It's not even fucking midnight
I'm already fucking spiralling
I'm fucking tired
I'm fucking hurt

I feel alone but I know I'm not
The joke rattled in my head
I know it was a joke
I fucking started it
But in my head
It became more
It always does

I want to fucking shout
But I'm quiet
I'm quiet a lot
Sound builds in my throat
Then it just dies

I've been alone a lot
Hopefully not any more

I'm upset
I don't know why
I'm cautious
I do know why
I'm wrong
I don't know why
I'm worrying
I always am
I'm hyperactive
That's my fault

I'm afraid of losing myself
I think I might
I'm afraid of being ruined
But I'm drawing ever closer

It's an ideation I think