Twelve
☢☢☢

The first thing I saw, through the narrow slits of my eyes, when I woke up the next morning was my broken phone lying next to my pillow. I grabbed it and turned it on. It worked but when I ran my thumb over the screen, nothing moved. I put it down again and closed my eyes, clutching the pillow tighter, and burying my face into it. The door clicked and Vanessa strode in.

"Hey!"

"Hey," I groaned back.

"You had a blast last night."

"I guess. I can barely open my eyes."

"Wake up and drink something. I got you coffee though."

"Thanks. How's Carli?"

"She just woke up."

Inhaling a long breath, I sighed and turned over on my back.

"Get up. You need some air. I gotta go to class now. See you later."

"Yup. Bye."

Lying on my bed after she'd left, my thoughts started drifting towards Jay again. So, I got up, took a shower, and ran to class. The day went by as normal as any normal day could be. Drew took me out for lunch just as he'd said. We had a great time playing with strangers' dogs in a park nearby campus.

When I walked back to my dorm in the evening, I found Jay by the doorsteps, in his car, waiting for me. He came out once he saw me. I headed straight for the door.

"Lola." He came around his Vette and grabbed my arm, steering me around to face him. "We need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Look. The things I said the other day, it wasn't meant for you to hear."

"Sure, it wasn't."

"I didn't mean any of it."

"Right. You talk shit of me and I heard it. But of course, that wasn't meant for me to hear because that would definitely make me feel like shit! Sure you didn't even mean it but you and your friends seem to have a good time laughing over it like I'm nothing but one of your slut! I understand."

He wrapped his fingers around my wrist and led me to the side of the block where people wouldn't see us.

"Lola. . ."

"Don't even say my name!" I snapped and heard a quiver in my voice out of anger. The fact that he said he'd fucked a lot of Lolas rang in my ear and it made me feel like a slut. More so when he calls me. Tears pooled into my eyes. I took a deep breath and looked away, blinking the back. The last thing I would do was to cry in front of the jerk and show him that he hurt me.

He pulled back, pursed his lips, took a moment, and then proceeded to speak again. "I'm sorry. I really am. I never meant to hurt you."

"I'm not hurt. You don't hurt me at all. What are we? What am I to you? What are you to me? We've only met a couple of times. It doesn't mean anything. I'm only pissed off for now but you or whatever you say won't mean a thing to me before you know it." I felt my lungs fill up, the air choking me and I fought to keep every emotion buried inside as I met his gaze dead in his blue eyes.

God.

He nodded. "I shouldn't have said those. It's wrong. I'm sorry but I did it because I had to."

I scoffed and turned to leave, fed up with the bullshit.

"No. Hear me out! Please." He stopped me, clutching my shoulders with his hands. "There were many people there, Lola. A lot of them weren't my friends. I can't talk like I care about you in front of them. I have connections with Ricardo and I don't wanna put you at risk 'cause when things get ugly, they'll come for the people that we care about. I don't wanna do that to you. But I swear if your friend hadn't come at me that way in front of people, our conversation would have been different."

When that sunk in, my anger subsided almost immediately but being a little obstinate in my own right, I didn't return a word. I didn't even look at him. Moreover, who knew if he was lying?

"I still wanna take you out sometime," he said.

I looked away. "I don't think I wanna go out with you anymore. I don't trust you. Who knows if you're only saying it because I'm angry?"

"Do you think I'd actually make the effort to come over here and explain things to you if I don't care?"

"I don't know! But I don't wanna go out with you again only for you to laugh with your friends at my expense and make me feel like shit. You're dangerous, I'm scared and I want nothing to do with you now!" My breathing trembled.

The silence in his bright blue eyes killed me as he took a step away from me. He said nothing after that, watching me intently on my face as if removing the layers of my skin one by one to read into my soul. Eventually, he nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone now."

My throat seemed to tear open into two while a piercing pang in my chest pulled and squeezed at my heart. I clenched my teeth and remained at my spot, watching him leave. He seemed to have made up his mind and deep in my gut, I was sure he wouldn't look back.

He didn't. He got inside his car and left. I swallowed and wiped my wet eyes. He was no one to me, I shouldn't feel this way but I felt like I'd just lost a very important person in my life. I felt like I'd known Jay forever and now he was just gone. Just like that.

★

Two days went by with no sense of real existence for me, like I'd just been floating around in a parallel universe of an indistinguishable combination of dream and reality. Most of the time, I'd just been thinking about Jay if we would ever get back to where we were, if there was anything at all, or if this was it for us.

Sitting on a bench in between Vanessa and Carli during college hours, I told them what had gone down between me and Jay. I'd went out and bought another phone with Drew and I kept wondering if I should send Jay a text or maybe a phone call. In a way, the reason why he talked like a douchebag about me seemed understandable now l, after deep contemplation, but the fact that I couldn't be completely sure kept me away from reaching out to him.

"Was Grayson like that too when you guys first started going out?"

"Like what?"

"Like. . . did he talk the way Jay did in front of those people as a form of protecting you from their rivals in case they wanna hurt the people they love? Just to present the idea that we're not important to them at all so that those other guys wouldn't bother us?"

Carli blew her tongue. "If Grayson does anything close to that for me, I'd marry him."

Vanessa laughed from her end.

"No." Carli leaned in. "Grayson and I met at a party and we hit it off that night in the bathroom. And we've been fucking ever since. That's pretty much it. The only problem is that I started developing feelings for him because we've been together for more than a year. But for Grayson, it's still only sex and party even if we date. If he talks shit about me, he probably means every word of it. There's no protection, love, blah blah blah."

"Okay. But has he ever been in a situation like Jay had been the other night? Like has anyone ever thought he actually loves you which could land you in trouble and has he tried correcting that?"

"No. But that's because Grayson is just an errand boy. You see those guys in bikes, partying and being all badass in the street? They don't know shit. They're just there to run errands. They don't play any part in the bigger picture. The real deal is the guys behind the desk. People like Ricardo. Jay."

I stopped breathing.

"You see, Lola. Grayson has nothing to worry about me, but Jay has because he's not just an errand boy. He's a part of Ricardo's family and he is gaining prominence in their system. Do you know that Jay runs the night club where Rick hosted his birthday party?"

"Yeah. Jay told me that."

Her eyes went wide. "He did! Well, Jay is twenty-two but can you imagine running a night club at that age? To have Ricardo trust you with an asset that big? At twenty two. He's not some foolish mob boss. It means Jay has potential and Ricardo has been grooming him for this ever since he was a kid. Grayson told me he's excellent with finance and management. I bet he's already in the system and he can't afford to be reckless."

"Wow," Vanessa sighed. "That is something."

I struggled to register whatever Carli has fed me with in my head. So I stared at her, mouth agape, for a long moment.

"So, you think he was really trying to keep me out of the picture?"

Carli pushed her lips up and nodded. "Could be. Very likely if he actually cares about you."

"Oh, my heart. Drama." Vanessa thumped her palm to her chest. "I think he really likes you, Lola. I mean if he actually came to explain things to you. Otherwise, wouldn't it be like 'okay. Done. She's mad at me. Nevermind. Ciao!' Hmm? He cared enough to clear things up with you."

"I don't know."

"Just take it slow." Carli turned to me. "Take your time and talk to him again if you feel like. But keep in mind what you're stepping into. It's dangerous, Lola."

"Yeah. I do wanna talk to him again but I don't know if it's better this way."

"Yeah."

"Be careful, Lola. Your safety is more important than anything." Vanessa asserted.

"Right."

"We should go out one of these days. Just the three of us. Girls' night out." Carli suggested.

"Totally."

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Tell me what you feel about this book and the plot so far 🙂 and thank you so much for coming this far.

Next two chapters on Inkitt!

Love, Hermyne