Izzy's P.O.V.

~ 17th January 1991 - 6.00 am ~

"Boarding passes please," the air hostess asked Mel and me with a sickly sweet smile, "Lovely, enjoy your flight, guys."

"Man, it's been so long since I've been on an aeroplane." Mel gushed as we walked through the boarding bridge.

"And now you'll be on one for a long time. Hope you've got some activities planned for the next 18 hours."

Duff, Slash, and Dizzy were giggling behind us like a pair of schoolgirls, while Axl strutted in front of us and Matt tried to keep up with him. I was secretly dreading the flight; I expecting to be embarrassed by at least one of my bandmates at some point. Duff suffered severe anxiety attacks so he would be trying his best to drown himself in alcohol in hopes he would conk out for most of the flight. Also, Duff had yet another reason to drown his sorrows; he had recently split up with Mel's friend, Deborah. I wasn't sure what exactly happened between them, the last time I had seen them together they seemed pretty normal and happy. As for the rest of the band, Axl was always unpredictable, Slash was always drunk or strung out to some degree, and as for Dizzy and Matt, I didn't really know either of them that well yet. I felt so self-conscious, I didn't want anyone to think we were a bunch of losers, mainly Mel. I didn't want her to think my band, my family, had become intoxicated idiots. Sure she knew we were ratbags anyway, but ever since Stevie left, I felt like our band had started to show some cracks. Before we could be high and drunk but we'd still be able to focus and get shit done. The drugs and alcohol were starting to take their toll on the guys, they seemed slightly sloppier, Duff was starting to look a bit puffy in the face... unless he had always been like that. Since I had become clean, I saw everything in a completely different light; it made me second-guess everything I once knew.

"The real question is will you be able to keep your hands off me for 18 hours." Mel smirked at me as she gave me "do me now" eyes.

"Well, if you look at me like that it's going to really test me."

"Trying to have sex in an aeroplane toilet doesn't work well. Trust me." Axl laughed as he turned around to talk to us.

We were flying to Rio de Janeiro for our Rock in Rio gig. I wanted Mel to come with me to be my support since it was going to be my first gig being clean. As much as I don't want to admit it, I really didn't trust myself. It was hard enough being around the guys in the studio with questionable white powders and alcohol around me, but when your adrenaline is pumping from a show, you always want to take it to the next level. Drugs always calmed me but at the same time gave me that boost of confidence for me to give the audience my best. Our two shows had sold out and we were about to face at least 140,000 fans both nights, and I honestly had no idea how to mentally prepare myself.

Mel plonked down on the seat next to me, pulling me out of my thoughts. She looked disturbed.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh... I just walked in on Duff snorting some powder up his nose. He didn't lock the door so I just.... yeah, saw that."

"Ah," I nodded awkwardly.

Mel just blinked at me.

"You're not concerned?"

"Well, he suffers pretty bad panic attacks, and flying can be a hard time for him. The powder is just one of the many ways to help him calm down."

"Can't he just have a Valium or a sleeping aid tablet or something?"

"We're 'rock stars', Mel, we always gotta do things the hard way. God forbid we be wimps." I mocked. "But hey, you can't be too judgy, I used to do that shit not too long ago. My septum is fucked, remember?"

Mel looked guilty.

"I'm sorry. But don't you think you should start to be a good influence on the guys?" She hushed as the rest of the band were not that far away from our seats. "You got rid of Stevie because of his problems, I mean what if you have to fire someone else because they go too far down the drain?"

"You have a very good argument there, babe, but you also can't force people to come clean, it helps heaps if they want to help themselves too."

"I kind of forced you though. Remember? I shoved those plane tickets in your hand and drove you to the airport."

I winced.

"You're right, but, you know, it's a touchy subject. I don't really want to talk about it at the moment if that's okay." I mumbled.

The whole thing made me feel awkward. Did I have some responsibility now? The last thing I wanted was to be a "parent" to the band. They were grown-ups, the choices they all made were all their own decisions. Surely no one will get as bad as Stevie...

The flight was indeed a very long one. Sure I was having fun talking shit with my wife, Mel. Wife... God, that excited me. She was so beautiful I could barely function, and I was very tempted to take her into the bathroom and give her a good time, but I had to take Axl's advice. Those bathrooms were way too small for that shit. I was itching for a cigarette, no doubt the rest of the band were too. I had started smoking heaps more since I became clean, it was my only dirty habit left in me and I clung onto it as tightly as possible. Melanie wouldn't say much whenever I'd light up, but she'd always give me an unimpressed look.

Finally, the hours whittled down, and it was time for us to land. Just before touch down we received an announcement from the captain "Folks, we've just received some news that U.S. forces have begun bombing Iraq in Operation Desert Storm. America is at war." What the hell?

"Fuck! Are they going to hate us now? Is anyone going to show up to our gig?" Duff suddenly stuck his head between our seats (he was sitting behind us but he still scared the fuck out of Mel and me).

"I'm sure you guys will be fine?" Mel tried to comfort Duff, but she wasn't very good at hiding her concerned face.

When we landed, 8,000 people were waiting on the tarmac, with police in riot gear holding machine guns, keeping them back so they wouldn't run out to the plane. Guns N' Roses they screamed, holding up banners and waving their hands around. What is even happening right now? I need a smoke.

"I'm getting some Beatles vibes here," Mel muttered into my ear.

"This is fuckin' nuts, guys," Duff slurred as we made our way off the plane.

We had security guards all around us, and the rest of the normal passengers from our flight all looked very alarmed at the large crowd. We were shuffled into a black limo with blacked-out windows, and I felt like we were being treated like important politicians or something. 

"We're going straight to your motel. Just warning you guys that the whole city is excited about your arrival and more will be waiting for you at the hotel. You'll each be assigned a guard for your own safety." This guy in a suit said to us.

"I won't need one," I muttered as I lit up my smoke. Ah, instant relief.

"Izzy!" Mel slapped my arm and looked at me with widened eyes.

"What? I'm not a big target compared to the rest of the guys, it's easy for me to slip into a crowd."

"Still, Mr Stradlin, it's for your own safety. Just see how you go first."

We arrived at some hotel called Copacabana-something, I didn't really pay that much attention. Fans were swarming around the front doors, and more security guards were waiting for us as soon as the car stopped. Fuck, there's so many people. They managed to create a path for us to make our way through and while we walked inside as quickly as possible. I could barely hear myself think our fans were so loud. I can't breathe. The hotel's front doors blocked out most of the noise as we entered but I still felt so trapped, almost like someone was sitting on my chest.

"This really is fuckin' nuts," I repeated Duff's words as I ran my hand through my hair.

I needed a drink or a snort of something... anything to take the edge off my sudden shot of anxiety. I gripped Mel's hand and I tried to suppress my thoughts. I was eventually given my room key by reception and I couldn't wait to get inside our room. I pulled Mel with me as I bolted to the elevator.

"Are you okay?"

"No. I feel like I can't breathe."

Mel's face suddenly changed from confused to alarmed. The ride in the elevator felt like it took 100 years, and once we hit our floor, we bolted to find our room number. Mel shoved the key into the door and I rushed inside to instantly move to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. The water put out the fires that were going on inside my head, for the time being anyway. I heard our room's door close and I looked in the mirror to see Mel hesitantly walk in behind me.

"I'm alright now, I think. Just a little overwhelmed with the fans and shit. Jetlagged as well I guess." I looked down at the sink as I pressed my cold hands to my face and took in a big gulp of air. 

I felt Mel delicately place her hands on my shoulders and I looked back into the mirror.

"Can I be honest with you?" I asked.

Mel nodded.

"I really wanted to... I feel like I need some of that toxic shit I used to abuse to take the edge off all these... emotions." I regrettably admitted.

"No, you don't. Don't throw your sobriety down the drain. You've worked so hard, don't give up now. We can do something else to calm your nerves."

She was right. This is why I need Mel. Without her, at that moment I would have bolted to find Duff or Slash so we could find somewhere to score.

"Please don't leave my side, Mel. I really need you right now."

~

So I've just finished reading Duff's autobiography, and it helped me write some elements of this chapter. I would 100% recommend reading his book if you haven't yet! Also, I changed this book's cover the other day just for something different. Do you guys like it or prefer the original? ALSO also let me know what you thought of this update! Don't forget to vote and comment <3 As always thank you for everyone's support x (The pic attached is what I imagine Izzy looking like after his exhausting flight.)