It had photos in it. The first one was of Ultron destroying everything and then it had the names and small pictures of the people that died during this mess.

It was like a knife trough my heart, the air became heavy and I knew I shouldn't keep looking,but I couldn't help it.

It was my fault. My head started to spin and I sat down cause my legs were weak. I was running out of air, my face sweating.

I was loosing control and starting to panic when my phone rang. Steve's face showed up on the screen. I answered it right away.

"Hey, it's late, aren't you coming home?" - he asked.

His voice was like fresh air, I made an effort to breath and closed my eyes, my head hurt. I looked at the clock, it was pretty late.

"Honey?" - he said.

"Hey, babe, I'll be home soon. I'm just finishing some paperwork." - I lied, even though it hurt, but I didn't want to worry him with this.

I waited a little so I could calm down and went home.

I got home and headed to the kitchen to drink some water. I greeted Clint, his girlfriend, Bruce and Nath that were heading out to watch a movie. I envy them. I wish I could do it with Steve.

There was no one in the kitchen. I grabbed a glass of water and put my hands on the counter when I finished drinking. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

The photo came in my head and I was starting to fall apart again when I felt big strong arms around me, hugging me from behind.

I breathed relieved.

"Hey there, I heard your voice" - he said and kissed my cheek.

I just took a moment to feel his arms, his body against mine. It was like a fortress, I felt safe. A wave of relief ran through my body.

"Are you ok?" - he asked and rest his chin in my shoulder.

"Yes, too much work today, you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. How was your day?" - I asked and rest my head on his.

"I had to do some investigation for them, talk to some people, he said this old important men are really conservative and would trust my word, we need powerful allies." - he said and smiled. - "I missed you"

I turned around to face him. I put his face in my hands and stared at his eyes for a long moment. He was the only thing keeping me from falling apart now.

"What ?" - he asked, cause I was quiet for a long moment.

I didn't say anything just pulled him and pressed his lips against mine. I pulled away and he just looked at me confused. I pulled him again and this time I kissed him with urgency.it was intense, he lifted me up and put me on the counter. He continued kissing me deeper and deeper.

"Hey, what was that?" - he said smiling, I was trying to catch my breath. His lips were more red than ever.

"Just need you after this awful day" - I said and he smiled even more. - "I bet those conservative guys wouldn't think you're so conservative now" - I joked and he laughed.

I drowned my face in his huge chest.

"Let's watch a movie today? Your TV is almost a movie theater screen "- he said and I smiled, he was so cute.

I took a shower by myself, because Steve already did.

STEVE'S POV

Tony was really strange, it made me worry,but I wouldn't try to force him to say anything today, I just wanted to relax and make him relax too.

I prepared some snacks and set up the living room for us. He came out of the shower after a while.

"Nothing better after a rough day than junk food" - I said when he saw the snacks.

"Easy for you that doesn't metabolize this like I do" - he said and ate a popcorn.

"Stop it, you're perfect" - I said and pulled him by the waist.

"If you keep pulling me like this we're not going to watch the movie" - he smiled pervertedly. - " Wait a minute"

He pulled away and looked at my shirt.

"You really don't exist,Steve Rogers" - he was smiling, because I bought an Iron Man shirt.

"What? I'm a fan" - I joked and he laughed.

We sat down on the couch to watch the movie, about war, Tony, of course, laughed when he knew the genre.

"So, where are Thor, Strange and the three musketeers?" - he asked with a snack in his mouth.

"Thor went to a bar, Peter, Wanda and Pietro went to a party in some of Peter's classmates house and I don't know where Stephen is"

"So, it's just me and you,huh?" - he said and sat on my lap, his legs on each side of my hips.

"I'm here, but don't worry I won't bother you" - Stephen showed up and headed to the kitchen.

It always had to be him.

After like 30 minutes, I lied on the couch with my head on his legs.

"Was it like those movies show?" - he asked.

"A little bit, but not so glamorous" - I said looking at him. - "It was tough to watch innocent people die every day"

It was nice that he was interested in it. Nice to share it with someone, especially him.

He started caressing my hair, it was so damn good. We never had a moment like that. When I'm with him I get soft, I appreciate even the tiniest things like watching a movie at home. I feel comfortable with him, relaxed, it gives me mind peace.

TONY'S POV

The moment with him was amazing as always, and I could get my mind of the picture till Steve told me how tough it was to watch innocent people die in war.

I killed innocent people when I created Ultron and I couldn't forgive myself for that. I looked at Steve to try to get my mind out of it, he was sleeping already, so peaceful, the movie was almost ending so I didn't wake him up.

I heard the door open, Peter came in trying to be silent and Wanda came behind him with Pietro.

"Hello there" - I said and he jumped scared.

Pietro and Wanda just continued to their rooms.

"Oh my God, I didn't see you there, Mr Stark. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to arrive so late..." - he tried to apologize.

"I'm not your father." - I said and he continued walking to his room- " But don't be late to school tomorrow, huh."

Well, I ended up acting like a father anyway. I saw him smile as he left. Unfortunately, he couldn't stay with his aunt till this is all over, but he visited her and we kept security taking care of her.

I must have fallen asleep too, because I got scared when I saw Natasha was in front of me and the movie had already ended.

She was smiling, looking at me and Steve, who was still sleeping on my legs.

"Shh" - I said to her so she wouldn't wake him.

"Are you guys planning on sleeping on the couch?" - she whispered.

"I don't wanna wake him" - I whispered back and looked at him.

"I'm awake, guys, it's just that it's comfy here. " - he said with a sexy sleepy voice and opened his eyes.

"C'mon you guys, you're too old for the couch" - Nath joked, Steve got up and so did I.

"Compared to grandpa here I'm pretty young" - I said.

Natasha laughed and headed to her room.

"Grandpa seems to handle the young boy pretty well" - Steve jokes and slapped my ass.

We went to sleep, we heard Thor coming into the house, he didn't know how to be silent.

I closed the door, Steve took his shirt off and lied on the bed.

I lied on top of him my head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. I have him, so I'll just forget about anything else.

------------------x-----------------

TONY'S POV

TUESDAY

I had just finished another day at work and was about to let Glenda go home when she came in with a box.

"Thank you, have a good night" - I said goodbye to her.

It was just me now, I was afraid to open it, and I probably shouldn't do it, but something was intriguing me.

I opened it and once again it had a picture in it. I froze. My heart skipped a beat.

Everyone around you gets hurt

It had a picture of Pepper, when she got hurt because of me and then a picture of my parents. I started losing my breath, I took a bottle of whiskey and sipped it directly from the bottle.

My phone was ringing, it was Steve. I didn't answer, my head was spinning, it hurt.

Someone was playing psychological games with me...  I was loosing.

When I got home Steve was already sleeping, I just lied down by his side, he probably was upset with me cause I didn't take his calls.

WEDNESDAY

I spent all day worried about that box and what was coming today. By the end of the day I was a mess. Took a lot of meds for my anxiety.

I looked awful and worse, I was pushing the only good thing in my life further away... Steve, but I wouldn't get him involved or worried, I know how impulsive he can be.

When the day ended, I called Glenda in my office.

"Anything for me today?" - I asked with a knot in my throat.

"No, Mr Stark. Have a good night"- she said and left.

I was confused, I just sat there for a long moment staring at the wall. Was it over?

I got home and hoped to see Steve, but he wasn't there, I called him,but he didn't answer. It was too much for me, I was feeling another crisis coming up so I just took a lot of sleeping pills and passed out on the bed.

THURSDAY

I was feeling lonely, tired and I couldn't look myself in the mirror.

"Tony, we need to talk" - Steve said when I was finishing getting ready for work.

"Yeah"

"Are you cheating on me? Be honest, please"

"What? What makes you think that?" - I was surprised and sad at the same time.

"C'mon, you're strange, arriving late, you don't talk to me like you used to" - he was desperate and angry.

"Babe, I'm sorry about that. There are a lot of things happening at work, I'm so sorry I didn't talk to you better about it. But I would never cheat on you, I'd rather die." - I said, he was staring into my eyes.

"Ok, but please don't shut me down"- he said and gave me a kiss.

I went to work... All day went by pretty well and I was confident I wouldn't receive another box.

"I'm leaving early today, Glenda" - I said to her.

I made plans with Steve, he deserved it.

"This came for you today,sir" - she said and I got shivers down my spine.

Another box, but this one was bigger.

I grabbed it and got back to my office. I waited till Glenda leave and opened it really fast.

It had a bottle of whiskey in there and a note.

Your only friend. You are nothing more than a drunk Playboy. Instead of dealing with your problems, you drown them in alcohol. While people are dying because of you, you just hide behind a bottle of whiskey.

I thought I was stronger than some teasing, but turns out I'm not, because deep down I knew everything that was said in those boxes were true.

I sat down and stared at the bottle, I was feeling weak, powerless. I opened the bottle and gave in.

....

I got home pretty late, when I got to my room, I was surprised to see Steve awake.

"What's happening,Tony?" - he asked and shut the door.

"Nothing, honey" - I said and he frowned.

"You were drinking, I am worried about you and you're drinking. Or you tell me the truth now or I leave " - he was really angry, his voice firm.

I didn't know what to say. He nodded angrily and was about to leave the room.

"Someone is playing mind games with me" - I finally said and he turned around to face me again.

"What?"

"I have been receiving boxes at work, with contents that trigger my PTSD, anxiety, depression and everything" - I looked down.

"Why didn't you tell me that?" - he yelled, grabbed my shoulders strongly and shook me. -" who is doing this to you?"

He was really desperate and angry.

"I don't know " - I said, my voice weak.

"I'll find out, I promise. But please, don't hide this things from me anymore, Tony, and don't let this person get into your head. You're stronger than this" - He looked into my eyes, I could feel how hurt he was.

"I don't kniw if I am, Steve, I'm sorry" - I looked down, I was embarrassed of myself.

"Look at me" - he took my face between his hands. - " Don't say that. You're one of the strongest person I know, you've been through hell and you came back stronger each time. "

Those words meant a lot to me, it warmed my heart, but I still felt a hole in it.

I just rest my head on his chest and let his arms hold me. He held me like I could die at any moment and is that how I am feeling, like I could die.

"I love you and no one is going to hurt you like this while I live, you just have to let me protect you, please let me protect you"

....

FRIDAY

The week was finally finishing, I got to work early, hoping I could get out earlier to be with Steve.

I was feeling a little better, Steve always had my back.

The day was surprisingly good till now and it just got better.

I saw Steve in the reception talking to Glenda. I smiled immediately when I saw him.

" Glenda, you can take your lunch break now" - I said and she left, she was smiling.

Steve smiled at me and got into my office, I locked the door.

"You really can't go anywhere without being noticed,huh?" - I said and he winked at me.

I closed the blinds so no one could see us. I pulled him to me and kissed him deeply.

"Best surprise of the day" - I said smiling.

"Are you ok, today?"

"Now I am" - I smiled at him.

"I thought we could have lunch together. What do you say?" - he said with his arms around my waist.

"Great, I know a place we can go, just need to make one phone call" - I said.

STEVE'S POV

He turned around to call someone. His office was really fancy, everything looked expensive. It was one of my biggest concerns in the beginning, he always lived in luxury and money and I wasn't like that, but it never became an issue in our relationship, people think he is a selfish and arrogant Playboy, I thought that before I got to know him better.

"Let's go" - he said and smiled. - " But before we leave..."

He said and kissed me fiercely, it took me by surprise.

"Ooh, Please let's have lunch really fast" - I said smiling, this kiss was supposed to do this to me, it was on purpose, I could see in his face.

We got into the restaurant, it was different from what Tony is used to.

When I looked at the walls I smiled. It was a restaurant in honor to military soldiers. It had pictures of lots of them and in a huge wall there was a huge picture of me.

"Be prepared to feel the love" - Tony said and we stepped forward.

The room went silent, I could feel my body burning from the stares. Everyone, no exception, was looking at me.

"I can't believe captain America is here, let me say, you're our hero and inspiration" - a man who appeared to be the owner came to me, I noticed he wore a prosthetic leg. And it was quite advanced technology.

I took a better look, it was a place for veteran's in rehabilitation and I could see some of the things were Tony's contribution.

They starting applauding me, I was happy, feeling loved. A lot of them came to talk to me, thank me, hug me, some of them cried. I talked to a lot of them during lunch, some of them asked for autographs, it was surreal, but I felt home. I could exchange stories with those people, I felt human.

We said goodbye to them, when we got to the car I took a deep breath and looked to a smiling Tony.

"Thank you for that" - I said to him.

"You deserve all of this, all this love and admiration"

"You help them, don't you? Those prosthetic legs, arms and other things..." - he was amazing.

"It's the least I can do. They served our country, they deserve it. You too." - he said and started riding to the industries. - " They ask me to bring you there for ages, but I hated your guts, so..."

"And now you love me, that's a thin line" - I laughed, it was incredibly hard to believe.  - "See how good you are? Don't let some person who is so coward to send unidentified boxes say otherwise"

We got back to his office and his secretary wasn't back yet.

We got into his room. I locked the door.

"Seems like we still have time" - he said smiling.

He jumped in my lap and I caught him with no effort.

I pressed him against the wall kissing and sucking his neck, while he pulled my hair really hard.

I pulled his tie and kissed his lips, our tongues desperately seeking each other. I picked him up and sat on the couch with him on my lap facing me.

"You're so sexy in suits" - I said and finished unbuttoning his shirt.

I kissed his chest, he was moaning already. He took my shirt off. I was really turned on, especially because it was a different place.

He started moving his hips on my lap, I was getting harder and harder.

"Oh my God, Tony" - I moaned with my hands on his hips, guiding his movements.

I threw my head back and moaned. My breath was irregular, he was driving me crazy.

I took his blazer off leaving the opened shirt and the tie on. I bit his lower lip. I got up and put him back on the couch on his knees. I pulled his tie and put my hips against his ass.

"Oh God" - he gasped when I rubbed my boner against his ass.

I slapped his ass so hard, he arched his back.

I pulled his tie. I was about to take his pants off when someone knocked at the door.

We got scared and started getting dressed really fast.

"I'll be right there" - Tony shouted, his breath irregular. Both our faces red, my hair was messy.

He finished putting his clothes and we put ourselves together, well at least as much as possible.

He opened the door and she got in. She stared at us with a confused face.

"Well, Stark, you really don't change, I'm done trying to convince you" - I yelled like we were arguing and she seemed to buy it. - "I'm sorry about that, Glenda"

I said and kissed her hand before I stormed out. It was the perfect cover up.

Please call me if something happens. I love you

I texted him right after I left.

TONY'S POV

Glenda came in to tell me there was a unexpected meeting later, I sat at my desk still shook up because of Steve.

I worked a lot all day long, but I was happy. Steve made my day.

"Sir, I'm leaving, need anything?" - Glenda said entering my office.

"No, thank you" - I said and smiled at her.

"Have a good night,sir. And here, this came for you a few minutes ago" - she said and left a box in my desk.

My throat closed.

"Do you know who delivered it?" - I asked trying to hide my panic.

"No sir, the doorman just said someone left it there, but the man who delivered said it was a private gift from a friend and he was just following orders." - she said and shrugged.

"Ok, have a good night" - I dismissed her and she left.

I stared at the box, not knowing what to do, I drank some Scott, but my head just got messier.

I walked in my room for a long moment, trying to put myself together.

I finally had the guts to open the box and in that moment I realized that the person who was doing this wanted to hurt me more than psychologically.

DO WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE A LONG TIME AGO BUT NEVER HAD THE GUTS! MAYBE YOU COULD STOP HURTING EVERYONE.

Along with the note,like if it wasn't enough, there was a bottle of pills, a Swiss army knife, a bottle of vodka and a car key.

I felt like I was choking and everything there hurt me inside painfully. I have tried every one of those... I felt my stomach wrap like when I tried to kill myself with pills and vodka, but Pepper found me and took me to the hospital, I dragged her into this.

I remembered the pain from the cuts I made in my body, but never had the guts to do it to kill me. And finally when I tried to kill myself in the car accident and failed again, hurting Steve and everyone else.

I let the tears fall down my face, I was running out of air. I lied on the floor, trying to breath between the hiccups.

I reached the phone, my hand weak and shaking I dialed Steve's number, then suddenly, everything went dark.

STEVE'S POV

My phone was ringing, it was Tony, I picked up right away.

"Hey,honey" - I said,but he didn't answer. - "Tony?"

No answer.

I kept calling his name, but he didn't answer. Without saying anything to anyone I got my motorcycle and rode to his office the fast as I could.

My hands were sweating, I was feeling a knot forming in my throat. Something happened.

I got to his office and went up, the doorman knew me so it was easy.

His office door was locked, I knocked and called him,but he didn't answer.

I didn't think twice, I kicked it and put it down really fast, luckily there was no one in that floor.

When I got in I froze. I didn't see him , just a bottle of pills opened in his desk, vodka... When I stepped forward I saw blood, there he was.

Lied on the floor, a knife in his hand, his wrist cut. My heart skipped a beat, my legs lost strength and I fell on my knees by his side.

"Babe, please be alive" - I was already crying.

I felt his pulse. He was alive.

I sat down behind him and pulled him to me between my legs. I couldn't panic before I helped him,so I just focused, took my shirt off and tied on his wrist so he wouldn't loose more blood, I applied more pressure with my hand to help stop the bleeding.

I called the first person that came in my head that could help fast without making a mess.

I made the phone call and waited with Tony unconscious in my arms, I couldn't stop crying.

"Oh, please don't die" - I was feeling my whole body tremble.

I've never felt so afraid in my whole life, like a part of me was dying.

I was falling apart.