Tw: Couple arguing, Eating disorder (ana), Mentions of fucking but no actual fucking, v/miting, forced hospitalization

3 weeks later

Remus sat leaned over the coffee table in the living room where his drawing pad was set up. Someone had commissioned him to draw a smut scene of James Bond and Q. When he'd been 8 and hellbent on becoming an artist this wasn't what he'd imagined.

He felt a gloved hand land on his shoulder before Janus sat down next to him "Dea-"

"Not right now honey. I am busy drawing an 8 inch dick!"

"Well I'm busy with more important stuff" He shut off Remus' drawing pad and made him turn towards him "I'm not mad at you"

"Oh jeez that makes it sound like you're really angry at me. What did I do? Did I break anotha window? Did I get fake blood on the carpet again? My real blood? I thought I was doing good at keeping my blood inside my meat suit"

"No. Nothing of that sort. I love you" Janus gave Remus a quick kiss "And you've been doing amazing for a long time so this relapse was nothing okay? I'll help you through it"

Remus let out a chuckle "Relapse? Hun I haven't purged in like 4 months"

Janus face dropped "But...I was looking for my shirt in our closet and under some fake fur coat I found a box filled with vomit. If it's not you then"

They both went quiet as the sound of the coffee machine starting came from the kitchen. Remy whistled along to the music they were listening to while pouring the drink up. They had on their leather jacket, thigh high leather boots and loose short shorts. The last time Janus had seen in them in those shorts they'd sat tight on them.

The boyfriends glanced at each other before getting up and going into the kitchen. Remy didn't look up at them or anything even when Janus leaned on the countertop right next to them.

"Where have you been all day?" He asked.

"Out" They muttered out. They took their coffee and swiftly walked past him without looking at him. They slumped down on the couch.

(Today they'd been sober for a month. They hadn't expected anyone to notice. Their thoughts still told them their boyfriends were angry and or hated them and that's why they hadn't said anything)

Remus leaned his arms on the top of the couch and pressed a kiss to Remy's cheek. They rolled their eyes and tried to move away. "Where have you been babe?"

"Working at the coffee shop. Were some tots irritating Karen there" They replied. Every time they replied more to Remus than to Janus he got more and more irritated by it.

"Okay well" Remus leaned closer and pressed a kiss to their neck "Then you deserve me annoying you with horrible horror movies for the rest of the night.....AndalsoIcanfixyoufood"

"Can't" They straight up blocked him with their hand when he tried to kiss them. They were typing something on their phone "Meeting a guy. 46 years old. New record"

"That....That's literally more than both of our ages together"

"Yeah that's why I like said new record dumber. Patton came by the shop yesterday which got me thinking of bears sooo"

Sure they'd been having a lot of one night stands before getting sober but it'd gotten much more frequent. If they didn't have the bottle they needed another distraction. They couldn't think about how much they hated themself while someone's tounge was down their throat and rough hands were feeling them up. They couldn't think at all. It was good. Guys liked them better when they were mindless.

Remus rolled over the top of the couch so he landed with his head on their lap "Well my dear dead heart of mine I uh there was ehhhh leftovers from purging in the closet and I'm just wondering if you're oka-"

"It was Janus" They interrupted "I don't purge. I'm too classy for it"

"I was just thinking because you mentioned that guy who forced you to purge and I thought maybe you kinda- it kinda made you start?"

Remy stood up so suddenly Remus nearly fell off the couch "Don't mention that guy. I. Don't. Purge. It was Janus okay? Greeeeat. Now how about you go talk to Your like boyfriend and I'll go to my meet up. Bye girl"

They more stormed off than walked away from him. They'd gotten halfway through the living room when their legs gave out under them from walking so fast so sudden. They fell forward but Janus swiftly caught them and helped them back up.

"Rem-" Janus began to say.

"Don't fucking touch me" They hissed out while forcing his hands off of them but he held onto their wrist to stop them.

"Darling you're not very healthy"

"Girl If I wanted to hear somebody insult how I look I would have just listened to myself thank you!" Remy bit back "And how about you care more about whether you're healthy before you get so fucking fat you have a heart attack!"

Janus immediatly let go of them and took a step back. It looked like he was disgusted just by being in his own body. Remus stood up from the couch "Hey you don't get to say that kind of stuff to him!"

Remy glanced between them. The looked like a trapped animal. At first they didn't say anything. They closed their hands into fists and held back the urge to cry. (They were waiting for Remus to hit them)

"Whatever" They forced themself to roll their eyes and sneer at the other two "Fuck off"

With that they left the apartement and slammed the door behind them. Remus went up to Janus and leaned down slightly to cup his cheeks.

"They didn't mean it" Remus said.

"I know" Janus mumbled back. He was staring down into the floor.

"They just said that because they want to force us away or something"

"I know"

"They're hurting and it- they shouldn't have said that but they 100% didn't mean it okay babe?"

"I know"

"....Just to make sure....you're not purging right?" Remus asked.

"I haven't purged in a few weeks. That's not a lie" Janus promised.

He shone up into a smile "Several weeks?" He pressed a quick kiss to Jan's nose "I'm so proud of you!!"

A light blush spread across his cheeks "Thanks"

"Aight. How about we cuddle up on the couch like 2 penguins slowly dying of the cold and you can show me some snake documentaries or murder mystery shows or whatever?"

When Janus nodded Remus swiftly picked him up and carried him bridal style to the couch. He bundled them up in blankets until they looked like 2 warm noddles in a burrito. The snake put on the few episodes of 'Murder, she wrote' he hadn't seen. (He didn't like rewatching episodes since the fun was figuring out who the murderer was).

Remus had a 'stim toy' (an old round comb, he liked the texture against his palm) so he wouldn't lose focus. He had to paus the show to rant about how there should have been more blood around the body if she'd gotten his neck cut open. They both betted on who they thought was the murderer. Janus won. He got a back massage as a prize.

After 2 more episodes (Jan kept winning) Remus said "Hey want me to make some hot chocolate?? I want some hot chcoclate. Do you think a person could die if you put them in a giant cup of hot chocolate? It would be like lava wouldn't it??....Where was I?..Ah! Chocolate! You want?"

Janus looked at him as if he'd dropped his brain for even asking him if he wanted chocolate.

"I can replace the milk with warm water and only put a spoon of chocolate powder in it??" Remus suggested. Janus pouted and sighed before nodding.

He got up and went to the kitchen. Janus could hear him sing some nonsensical song about cut up dogs while making the drinks. He came back and gave the chocolate to him along with a kiss.

Janus eyed the mug as if it would bite him. He carefully sipped on it and the moment it got into his mouth he melted into it. He got a giddy smile on his lips which he tried to hide.

Remus poked his finger into Janus ribs which made him squirm around and laugh as it tickled. "You're most wonderful man I've ever known" The duke murmured before kissing him long and hard.

--

At 2 am Remus woke up by his phone ringing. He rolled over and smashed his hand around on the nightstand before he got his phone "Hi. Leader of the buttplug cult Remus Prince here. Have you called to join us?" He yawned out.

"I might have just killed a guy with my dick" A nervous voice which he didn't recognize reeled out.

"Was it intentional or? You want help hiding the body???" Remus was in for the ride.

"NO! No! I was on a date or well not a date but we were fucking and I thought it was going well. Most guys says I am very good so of course it's going well. And then he just stopped moving so I took his phone and phoned the first number that came up and it was you"

"What does this 'guy' look like?"

"Skinny. Like I like myself some small young twinks but he looks ten times thinner in real life than on the pics. Brown hair. Sunglasses"

"Yeah" Remus pinched his nose while sighing "Yeah that's a they not a he"

"H-they didn't tell me"

"They do that shit sometimes. They've probs passed out. Send me where you are. I'll be there as soon as I can. If you even lay a finger on them aside from checking their pulse while they're passed out I will drag out every single one of your fingernails before doing the same to your teeth!"

Remus turned off the call. He laid still in the bed for a moment. It'd been a while since he'd gotten to cuddle up to someone at night since Janus used Roman's past room nowaday. Even though the same blanket and pillow was there the bed felt much colder. Much bigger. It felt lonely to sleep.

He dragged on a pair of booty shorts and an oversixed t-shirt while going into Janus room. His love slept soundly with a panda plush tighly held to his chest (Remy had won it for him at a fair). Remus hunched down on the ground in front of him. He took a deep breathe before screeching at the top of his lungs to wake him up.

"I HAVE SNAKE FANGS YOU ROBBER BITCH!" Janus yelled while sitting up in bed. He rapidly looked around before laying down again when he saw it was just his boyfriend.

"Hiiii" Remus gave his now very grumpy looking boyfriend a quick kiss "I gotta go capture Remy and get them home"

He let out a yawn "I can pick them up this time. You've gone enough times" It looked like his eyelids were about to close any second "I drive good!"

"Babe no offense but I honestly don't think they want to be in the same car as you right now" He tucked Janus back in and stood up but before he could walk away his wrist was grabbed.

"Wait darling" Janus yawned out "I forgot to tell you how proud I am of you for not purging in several months. You're doing amazing dear. I love you, always"

Remus shone up into a soft smile "Aww thanks!! I love you too my dear dead heart of mine! Have a good sleep! Don't let any spiders crawl into your mouth while you sleep!!"

25 minutes later Remus was knocking on the door of a room in a quite shabby motel. "Open up or I will release a swarm of bees into the room!!" He yelled while the knocking turned into banging.

The 46 year old man opened. Remy really hadn't joked when they called him a bear. He had on a pair of boxers and had the kind of dark eyes that made Remus want to kiss him instantly.

"Hello. They've thankfully woken up, and no I didn't touch them so you don't have to rip out my nail or teeth. I think they're puking in the bathroom. Must be drunk. I picked them up outside a bar"

Remus forced a smile "OH You DID?!" He reached forward his hand "HI! I'm their boyfriend and subconscious husband!"

"I hope you're in an open relationship. Otherwise I wish you good luck in the fighting. Can't say this is the first time I've helped someone cheat"

"We're open yeah" Remus brushed aside him and walked into the small room.

The cover of the bed was on the floor and so was a lot of clothes. He continued into the bathroom where Remy, in nothing but boxers and a sport top, was leaning over the toilet.

"Hey babe" Remus greeeted to which they gave him the middle finger while continuing to puke.

He sat down next to them and rubbed his hand up and down their back. It was very very triggering to him but it was worth it if he could take care of them. When it finally stopped Remy leaned back on their heels and wiped the remains around their mouth away with their arm.

"I took a pill" They muttered out as an explanation "Not a drug! a diet pill"

"Just as bad" He flicked his finger against their forhead "You drunk?"

"Gilr no neva! I'm the most sober bitch eva!"

"Uhu. Why did the guy say he picked you up by a bar then?"

"I was just like walking past it! Am I not allowed to go outside now or whateva? Or like I kinda stopped outside it and like looked inside but I wasn't gonna drink anything! It's like when you open a bag of candy just to sniff it to like get less hungry!" Remy rambled out. They weren't lying. They would rather die than drink again. Not after what they'd nearly done to Janus.

"If you weren't starving you wouldn't have to smell candy like that y'know. I'm taking you home and I'm getting you something to eat. Whether you want it or not"

They didn't answer. Instead another wave of nausea went over them and they leaned over the toilet again. Remus got up and got their clothes and as soon they stopped puking he pretty much threw them at Remy.

Remy didn't look at the guy as they got out of the bathroom. Remus held them by the arm. He apologized to the guy. The guy said it was all good and told them both to stay safe and well.

The motel's halls all looked identical as they walked through them. The grip Remus had on Remy got tighter with each step.

"That kinda hurts" They mumbled.

He let up slightly "I'm just having a lot of intrusive thoughts"

"Why?"

"WHY?" He stopped in his tracks "Are you fucking kidding with me? You passed out when you were naked and alone with a stranger! Do I really have to spell out why that makes me so fucking worried I'm having intrusive thoughts!"

They shrugged "Girl who cares"

"You should care! He could have hurt you or kidnapped you or cut off your tounge or-or something else horrible!!"

"Maybe it's better off that way" Remy mumbled to themself so quiet Remus couldn't hear.

"An-and if you weren't being such a stubborn bitch right now with your whole lone wolf shit and OOH time to self isolate because that will tots make my boyfriends feel better we could have been having a fun night out right now! That guy was totally my type! We could have had partied a lil, had a fun time And if you passed out I would have been there at least! Me and Josh the coffee guy could have been sucking you off as we speak just saying"

They shrugged again and continued to walk.

"I just miss spending time with you that isn't me picking you up from somewhere! Don't you get that? I wanna see you smile again. I wanna be the reason you smile!"

"You have Janus"

When he tried to tell them he wanted Them just as much, that he wanted both with all of his heart they just walked faster and ignored him.

The cold night air hit them as they left the motel. He held onto them. His hand nearly wrapped around their upper arm.

"How much do you weigh?" Remus asked "And don't bullshit me, we both know you're weighing yourself somehow"

"108 pounds" They looked at him with a sick smile "My goal right now is to get get under 100"

He let go off them out of shock "You're 6'2 you realize that right? You wanna go coffin hunting next or something? There's a really nice spot right next to Rhys' grave y'know maybe you should check it out!"

They opened their mouth to respond but before anything came out their eyes rolled back into their skull and they fell forward onto the grass. Remus shot forward to help them up but they began to puke again. Their hands were shaking and their skin was so pale it barely looked like a human skin color anymore.

"I'm fine" They muttered out once verything had come up. It was all liquid and bile.

They tried to stand but fell back down again. Remus held out his hand and Remy looked like they wanted to chew it off and spit it back into his face. Their eyes were half open as they forced themself up on shaky legs. They continued to stumble forward without looking at their boyfriend.

Their sunglasses had slid down showing how deep their eye bags were. Their cheeks were so sunken in it cast shadows over their face and their leather boots kept gliding down because their legs were too skinny to hold it up.

Remus unlocked the car and Remy collapsed onto the passenger seat. Their eyes looked glossy and vacant. He began to drive. The enby stared out the window. They followed the birds on the dark sky with their eyes. They wished they could fly away too. Maybe soon their bones would be so hollow the wind could take them away into the sea.

After a few minutes he mumbled "When was the last time you ate?"

"4 days ago" Remy replied "Though I accidentally got some milk in my coffee yesterday. Had like a panic attack over it. Thought I'd ruined days of fasting"

Remus didn't say anything more. His grip on the steering wheel turned so tight it hurt. He locked the car doors without Remy noticing.

He stopped by a red light. He leaned over and tugged at their leather jacket "What the fuck are you doing!?" They hissed out while trying to force his hands away.

"Oh I dunno maybe I'm checking for those diet pills that have made you puke the night away!" He forced his hand down into their pocket.

"I only got 1!"

"Don't try and lie about puke pills to a bulimic person" He fetched a packet of diet pills from their pocket and held it up in front of them "You saw what these kind of pills did to me. First they worked great! And then suddenly my organs got messed up and I got bloated and looked fucking pregnant!"

"That's 'cause you were eating them like candy!" They tried to take the packet away from him.

He rolled down the window and threw it out "Babe it always starts with one"

"You're just angry 'cause I haven't been fucking you" Remy muttered while turning back to the window to sulk.

"Give me one good reason I would be mad at you for something as dumb as that" Remus replied.

"'Cause you deserve like the full package" (Because they thought they were worthless otherwise) "I dunno. I can suck you off while you drive if that'll make it up to you. I've already done that shit once today. I can do it again"

"You don't have anything to make up for babe. Besides I've already lost my drivers license once. Don't wanna risk it"

Now they were sure he was mad at them. "Me? Not having anything to make up for? Fuck off"

After a while Remy noticed they weren't the buildings they should have been passing by now if they were going home.

"Where are we?"

"I'm just taking a shortcut. Don't worry" Remus mumbled back while driving faster.

They stopped looking at the birds and started looking at the houses. After 5 more minutes of them driving somewhere they didn't recognize they asked again "Where are we? Where the fuck are we going?"

This time Remus didn't even answer.

"REMUS! Where are we going?"

"It's for your best" He replied. There were tears in his eyes when he glanced at them "I don't want to see you hurt like this anymore!"

"Tell me where we a-"

They stopped midsentence when the car drove into a parking lot. They read on the sign 'Arcadia psychiatric hospital'.

Remy let out a cold laugh "I knew it. I knew I would become to much of a burden and you would throw me out or leave me somewhere where someone else can take care of your mess of a partner!"

He stopped the car "I'm not leaving you! I'm doing what you're too blind to see is best for you!"

"Oh so the best thing for me is to force me into something I don't want to do? Wow babe that is like soooo good for me" There was venom in their tone.

"It's either this or me taking you home and forcing you to eat every single day. One of those things will help you more than the other for sure!"

"Why can't you see I'm just trying to do what's best for you and Janus! Fuck it! It's my body! I get to do whatever the fuck I want with it!"

"YOU'LL DIE!" Remus yelled. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

Remy looked him up and down. They took a deep breathe to keep their voice steady as they said "If you force me into that psych ward I will break up with you"

"I'd rather you break up with me a 1000 times than hurt your body and mind for another second" Remus tried to look sure even though his eyesight was blurry from tears.

He opened the car door before moving his arms up under Remy's arm and over their shoulders. He dragged them out of the car while they desperatly tried to hold onto anything in sight. He used his foot to make the door shut before continuing to force them towards the hospital.

"LET GO OF ME! I DON'T WANT TO! I HATE YOU! YOU'RE NOT MY BOYFRIEND ANYMORE YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!!" Remy shouted while using all their strenght to try and get away.

"I just want to help you" Remus mumbled. He kept his gaze at the front door of the hospital. He didn't want to look at his love's furious expression.

"THEY'LL DESTROY ME! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" They kicked and screamed and bit but nothing worked.

Remus forced them into the reception while they continued to scream. It was past 3 am so aside from the lady at the desk no one was in the room. He kept his arms tightly around Remy while he began to talk to her.

"Hello ma'am. I'm Remus Prince. I would like to involuntarily admit my partner here. Remy Siest. They're diagnosed with ednos but I'm pretty sure anyone would agree it's progressed into anorexia at this point"

Remy was hyperventilating at this point. They quickly shook their head "No! No! This-this man is schizophrenic or something! I've never seen him in my life! He forced me into his car! He should be here! Not me! I'm stable! I-I have stomach cancer that's why I'm so thin! I swear!"

The lady ignored Remy's pleas. She typed something on her computer before responding with "None of the Remy Siests that come up when I search look like him"

"Them" Remus corrected "We never had the money to change their name legally"

She took out a form for Remus to fill out. He was just happy he got to write their old name down instead of having to say it out loud.

Seeing him write their deadname at the top broke the last piece keeping Remy together. Their pleas turned into incomprehensible sobbing. No matter how many times they cried out a no or a plead to not be forced in there no one listened to them. They tried to run but Remus still had his hand around their wrist.

"It'll be okay babe. It'll help you" Remus promised after he'd finished filling out the form "I love you" He tried to kiss them but Remy leaned away.

"You're not my boyfriend anymore. You don't get to kiss me" They growled out.

The lady grabbed onto Remy's arm and forced them with her into the facility's cold hallways. Tears were still brimming at their eyes when they glanced back at Remus. With rage in their eyes they yelled out one last

"I Hate You!"