1 NEW MESSAGE
from dickwad

Hey, so, I've done a lot of thinking
about this but, what are we? Like,
I know we've been hanging out more
and talking again. But it's not the same
as when we were teens and best friends,
there's something else. And, I don't know,
I just feel like we're past a point of
friendship. At least, what I'm trying to say is,
I want us to be past the point of friendship.

Just, let me know.

Dick, maybe this should be something we
talk about in person and not through texts?

I don't think I like the vibes of that but okay.

Yes bc I plan on saying something mean right
to your face, Dick. I just want to talk about it in
person, alright?

Plus, I guess I kind of miss you.

Or whatever. Don't speak about this to anyone.

Don't want them to know you're a softy?

Cute.
[read: 9:37 am]

augustinefinleyofficial
word to the wise, never trust men
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augustinefinelyofficial
oh shit wrong account, oh well. it's still
true.
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gothamite01
she's so real, just like us, really
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batmanluvr
is this bc dick is with someone
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gothamite01
it's her 🙄
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timdrake
never trust a thing augustine says
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augustinefinleyofficial

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damianwayne
*never trust humans
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walkingcorpse
wise words
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dickgrayson
much thought put behind that, very
provoking

meetmebehindthemall
y'all my boyfriend has a secret tiktok
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meetmebehindthemall
and the content of it ... you're gonna lose
your minds
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meetmebehindthemall
he tries different random ass things around
his home & sees how many of them are needed
to hold him up on a pull-up bar
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meetmebehindthemall
said pull-up bar is not in his own home and
rather his childhood home and is duct taped
to the fucking closet doors
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meetmebehindthemall
this is the first thing I learned about him
after discussing the fact that we wanted to be
bf/gf — I can never recover.
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timbers
AYO IS THIS ABOUT DICK??
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walkingcorpse
dick & august in a relationship confirmed??
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notadilf
🤨🤨🤨

acroBAT
why tf is my tiktok account blowing up
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notsowonderous
SO ITS YOU?
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alfred
Master Grayson, I refuse to pick up this
mess of yours anymore. If you continue
to do this, please know you are cleaning
it up yourself. Also, please cover the spots
of peeled paint on the closet door.
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walkingcorpse
which one do you think did this for
him? the styrofoam or the rice cakes?
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notadilf
it was the dryer sheets.
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timbers
didn't he destroy like all of his clothes
hangers too over this?
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thebloodson
yes, he did.
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acroBAT
clearly none of you understand art,
this is why my girlfriend is better than
any of you!
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meetmebehindthemall
🤭😙🫣
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nicnames
I puked.
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meetmebehindthemall
but fr ur so stupid
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meetmebehindthemall
like ur my stupid man but ur also
an idiot!
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nicnames
this is my 13th reason

timbers
AugustDick truthers: 1
world: 0
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timbers
I hope nobody is praying on my downfall
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walkingcorpse
I'm always praying on your downfall but
not bc of this
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walkingcorpse
I actually agree, ur right
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girlinthechair
somewhere in the shadows you can hear
the gentle sobs of Jason Peter Todd realizing
he has no chance
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litebrite
and no bitches
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nicnames
I'm literally RIGHT here
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acroBAT
you don't count
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tatteddilf
somehow I was on the winning team
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timbers
sometimes you gotta lose a lil to win big
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tatteddilf
😐
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walkingcorpse
Tim said some wise words right there
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humangarbagedisposal
couldn't have put it better myself
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literalclone
my bf is so wise
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notthebird
my bf is also so wise
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nicnames
is Tim dating the both of them?

daughterofzeus
augustdick: 1
confusion: 1
timwren being a thing: ?
timkon being a thing: ?
throuple???: ????
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acroBAT
I need to KNOW.
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walkingcorpse
how has this been right under our nose and we
never saw it?
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flashforward
why did they both say "my bf" I just. what.
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meetmebehindthemall
has anyone just like ... I don't know ... asked them?
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acroBAT
no.
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walkingcorpse
no.
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flashforward
no.
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daughterofzeus
no.
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meetmebehindthemall
Jesus Christ my guys.
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meetmebehindthemall
@timbers ... are you currently dating both Kon and Wren?
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timbers
no comment.
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meetmebehindthemall
okay. @notthebird and @literalclone, got anything to say for yourselves?
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literalclone
no comment.
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notthebird
Tim and I started dating first despite august
telling me not to fall in love with my best friend
and then we realized we had feelings for Kon.
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notthebird
now we're all dating and we're an incredibly
sexy poly couple 🫶🏻.
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meetmebehindthemall
I knew I could trust in wren to give me the
deets.
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notthebird
anytime 🫡 ur practically my big sister

notadilf
a big day indeed
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walkingcorpse
the way that THIS is how the old
man reacts to not one but TWO of his
children being in meaningful relationships
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nicnames
what am I? chopped liver?
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walkingcorpse
babe we've been dating for so long and pretend
we hate each other they probs forgot about us
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notadilf
forget?? how could I forget the one person and
thing that's made my son the happiest he's ever
been. also she's August's protege we all know her.
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nicnames
that's so sweet Bruce, maybe you're not going
senile.
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walkingcorpse
yeah it was sweet or something
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notadilf
come to dinner at the manor :( Pls
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walkingcorpse
🙄🙄
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pennyworth
quite so, sir. shall i expect more guests at dinner everyone?
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walkingcorpse
depends, what's in the oven alf?
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pennyworth
my final batch of cookies
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timbers
and now the war starts 😔

AUTHORS NOTE

I couldn't wait anymore so heehee augustdick finally together (this is for my own personal enjoyment of writing augustdick together bc I love them and I need them) (pls tell me you enjoy). Also, timwrenkon mention, this has been something in my head and cf stories for a long time and alas they are here and they are queer. I love them. And jasonnico being the only functional (yet they're still a level of dysfunctional) couple in this universe ... says something fr.