Tw: Minor eating disorder stuff

6 months later

"Can you double check?" Remy asked in a nervous tone. They kept shifting their footing and fiddling with the straps on their backpack.

"Sure" Janus replied before walking out into the psych ward's parking lot again. A few minutes later he came back in "Still no sign of your dad's car anywhere"

"He's not waiting for you. You're safe I promise" Remus reassured while keeping his hand on their shoulder.

Remy took a deep breathe before nodding. They held Janus' hand as they took their first step outside of the psych ward's walls in a bit over 7 months. They'd been deemed healthy enough to be allowed to leave. Logan had left 3 months earlier.

They hurried over to their boyfriend's car and put their suitcase and backpack in as fast as possible. It wasn't until they'd driven 5 minutes away from the ward they could breathe out. Not completely since Remus was driving and that means no 100% chance of safety but it was close enough.

"Darlingggg" Janus said in his silky smooth voice, he was very clearly hiding something behind his back "I couldn't get you a boquet of roses like I wanted but I got you something at least" He took out a single rose from behind his back and put it behind their ear.

"I'm usually not one for like classy romance but this is like tots cute" They replied.

"I had to find a flower that measured up to your beauty. I failed but a flower half as beutiful as you is better than nothing" Janus leaned close and pressed a kiss to their cheek which left them a blushy giggly mess.

20 minutes later Janus unlocked the door to their apartment. Without any warning Remus picked Remy up into his arms bridal style.

"What are you doing?" Remy asked.

"Just carrying you over the doorstep" Just like when they first moved in "I think we've both changed enough to deserve a second going at that. Only thing that's exactly the same is how much I LOOOOOVE you!"

"You're an advanced dork, I hope you know that" They murmured before moving their arms around his neck and kissing him.

Remus hadn't seen them smile as much as they did when he carried them over the doorstep in a while. Janus ushered them out of the way so he could drop their bags down in the living room. The duke got the urge to see if he could lift them both at once but he knew he wouldn't be able to because they weren't both underweight anymore. Wasn't that lovely.

(Sure Remy still wasn't a normal weight but they weren't malnourished anymore and their thigh gap was almost gone)

Remy looked at the kitchen and exclaimed "My love!" Remus let them down on the ground. They ran over to the coffee machine and hugged it. "I've missed you so much!"

"Wow that's almost as extra as me" Janus commented.

"Sssssshut up" Remy hissed out, trying to mimic their boyfriend's usual snake hiss.

Remus looked at his cock clock (clock that looks like cock) "Probs time to start dinner" It'd taken a while to get Remy written out of the ward because of all the health tests and weight in "Ro-bro has tried to teach me how to cook without setting things on fire and or putting things humans shouldn't eat in it!"

"He has made me try it and I can assure that he totally hasn't gotten better. He is still a hazard to everything cooked" Jan lied.

"Aww thanks!!"

He put on some rice and cooked some chicken bits. He also made som snazzy mushrooms and toasty carrots. It fit the amount of calories Remy had to have for dinner according to their new meal plan.

While their boyfriends cooked Remy went to the bathroom and shaved every part of their body that could be shaved except for their har and eyebrows. They put on one of their sport tops and when they looked at themself in the mirror again the horrible dysphoria they'd been feeling the past months melted away into oblivion.

They went back to the kitchen and took their newly made coffee. They idly listened to their boyfriends chatter. They loved seeing their boyfriends be in love. They felt like they were finally home again...they felt...safe.

Remy sipped on their coffee while looking at Janus lovingly. He was rambling about the latest documentary he and Logan had seen together.

His curves had started to return. It wasn't like how he used to look before his massive weight loss but his skin was warm again and his cheeks were soft instead of sunken in. Remy could admire his thighs for hours. And his hips and his chest and his- all of him. They could admire all of him. But especially the thighs because they were the epitome of perfect cuddle material.

"Is there an invisble alien behind me or something" Janus muttered sarcastically "Because honey you've been staring at me for a while"

"I tots want to bury my head between your thighs" Remy quickly added "IN A NON SEXUAL WAY!" Saved it "I know you don't want to like yeah I just kinda want head on lap and stuff"

Janus looked them up and down before letting out a short "Access denied"

Remy forced a thumbs up "I tots respect your decision and I am in pain!"

"Good" He continued on with whatever he'd been rambling about before "I will go a second more detailed course on psychology next semester which I am totally not excited about at all. It's about the development of the brain from early age to adulthood" Janus said while a small smile played on his lips "I can't wait until I'm working as a lawyer. I want to specialize in helping children so that no one has to stay with toxic pieces of shit like ehhhhh all of our parents. I want them to feel safe around me and get to be kids for just a little while"

"Girl that's tots adorable"

"I guess " He fiddled with his gloves "I really like the idea of taking care of kids....I think I can see myself as a dad one day"

Remy choked on their coffee before spitting it out and going into a coughing fit. Remus completely froze and dropped the spatula down into the pan.

"YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT!" Remus yelled. He wasn't angry, just very shocked.

"GIRL I WILL ACCIDENTALLY KILL A CHILD!"

"I WASN'T SAYING WE SHOULD GET ONE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Janus yelled back. "IT WAS HYPOTHETICAL FOR FAR INTO THE FUTURE! IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE YOURS! I can adopt....alone....?...?"

"IT WILL STILL LIVE HERE!!!" Remy exclaimed "FUCK! I shouldn't call a child it!"

Remus picked up the spatula again and waved it towards Janus "That's it! You're on table duty! Get out!"

Janus picked up a few plates and some cutlery and went to make the table ready while rolling his eyes. The Rems looked at each other with just as shocked and panicked expression.

"Okay okay okay I am not fit to be like a human being with a child but" Remus leaned against the stove "I would make a good DILF wouldn't I?"

"The best" Remy agreed "You already got the mustache. Now you just need that hot potent dad nut. I on tha otha hand don't wanna take care of some stupid annoying lil runt"

"You give of the vibe of that really cool gay aunt-uncle that always crashes the family parties with your new hubby. Or like the older cousin that like tells the kids crazy stories about parties and stuff. Y'know?"

"Oh yeah 100%" Remy glanced away from their love's wonderful eyes. Their expression instantly changed "THE STOVE IS ON FIRE!"

Remus spun around. Yep that was fire alright "FFUUUUUCCKKK!"

5 minutes later Remus was putting very burnt mushrooms on his plate. They were all sitting around the table with the burnt food in the middle.

"I seriously can't leave you two alone for more then 5 minutes without something going wrong huh" Janus asked rhetorically.

"In my defense I wasn't the one cooking" Remy replied while holding their hands up to look innocent.

"In my defense I was looking at Remy and their beauty blinded me" Remus added.

Janus squinted at him "Alright that is a good defense"

Somehow the food still tasted alright. Remy wouldn't know. While their boyfriends ate all they could do was stare down at their plate. They knew their thoughts were lying to them. They knew all the facts about the food being good for them. They should be able to-

"You good hun?" Remus asked. He'd already finished his meal. Janus had gotten through half of his plate.

"I uh yeah. Tots good. I just need some time. It's weird to like eat without nurses around me"

He reached out and took their hand "Take all the time you need"

Remy took a deep breathe and nodded. They held onto his hand harder as they took a reluctant first bite. "It's good" They mumbled while holding their hand over their mouth to make sure their body didn't force the food out. "It's good" They repeated. Tears formed in their eyes. "It's-it's good"

Janus got up and embraced them when their shoulder's started to shake from crying. He let them lean their head against his chest while he combed his fingers through their hair. Remus pressed a kiss to their hand.

"I'm okay. I just. It's a lot. Everything"

"Darling you're doing great" Janus said before pressing a kiss down into their hair.

"Thanks...I...I can eat...I just...Some distraction would help"

Remus shone up into a grin "Oh I'm great at that! Did you know that"

Half an hour later Remus had gone over in detail about the history of special effects in horror movies and somehow talked about his top 10 sculptured butts and also his ideal way to mop up blood after murder.

Remy ate the last bit of food on their plate and dropped their fork with a relieved sigh "Did it!"

They got showered in kisses and affection until they were blushing. Remus kissed them both before exclaiming "I hereby decide we're all doing fucking great with recovering!" He himself hadn't even thought about purging or exercising the calories away while eating. The only trace of his illness left in him was that he refused to go near the bathroom half an hour after eating. He was still worried his instincts would take over and he would purge it all up.

"Aww thanks dear" Janus kissed him back.

The negative thoughts were still in Janus' head whenever he ate but he was able to for the most part ignore them and focus on all the reasons eating was good for him. He'd even been able to go out on a walk with Remus the other day without thinknig about how many calories he was burning the entire time!

"Oh! That reminds me Picani gave me therapy homework!" Janus continued "I'm supposed to go grocery shopping alone"

(If he didn't have Remus or someone else with him to distract him he easily started to overthink about all the food around him and how many calories was in it all and how food would destroy how he looked until he eventually left the store to have a panic attack without buying anything)

"It'll go like tots great!" Remy replied.

"I hope so. It's been a while since my last panic attack and it's been even more time since I went to stores just to stare at food and imagine eating it to stop cravings"

"Hell yeah! Gays I think we deserve some cuddles for this aight?!"

Remus dragged them both over to the couch. He laid his arms around Janus and put on some obscure early 2000s horror movie (current hyperfixation) so he could infodump about it. Remy snuggled up on the other side of the snake.

Jan glanced over at his partner while casually saying "You may rest your head on my lap......As a reward for eating....that's the only reasons totally"

Remy's eyes widened and they rapidly looked between his face and his thighs "You sure?"

He nodded. Remy made themself comfortable on his thighs. They had on a big giddy grin because it was so soft and warm and lovely. God they adored their boyfriend so much.

"If I got to like do this every day eating would be tots super easy" They murmured.

"Shut up you drama queen" Janus replied while stroking his hand over their hair.

It was a calm evening. Remus continued to show them movies and infodump until Janus told him to continue tomorrow because it was late and he needed to hibernate for the night. They kissed their snake babe goodnight before going into their respective rooms.

Remus tried his best to get all of the piles of trash off the bed while Remy got their meds. He'd gotten to used to having the bedroom to himself. It was far too much power for a trash duke to have.

Remy popped a pill into their mouth and drank some water to get it down. It helped them fall asleep, didn't help with staying asleep but it was a start. They were also on antidepressant to help with the nightmares, flashbacks and to keep the suicidal thoughts away.

"Those meds have any side effects or?" Remus asked "My stimulants gives me super sucky headaches sometimes"

"The doc said I can't like drink alcohol or my liver will like legit die but that probs won't be a problem since I'm...sober...Ugh that's so like weird to say"

Remus reached out and lightly took their hand "Hey dear" They moved closer to him. He pressed a kiss to their hand "I've forgotten to say how good you're doing with the whole non drinking thingie. It's been like ehhh 8 months. Super sexy progress!"

They let up into a chuckle "Sure babe"

"OKay! Okay! Sleepy time Mx. Sleep!" He let go of their hand and stood up from the bed.

Remy took off their pants and shirt which left them in their nightwear. They sat on the edge of the bed. Their hand grasped onto the blanket until their knuckles whitened as they watched their boyfriend undress down to his underwear. Better to say it now then later.

"I...I don't really know if I like- if we can like...fuck for like a while"

Remus perked up "Oh okay cool...Does that mean you want me to keep my underwear on when I sleep or?"

"You're not gonna ask why? Seriously?? I mean yeah I would prefer if you kept it on I just I thought I dunno you were gonna have questions or something"

He sat down next to them and leaned his chin on their shoulder "Y'know there doesn't have to be a reason. Besides I think having an ED is reason enough. But sure if you wanna say go ahead"

They fiddled with the sleeve of their shirt "Talking with my therapist has brought up like A Lot and I just kinda can't stop thinking about it until I've worked through it with her y'know and it really makes me not wanna have like sex and stuff. I-I've never told you but" They took a deep breath. She'd said talking about it would help "My dad kinda sexually abused me"

Remus moved his arm around them "Then I have another reason to murder that bastard. I thought he was just physically...Sorry it happened"

"Sorry I didn't say anything till now. I didn't really know what happened counted as That"

"Honey you never have to apologize for stuff like that. You take your sweet time saying stuff when you're ready aight" He pressed a kiss into their hair. They leaned closer against his side. It was quiet for a minute or so before Remus quietly asked "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really"

"Aight. Wanna hear me ramble about animal teeth?"

"Hell yeah gal!"

He laid down with his head against the pillow while talking about which animals had the most teeth (snails). Remy cuddled up next to him. They leaned their head against his chest. It felt safe and familiar.

"Are you sure it's fine?" They mumbled out drowsily "I dunno how long it'll be before I've worked past it enough to like be able to like fuck again"

"Yeah yeah yeah of course. Take all the time you need. Besides" Remus looked at them with a giddy smirk "I have a lady friend now! I meet her at the gym. Her muscles are big and wonderful! We went on a date on like a beginners guide to boxing and she kicked my ass! It was awesome!! We kissed afterwards...On the lips!"

"That's nice. Very cute" They let out a quiet yawn "You gonna have to invite her over once you're like officially a couple so me, Jan and her can unionize against you"

Remus chuckled "I would love to see it"

"Mhm" Remy closed their eyes and cuddled closer to him. They fell asleep with his arms safely wrapped around them.

In the dream they were 12 year old Remy. They were hiding in the corner of their bedroom with their knees moved up to their chest. They had a headache from being shaken back and forth and their ribs hurt from fingers poking into them.

The door swung open so quickly it slammed into the wall. Remy cried out that they were sorry while desperately trying to move away even though there was no room left for them to go.

"Hey stop crying you sad rat fuck"

When they looked up it wasn't their dad coming to hurt them. It was Remus. 12 year old Remus with large gaps of missing teeth, dirty clothes and messy hair stuck in even messier pigtails.

A crash came from another room, like a glass had been broken. Remy flinched and tried to make themself smaller. Remus hunched down in front of them. He took their small skinny face in his hands and licked their tears away. He moved his finger over his lips.

"Ssssh. There's a deadly dragon in the other room" He whispered "But it's okay. I'll help you out of here. Just close your eyes"

Remy nodded before doing as told. They felt Remus take their hands in his. The yells and harsh sounds continued to come from the other room but when he was with them it suddenly didn't feel as scary anymore.

"Everything will be alright-

"-Alright? You alright? Hey babe you good?" Remus worried voice woke Remy up from their dream.

They blinked to stay awake. Remus had moved so he was slightly leaning over them, with his arms still protectively wrapped around them.

"You were whimpering. I thought you were having a nightmare" He said.

"I.....I don't think it was like a nightmare....It used to be...Not anymore"

"Okay. You think you're gonna go back to sleep? I can't. I'm having a bunch of intrusive thoughts about the apartment catching on fire while I'm asleep"

"Girl the apartment can't catch on fire. My hair would be tots ruined!" Remy whined.

"Babe I think more then just your hair would be ruined"

They gasped "MY CLOTHES TOO! Well now I don't wanna like sleep either. I don't wanna leave my disgusting rotten sweetiepie all alone"

"Aww how cute. We can scare JanJan awake and invite daddy and Lo over for a movie night"

"Hell yeah!"

They kissed before getting up from bed. They sneaked out into the living room and stopped outside the yellow painted door that led into Janus' bedroom. They nodded at each other before Remus kicked the door open and Remy did a not so cool somersault after him to look like a spy.

"WAKE UP YOU BANANACONDA-BITCH!" Remus screeched.

Janus sat up in bed as if he was Dracula himself and glared at him with The stare(tm). It looked even scarier because he had on a green beauty face mask. Remus promptly backed out of the room again.

Remy stayed laying on the floor "Sup babe" They did fingerguns "Wanna watch some movies???"

He glared at them before rolling his eyes. He got up "Sure. But only because you're so godamn loveable"

"Has that always been there or?" Remy asked while pointing at the ace flag hanging on the wall over the bed.

"I got it from princey. He didn't need it anymore. He's starting to think he might be demi now when he's been with Virgil for a while"

"Of course. The power of the emo never fails"

Remy called the loved dovey glasses duo to tell them to come over while Remus popped popcorn and Janus made the couch extra cozy.

30 minutes later Patton and Logan arrived and it become one big group hug because they all hadn't seen eachother in a while.

Lo had upgraded from a wheelchair to a pair of crutches. He was still very skinny but his skin wasn't leatherlike anymore and he could walk for more then 10 minutes without having to sit down. He didn't even get lightheaded when he walked up stairs (!!).

Patton was still his big ground self, maybe he'd lost a bit of weight but only a healthy amount from being able to go out more because of the meds and therapy. More importantly the bags under his eyes were gone and his smile looked more genuine than ever. He seemed to radiate with happiness especially now when he was with his friends (and boyfriend).

Remus made himself comfortable with Janus sitting in his lap, he had his arms wrapped around the snake's waist. Lo and Pat sat closer together and very cutely held hands. Remy laid stretched out across the slightly older men's laps.

"So Lo....You wanna watch mean girls?" They asked with a smirk.

"I will disintegrate every single one of your cells one by one and transplate them one by one into ants which I will then crush under a boulder" Logan replied while looking at them as if they'd attempted murder.

"High school musical it is then! The whole trilogy!" Remus exclaimed. No one objected because hey it's high school fucking musical.

A heated debate started on who was the better twin between Sharpay and Ryan. And then an even more heated debate on whethere Chad was gay for Ryan or for Troy. It ended with the genius argument that all 3 of them could be gay together.

Logan casually started running his fingers up and down Remy's ribs which made it tickle a little bit in the nice way "Sorry I didn't visit you for 1 month and 11 days"

"It's okay girl. I had these otha bitches to annoy me anyway"

"Well I would have gladly been one of those so called bitches but I was busy. I have started working again. I am an intern at a" He said something so sciency Remy barely understood it "And I have been to very frequent physiotherapy and I have some very glad news about that"

He reached down and dragged off the sock on his paralyzed leg. He moved his toes. Holy shit he moved his toes! He hadn't done that since getting into the coma.

Remy's eyes widened. Actually everyone's eyes did except for Patton who already knew about it. There came a congrats, a hug, a cheer, another hug.

"The doctor says I should be able to walk again in 6 months if I keep recovering as fast as I am right now" Logan said with a smile.

"If there's one thing my honeypie is good at it's getting better" Patton added before pressing a kiss to his cheek "That and all the other 5 billion things he's good at"

"Pff bit of an exaggerated number but sure" There was a hint of blushing on his cheeks.

"We're gonna celebrate his betterment by going stargazing on Saturday. It's gonna be very....fun" Patton mimicked putting a ring on a finger behind Lo's head so only the other's saw. They all tried to hide their excited expressions.

"Well to celebrate I think we should all have a sleepover" Janus suggested to which everyone agreed.

they all moved closer to each other so they were in one big happy cuddle pile. High school musical 2 started and the only feeling in the room was happiness.