re-published with plot edits. it's a lot harder re-writing these two chapters than i thought it would be, so if you notice anything i missed please leave a comment!

LIAM HAS OPENED HIS CHAT WITH MALIA

MOM

SON!

MY SON

MOM!

MOM

I WAS WONDERING IF
YOU AND YOUR MANS WANTED
TO GO ON A DOUBLE-DATE
WITH ME AND SCOTT

MY SON

you AND scott? i
did not think that
my parents wanted to
have any part in my
dating life lol

MOM

THAT IS PARTLY TRUE.
I WISH TO HAVE NO
DETAILS ABOUT YOUR
SEX LIFE, HOWEVER
I THINK IT COULD BE FUN.

MY SON

IM A VIRGIN I SWEAR

but yeah i am of the down
i'm sure theo will be too!

MOM

I DONT BELIEVE
THAT FOR A SECOND

OKAY I WILL CREATE A GC

MY SON

okie dokie

ALSO ALL THIS TEXTING
IN CAPS LOCK IS MAKING
ME OVERWHELMED

LIAM HAS OPENED A GROUP CHAT WITH MALIA, SCOTT, AND THEO

MOM HAS NAMED GROUP CHAT BITCHES

MOM

MY BITCHES HELLO

BABY 💓

hello?

MY SON

hi mom

FATHER SCOOT

i thought i was your
only bitch 🥺

MOM

YOU ARE MY FAVE
BITCH BUT NOT MY
ONLY

IM FOR EVERYBODY

BABY 💓

she's for errybody

MY SON

enough with the tiktok
songs, my mother had a
reason for making this gc

MOM

My child is correct. I had
an unlike me idea.

MY SON

it took me by surprise

BABY 💓

that's not saying much
babe

MY SON

shush

MOM

ANYWAYYYS, we should
go on a double-date.

FATHER SCOOT

okay not what i was
expecting.

i really prefer to stay out
of my children's dating
lives, but if you really want
to i guess we can.

BABY 💓

that sounds fun! what
were you wanting to do?

we could go see the new
incredibles

MY SON

i am not going on a
double-date just to go
to the movies. if we're
gonna do this, we have to
do it right.

FATHER SCOOT

yes, but a movie would
allow for the date to be
less awkward.

plus i've been wanting to
see that movie.

MOM

movie dates are for chumps

FATHER SCOOT

bitch we just had a
movie night

MOM

porn doesn't count

MY SON

👁👄👁

BABY 💓

HUH

FATHER SCOOT

SHE'S JOKING I STG
WE JUST WATCHED
FINDING NEMO I
PROMISE

MOM

well what we were doing

was porn-like at least 😏

BABY  💓

um

FATHER SCOOT

okay i mean i can't

deny that

MY SON

malia. scott. what. the. flip.

MOM

Moving on, I wanna
play mini golf so I can show
off my skills.

Plus Cora can give me a
discount since she works
at Beacon Holes now

FATHER SCOOT

is that supposed to be
a pun?

MY SON

if it is, then it's a stupid
one

BABY 💓

you think everything
is stupid, babe.

MOM

^

I'll call da cousin then.
If you don't like it @Liam
then you can choose what
to do after.

Or you can fall in a hole.

MY SON

WHY THE HECK  DO
PEOPLE STILL BRING
THAT UP?? I FELL IN A
HOLE ONE TIME!

FATHER SCOOT

what do you expect?
it was hilarious and
you are never gonna
live it down.

MY SON

BABY 💓

if it's any consolation,
i still love you and your
clueless references!

MY SON

thanks,  baby. ily2

BABY 💓

FATHER SCOOT

ew, nobody likes elton

MY SON

i didn't know that you've
seen clueless!

FATHER SCOOT

julia made malia and i watch it
a few months ago and i
got hooked.

MOM

He literally won't stop
talking about it and it
makes me want to rip my
own throat out.

FATHER SCOOT

hey now, i don't talk about it
thatttt much

MOM

Sure, Scott.

6:30 work?

FATHER SCOOT

i was gonna help stiles
with his new lego star
wars dead star thing
but i doubt he'll care
that much if i bail.

p sure boyd asked
him if he could pick
up one of his shifts
anyways.

BABY 💓

6:30 works for me!

MY SON

yeah, 6:30 sounds good

also scoot it's called a death star

MOM

Sick nasty

edited