{Don't wanna live in fear and loathing, I wanna feel like, I am floating Instead of constantly exploding. In fear and loathing}

Zayn rocked himself back and fourth on his bed, he didn't know how to process what just happen to him, just twenty minutes ago. Zayn quickly got up from his bed and went into his bathroom, he strip off his clothes and turn on the warm water. Zayn began washing his chest quickly, trying to get Louis's fingerprints off him.

Zayn felt so used and was never touched in such a intimate way. He softly cried a little trying to erase any physical contact with Louis off his body, he doesn't know why Louis was so aggressive towards him. Zayn washed all the soap off his body and put on a fresh pair of boxers and a shirt. Zayn thought, there is no crime in being kind, but now being too nice can lead to be taken advantage off, he doesn't ever wanted to treated so harshly.

I vow never to wear tank tops anywhere near Louis or anyone. Zayn thought to himself, as he puts on a large sweater on his body. Being touch like that was very frightening for him, Louis used Trisha as a person that means something to Zayn that makes it impossible to make him tell the truth. He doesn't want her hurt by Louis. Their was a knock on the door making Zayn flinch.

"Zayn dear? Are you alright?" Trisha asked cornered, jiggling the door handle. Zayn quickly rushed towards the door and unlocks it.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Trisha stared into Zayn's eyes not believing him. "Are you sure? Did you get along with Louis?"

Zayn tensed. "Y-yeah, he's a real charmer." He mumbled, hugging himself.

"Ok, well you should get some sleep then." Trisha smiled, hugging Zayn.

Zayn half hugs Trisha and went into his room and locked the door. Trisha frowned a little, she knows something bothering Zayn, but can't quite figured it out. She hopes Zayn will open up in just a little, so she can comfort him.

****

Zayn! It's time to get up for school!" Trisha shouted, banging on his door. He groaned and ran into the bathroom and quickly showered, he put on some black jeans and a oversized black sweater.

"Zayn are you up?"

He grabbed his bookbag and unlock his door. "Yes! I'm up." He shouted walking down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Would you like some pancake and bacon, or how about cereal?" Trisha questioned. Zayn's stomach moaned in approval of accepting Trisha over, but what Zayn really wanted was to leave and not look at the living room were he was touched by Louis's grubbing hands.

"No, I'm not hungrry, I just wanna be early for school." Zayn mumbled.

"Is something bothering you Zayn? You know, you can tell me. If someone is messing with you.." Trisha continued, but Zayn cuts her off.

"I'm fine!" Zayn snaps, he doesn't want to have an argument with her, but she keeps pestering him with questions.

Trisha frowns, "Oh, ok I'm sorry to have assumed, you can leave to school now." She said quietly, cleaning the kitchen.

Zayn felt like utter crap for snapping at his foster mom, he just doesn't know what to do, he will shut his mouth in order to keep Trisha safe from Louis, Zayn would give him his body to Louis, if he would never hurt her.

"I'm sorry mom, I'm just going thru things, I just need some time." Zayn says hugging Trisha.

Trisha heart fluttered when Zayn called her mom again, she's happy that he's trying and willingly to call her mom and with little bits of information about his feelings is all she needs.

"It's fine dear, you can take as much time as you in, I'm not going to rush you. Now, when you come home from school, we are going to the police station."

"Why! Please don't send me away, I promise, I will be good." Zayn begged, hugging Trisha tighter.

"No sweetie, you're going to stay here forever, we just gotta find out about you're birth certificate." She coos, rubbing Zayn's back.

"Ok, well I'm off to school, bye Trisha." Zayn smiles.

"Bye Zayn." She waves, Trisha feels a little sad that Zayn switches from calling her mom to Trisha, but she won't scowl or correct him, she wants Zayn to be comfortable on which he prefers calling her. He's been thru a lot and all she gotta do is wait until Zayn is ready to talk about his past and what's been bothering him.

****

Zayn walks into his first period class, his mind still scared from last nights events. He hopes that he will forget about it in the next few hours.

"Hey Zayn." Leroy greets, pulling the chair backwards, so Zayn can seat.

"Hey Leroy." Zayn mumbles taking his sit next to Leroy.

"What's up? Why the sad face?"

"It's nothing, I'm fine." Zayn whispers.

Leroy presses his hand on Zayn's shoulder. "Did someone hurt you?"

Zayn shakes his head. "No, I'm just having a bad day is all."

"How come you don't want to talk about it?" Leroy questioned softly. It hurts Leroy to see Zayn with a sad face, he was so happy yesterday and he wants to know what changed Zayn's mood."

"I told you I'm ok!" Zayn snaps. Making some students look behind them.

"Calm down Zayn, no need to get loud with me, I'm just trying to help you, as a concerned friend."

"Then stop asking questions. I just wanna deal with it on my own."

Leroy shook his head. "You don't have to be alone Zayn, just tell me what's the problem."

"Enough with the probing questions!" Zayn yells, making every student turn back to hear the argument.

"I Will lay you're ass on the floor, right in front of everyone. Don't make me take off my earrings and headband off, I will pop you." Leroy yells back.

Zayn gets up, taking his bookbag and leaving the classroom. He feels like he's exploding inside, he just wants to forget, he wants to tell someone, but it will risk what he loves the most, Trisha.

Zayn quickly goes to his locker to gets some napkins to wipe his tears away.

"Hey."

Zayn closed his locker to see blue piercing eyes staring at him.

"Hi." Zayn whispers shyly.

"Are you ok?" The blue eye boy question.

Zayn wanted to protest and snap at him, but something about his voice was very caring with his accent and his blue velvet eyes made him less nervous.

"No, I'm just trying to deal with something that happen to me yesterday, I yelled at my friend first period, everything was going perfect yesterday, until he showed up." Zayn whimpers, more tears flowing from his face, as he wipes them away with his tissue.

"It's going to be ok, you just gotta be strong. You're going to be fine." The blue eye boy reassures.

"I hope so." Zayn sighs sniffling, resting his forehead on his locker.

"Can I give you a hug?" Blue eye boy questioned.

Zayn was hesitant, he didn't want a repeat of what happen last night to him, but caved and bury his face into the blue eye boy chest and wrapped his arms around him.

"It's going to be ok? If you need to cry, then cry on me." He whispers in Zayn's ear.

That's what Zayn did, cried into the boys arm, this is the only way to release the feeling of being hurt. The blue eye boy sheltered Zayn with his arms and Zayn buried himself further. Zayn felt save, he didn't get a creepy vibe for him, he just feels happy in his arms.

"Thank you, I needed that." Zayn mumbles.

The school bell rang making Zayn jump, but the blue eye boy hugged

him securely.

"I should go now, I have art second period." Zayn sighs, wiping his tears away.

"I have art as well, we should walk together."

Zayn smiled a little. "Yeah that would be great, what's you're name?"

"Niall and yours?"

"Zayn."

"Unique name, I like." Niall smiles.

Zayn blushes a little. "Thanks, I remember you now, you're the one that said calm you're tits to the health teacher." Zayn giggled.

Niall laughed a little and admiring Zayn's giggling. "Yeah, that was me."

What Zayn and Niall didn't know was that Harry watching them, and is very pissed at Niall.

Zayn and Niall walked inside the art room, Niall sat with Leroy, while Zayn sat in the front by himself.

"Hey what's up." Niall greeted Leroy, sitting next to him.

"I'm ready to choke a hoe." Leroy muttered, chewing his gum loudly.

Niall laughs. "what did you do?"

Leroy huffs. "I didn't do anything, I was just concerned about Zayn, cuz he looked really sad and we gotten to an argument and he just left the classroom."

"Oh Zayn, the guy with the glasses?" Niall questioned, pointing to Zayn at the front of the class.

"Yeah, you know him?"

"Yeah, we talked a little, he's upset about something, he even cried in arms, poor guy. Someone really got to him." Niall murmurs, taking out his sketch pad.

"What do you mean someone?" Leroy questioned cornered.

Niall looked into Leroy's eyes, "Zayn said everything was going perfect, until he showed up."

"He? Did Zayn mean me?" Leroy questioned.

Niall shook his head. "Nah, if he was scared or mad at you, he would've said you're name."

"Alright, I'm done talking about Zayn." Leroy grumbles. Niall nodded.

"Class, I would like you to draw something that you fear the most." Ms. Nicole says writing on the broad.

Zayn got out his sketch book and began drawing, he let his mind and hand did the drawing. He didn't want to overthink and hesitate on what he really wanted to draw. It only took Zayn fifteen minutes to draw what he feared the most.

Ms. Nicole walked around the classroom checking on each students drawing, she stops and carefully looks at Zayn's drawing.

"A hand shaped like a L gripping a boy by his tank top. Very interesting drawing Zayn, it shows you put a lot of effort and time into this." Ms. Nicole says thrillingly.

"Thank you." Zayn says in a shaky tone, looking at what he just drew. Zayn can still feel Louis's hand on his chest and it's makes Zayn shiver at the thought that, if Trisha didn't make in any second later that something worst could've happen.

****

Harry sat across from Leroy at the table.

"Harry, you don't sit here." Leroy muttered.

"I know that idiot, I was just wondering, what's the deal with Zayn and Niall?" Harry Questioned, with a hint of jealousy.

Leroy rolled his eyes. "Nothing going on between them, Niall was just conforting Zayn, it's good that their talking to each other, it won't be so awkward that Niall is coming to Zayn's birthday party on Sunday."

"Birthday party? How come no mention me this?" Harry questioned, annoyed.

"Cleary your not a friend of Zayn's and honestly, you shouldn't come." Leroy sassed, taking a spoonful of hid baked potato.

"Well too bad, because I'm going." Harry says, then leaving the table. Leroy didn't get a chance to protest, so he continued to eat.

Zayn walked into the lunch room, searching for Leroy, he felt so awful snapping at him. He needed to apologize to him. Zayn spotted Leroy at their usual table, Zayn took a deep breath and walked towards Leroy and sat across from him.

"Hi Leroy." Zayn spoke quietly.

"Zayn." Leroy spoke monotone, stabbing at his baked potato with a spoon.

"I wanted to apologize for my outburst during first period, I'm so sorry for yelling at you, you have every right to yell at me again, or pop me, whatever that means." Zayn says clearly.

Leroy laughed loudly. "I'm sorry too Zayn, I won't pop you, you're to adorable to be punched."

"So, are we still friends?" Zayn questioned, nervously.

"Of course we are, we just gotten into a little fight, I didn't mean to get all nosy."

"It's fine, I'm much better now."

"That's great and how come you're not getting lunch?" Leroy questioned, taking spoonfuls of his baked potato.

"I'm not hungry." Zayn fake smiled, but his stomach disagreed by growling loudly.

"Zayn, your stomach thinks other wise." Leroy chuckles.

Zayn cheeks started to heat up in embrassment. "Ok, I'm hungry, but I don't like what their serving today."

"Ok, just eat at home, don't want you to faint."

"Ok."

****

Zayn arrived with Trisha to the police station to talk with Amy.

"Hello, Zayn and Trisha, what brings you both here?" Amy questioned, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Is their any other way to find Zayn's birth certificate?" Trisha questioned.

"Well, I can try again. I looked at the database and I put Zayn's first name, but nothing showed. We don't even know Zayn's last name either, but I have thought of something." Trisha says, typing on her computer.

"What happens, if she can't find my birth certificate?" Zayn questioned, frowning.

"She will Zayn, you just gotta believe." Trisha says. taking Zayn's hand.

"I found it!" Amy cheered.

"Splendid! How did you find it?" Trisha questioned excited.

"Well I just started to type each alphabet and once I stopped at see and search thru the twenty one names, I found Zayn's last name."

"so what is my last name then?" Zayn questioned anxiously.

"Carter, but if you like, you can change you're last name to Trisha's."

"You don't have to Zayn, if you like you're last name that was given, then you don't have to change it to Malik." Trisha spoke softly.

"I actually like to change it to Malik. .I don't know who my real dad, so why should I keep his last name."

"Alright, I'm printing out a copy for you're original birth certificate and I'm going to print out a new one with you're new name and put Trisha as you're birth mother." Amy says taking out the paper for the printer.

"Ok, thank you so much Amy for you're help." Trisha gushes.

"You're welcome, it's my pleasure."

"Zayn, can you wait for me in the car please, I have to discuss something with Amy, it will only take a few minutes." Trisha pleads. Zayn nodded and left.

"What is it Trisha? Is Zayn ok?" Amy frantically questioned.

"He's fine, but something is bothering him, I'm guessing it's his nightmares and past is hurting him."

"Oh, he such a lovely young man, the things he been thru with that retched Aurora."

"I wanted to ask you, can you make it to Zayn's surprise birthday party on Sunday?"

"Yes! I would happy to attend and bring a present for him." Amy says excited.

"Alright, well I will see Sunday." Trisha waves.

"Ok, Sunday it is." Amy waves back.

*****

Zayn and Trisha arrives back home with a newly box of Pizza.

"Thank you for buying the pizza, I wasn't sure, if you was going to cook or not." Zayn rambles, looking at the delicious pizza.

"Nonsense Zayn, if your hungry, just tell me. I can make something to eat or buy something outside." Trisha reassures, handing Zayn a plate.

Zayn nodded and put five slices of pizza on his plate and devoured it in fifteen minutes. Zayn was really hungry, he couldn't think about food earlier with Louis haunting his mind.

"I'm full and ready to hit the bed, thanks for everything Trisha." Zayn says cleaning his plate in the sink.

"Anytime Zayn, have a goodnight sleep."

"You too, mom."

Zayn walked to his room, he debated on locking the door, but it's the weekend now and Louis's isn't around, so he leaves his room door open. Zayn climbs into bed exhausted thinking about the blonde hair blue eyes name Niall.

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!

Next chapter is Zayn's birthday!

Dedication goes to @JourneyP for her funny comment.

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