*on the way home *
It was a long day. I walk home while I lit my well deserved cigarett. We decided to have a gathering this evening with the guys. I arrived home and smell the fantastic food mom made.
-Smells good! What's it?
-Hi to you too... It's fried chicken with rice.
-Yummy except the rice... I eat it with bread.
-Great. By the way I want to ask you a question, I'm going on a trip with my colleagues in next month and I wanted to ask you if you will be fine or should I call Granny here?
-I'll be fine. And if I won't Granny is in this street. I can find her easily. And... where are you going?
-Somewhere to the mountains... I don't even know yet, becouse I wanted to ask you first. And how was your first day of school?
-Honestly? Not that shity as the last year. I will aplie for the role of Juliette in the school play. And we got a hella cute new drama teacher. And he already gave me the script of the part I should practise for the casting.
-Smells kinda pedo....
-Moooom! He's just twenty four. By the way I don't think he's interested in me that way.
-Ok. But you know you can be kicked out of school if you get together with a teacher?!
-Yeah, sure! And make money with poledancing.
-You're a funny girl. - we ate the dinner and continued talking. She let me go to Mel. I went to my room and switched on my laptop. Time to listen some good music. By good music I mean my new obsession: Lindemann!!! The singer of Rammstein, Till Lindemann and a swedish musican, Peter Tägtgren worked together and made an album, Skills in pills. I FUCKIN LOVE IT!!!! It's sick by all means... Songs like Praise abort and Fat... Just awful and wonderful at the same time.

I wrote a text to the groupchat

Me:gotta be at Mel at 6 😚❤
Mel: fuck u... ❤👌👈
Josh :I will! 😁😁😉
Ty:WoW!!! 😂😂😂
Me: Ohh Joshie.. So romantic 😍😍😍 .... But no... u won't.
Jenna: we could go on double dates 😘
Mel: pls leave alone my bitch, else I have to kiss your ass!!!! 💪 -I cried on my bed from laughter!!-
Mel :kick your ass!!!!.... Fuck autocorrect... 😤😕
Me:😂😂😂😂 LoooooooL I might just peed my pants...
Josh: come at me! 💪😽 kiss my precious ass!!! 😁 😁 😁
Ty :😄
Jenna: 😂😂
HriC :lmao 😂 Mel you brightened up my day!
Pete: tf happened here 😮😮😂😂
Me: Ohh boi I love autocorrect!!! 😀😀😊
Mel: I do hate U guys!
Me: we luv u too! ❤
HriC :💙
Jenna :💗
Josh: well... Now. Whos gonna bring 🍁?
Me: why do you need a leaf Joshua?😕
Josh: funny girl! 👍
Mel:he meant retarded!!! 😊
Me: by the way not me... 😁
Pete: I will 😊👼
Me: the weedfairy 😱😱😱
Jenna: I imagined Pete in a fairy costume... 😐
Ty: ur sick my💚
Me: I guess I have the idea for Halloween! 😁 but for now I gotta go and take a shower... 🚿
Mel: yeah. U smelly as fuck!😷 😁
Me: fuck u ❤

I took my laptop to the nightstand and went to the bathroom. I took off my clothes and stepped under the hot water. I love hot water, it's so relaxing, I usually prefer taking a bath, but now I don't have that much time. I take the towel and dry myself, than go to my drawer. I love to be naked in my room! I feel so free and natural. If I had the chance I would totaly go naked everywhere. But shit... I don't like my body always. When I have a raugh time I feel very insecure and think I'm ugly as fuck. That's why a lot of people think I'm a cheap girl... When I feel ugly I need to prove myself that I'm not and I pick out a guy and make him mine, but never keep them. Just onenight stands, never love! Like in Rammstein 's song Pussy: I just wanna have fun, not love. I guess something is wrong with me, becouse I haven't been in love... I had two guys in my life I thought I could love, but the first was an ass and I fucked up the things with the others... I'm just not good at relationships. And I'm afraid I can't avoid an awkward conversation with Josh in the future, becouse a little bird said he loves me and I love him too much to lose him becouse I suck at these kind of things. I do love him as a friend and probably I would love him as a boyfriend, but somehow I would fuck something up and eventualy lose him... But if I hurt his feelings I can also lose him... I freakin don't know what to do!

I picked out nice black lace panties and matching bra. I put them on and pick out a pair of black, high waisted jeans and a top with the Rammstein logo on it. I guess by now you guessed I'm a little obsessed with Rammstein.... And I am! Ja! Nein! RAMMSTEIN!!!!
I go downstairs and say bye to mom. I quickly rush to Mel's house, she lives just a few streets away. I don't wasted my time knocking on the door, just went in and shouted.

-What's up bitch? I'm home!
-I'm upstairs. - I go up the stairs and stormed in the bedroom.
- Where are the others?
- They aren't here yet as you can see. Wanna have a beer?
- Yeah. And your can tell me about Mr. Silktouch, you haven't speak about him since last week. Is something wrong?
-No! I haven't told you? He went to visit his grandparents in Montana. And there's in the mountains barely internet so we can only speak like once in two days... It's sucks.
-Oh, yes it is! So one more reasons to get wasted! -we went to the kitchen and grabed some beer. I told her every detail about the time I spent with Brendon and she just stood there smirking like an idiot. -Soooo... That's all, what do you think?
- He wanna see you again! Isn't it obvious? He does like you! I mean why wouldn't he? But I have to ask you a question and now I'll be the pain in the ass... - I sat on the counter and Mel dropped the topic I realy don't like to talk about...
- So, what's up with you and Josh? I mean now you have a thing with Brendon... Josh is madly in love with you! And it will hurt him... He will be acting like a bitch! If it gets serious maybe he even tell someone...
-I know, but he means more to me than get together and than ruin it all... - Okay, but if you choose not to hurt him, you'll end up get together, married to him and have a hella lot of children! Or you might hurt him now, but he will find an other obsession and you can be friends once again!
-I'll speak with him soon, just need a little bit more time.... Just to be this close, like we used to.
-You're selfish! You don't want him, but you don't want him to be with anybody else either!
-I like him! I do... Just not in a romantic way... I mean I would totaly fuck him a thousand times, but I don't know if I could be faithful... And if I couldn't, that would be the evilest thing I could do to such a lovely soul like Josh!
-And would you fuck Mr.SexyAsHell?
- Gosh!! Why are you like this?
- I still don't have a clue how we became friends, but it's late to bitching about it! Just answer!
-Hell, I would! You know I would fuck the living soul out of almost every good looking male! But what's the point in that?
-Let me explain.... -she was cut off by the front door opening. We heard Ty, Jenna and Josh coming in. She whispered to me - We're continue this later. - than she yelled to the livingroom. - We're here losers! Who wants a beer?
-Everybody! -Josh said, came to me and stood in front of me as I sat there. -Hi there, beautiful.
-Hello here, handsome. -I feel awkward after our little conversation.. Like... Do I realy just play with him? I want things to stay the same... Just we, the group! Having fun together and such things. But for now let's just get high! We went to the backyard and lit the wonderful magical fun-cigars... I always feel relaxed. Everybody feels different. For example Mel is a fuckin paranoid and Josh can't stop talking, Ty just sit and laugh at everything and Jenna falls asleep. And here I am, thinking about that what my life will look like in ten years... What the hell am I gonna do with my life? Should I get together with Josh?.... Ohh no.. Brain stop thinking... I get up and go in the kitchen, I pour a glass of orange juice and took little sips. I hear the door open, Josh is coming in and hugs me without a word. I have to talk to him... Just a little bit later... I want to go to school tomorrow and meet Brendon for some reasons even when Josh hugs me for reasons... And sorry Joshie but my high and horny brain is busy with our sexy teacher... I think of him... How would it feels to hug him? Body against body... He did fucked up my imagination! Fuck! I have to go home, I can't think straight. I need to sleep.
-I have to go home.
-I walk you home, you look like shit...
-You're so charming, every girl wants to hear this...
-You know how I mean...
-Yupp. And thank you. I'll feel safer. -I walked to the door and shouted a bye to them and headed to the door. We arrived home in a few minutes and said our goodbyes. I kissed his cheek and thanked him his company. Than I went to my room and fell into my bed and in a deep, deep sleep.

Hiiii!!!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! 😊😊😊😊 hope you have a beautiful day and I promise that more Brendon will be in the next chapter, but I thought I should show some background. 😚😄 in this very moment I'm listening to Girls/Girls/Boys love this song!!! 🌈💛💙💜💚💗❤ if you like the story let me know in the comments!

Don't forget, you are all beautiful and lovely!!!! 😘