I haven't been able to hide my smile, even as I finish checking the copious amount of emails as every Monday morning. 

Reading about other people's crisis usually dampens my mood. 

Not today. 

Today, I feel warm and happy, and like I can conquer the whole world. I'm even answering the most depressing emails, sending words of encouragement, something I've never done before.

I don't even mind the fact that five paparazzi followed me from home to work. I kind of expected that at some point, and seeing Emily and Scott deal with this as an everyday thing, it doesn't bother me that much.

Blowing out the steam over the rim of my coffee mug, I lean back on my chair and my smiles widens as I re-read the last message: "Don't let people define who you are. Being different is great that means that you're staying true to yourself and the world would be a better place if everyone weres as brave as you."

The email was about a girl trying to come out to her friends and family, she was scared at how people would react. 

I sigh. 

I can't understand how hard this most be for people, but I sure as hell hope that she finds some comfort in my words and that loved ones do welcome her for being so brave.

I'm still feeling warm and hopeful, when a new email comes in. 

My whole body freezes as I stare at the screen in shock. I got an email from Mr. Smith, my editor. I don't think we've ever talked. Like, ever. I blink at the screen several times before I swallow hard. My eyes go to my phone because I feel the inclination to message Mark and tell him that my freaking editor sent me a message but I frown. 

Since when do I have the need to tell him everything? 

I'm an independent woman, I can deal with anything that comes my way, and yet, I can imagine Mark's response already, probably a girl doing the belly-dance in a gif. I smile. I'll definitely sent him a message later. I guess it's okay to want to talk to him about everything isn't it?
A sigh escapes my lips as I roll my eyes at myself. 

I click on the email and my heart is racing as the window pops up.

Dear Kate,
I would love to talk to you about a new project we'd want you to lead. Please let me know when you have time to meet with me.
Charles Smith.

He wants to talk to me? About a new project? 

I have to read the email three times. I open my mouth and then I close it again. Holy crap.This is what I've been dreaming over the last three years. My hands are shaking as I grab my mug to take a sip.

I read the email once more. They want me to lead the project, too! That sounds so important and so freaking awesome!

I don't want to seem too desperate, so I stop myself from typing the answer. Breathing out, I leave the email window open and concentrate on answering a few messages, but my eyes keep wandering to the email window. 

After five minutes, I give up. I can't concentrate for the life of me. Instead, I grab my phone while still trying to delay the answer. I type a quick message to Mark, telling him that I might be in for a promotion. My phone beeps before I place it back on the desk, and my lips curve up.

Bravo! We need to celebrate! I'll pick you up at 7 pm.

I answer back that he's on before I look at the clock. Eight minutes have passed, that's enough time not to look so desperate, or at least I hope so. I do try to type slower and I read my answer three times before I send it. I almost type that I'm free in that instant, but I give it one hour.

My editor answers back immediately. He wants to see me right now. 

Shit. Shit.

I blink at the screen before grabbing my purse and taking out a mirror to check how presentable I look. Hair is a bit messy, but it will have to do. I apply some lip gloss and hope for the best. The mirror makes a snap noise when I close it and my heartbeats are already racing. I swallow hard and clear my throat as I stand up. With both hands, I straighten my blouse and I look down to see that everything is buttoned and I look presentable, not like the mess I feel inside. 

Holy crap.

I don't think I've ever seen Mr. Smith's office. Not since I got this job, three years ago. 

Be calm, Kate. 

Don't blow it. 

I nod to myself as I exhale once more. 

I got this. I can do it. 

Before I leave my office, I turn back as if this were the last time I'll see it. Maybe it will. Maybe I'll be one of those fancy offices upstairs, a few doors behind Mr. Smith's office. 

The elevator's door opens and I'm thankful it's empty. My breathing is erratic and at least I can hyperventilate on my own for a few seconds. The little bell chimes as the elevator stops and I take one last breath, trying to calm myself. The doors open and my eyes travel across the hallway. It's so pretty. There are paneled windows to my left and there's a fantastic view of the city. The whole floor smells like caramel and coffee and I wonder if they have those fancy coffee machines that can make a caramel macciatto in seconds. 

Mr. Smith's office is at the end of the hallway. Slowly, I move forward. May hands are trembling by my sides and I clench them for a second before I knock on his door. 

"Come in," a voice says from inside. When I open the door, my editor, the man I'd been dreaming to get an email from over the last years, beams at me. "Good morning Kate, please take a seat." His hair is salt and pepper and his wearing what looks like an expensive suit.  "How have you been?"

My breath caughts in my chest. Since when has he been interested in how I am?

"Great, thank you. And you?" I answer after I realize that he's actually waiting for my answer.

The door opens once more, and a woman walks in. Not any woman. Anne Jupiter, of all people. She's in charge of entertaining and we have a love-hate relationship. Okay, no. We have a full-on hate one. The woman is evil. She has been making my life hell after I denied to cover a movie premier just because I had nice legs as she said to me. 

My brows crease. Calm down, Kate. Maybe she just wants to ask something unrelated to you. I'm telling myself that, when she takes a seat next to me. 

"Thank you for joining us Anne, especially in such short notice."

"It's my pleasure, Charles." Her voice is squeaky and I try my best not to roll my eyes. 

"Okay, since we're all here, let's start this meeting," Mr. Smith says looking at us both. "I'll go straight to the point, Kate. We know you've gotten closer to the Royal family, and we'd love to get the inside scoop on what's going on inside their circle."

"Especially anything that has to do with Prince Mark," Anne chimes in. 

My lips part and my chest tightens. I stare at them with wide eyes. "You called me here because you want me to spy on my..." I bit my lip. I don't want to say boyfriend with these leeches. "On Prince Mark?"

"And if you can include Prince Scott and his family, that would be awesome, too." Ann smiles, but I can tell it's a forced smile. It looks too fake. 

"This is the team you want me to lead?"

Mrs. Smith shifts in his seat. "I wouldn't call it a team, per se. It would be you and Tim, one of our best cameraman."

I lean back on my seat. "You're kidding right? I mean, this is definitely some kind of joke because what you're proposing has no ethics at all."

My editor clears his throat and Anne narrows her eyes. "This is the real world, Kate. You'd be actually doing something fresh and interesting that could reach thousands of people." She crosses her arms, challenging me with her look. 

"I've always been friends with Emily, why now?"

Anne laughs bitterly. "And that has kept you your job, dear."

I feel as if my stomach drops to the ground. "What?" I turn to Mr. Smith. He doesn't look ashamed. At all. 

"We're proposing you a juicy deal, Kate. Take it or leave it."

I can't believe it. 

All this time, all the effort I put on my articles, and it all comes down to this. 

My sight blurs with unshed tears. Not because I'm sad, but because I'm so incredibly angry right now. I stand up. "Well, if you're so desperate as to ask me to do something like this, I have a pretty good idea on how the newspaper is doing. And I'm not selling myself for this. Not in a million years."

Anne rolls her eyes. "This is life, Kate. That's just the way it is."

I shake my head. "Good luck with that Jupiter. Go fuck yourself, I'm pretty sure you're a pro at that."

I know I'm being unprofessional, but damn, they just asked me to spy on my boyfriend and my best friend. That's super low, even for them. 

Without waiting for an answer, I storm out of the office. I take the elevator, walk to my desk and grab my personal stuff before getting outside of the building. As I cross the exit doors, I take a deep intake of breath since I hadn't realized that I was sort of hyperventilating already.

I just quit my job.

Holy crap.

I just quit. 

What on earth am I going to do now?  

I'm so sorry. I don't know why writing has been a total struggle for me lately :( but thank you to those who've been around :)

Also, I've been asked to participate in the Grand Opening of AmbassadorsMY, and I'm giving away a few books, check it out: https://www.wattpad.com/story/128677216-grand-opening-ceremony

and thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.