Deceit had one last card to play, one last plan to spring to life. It was going to hurt - and he was sick of things hurting, he really was - but he was willing to hurt for Virgil. Because that's what this all came down to. Not bringing Virgil back to them, not because he was theirs. It was about following him into the light, about redemption for Deceit and Remus.

Because even the bad guys were good guys once, and every bad guy has the potential to be good again.

So Deceit picked himself up, put himself back together, told Remus to wait, and walked into the shadows where something Evil had once lived. Nothing lived there anymore. The Abyss was empty, the Wall was together again. And perhaps the wall was stronger now, not weaker, because Deceit had put more than his power into fixing it. He had put more than shimmering darkness.

He'd put light into it - purple, green and yellow - because he was tired of the seething, writhing darkness that he'd had to grovel and live in. He was tired of pretending that Virgil belonged only to the Dark Sides, because Virgil had found happiness somewhere else and Deceit-

No.

Janus had every intention of following him into those arms of comfort and safety.

"Don't do it," Remus said quietly, following Janus into the shadows. They wriggled to make space for him. Janus didn't dare look back at him, not yet. "Not now. We can go home."

Janus shook his head. "At what cost?" He asked desperately, squeezing his eyes shut. "What's left for us there?"

The shadows brushed along Deceit's face, hissing along the scales that hadn't been there, once. Janus had hated them for a long time, had even once tried to rip them off, but they soothed him now. He'd grown his own armour, he'd protected himself. He didn't need whatever hollow support the Dark Sides could offer him.

"Remus," he whispered to the shadows. "Please."

Remus's hand landed on Deceit's shoulder and spun him around. 

My, how they'd changed. In a moment of introspection, Janus could see them both as they'd been - eyes full of anger and pain and loss, blood fizzling with the need to not be alone, the need to stop watching their friends leave them behind. Wild things, that's what they'd been. Wild things that lashed out and screamed and pretended to be bad, when they were really just hurting.

"You can't go," Remus said through gritted teeth, even as indecision warred with regret in his eyes. "You can't just leave. You can't go back to Virgil, again and again and again. One day, you have to stop."

And yes, one day, Janus would. He would stop running, and he would stop fighting, and he would stop trying to be everything that he knew he wasn't. But Thomas needed him not to be a Dark Side. Janus needed himself not to be a Dark Side. There was so much more to him, so much more that he could be doing. 

"Please," he said again, one last time. Because if Remus didn't go with him now, then Janus would leave him, like Virgil had left him, and they would only ever see themselves as enemies. "Please."

And Remus's hand lifted off his shoulder.

The loss of that touch resonated through the shadows, resonated through Janus's body as Remus took with him the last strand of Deceit. Because Deceit had been a Dark Side, and Deceit had been bitter, and Deceit had wanted so much more for himself and for his people, and now Janus was something Grey, at best, and nothing at all, at worst.

"Goodbye, old friend," said Remus, his composure and cunning and emotion restrained and moulded into something dangerously close to affection. It would be the last time that Janus ever heard such a thing. 

Because they were enemies now. 

Remus wasn't going to leave the Dark Sides, not like Virgil had done. Not like Janus had done.

And maybe that should scare him. Because they'd all been so intent on getting Virgil back, so intent on making him theirs again. They'd hunt Janus down, like he'd once hunted Virgil, and they'd be so much less than they were before, because there was so much less to them. 

The Dark Sides just kept on losing, and Deceit was the one who's thought he could've won it all back. 

Janus knew without seeing it that Remus had gone back to them, had left him to the shadows that Janus himself commanded. And maybe it was supposed to hurt - that Janus wasn't the first one to leave - but freedom prickles along whatever human skin Janus had left. He was done. He was out.

He was Grey, at best. Nothing at all, at worst.

There was a longing in him, he thought, as he dissolved into the shadows. He wanted to go to Virgil now, wanted to get down on his knees and plead for his friend to take him back, to let him in, to please not cast him out into the nothing. He'd done all this for Virgil. 

Virgil might've done it for him, too, once.

But he couldn't. Not now. Not after what Deceit had said to his old friend, desperate in his attempts to get Virgil back. Not after what Deceit had done to Patton, what Deceit had done to tear them all apart. Because Patton hadn't deserved that, and though it had worked itself out, Janus still hadn't said 'sorry'.

Patton hadn't asked him to.

So Janus couldn't go to Virgil, not yet. Not until he'd mended things with the others. Not until he'd apologised and begged and thrown himself at the mercy of the one person who might be able to talk Virgil into letting Janus stay.

"I think it's time we finally had a talk," a quiet voice said from the doorway as Janus sat on Patton's bed and stared at his hands. They were Grey hands now, but there were stains on them, under the gloves. Forever stained by the darkness that he'd lived in for too many years. Hands that shouldn't be a part of him but were.

He looked up at Patton, who glowed strong and sure in the dimness of the room. Janus wanted to be strong like that. Wanted to be light like that. "No lies," he begged. He was tired of lies. He was tired of it all. 

He was Grey, at best. Nothing at all, at worst.

Patton nodded his assent, and Deceit looked back down at his gloved hands. "How can you forgive me after what I've done?"

When Patton didn't do anything but appraise him consideringly, Janus felt a part of him wither away and die. He was afraid of this, was so desperately afraid of not being allowed here, on this side of the wall that separated them. Because he couldn't go back. Remus would never accept him again. Nobody would ever accept him again.

Janus couldn't let himself be Deceit, not again. Not now. Not after everything.

Patton sat on the bed beside him. Janus didn't know what that meant. "When Virgil first became a side, I was terrified," Patton admitted gently, spreading his fingers on the duvet. Janus tried not to lean away from the words. "I couldn't combat the energies he was giving off. I went with it, because I liked to avoid conflict. He kept pushing Thomas, kept pushing us. I didn't understand him - why couldn't he see what he was doing to our Host?"

And Janus knew that, he promised he did. He didn't want to hurt Thomas, and now he found he didn't really want to hurt the others either. Janus was Grey, at best. Nothing at all, at worst. He flinched away. "I-"

Patton didn't let him go far. "It took me a long time to figure out that he was just as scared as I was," Patton continued softly. "He his behind his name, and his purpose. We let him do that, and then we shunned him for that. I've not quite forgiven myself for that."

And oh.

How he'd ever felt threatened by Patton, Janus couldn't understood. Because this settled, understanding Side was nothing short of a miracle. Nothing short of a message, sent to him just as his grip was slipping from the edge. Remus should have been this for him - Remus had tried to be this for him, but Remus had been broken by Virgil leaving, had been broken by his fear.

Patton had been made stronger by it.

Janus wanted to say sorry, didn't know how to make the words fit out of his mouth. Because he was sorry - words couldn't express the regret he felt, the pain he'd caused himself by trying to spread his misery to everyone else.

"I want..." He tried to make his voice work, to tell this Light Side that he was so scared of slipping back into the shadows, of being a monster again. He wanted to say that he wanted Virgil, that he wanted love. That he wanted to be safe. "I think I want..."

Patton smiled and moved his hand until his fingers were brushing against Janus's. An offer. A lifeline. A bond of friendship that would form as soon as Janus let himself reach back. "We;ll be ready," Patton promised as Janus accepted that tentative offer. "Whenever yo decide you want to join us, we'll be waiting with open arms."

The shadows seemed a little less dark after that.

Janus was Grey, at worst. A Light Side, a friend, a brother, at best.

.

HOLY SHIT THIS BOOK HAS TAKEN SO LONG TO FINISH!

There's one more update to come, and I'm going to double update for you :)