My eyes flutter open and shut in that half-awake half-asleep state, the sheets are awfully warm... in fact, I don't remember ever being this warm when I wake up. My eyes start to shut again deciding for themselves they'll have a few more minutes-

Slow bursts of hot air pulses against my neck... a grunt from behind me forcing my eyes open. The first thing they take in is the flurry of snow settling outside the window reminding me I'm in New York... the next eye-opener is the mess of objects and broken items that lay on the floor, a pile of soggy clothes in the corner of the room and... oh my god- my ribbon. My ribbon is strewn across the duvet, my hair tangled wildly around my face.

I'm hit with the memories from last night... well morning, my cheeks blushing a furious red. I can't believe that I- well i- I did... that.

Holy shit. Holy shittttttttt.

I'd always been so petrified to... you know... do that but looking back I can't deny it's been building over the past few weeks, finding myself wanting more every touch he gave me or every kiss no matter how passionate, my body craved more from him. When he touched me in the pool... I knew there was no way I could have stopped there, even if I wanted to. It was... it was like... ugh- I'm so fricking sheltered in this department I don't even have any words. it was... well it was fricking amazing. Something so raw and intimate passed between our two souls last night, it couldn't have been more perfect.

I slowly crane my neck around to see Blaze snuggled behind me with his head resting in the crook of my shoulder, keeping me flush against his chest with his arm around my waist. His hair lays unruly over his forehead, a deep raven black against the pillow. His eyelashes flutter against the welt on his cheekbone from just last night even though the fight feels like it was ages ago. So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours. I reach out to touch it, his skin hot beneath my finger, I move along his cheek and down his jaw drawing down the small line of stubble and pointed cheekbones. His flaming skin soft and a beautiful golden beneath my pale chilled fingertips. I drag my finger tentatively along his chin and up to his lips, plump and soft. He's so beautiful I could spend hours staring at him, commemorating every tiny detail to memory. He looks peaceful when he sleeps for the first time in a while, his features are relaxed and he looks more youthful despite the painful reminders on his face of the weight he carries.

Suddenly he jerks slightly taking my finger in between his lips and biting playfully, I shriek in shock as his hot tongue circles my skin and it ignites the aching desire inside me again, making me feel all squiggly.

"Morning Blondie." He says letting go of my finger and pulling me closer to him.

"Hi," I mumble into the sheets feeling nervous now. What if I was so tragically awful last night-

"Ah come on, don't go shy on me now, love. You definitely weren't last night-" I slam my hand over his mouth, his eyebrows arch up with challenge and a deep chuckle vibrates through my palm. My cheeks could light a match right now. Last night defiantly bought out parts of me- specifically noises- that I didn't know I possessed. "Don't be embarrassed butterfly." He winks and nips playfully at my fingers again. "I certainly enjoyed all those..."

Suddenly his demeanour changes and he takes a big breath avoiding my gaze, "I better get this shit cleaned up." His head hangs slightly as he takes in the broken glass surrounding us. He rolls off the bed and immediately I yearn for that warmth. I go to move after him and freeze when my legs and... certainly... between my... thighs complain. Oof. My muscles scream at the sudden rush of movement.

"Sore?" Blaze looks up from the floor with a smug grin. I nod, biting the inside of my cheek. It hurt but once I'd gotten a little more... adjusted to Blaze (And the fricking rumours are one hundred per cent... that boy is... uh big) it was uncomfortable and I didn't... finish the same way I did in the pool but he promised it would get better. I didn't mind the fact that it was uncomfortable, there was something more intimate and loving between us as our bodies melded together. Even with my hands... tied...

Honestly I uh... loved it... just as much as when my hands were free to roam over his body, It felt good putting my trust in Blaze like that. I'm proud of myself.

"Here." My head jolts up, lost in my post-sex recap I hadn't realised he'd moved to the bed. He holds out a couple Tylenol and a capped bottle of water with a smile that makes all pain disappear in an instant. He's too gorgeous for his own good. I accept them gratefully and watch his inked, taunt shoulders as he goes back to sweeping things off the floor.

I move slowly to help Blaze with the mess but he quickly gets up and grabs me pinning me back against the bed, "Nope. This is my mess. You just get ready, I want to take you somewhere today- somewhere... special." He smirks, I can feel this heart beating against my own chest, speeding as he places a kiss on my neck, his blazing chest pressed against my bare collar bones, the heat from him drawing goosebumps across my naked skin. "Shower." He instructs nodding to the ensuite bathroom as he wanders back to the mess.

I peel myself across the room to the bathroom and stop in the doorway clutching the comforter to my bare body... am I really going to... should I... no.. well-

"Would you uh... well... do you want to... shower..." Blaze looks up from the glass he's sweeping, a smile setting on his lips, "Too?" I hop from foot to foot, tugging the blanket further around me.

"Who is this person? What have you done with my Atlas... quiet and shy... she's been replaced with a minx." He teases getting off the floor and wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing just below my ear as I shiver.

"I mean... just like... shower...I'm sorry but... I don't think I can.. uh, you know... again." There's no way I could do it again so soon and I feel bad... especially since I can feel Blaze digging into my back.

"Don't apologise, I wouldn't expect you to Butterfly." He kisses my neck again pushing us into the bathroom, "Besides there are other things we can do..."

After our... long... shower we finally get dressed and make our way downstairs, Blaze expertly avoiding the communal areas as we descend through the house. Even avoided I can still feel the heavy tension in the air. I squeeze Blazes' hand that's tugging me along and he casts a weary smile back at me, distance growing in his tired eyes.

As we reach the last step of the staircase Blazes pace quickens and my short legs struggle to follow behind him. I think he finds some amusement in my obvious short person struggle because as he reaches for the front door handle I see the hint of a smirk amongst the vacancy in his eyes. He flings the door open, cold snowy air hitting my cheeks-

"Blaze." A voice veers from the kitchen, Blaze freezes, jaw hardening and his hand tightens around mine. "Could you come in here please?" It's his moms' voice, small tremors line the endings of her words. Blaze hovers by the door, the snowy air still floating over us. The conflict clear in his troubled eyes. I wouldn't blame him if he just walked out and left but I know he wouldn't do that to his mom- not now. That's proven when he shuts the door, inhales deeply and tilts his head to the ceiling.

"Come on." I tug on his hand bringing his eyes back to mine, I smile supportively and some of the tension in his jaw seems to vanish. I really hope his mom isn't going to scream at him again, I understand she was hurt and I love Helen I really do, I look up to her often but I don't want to see Blaze in the same state as last night. No, I will not see him in the state, it tore me in two and he's been through enough pain. I'll put my fricking foot down before she tears him apart like that again.

As we round the corner into the large kitchen, Blaze grandparents give us worrisome smiles behind their mugs and Helen gets up off her stool. From behind Blazes taunt back I can see the red skin around her fingernails and dark bags under her eyes. I feel sorrow for her but quite frankly I'm more angry at her than sympathetic. She may feel awful but Blaze feels worse, he might have cried it out last night but it's still weighing heavily on him and it probably will for a while.

She attempts to move towards us but when Blaze makes no move to walk towards her she stays put.

"Blaze... honey..." Her eyes gloss over and I automatically want to hug her but I won't, I squeeze Blaze's hand again watching his chest move slowly. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for how I behaved last night. I shouldn't have said what I did. I didn't mean it. I was so angry and hurt and, I'm just so sorry." A tear falls down her cheeks and she holds her wobbling lip between her teeth.

"Mom. Please don't cry." Blaze lets out an exasperated sigh. The tension coiling its way through his muscles is evident and he's holding back the fury that threatens to spill out of his mouth. He's angry at her but it destroys him just the same to see her upset. Anger is his first language but when he looks back at me with conflict in his eyes I know he's not going to let it control him. He takes in a calculated breath, "I know you were mad and I guess you have right to be but I was trying to protect you. Admittedly not the best way to have done it but I didn't do it because I was falling backwards, truthfully. And I'm not going to deny last night didn't hurt, it did a lot and last night I let my anger control me and I know that was wrong too but I'm trying mom. It hurts the most you couldn't see that. I'm trying for you and Gemma and Atlas and everyone I care about, I'm trying because I owe it to the person who made me see it was worth trying." He looks back with his cool blue eyes a small smile tugging at his lips and I almost melt, my heart flutters erratically. "I love you and I know you said things in the heat of the moment but you made a mistake and I've made enough of them to not be hypocritical about it. Today is a new day, a fresh start and although I know we have a lot to talk about I want to put last night behind us... if you will."

I'm sure in this moment I couldn't be more proud of the guy next to me, the control and reserve adds to his dominance, everyone gawking at him. He holds control of the room and not in fear in admiration. His words echo around me, filling my heart with a deep warmth that no one else has ever accomplished to make. He said what he needed to without breaking the room up or doing something reckless.

Helen's hand flys to her mouth holding the sobs before she barrels into him, taking him off guard, and hugging him so tightly I think my quarterback might burst.

"I'd like that. And... and I know you've changed Blaze, that just proves it. I'm so sorry I hurt you, baby. This Blaze is my boy, the smart, intelligent one. I love you." She muffles into his shirt.

"Do you kids want breakfast?" Shirley asks with a bright smile, lowering her mug to the counter.

"No thanks, I'm taking Atlas into the City but... we'll talk later? It might be a little while mom, it really hurt last night but I'll try if you will." He says directing the last bit at his mom. She nods eagerly detaching herself from him.

"Where are you planning to go?" Bennett asks half looking at the discarded paper by his mug.

"Ah, it's a surprise." Blaze shoves one hand in his jean pocket and the other back into my grip, I smile at him remembering the last surprise was the date at the butterfly sanctuary. If it's anything like that again I think I might just cry.

Shirley's lips curl higher before she makes a face like she's left the house with the straighteners still on. "Oh! Before I forget to say, can you give us a ring when you're done? Helen and I are taking Atlas shopping later." She potters in draws. Shopping...? Do they want to go shopping with me? "Girls Trip." She winks and Blaze groans.

"Right, we're going now." Blaze starts tugging me out of the kitchen, Bennett laughing in our wake. "I hope you're wearing comfortable shoes Blondie." He says as we reach the door, I frown, "My nana probably holds the world record for the amount of time she spends buying designer crap in one shopping trip." He moans and I give him a light push as he stumbles through the door, making the frame look small against his build. When in reality it's like the doors of a cathedral.

"Oh shush, I for one am honoured she wants to take me shopping." I stride across to one of Bennetts overly expensive cars but Blaze catches me and pulls me towards his chest before I can open the door.

"You would be. I think it should be the other way round and I'm sure she feels that way too.

You're too fucking precious butterfly. A fucking diamond in the rough." He bends down and presses his lips to mine, they feel like a fire in the cold flurry of snow settling on our winter wear, "I love you." He breathes onto my cheek, flakes of snow reflecting a dark blue in his eyes.

"I love you Quarterback and I'm proud of what you did in there. But there's one person you forgot to mention who is owed the most out of you trying. The person who really made it happen and deserves it more than anyone else in the world." He looks at me puzzled and I place a kiss on his cheek under the bruise, "Yourself."

After navigating the horrendous city traffic and managing to find a parking space, Blaze leads me down a calmer street, tall townhouses with dark coloured doors and rail lined steps stand picturesquely on opposite sides of the street, small independent cafes and stores peek in between the houses. Signs peeling and tables and chairs rusting. Despite the ageing definition the street still looks magical in the snow, thick white patches on the sidewalk and once green leaves catching the icy clouds in their canopy.

Blaze's hand has tightened on mine since I was unable to make it a few steps without slipping, I'm glad it bought him amusement when I landed on my ass though.

"Are we nearly there?" I ask watching our hands swing in between us, I really should be watching my feet but the thrill of his touch is too distracting even gloved.

"It's just up the end of the street, patience small one." His lips turn into an annoyingly sexy smirk.

"You're one to talk about patience." I challenge.

"I waited long enough to eventually kiss you didn't I?"

"Nuh-uh- that doesn't count as patience. That counts as fear and hesitation." Blaze gasps pulling his free hand to his chest with faux hurt.

"Blasphemous. I was not fearful." I giggle, he was so fearful but I love that, it was just another one of Blaze's boulders to help him remove from his shoulders. I'm about to retort when Blaze stops, I walk straight into the side of him and he manages to catch me right before I fall back to meet the sidewalk.

"Clumsy." He winks alluding at the flush on my cheeks. We've reached the end of the street, it joins the main road which is evident from the yellow taxis hurtling past us, lights creating a glow under the snowy sky. We're stood in front of another storefront, one that looks even older and shabbier than the rest on this street.

The sign is dark green with a gold livery that's beeling and cracked at the edges of the letters. The wood is damp and splintering bleeding into the dust-covered windows. A long heap of snow rests where the store meets the sidewalk but you can just about see the tops of drenched lilac and yellow flowers- possibly just weeds but nonetheless look beautiful against the snow.

"Come on." Blaze tugs my hand, he looks gleeful and giddy. His eyes are bright and he gnaws on his plump bottom lip like he's slightly nervous but happy.

We pass under the sign, BookJackers, and Blaze pushes the door open. The ringing of a bell stands against the silence inside. The smell of worn pages and old ink hits me warming me from the inside out against the cold. The smell of bound paper calms me, something about the discoloured pages has a serenity about them.

Particles of dust fill the air under the small bursts of yellow light from the hanging lights. I wouldn't be surprised if they were the same ones from when this place opened... years ago. There are rows of old, delicate books, some of the spines have seen better days but the titles stand out more so in brighter colours against the dark hardbacks. The space looks quite tight but upon peering around a case of historic novels I can see they go back in an odd formatting right to a little seating area with mismatched chairs and couches.

This place brings a smile to my face. It reminds me of the one back in Atlanta and its general wear and tear make it more homely. The piles of books around the property blocks out the natural light from the sidewalk casting homely darkness across the store, it just needs a little fire in the corner and a few socking hanging over the blaze. I want to reach out and run my fingers over the well-loved pages and feel the weight of a good old hardcover in my hands.

I look up at Blaze whose staring admirably at the space, lost in his own world. It's so fricking cute. I watch as he scans each row of books carefully, looking more at the shelves or the walls rather than the actual stock.

I wander over to the nearest shelf and tentatively run my finger along the spines slowly pulling out one to look at. It's heavy- holy shit.

I squeal and nearly drop the oversized book on my toes. A pair of eyes stare back at me from the other side of the shelf.

"May I help you, child." A charming grin accompanies the green scheming eyes that crease at the edges, big rimmed glasses frame the green iris'. I feel a hand on my lower back and the smooth chuckle behind me.

"It's alright Blondie." Blaze takes the book from my hands and squats lower so he can see the eyes, "Mr Jacker." He nods. The man gasps and quickly stands giving us a flash of a cream cardigan and khaki pants through the small gap where a book belongs, a green bowtie throwing off his colour scheme completely.

"I know I'm old and my eyesight is preposterously horrendous at the most significant of times but... Blaze Beckett as I live and breath, is that really you?" Mr Jackers steps out from behind the shelf, his eyebrows raised to his quiffed salt and pepper hair, comical round glasses now being cleaned with haste. "My lord above it is. Shirley told me you'd come home, was gushing if I am to be unequivocally honest but I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen you in the flesh. Crikey, you look well. Not a lanky kid anymore." He chuckles with disbelieve looking up and down the size of Blaze. "And why, you've bought a lady friend."

I blush under the scrutiny of the man, he seems harmless, sweet actually and when he smiles I return the gesture with warmth.

"Mr Jacker, this is my girlfriend Atlas. Atlas this is Mr Jacker, he owns the store, friends with my grandparents. My nana used to bring me here a lot when I was younger." The man shakes my hand delicately and chuckles.

"A lot. You spent your life growing between these four walls Blaze," He turns to me, still holding my hand, "Couldn't get him to leave. Quite the bookworm." Blazes ears glow a faint pink and I remember what he told me about his love for reading growing up when we were in Atlanta. "I can't believe it. You look well, I've heard a lot from your grandparents. It's really good to see you, Blaze." And they delve into a conversation that spans over the last few years, they occasionally involve me but I'm happy to just watch Blaze light up when he speaks to this man, I can see why he's a friend of Shirley and Bennetts. "Anyway, I'll let you do what you presumably came to do, your usual spot's not moved." He winks at Blaze and nods at me before scurrying back between the shelves.

"You're adorable." I poke his cheek and he catches my finger, biting the tip with a frown.

"I'm the furthest thing from adorable. Hunky, sex god, masterpiece and definition of hot are all suitable replacements should you change that sentence." I giggle at this arrogance as he drags me to the back of the store plonking down on a velvet emerald green chaise lounge. The chair creaks under his weight and practically convulses when he pulls me down onto him so I'm lying on his chest. My cheeks flush at the close proximity and the fact that Mr Jackers could see us.

"Ah, he won't mind." Blaze shrugs and places a warm kiss on my forehead. With a sigh I give in and rest my head on his chest, his fingers already exploring the strands of my hair. "This was one of my favourite places growing up, I'd spend hours pouring over the books in here. Reading classics and fiction. I haven't been back in years and it's something that's special to me, so I wanted to bring you here." He leans over to grab a book from the table next to the chair and I kiss his chest.

"Thank you," I mumble watching him open the book with one hand... Romeo and Juliet. I groan watching amusement gather in his eyes. Of all the Shakespeare plays, why that one?

"I thought you liked romances." He waggles his brows flipping to the beginning page, absentmindedly drawing circles with his thumb on my hip.

"I do, I'm a complete and utter hopeless romantic but that's not a romance... it's ludicrous. Firstly Romeo just wanted to get in Juliet's pants, it was not love he was horny... and secondly, they both die at the end and it's not even tragic because it just sounds so stupid." I protest. It's one of the most stupid plays ever written.

"Aren't those the best kind of romances... trials and tribulations and all that crap?" Even holding one of the most famous love play's ever written the boy can still make something so crass.

"They were fourteen," I say exasperatedly. He chuckles, the deep rumble tightening my stomach, a patch of goosebumps breaking out where his thumb still is.

"Shh, my cynic." He says kissing my forehead before divulging into the world of Shakespeare. I could listen to Blaze for hours, even if he is reading the worst play ever written.

Hey hey guysss! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!! If you did please hit that star button! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm sorry if my updates are a little all over the place right now, I'm moving on Friday to Uni so hopefully when I get there I'll establish a better updating schedule! But as always thanks for reading and I can't believe we're close to 200k reads... the actual fuck 🥺