Yeah sooooo anyway since I didn't get that guy I was thinking we couldddd" They tried to look as cute as possible while doing puppy eyes and their hands went to some nonfamily friendly places.

"I'm watching the movie y'know" He replied.

They pouted before whining out "Come on girl we already know that like they won't sew buttons into her eyes and everything will be like fine"

"Maybe I want to reknow it"

"Really?"

"nah"

Remus wrapped his arms around their shoulders and pulled them into a kiss. They shifted their positions so Remy was laying with their back on the bed while the duke was leaning over them. He had a sinister smile on his lips as he grabbed their wrists and pinned their arms above their head.

Remy rolled their eyes while smirking "It's tots adorable when you try to act all tough. As if you won't like do what I say the moment I like say it. You're such a softie. All bark and no bite"

"Maybe it's not a good idea to tease the guy who's in perfect position to break your wrists"

"Take my shirt off" Remy commanded to prove their point that he would do anything they said.

He imeediatly let go of their wrist and did exactly as they said before pressing gentle kisses to their neck.

"See? Most subby top ev-" They said while looking smug.

Remus shut them up by kissing them. This time he moved the kisses down to their arm so that he could give them affection while trying to reach for the top drawer of the nigthstand where he'd put his just-in-case-condoms. Now he may be a kinky trash rat but to him consent and safety was fucking sexy.

He frooze when he noticed a large bruise on his partner's wrist "Where did that come from?" He asked while abruptly stopping the kissing.

"I dunno, think it came from like a few days ago when we y'know" They lowered their sweatpants slightly and showed another bruise on their hip "Can't think of any other reason they're there"

Remus went pale "Y-you should have told me it hurt. You know I always ask if it hurts too much. I didn't mean to bruise you, I'm sorry I didn't-"

Remy sushed him "Babe malnurition makes it super fucking easy to bruise. It didn't even hurt it's just my body being stupid kay?"

He nodded while looking away.

"Alright" Remy leaned forward and kissed him but Remus lightly pushed them away.

"I don't think I really want to anymore"

"Okay okay" They held up their hands "Cool no need"

"Wanna skip the juicy stuff and just go straight to the aftercare? Some good ol candles and bathing time?"

"Fuck yeah" They high fived before getting up.

They gathered some candles from the table and sat them on the floor of the bathroom while Remus filled the bathtub with water. While Remy rambled about some gossip and took off their sweatpants the duke continued to look at them with a worried expression.

Suddenly it was so very clear how much more fragile they'd gotten. He'd been with them when their ribs had been hard to count. He'd been with them when they didn't have a thigh gap(it was small but still there). He'd been with them when they didn't have constant bruises on their thighs from body checking. How could he not have realized how bad they'd gotten.

It was like how when you're with someone all the time you don't notice how they've aged until you go away from them for a while. Instead of a wrinkle or a new haircut it was signs of a sooner death.

If he could bruise them so easily he was afraid of hurting them worse by mistake. What if he broke one of their bones. What if they passed out during s*x but he didn't notice and then he would be a monster and Remy would never want to see him again and no one else would either and he would be kicked out and everyone would hate him and-

He glanced over at the toilet. He just wanted to purge up all his worry. He wanted the pain from his throat to overtake all his senses.

"Hey babe you good?" Remy asked which interupted his thoughts.

"If if I said yes you'd know I was lying so no" He scratched at his arm "You're so fragile I don't wanna accidentally break you"

They reached out and took his hand "You would never hurt me, I'm 100% sure of it so stop worrying your pretty lil head about it"

Remy sat down in the bath and blew some bubbles around. Normally Remus would have pretended to be a giant octopus and slammed the water around but today he simply sat down behind them and leaned his forhead against their back while sighing.

"Guuuurrrlll as your one and only lovely partner I deserve to be treated like a queen so like how about you start massaging my back instead of just like banging your head into it" Remy muttered while splashing some water at him.

He splashed back with a frown before cracking his knuckles "Still sorry for the bruises by the way" He said while massaging their shoulders.

They closed their eyes and let the warmth from his hands and the bath take over. It felt like they'd gone to a warm relaxing sunny field "They'll be gone in a day or two it's tots fine"

"I'm just thinking if it was triggering or something with your dad and stuff"

"Ugh don't even mention him. I don't even really have triggers so it's like fine. I mean if I had I wouldn't be alright with you pushing me down into the bed and stuff"

"That's cause you tell me to!" He objected while moving his hands down to do choopy massage motions.

Remy laughed before going back to rambling about some gossip. They took their phone and put on a playlist to give the moment some nice background music.

"Gosh I'm such a gay sterotype but at least I'm a goshdarn good looking one" They chuckled while going through their music.

Remus didn't respond. If he traced his finger over their back he could feel their spine. Hell it even stuck out in some places.

"Dear are you using me to burn calories?" Remus asked in a serious tone he usually didn't talk in.

They burst out into laughter "Pff what? Why? How would I ever do that?"

"You've told me you want to fuck because work stressed you out on days I know you didn't even have shifts and I dunno maybe i'm delusional here but maybe there's some sort of connection between I dunno you getting sicker and you wanting to do it more offten and I dunno what I'm thinking-"

"Yeah well you're thinking wrong" They bit off in a defensinve tone,

"I promise I wouldn't be mad. I know this disorder makes you do really stupid shit just to burn calories. I just...I'd like to not be tricked into helping you hurt yourself if you get me"

Remy leaned back against his chest with a sigh "It's not a lie that it helps me destress and I do enjoy being that close to you and stuff but yeah I'm too like lazy to actually excersise so what we do feels like the easier option"

Remus wrapped his arms around them and pressed a kiss to their forhead "It's okay....Don't start going out with other guys more now just to burn calories alright? No hurting yourself or I'mma chain you in my basement and cut off your toes"

"Kinky. Definetly not, I would neeeeeva meet guys just to burn cal" They lied.

"Good. I just want you to be healthy and happy, I hope you know that"

"I know" They stuck out their tounge "Blegh stop making me feel actual emotions you fuck. Get all Remusy and tell me a gross fact. Now"

"Snakes have 2 dicks!"

"Does that include Janus or?" Remy asked.

"I've never seen him pantsless and I doubt I ever will so that will remain a mystery forever and ever" He looked down at them and smiled "Gonna be a sap here. I luuvvv you"

"Ugh gross" They kissed him long and hard "Love you too"

Remus relaxed while cuddling closer to his partner. He grinned while bubbling over with love. So much so that he would never be able to tell Remy just how much he loved them since it was honestly an ineffable amount, Remy felt the exact same way.