AN: Thanks for clicking on my story! If this is actually getting any reads, honestly, I think I'll die XD. I hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS: Profanity, Fluff, Angst (??), Intense Kissing

WORD COUNT: 3517

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"So what did you think?" Izuku could hear the loud, boisterous voice of Ashido from the lounge as he stood in the kitchen. Undoubtably she was asking whoever was with her about her brand new onesie she had bought at the weekend. Izuku had, unfortunately, already been victim to her catwalk as she showed it up. It was nice enough, he supposed, if you liked oversized, pink balls of fluff that you stuffed your body into. Izuku wondered how she even managed to walk in it, let alone get down the stairs, or sit down.

Grabbing a tray from the cupboard, Izuku evenly placed the seven cups of steaming hot coco on it, lifting it experimentally to test its balance before picking it up with both hands. Making sure to concentrate fully on not letting any of the hot liquid spill, he carefully took a step fowards, then another, making his way towards the living room where his friends resided.

The December cold had managed to seep into their dorm, since someone (cough cough HAGAKURE) left a window open. Why she had even thought having a window open in the middle of winter was beyond him, but Izuku had thought maybe some hot chocolate would ease the chill in their bones. He was wrapped up in his All Might pyjamas, a red blanket tucked under one arm and once-white-now-a-dirty-cream coloured slippers on his feet. His ears tingled and he suddenly wished he was wearing earmuffs too. How wonderful would that be.

After a tedious minute, Izuku made it across the hall and into the lounge. Todoroki, Kirishima, Kaminari, Ochaco, Asui and Yaoyorozu sat scattered among the couches, their eyes focused on Ashido as she pranced across the room in her ridiculous outfit. Todoroki was sitting on the floor as he always did, his back against the arm of one of the over-stuffed loveseats. Yaoyorozu was sitting in said seat, her hand draped over the side and her fingers entangled in her boyfriends two-toned hair. Kirishima, Kaminari and Ochaco were comfortably nestled in the large sofa, their legs curled up beneath them in a futile attempt to preserve their warmth. Asui was perched in the other loveseat, a large woollen blanket wrapped tightly around her. They were all shivering, apart from Todoroki, who didn't seem at all bothered by the freezing air. Izuku envied him for a brief moment, before continuing forwards and placing the tray of mugs on the coffee table.

Well, he meant to do that. Instead, he got about three steps away when one of his dirty slippers decided to not stay on Izuku's foot. When he brought his bare foot back down towards the ground, the cold wood against his sole made him jump, the tray wobbling precauriously. Izuku tried to backtrack, his toes searching for the lost slipper but the remaining footwear had no grip, and he slid as his unbalanced form toppled towards the ground. A small yelp emitted from the boy's mouth as he expected the impact of the floor and then the impact of the boiling liquid, but neither came. He felt a rough, calloused hand tightly clutching his arm, the other hand supporting Izuku's own, making sure he didn't drop the tray. It was like time had stopped, just for a moment. Like the whole world had frozen. There was no movement, no sound other than Izuku's heavy breathing and-

"What are you doing, shitty nerd?"

The teen's eyes widened and he jerked upright, suddenly fearful, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest. Luckily, the tray of hot chocolate had already been snatched out of his hands by the person who had caught him in the first place. Izuku whirled in a panic to face none other than Katsuki Bakugo.

"Kacchan!" Izuku squeaked, his voice shaky. "I-I...Sorry, I d-didn't mean-"

"What are you fucking apologising for?" Katsuki muttered, his face stormy as he effortlessly moved by the stammering teen to place the hot chocolates on the wooden table. Shockingly enough, there were no spillages.

"I...I slipped, y-you caught m-me..." Izuku stuttered, his voice low and apologetic. He had found in the past that it was best not to show too much defiance to the angry blond, especially in confined spaces such as this. It tended to have disastrous consequences.

Katsuki shot Izuku a glare before moving past him and flopping into an empty armchair. "Yeah, so? That was my decision. You don't have to say sorry for me catching you, you idiot."

Izuku looked down, an uncomfortable hotness rising up in his cheeks. He blushed, embarrassed, and turned away, looking for somewhere to sit. Seeing nowhere and not wanting to sit on the floor, Izuku turned and plopped down next to Katsuki, pressing himself up against the side so as not to accidentally touch him.

Whilst the explosive boy had been much more lenient and less annoyed by what Izuku did recently, he didn't want to push it too much. Keeping his green eyes away from the red ones he could feel burning into the side of his head, Izuku cleared his throat and looked up at his friends.

Like they had only just realised they were previously having a conversation before the two boys had arrived, they hurriedly resumed.

"L-look, it even has a tail!" Ashido exclaimed, somewhat hesitantly, before jumping around and turning to wiggle her butt at the group, showing off the little ball of fluff that was not very different to the big ball of fluff she was currently wearing. Then the pink-haired girl bounded forwards and somehow managed to sit on the floor in front of the table and snatched up one of the mugs. "Hot chocolate! Thanks, Midoriya," she grinned, before taking a long sip. "Mm, that's so good!"

Izuku reaches forward to take his own, as did the others. He noticed Todoroki hadn't moved. "Todoroki-kun, don't you want one?" he asked, trying not to accidentally lock eyes with Katsuki who, for some reason, was still staring at him.

"No thank you," he declined politely. "It's too sweet for my tastes."

Yaoyorozu chuckled. "He pretty much only eats rice. It's like he doesn't know what flavour is."

The rest of the group laughed good-naturedly, all taking tentative sips of the hot liquid. Izuku took a short moment to mentally prepare himself before he reached forwards, picking up the unclaimed mug with his free hand and twisted to offer it to the boy beside him.

Katsuki still had the angry, offensive look in his ruby eyes, but Izuku detected a hint of surprise. There was silence for a moment, almost like everyone was holding their breath. Izuku mentally hit himself. What was he doing, giving a hot chocolate to Kacchan? Kacchan would rather die than accept a drink from-

Then the mug was gone from his grasp and Katsuki was holding it up to his lips, gulping it down. When he had somehow downed half of the boiling liquid, he saw the groups shocked gazes and scowled. "What the fuck are you looking at?" he growled. They all turned away, Ashido having a slightly cocky grin on her face, except Todoroki. Izuku watched him from the corner of his eye has he...not stared, but studied. Like he was seeing something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Then Yaoyorozu twisted a lock of his hair around her finger and he snapped out of it, looking up and sending her a look of content.

"What are you doing for Christmas, Deku?" Ochaco piped up, her eyes shining bright as she grinned.

"Oh," Izuku smiled, suppressing the sharp pain in his chest. "I-I'm going home, to be with my Mum. She doesn't really have anyone else to be with, since it's just me and her. What about you, Uraraka?" he asked, desperate to change to subject. Katsuki was staring at him again. What had he done this time?

Ochaco beamed like she had been waiting for the question. "My parents and I are going to England! I've been working really hard on my English recently, so I hope I can communicate with the natives too. I can't wait!" She paused before turning to the rest of the group. "What are you all doing for Christmas?"

Yaoyorozu sent a loving gaze down to the boy to her right. "Shouto is staying at mine for the holidays. My family are so excited to meet him. I can't wait for them to meet you either. They're going to love you." Todoroki grunted, his expression as impassive as ever.

"I'm not really doing much, kero," Asui said, not sounding disheartened surprisingly. "I think I'll just stay at the dorms. My parents won't be home, so it'll be nicer for me to stay here."

Ochaco, on the other hand, looked distraught. "You're not doing anything for Christmas?" she exclaimed, jumping up off the couch and leaping over to practically sit on Asui's lap. "How could you not be doing anything for Christmas?"

Asui shrugged, blinking her big eyes. "It's not that big of a deal, kero. I don't mind."

Vigorously shaking her head, Ochaco clutched the frog-girl's shoulders. "You will not spend Christmas by yourself."

Asui looked uneasy, but not uncomfortable, although she had a light blush dusting her cheeks. "I'm sure there will be others staying h-"

"Nope!" Ochaco interrupted. "I will not stand for this! I'll call my parents, you can stay with me!"

A surprised expression on her face, Asui smiled lopsidedly. "Ochaco-chan, I couldn't do that, kero. I wouldn't want to be a bother."

As Izuku watched the exchange between the two girls, he shifted to sit more comfortably, completely forgetting he was sharing the armchair with someone. His shoulder and knee brushed against the boy beside him and Izuku tensed, expecting an explosion to light up next to his face, or an angry yell to echo through the room, but nothing came. Casting a gaze to his right, he saw that Katsuki was watching him wearily. He still had a bad-tempered expression on his features, but it was more like they were masking something. Another feeling. He studied his features, trying to take in as much of the detail as he could in as little space as possible. The crease between his eyebrows as he frowned, the downward curve of his cupid's bow, the naturally narrowed eyes from his heritage that Izuku knew came from his mother.

"What, Deku?" Katsuki hissed, and Izuku jerked back, realising he had been staring for far too long and hadn't even moved away. That uncomfortable heat rose again and Izuku turned his face away. His hot chocolate was still clutched in his cold fingers so he raised it to his lips, sipping it as he purposely avoided looking at the blond.

"Bakubto!" At the shout, Izuku felt Katsuki's eyes leave him as he turned to look at Kirishima, who was grinning. "What about you?"

Katsuki said nothing, simply raised an eyebrow in a silent, somehow angry question.

"For Christmas," Kirishima elaborated. "What are you up to?"

Katsuki scoffed. "Fucking nothing. Just going home, staying with my fucking parents. It'll be fucking boring."

Kirishima pouted. "Aw, I'm sure it won't be that bad! What do you want for Christmas?"

"I don't know. My parents'll get me some shitty present, with some shitty card too."

They continued to talk, discussing more on what they were planning this year. Kaminari told everyone he wanted to have a Christmas where it wasn't all crazy and where everyone could just relax. Apparently his mother ran around like a headless chicken trying to get everything organised. Then the conversation turned to past Christmases, and funny stories from years ago. That was when Izuku tuned out, not wanting to hear the happy memories of people's childhoods in fear of the painful ones of his own returning to invade his mind. It was working wel, for a while, simply residing in his own mind and ignoring the outside world, until he heard his own name.

"What's a funny story from one of your Christmases, Midoriya?" Ashido queried, her eyes bright with laughter from tales that Izuku had missed.

"Oh, uhm..." Izuku wished she hadn't of asked him. He wished he was up in bed, away from this room, from his friends, able to hide from his past and only live in the present, dream of the future. "I..."

"Can't you think of something? Anything?" the black-eyed girl pressed. Izuku knew she didn't mean to be rude, to pry, but all he wanted to do was yell for her to shut up, leave him alone. It was all too much, the memories, the cold, the darkness and the yells, the hunger and the pain...oh God, the pain.

Then, an unlikely voice came to his rescue. "Leave the stupid nerd alone. Can't you see he doesn't want to fucking talk about it?" Katsuki snapped, suddenly on his feet, eyes burning with a ferocity Izuku was used to being directed at him, not defending him. The blond glared at the group, all of which were staring wide eyed at the fuming boy and the greenette behind him, quivering on the armchair. The confusion, the old memories that were resurfacing, the worried gazes of his friends as they tried to understand, it was all too much.

Izuku leapt to his feet and fled the room, heading for the stairs that lead to the boy's floor. He could feel the tears, the pressure building up behind his eyes as the salty liquid welled up, blurring his vision. Izuku only made it halfway up before he stopped, collapsing on the landing halfway between floors, back pressed against the wall as he slid down it. Knees up to his chest, face buried in his palms, Izuku tried to fight the feelings that had left such an impression on his life, but they were stronger. It had been a long time since Izuku had had an attack like this, but soon the sobs were racking through his body, shaking his very core as he silently sobbed. He couldn't breathe, his belly hollowing as he tried to suck in some air, oxygen, anything to replace whatever was causing this thudding in his head, this roaring in his ears. Izuku tried to calm, some vague voice telling him he was having a panic attack, but it was ignored. He felt like he was going to explode, unable to draw in breath, unable to open his eyes. Suddenly, he was six years old again, in his apartment. The thuds, the muffled screams, the searing pain on his back from the welt that had been whipped on. He was crying as he had on those nights, the heartwrenching sobs muted as Izuku kept his hands clutched over his mouth so that he wouldn't hear him, he wouldn't come back.

"Jesus fucking-" a rough voice said, familiar words said in a softer tone than usual. Izuku wanted to look up, see the speaker, but he stayed curled up. At this point, he wasn't sure if he could even move.

"Deku, what the fuck are you...Deku? Jesus..." There was a thud, the sound of someone landing heavily on the floor. "Deku, look up. Look up!"

Izuku tried, he did. He wanted to raise his head, lock eyes with the boy he knew was knelt in front of him, but it was like his body had stuck in place, his knees up high against his chin, head down.

"Deku, calm down. Stop crying. Deku. Deku." The tears didn't stop, the gasping breaths so shallow that the green-haired boy felt like he was going to pass out. Or maybe he was dying. Was this what death felt like? "Deku, look up. "Deku." A pause, then two hands were resting on his shoulders as a gentle voice said, "Izuku."

Izuku choked, his ears hearing his name from someone who hadn't said it in over a decade. His tears, he barely noticed, were still flowing, but breathing was easier. He still didn't look up.

"Izuku, look up."

No.

"Look up, Izuku."

No.

"Look at me, Izuku."

Those words. Izuku brought his hands down, tilted his head up slightly to gaze at the blonde. Katsuki's eyes were wide, a slight look of panic on his features. His ruby eyes were smouldering with a fierce intensity that Izuku was captivated by, something he could get lost in for eternity. They burned with passion that seared itself into Izuku's mind, like it was afraid it would never see such raw emotion from the boy who was always so walled-up again.

Izuku's green eyes latched onto that sight, his gaze soft and pain-filled. Somehow, Katsuki knew. He knew he needed someone, someone who knew about his past. He wondered what the blond was thinking, because the many, many thoughts that were rushing through Izuku's mind were all centred on how close Katsuki's face was to his. Izuku could feel his warm breath caressing his cold, tear-streaked face. Freckles, so light that they were almost invisible, were dotted across Katsuki's nose, so close in colour to his natural skin tone that Izuku doubted anyone else even knew he had them. From here, Izuku could see the slant on his eyes, the rims scattered with light eyelashes. He could see that Katsuki's skin was completely and totally clear, not a single blemish, no under eye bags.

"Izuku," Katsuki murmured, his voice low, oddly soft and comforting.

Izuku took shallow breaths, not because he couldn't take deeper ones but because he didn't want to ruin this moment between them.

Katsuki wasn't meeting his gaze, his crimson eyes cast slightly downward, and Izuku flushes a light pink when he realised they were centred on his lips. "Don't cry."

And then Katsuki closed the distance between them, capturing Izuku's mouth in a closed his, gently pressing their lips together. It was soft, almost timid, like neither were entirely sure what was happening. All of a sudden, much too sudden for Izuku's liking, Katsuki pulled away, his eyes wide and confused. Izuku, eyes half lidded and also confused, watched the blond as he subconsciously licked his lips, as if trying to convince himself that he had just done that.

Dear God, Izuku had just kissed Katsuki Bakugo. He had just kissed Kacchan.

No, he thought. Kacchan just kissed me.

A moment passed in which neither boy said anything, just stared at one another. Izuku realised that, although his breathing was heavy, he could breathe, and the tears had stopped. In fact, the whole panic attack had faded.

In a sudden bout of confidence that he wasn't entirely sure was wise, Izuku arched his back, pushing off against the wall and connected their lips once more. Katsuki, only hesitating for a moment, moved fowards, pressing Izuku back against the wall and moving his hands to loop one around the small of his back and one around his neck, as if claiming him, making sure no one else could touch him. In relatiation, Izuku reaches up a hand to thread it through his spiky blond locks, internally marvelling at how soft they were despite their aggressive appearance. He used his other hand to caress the boy's cheek, feeling his sharp jawline.

The kiss was already passionate, Izuku trying to suppress moans as Katsuki moved to press his chest against Izuku's, and then decided to take it one step further, licking Izuku's bottom lip, asking for entrance. Izuku willingly opened his mouth and Katsuki dived in, his tongue exploring the new territory with such passion that Izuku moaned his name into the kiss, the word getting lost in the sudden gasp he made as the dominant blond shifted, using his arms to move Izuku off the floor and onto his lap. As his tongue explored, Izuku trailed his hands down the boy's back, feeling his hard muscles beneath the shirt. His fingers wandered, toes curled in his slippers as he arched his back, pressing his crotch against Katsuki's stomach. The hem of his shirt was suddenly in his hands and Izuku slid his hands up.

As soon as his fingers touched the smooth bare skin, Katsuki roughly pulled away, standing up and almost jumping backwards. He looked slightly dishevelled, hair sticking up in crisscrossed angles that were more messy than usual, eyes clouded over with lust and hunger, half lidded. Izuku watched him with curiousity as Katsuki opened his mouth to speak, closed it, then opened it again. "At least you stopped crying."

And then he turned on his heel, headed down the stairs, followed the path around the corner and was lost to sight, leaving Izuku to wonder what the hell had just happened.