Shipper: I only ship people who have NOTHING IN COMMON WHATSOEVER!

Me: fuck you.

Shipper: Ohhh! Rapists are such an ideal lover!

Me: the fuck is wrong with you?

Shipper: I don't know what to write in my fanfic next...

Me: that's because they met, had their first kiss, went on a date, and got married all in the first chapter. Fuck your fan fiction.

Shipper: I bet if I ever met my fictional crush in real life, they would date me.

Me: no. Fuck them if they did.

Shipper: OMG NO! I SHIP THEM WITH SOMEONE ELSE THEY CAN'T DATE THEM!

Me: they can and they will bitch. fuck your ships.

Shipper: MY FAVOURITE SHIP IS JEFF AND SLENDER MAN BECAUSE-

Me: FUCK NO THATS FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!