Song Above: Don't Call Me Up Mabel

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After our eventful dinner, Rose and I had decided it was best to leave. I had text Ryan to tell him to call me later and I didn't even bother to try and say goodbye to Brody.

Rose tried to call him but it went straight to voicemail.

Mrs. Jackson was nowhere in sight, after the amount of wine she had consumed at dinner and abuse that Brody had thrown her way I assumed she was having a much needed early night.

I understood that he felt as if his privacy had been invaded and he was angry, but he didn't need to react as if we'd shot his Gran. It was more for mere fun than for us to be seriously considering that he was cheating. Well for me it wasn't, I couldn't speak for Rose.

I didn't know what was going on in their relationship, after all, it was their relationship but I somehow always managed to get involved despite my best efforts not to.

I was like a moth to the light whenever drama occurred. I couldn't stay away. I couldn't say away from him.

The only good thing about that dinner was one, the steak and two, it made me realize I had a lucky escape with Brody.  He was hot-tempered, dramatic and downright sociopathic. He was like a maze with no exit, there would never be an end with him. I could keep searching until my face turned blue and my eyes fell out. There was no point in searching for someone who didn't want to be found.

I made the right decision with Ryan.

I reached my house and opened the front door, turning all the lights on in the hallway and hanging my coat. My mom wasn't home still, which I was glad. One look at my thunderous face and she'd ask me a million questions. Our argument last night was still raw and after this terrible evening, I couldn't quite face her. I just wanted to get in bed and sleep all my feelings away.

I let out a sigh and rubbed at my cheeks. I passed a mirror on the way to the stairs and I purposely didn't look at my face afraid of what I might see. If I looked as tired as I felt it wouldn't be a pretty sight.

When I reached my bedroom I threw myself onto my bed, sighing in satisfaction at the feeling of being at home in your bed, where it was safe and warm. No harm could come my way when I was beneath my sheets nestled into the blankets that felt soft against my skin, nothing at all could cause me stress, or anxiety or unhappi-

"Yellow model chick, yellow bottle sipping, yellow Lamborghini"

The loud blaring sound of my phone's ringtone brought me out of my thoughts and I let out a groan. I rolled over and grabbed my phone from the bedside table, squinting at the screen.

Ryan.

Of course it would him. It was my own fault, I did tell him to call and Ryan is a man to keep his word. I let it ring for a couple of seconds, I couldn't sound desperate and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ivy it's me, Ryan,"

Yes, Ryan, I know that it's you, I have your number saved.

"Oh Ryan, hey, you okay?"

"Yeah I'm good thanks," I heard his sheets ruffle as he moved, he must be in bed, "How are you? I'm sorry about earlier,"

"Don't be," He had nothing to be sorry about, he can't help it that his stepbrother is an asshole.

"I know," he mumbled, "It's just I didn't really get to see you tonight alone and then dinner was cut short,"

I mean we came to spy on Brody but he didn't need to know that bit.

"I'll see you tomorrow though," I smiled despite the fact he couldn't see me.

"Did you really come over to see me?" He questioned, almost as if he didn't believe it. Well I mean it wasn't true.

"Of course I did," My voice cracked and I cursed internally. I needed to get better at lying.

"You're so cute, maybe sometime after school you could come over... Brody's at practice most of the time so he won't be there to annoy us, Paul and my mom won't be there either,"

"That's sounds great," I faked enthusiasm.

The idea of going to his alone reminded me of those sleazy movies where the guy invites the girl to "study" when in fact there would be no studying in sight.

"I can't believe Brody's behaviour tonight,"

The change of subject and tone gave me whiplash. I stared at my phone before replying.

"Yeah it was strange..." I trailed.

His behaviour was weirder than usual but he was already pissed off because of me and Rose, his stepmom was just the tipping point.

"He's always like this," I heard him move and then the sound of a door closing, "I think his dad is loosing his patience with him,"

"Really?" That was surprising.

"Yeah, he hates my mom. I mean I get why he wouldn't be happy with his dad remarrying but he doesn't need to take it out on my mom," I could sense an edge of protectiveness in Ryan's voice when he spoke of his mom.

"I mean Brody is Brody, he's always a pain in the ass but I don't think he means it or wants to genuinely hurt anyone," And I seemed to posses the same level of protectiveness in my voice when I spoke of Brody.

I had no idea why.

He let out a sign, "It's not okay though, Brody shouldn't have behaved in that way, especially since we had guests, he embarrassed me, he can be such an idiot sometimes,"

It was the first time I'd heard him bad mouth him and I don't know why but I didn't like it. I felt like I had to defend him. There must have been a plausible reason as to why he disliked Mrs. Jackson so much. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for him to see another woman on his Dad's arm when it was still warm from his mother's touch.

"Maybe he was on his man period or something," I suggested trying to lighten the mood and deter the conversation.

Ryan let out a laugh, "Or yeah, it could be that," he laughed again, "I don't think I've ever met someone as crazy as you,"

"I'm one of a kind darling," I said putting on my best English accent.

"You really are,"

I paused at his change in tone, there was an edge to it I couldn't decipher.  I could hear his breathing through the phone.

"You okay Vader? Did you run up the stairs or something? I can hear you breathing really loud," I felt like this conversation mostly consisted of me trying to deter it away from any topic that made me feel awkward.

"No," He chuckled, "I just think I'm tired, it's been a long day,"

"Me too," I agreed, adjusting my body so I was further in my duvet.

"I don't want to end this call but I know I might fall asleep in a second,"

"Go to sleep sleepyhead," I felt like I should have agreed with him, that I didn't want this call to end as most girlfriends would do, but I didn't want to lie to him.

"I'll see you tomorrow," He breathed and I could imagine he had his eyes closed and was already drifting off to the land of sleep.

"Night Ryan," I said and I hung up.

I placed my phone on my bedside table, switched my lamp off and curled up into a ball on my side, closing my eyes and letting myself drift off. I was two seconds away from losing consciousness when-

"Yellow model chick, yellow bottle sipping, yellow Lamborghini"

I let out a groan, switching my lamp back on and looking down at the name flashing on my screen.

Batan.

I cocked a brow, rereading the name a few times in case I had read it wrong and I then lifted my phone up to my ear. I hesitated before answering. This could be a trap.

"Uh, hello?"

"Ivy," He breathed so softly it gave me goosebumps. He sounded as if he had been asleep.

"Brody? What do you want?" I didn't mean to sound so abrupt but I was so close to being done with the day and being able to start fresh tomorrow but the world had other plans for me.

"I just want to talk,"

To talk? He wanted to talk?

"About what?" I said dubiously, my paranoia convinced myself that I was on a loudspeaker and his whole family could hear me and were waiting for me to spill my secrets. He would get me to admit that I'd slept with him behind everyone's back and then everyone would gather around and throw stones at me until I died a horrible and gruesome death.

God, I needed to stop watching too much tv.

"Sometimes I can't sleep at night, I just needed someone to talk me to sleep," He admitted and I could sense caution in his tone.

It was as if he was telling me something I wasn't really supposed to know. A secret. The fact I was shocked was an understatement. I wanted to know more, I wanted to know everything that was in his mind but then it dawned on me, I shouldn't know or even want to know. Rose should know. Rose his actual girlfriend who was probably at home right now worried sick that he'd never forgiven her for the spying incident. She's probably checking her phone every five seconds in the hope he'd call her, but he wouldn't because he was calling me instead.

"Can't you call Rose?"

The phone went silent on the other end and I thought he'd hung up. I waited a couple of seconds my thumb hovering over the end call button but then he spoke.

"I'm talking to you, not Rose,"

I didn't like the way my stomach felt when he said that.

"Okay, well if you won't call Rose, what do you want to talk about?"

"The sky,"

"The sky?"

"Yes, the sky,"

"What about it?" I said impatiently, I wasn't in the mood for games.

"I always think the sky is so beautiful, sometimes when I'm down I look at it, because even though on the ground it can be such an ugly, horrific place, at least the sky will never stop being beautiful,"

I felt my breath catch in my throat. I'd never heard him speak like this, so gentle and kind.

"Don't you think it just makes you think there's some hope out there? Of a better place? Because it can't surely be this," He went on and I just listened, "Sometimes I feel as if my heads going to explode from all the thoughts in my head, I'm never good at channeling them out, when I sleep I keep seeing my mom, she's trying to tell me something but she's always too far away and her voice is never loud enough for me to hear,"

I heard his voice choke at the end and I wished I could take away his pain. I didn't understand why he was confiding in me, nor did I care. If he wanted to talk till the sun came up and the birds began to sing I would.

He'd spoken to me about his mom before, at the lake but he never went into this much detail. I felt sad and honored at the same time.

"I hope that if I keep searching in the sky, I'd find her, I'd find a sign that she was there watching me, and she'd be able to tell me what it is that she needs to say,"

He sucked in a deep breath, "I just want to see her again, it doesn't have to belong, it can be only a second," I knew exactly how he felt, "Is that too much to ask?" I knew that question wasn't aimed at me. Who it was aimed at, that I didn't know.

"Am I really asking for too much?" He croaked, his voice sounded so small and so much younger than his age. He sounded like a little boy looking for his mom in a shopping mall. Except this shopping mall was endless and he'd be searching forever.

"No you're not, but I'm sure your moms looking over you, proud of what you've become,"

It went quiet. I went to speak, to ask him a question but he interjected.

"I shouldn't be saying this anyway," His voice went back to its normal cold tone and I wished I could have gone back a couple of seconds  to savor how it sounded to hear the real Brody.

"It's fine you can talk-"

"Look I have to go," And he hung up without even a goodbye.

I stared at my phone at the place where his icon used to be and slowly shook my head. I put my phone on my bedside table, turned off my lamp and instead of sleeping I stared at the shadow on the ceiling trying to figure out what had just happened.