Hello, my loves, I'm really sorry for all the time I've been away, I had some really rough times this past month, health issues in my family! But I'm back and ready for your love 🖤 hope you enjoy this chapter, the next one won't take long, I promise, I'll start writing tomorrow! Love y'all

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Natasha's POV

I was in Shield's office waiting to talk to Fury, Steve begged me to try to convince him not to come see Tony now, cause we all knew the stress it was going to be on all of us and specially on Tony, who doesn't need it right now.

I was getting bored of waiting already.

"Hey, Natasha" - I heard someone talk to me and sit by my side.

It was Bucky.

"Are you stalking me?" - I asked, but I was actually relieved to have company.

"In fact, yes, I am, I knew you were coming here and there was no one to come with you so I decided to keep you company and also give you a ride back home after"

"I came on my motorcycle" - I said suspicious of his intentions.

"I'll drive side by side, it'll be fun" - he smiled and blinked.

Since this episode with Tony, we've been a lot closer and it has been more dangerous each day, cause we have a connection and Bruce needs to be absent right now for long periods of time. I was confused and feeling ashamed and guilty for something that didn't even happen.

STEVE'S POV

Tony was already lied on the table, strapped on the ankles and wrists, with no pants, just some tight shorts and his shirt, they needed to see his leg muscles reactions,which were attached to wires. I was near his head looking down at him.

Although he was keeping a straight face I could see through his eyes that he was scared.

"We're ready for the first one, Tony, tell me when you are ready " - Stephen said and sat to control de machine.

Bruce came closer to Tony.

Tony looked at me. I didn't say anything, I just leaned and gave him a kiss on his forehead, I sat on a bench near him and held his hand.

"I'm ready" - he said.

"Before we need to explain to you the procedure," - Stephen said.

"I rather not, it's better even for my body reactions cause I won't know what to expect"  - Tony interrupted him bravely.

They nodded and Headed back to the machine.

"Your hand is sweating and is not even you, babe" - he laughed at me.

"Yeah, it's not me, it's you, which is worse"

The nervousness I was feeling was absolutely inexplicable. I didn't know I was going to feel this way just to see him near being injured again. I am traumatized, but I need to be here for him.

________x_________

Natasha's POV

We were inside Fury's office after a long waiting. He was just staring at us from across his desk.

"I have an angry counsel and press asking for explanations." - he finally talked after a long silence.

"Sir, we can explain, we thought..." - Bucky started talking but I put my hand on his leg so he would stop.

"With all do respect, sir, I don't care, I'm sorry and I think is really horrible of you not to put Tony's life first, the most important thing is that he's alive and no one here seemed to care about his life so that's why we removed him" - I talked trying to keep control, my blood heating up.

"And you all think you know what's best for Stark than us?"- He asked

"Yes, we do. And we know about the plans you had for him, so don't think we come empty handed. Leave Tony alone for some time, let him recover" - I said looking into his eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about,but ok, I can talk to them and keep them away for some days, but don't think you're gonna be able to delay the press that much, Tony Stark is not someone you hide for long" - he said. - " I'm not your enemy, Romanoff"

Bucky and I got up and left the office and headed to our motorcycles outside. I took a deep breath.

"Everything is going to be fine" - Bucky and touched my shoulder.

I quickly climbed on my motorcycle and we headed back to the tower.

...

TONY'S POV

I was looking into Steve's eyes when they turned on the machine. It started really ok, I wasn't really feeling anything.

After a few seconds they turned up the intensity and I was staring to feel pain, not only on my legs but on my head.

But I just clenched my jaw took a deep breath and took it all in.

"Now your body is in the alert state we wanted, we are going to start shooting some real shock waves through your body . Can you handle? " - Bruce asked and I just shook my head and grabbed Steve's hands holding them strong.

I looked at him for a brief moment and he was not looking fine, his expression was tense and desperate.

They hit me when I was distracted by Steve, it was so much pain I screamed loudly.

"Oh my God" - Steve shouted desperate. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were red.

"Can you handle one more, Tony?" - Strange asked and I agreed.

"Yes"

"Stop, please, no, I'm begging" - Steve said.

When I looked at him he was sitting down, out of control, his hands on his head.

"Tony, it's your call, we're in the middle of the process" - Bruce said.

I looked to the machine and looked at Steve, I compared both pains to make my decision, which one was more painful for me.

"Stop, please" - I said and Strange and Bruce were pissed off.

They reluctantly turned off the machine and untied me. My muscles were shaky so I tried to walk myself to the chair Steve was in, falling on my knees when I got to it.

"Look at me, babe" - I said holding his face between my hands. - "It stopped, you can relax now"

...

Natasha's POV

We've been at the garage for a couple of minutes since we arrived.

"Well, since we're here I might as well ask what's bothering you" - Bucky asked.

"It's just that I'm tired of being held back taking orders from people above me,you know, why do they get to control us if we are the heroes?" - I just wondered leaned on my motorcycle.

"I know what you mean, trust me, I've been controlled for a long time, unfortunately, some other kinds of powers are more meaningful than ours for some people, specially in this country"

It was so nice to talk to someone who understands me fully.

Suddenly Bruce showed up a little fuzzy.

"What happened? I thought you were still treating Tony." - I asked

"Yeah we had to stop today because the friend of you both was selfish enough to make it stop" - Bruce was angry and frustrated.

I assumed that by friend of us both he was talking about Steve.

"And also now we get a message about you rebelling with Fury? Are you 16? You were supposed to talk to him formally and politely, not rebel." - he said

"Are you out of your mind? Who do you think you are to say how I should or shouldn't speak? I said what needed to be said to help our friend Tony."

He rubbed his face and scratched his eyes, thinking about the stupidness he just said.

"I'm sorry, Nath"

"Ok, I'll talk to you later,ok?" - I said and he left.

I rubbed my face cause I was upset, the tears that came were just because I was mad.

I felt big arms hug me from behind and the cold metal on my skin.

"I'm sorry, I know the metal is not the comforting but..." - Bucky said and rest his chin on my shoulder.

"Thanks, it's perfect"

This closeness was dangerous,but so comforting.

...

Tony's POV

We were in the bedroom Steve didn't talk to me since we left the treatment. He just took me in his arms and put me in bed.

"Honey?" - I called him.

He looked at me but didn't approximate.

"Rogers" - I called him more serious now and that called his attention. - "can you tell me what's happening?"

"I'm sorry. I ruined everything, I'm pulling you down instead of helping" - he said and sat on the bed in front of me.

"What? Where did you get that from?" - I frowned. It hurt me that he could think that.

"I was the one that put you into his situation in the first place, you had a crisis today because of me and you stopped your treatment in the middle cause I wasn't strong enough " - He put his face between his hands embarrassed.

"That's a lot of bullshit" - I said and he looked surprised. - " Really, I'm not even going to apologize, think about the idiotic things you just said"

He just kept staring at me not knowing how to react.

"Steve, I'm going to say this again because I love you, but I hate repeating important things. You are the one the keeps me alive, you didn't put me in this situation, you know that, I trust you blind that you would never hurt me on purpose and I don't feel like this about anybody in my life" - I said looking into his blue beautiful eyes, trying not to get emotional.

"I had a crisis cause I have PTSD and you know about that, of course it would be worse with a traumatic event, it's not your fault. And I stopped the treatment because I saw how you were, but the choice was mine, cause it hurts me more to see you like that and I don't even know what happened"

My eyes were wet and my breath was heavy already, I was trying to hold back the emotions.

"I've been feeling odd lately, since you've been gone I can't get rid of those memories and seeing you getting hurt today just made me hurt inside, I can't even explain the pain I felt, it was traumatic like that night, the worst pain I've ever felt on my body is when yours is hurt and I don't mean to sound stupid or just silly, I really mean it" - he said it then held my hands.

I started crying cause I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I never thought someone could feel like that about me in my whole life.

TO BE CONTINUED...