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STEVE'S POV

I woke up in the middle of the night cause I heard something and missed Tony on the bed.

I got up to look for him and he was in the living room on the floor.

"Tony,what Happened?" - I got really worried when I saw his face, it was like he was shocked, scared.

"Tony, please talk to me" - I got down on my knees and held his face in my hands.

I was terrified to see him like this, and I didn't know what to do.

He was shaking and his skin was pale.

"Honey, please, look at me" - I put his face up. - " I'm here, ok? I'm here for you"

He wasn't answering, it was like his eyes were looking at me but not seeing. I started panicking.

I sat on the floor behind him and pulled him to my arms. He was shaking too much.

"I'm gonna die" - he said with a hoarse voice.

"No, you're not going to die,ok? I GOT YOU" - I was scared, I didn't know what he was feeling, but I needed to help him, cause he was in despair.

"Hey, focus on my voice,ok? I'm here" - I whispered in his ear, still holding him strongly from behind on the floor.

I put one hand on his forehead and laid his head on my shoulder.

"Breath with me" - I started breathing deeply and slowly and he followed.

He was recovering control again. Thank God, it was horrible to see him like this.

"Are you ok?" - I said caressing his hair.

"I'm sorry" - he spoke, his voice was low, weak.

"I'll put you back on the bed,ok?"

He nodded his head, I picked him up and headed to the bedroom, putting him on the huge bed.

I laid by his side.

"Do you want to talk about it?" - I asked, running my fingers through his hair.

"No"

It hurt, but I couldn't push him now, he was under a lot of pressure and he didn't need more, also Stark was a closed book, he didn't like to share much about him.

I pressed my lips on his forehead and hugged him, a few minutes later he fell asleep.

I couldn't sleep right away after that, I just watched him sleep for awhile to make sure he was ok.

I cared about him, more than I thought I did. At this moment, looking at him, I realized it wasn't just some fast feelings or a sexual attraction and I had to admit it was scary.
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TONY'S POV

I woke up in the morning before him. I went to the bathroom and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

I can't believe he saw me like that, in one of my anxiety crises.

I couldn't forgive myself to let him see me like that, I was embarrassed and angry at myself. I almost killed my friends with Ultron, I couldn't hurt anyone else anymore, especially Steve.

I couldn't put him through this. It wasn't fair, he's been through so much in his life already.

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STEVE'S POV

I woke up at 9 am and didn't see Tony on the bed again.

"Tony?" - I called, but didn't get an answer.

I got up and looked in the bathroom, but he wasn't there. I climbed down the stairs and looked in the kitchen, living room, everywhere and he wasn't there.

I was afraid he could've had another one of that attack alone.

"Stark, please, where are you?" - I was searching for like an hour, I even got into his lab.

I needed help, cause I was already freaking out.

The guys arrived really fast.

"I can't find Tony."

"He must have gone somewhere, why are so worried?" - Clint asked.

Everyone was there, even Pepper, Wanda, Pietro, Peter and vision.

"He was not ok last night, he had a panic attack or something, we slept and then in the morning he wasn't there anymore."

"Why did you sleep here?" - Thor asked confused and I could see that was a question everyone had, by the way they were looking at me, except of course for Pepper and Nath.

"That's not the point now, we need to find Tony. Let's split into pairs. Steve, I'm with you" - Nath said, saving me from answer the complicated question.

Everyone left to look for him.

"You know you'll have to tell them soon,right? That's a secret you can't keep for a long time" - Natasha said with a firm ton.

We looked for him for three hours, but didn't find any trace of him.

XXX
3 days went by and there was no sign of Tony.
XXX

STEVE'S POV

We were looking for him for 3 days and there was no sign of him, we finished one more day of search and I was devastated, crying.

When we went back to the Tower he was there, sitting on the couch drinking whiskey.

My body was filled with anger.

"ARE YOU INSANE? WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU, YOU IDIOT" - I said and grabbed him by his shirt, lifting him up.

He was crying before, his eyes were puffy and red.

I let go of him.

"Can you explain what happened? Do you have any sense in your mind, you selfish bastard?"

I didn't even like to insult someone like this, but I was pissed of at him.

"Hey, calm down. I just needed some time, didn't want anyone to see me like that" - He said, his voice was low.

"And you think running away is the best option? You scared me, Anthony" - it was the first time I called him by his name like this.

"Why do you care? I'm screwed up ok? I'm not the right person for you" - Tony yelled.

I slapped his face so hard he fell on the couch.

It broke me. Didn't know why I did it. Everyone was scared, afraid of me.

Thor tried to hold my arm,but I pulled it back.

"So you were just having fun with me?"

"No, I like you, that's why I don't want to hurt you, I can't hurt you with my messed up life, ok? So it's better if you walk away"

My heart seemed like it was going to explode and I didn't have any reaction .

"Shut up, Stark. Stop being stupid. If you like to be a coward, that's on you but I'm not, I want to be with you, but if you want me away, cause you're too coward to stand and fight, then I'll go, it's up to you. If you don't want me you can say, but don't come up with excuses."

My head was spinning, cause I didn't predict to say anything like that.

Everyone was looking at us, I forgot they were still there.

I turned away to leave.

"Do you think I would try to protect you if I didn't like you? That's hard for me too, letting the only person that made me feel alive in a long time go like this?" - Tony yelled, his voice was drowned in sorrow.

"I don't want to listen anymore" - I said and stormed out.

When I got to a safe place, I let the tears fall. I haven't liked someone in a long time, and when I do, all I get is a broken heart.

I needed to get away, put my mind back to place.

I dialed the number on my phone and the familiar voice answered right away

"Bucky?Hi!"