Lia stands a few feet away from me, our bare feet buried in the sand as we stand in the middle of the desert. We're facing each other. She's gorgeous, glowing. I stretch my hand out to touch her but I can't reach her. She's out of reach.

She's standing right in front of me in all of her beauty, the wind blowing her soft hair, her smile directed towards me. That smile. That beautiful smile. The smile she reserves for me. I crave her touch, my desire for her brings a burning sensation to my chest so bad that it aches. Why can't I touch her? I want to touch her. I want to hold her. I want to be with her.

It's the same dream I see every night. I can't seem to understand what it means. What is this message? What is Lia trying to tell me?

This time though, her hands move to her abdomen. She cradles her stomach as if it carries something precious, delicate. That's when I see it. The glowing. It comes from her belly and suddenly I can sense the life that grows within it.

My eyes shot open.

She's pregnant? She's pregnant. She's pregnant...

Oh my god, she's pregnant.

There were no words to describe the pain that hit me. A sharp stabbing sensation touched me in the centre of my body, I felt my muscles weakening. The image of Lia carrying the child of that Harkonnen made me shiver in disgust. I imagined Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen touching her intimately just as I had. Did he force her? Or did she accept him willingly? The thought brought on a rage I never knew I was capable of. The urge to hurt a man I didn't know was overwhelming. My nails dug into my palms as I held two tights fists.

I felt the betrayal brewing inside me. How could she? She already tore me apart when she left, but how could she touch a man in the same way she touched me? Was I that replaceable? Disposable? I had only just felt what it was like to love her when she left me for another man. Now she was pregnant with his child, too?

I hadn't realized how laboured my breathing had become until my mother sat up from her sleep beside me. She rubbed the sleep from her eye to look at me.

"Paul?" She asked in a hushed whisper. "What is it?"

I shook my head, closing my eyes as I attempted to channel the peace and calm my Bene Gesserit mother had helped me master. "Just a dream." I told her as I allowed the calm to wash over me.

A wave of relaxation reached my chest and spread through my body. I imagined it spreading from my centre to the edges of my limbs, taming a the fire that had just been ignited. I replayed this sensation over and over in my mind, hoping I'd feel the familiar sense of tranquility I knew was possible, but I didn't. My anger and pain couldn't be numbed.

Lia. Pregnant. Pain. Jealousy.

She chose him over me. She chose the Harkonnen over me.

The hardest part was that I couldn't tell her not to. There was no pleasure or gratification in an unrequited love. I couldn't force her to love me or to pick me, but god I wish she had.

I had never doubted my visions, and as much as I wanted to doubt this one I already knew the certainty of it. There was no doubt in my mind that Lia was pregnant, but every part of me wished she wasn't. Not with another man.

The feelings I had been ruminating over my childhood friend finally resurfaced. I had already made sense of my admiration and endearment for her, but this information made those feelings much too hard to bear. I couldn't handle it. Knowing she was sharing such an intimate part of herself with someone else broke something else inside me when I thought she had already broken it all.

I wanted to hate her. I wished I hated her. But sadly I knew I didn't, I never could. Not Lia. Not ever.

Despite it all, I missed her. Instinctively I reached down to my bracelet, the only thing reminding me she was still alive and out there somewhere. I wondered where she was. What she was doing? Was she still with that Harkonnen even after he had destroyed our home? She wouldn't, I told myself. She was loyal, Lia would never forgive someone for hurting her family. Not unless he fed her lies, convinced her we were evil. The thought worried me. I prayed that wouldn't be the case.

I made an attempt at sleep but it never came. That morning I knew my mother sensed I had been awake, but thankfully she didn't bring attention to it. I didn't want to talk about what I saw last night in my dream.

"Eat it, Paul Muad'Dib."

I looked up to see a familiar pair of blue eyes handing me a spice-soaked leaf mixed with other lentils and nuts. I had been sitting against one of the rocks alongside the other members of the sietch. I looked around to see I was the only one not eating my breakfast. From across our circle my mother gave me a disproving look, suggesting I take the offering.

"Thank you, Chani." I muttered and accepted the food. She took the spot beside me, allowing her back to slide against the rock wall.

When I had first encountered Chani, I was caught completely off guard. It was the day I decided to take Lia to the desert, only for us to be cornered her friends. I remember I was too captured by Chani to process the threat her friends posed to us.

When I met Chani for the second time, I began to doubt my reality. She was the face that I saw every night in my dreams, I wasn't sure whether I was awake or asleep. The memory of those dreams brought back feelings of fear and loneliness. Those visions were the only thing I had ever kept from Lia, I was much too scared and embarrassed to admit my dreams of another woman. I saw no point in admitting them to her when I had yet to know what it meant.

To face the person who was at the centre of my dreams was both mystifying and terrifying, I didn't even know she was a real person. Despite that, Chani proved to be a good friend, though I had yet to understand what my dreams meant and why she was always in them.

Chani was the closest to my age of all the Fremen in our group. For that reason it felt much easier to connect with her than any of the others. In a way, being around Chani made it easier to forget about Lia. Chani felt like the only friend I had out here in the desert, she made the long days just a bit better.

"Did you already eat?" I asked her.

"Yeah," She nodded. "Are you not hungry?"

I looked down at my meal. "Not really." I admitted to her. "But I know I should eat it."

"You'll have no energy later if you don't," She told me in a warning tone. "You need as much energy as you can for the day to conserve as much water possible."

I nodded in understanding before I bit into the leaf. The taste was nothing unlike cinnamon, and it's smell and texture was a sense I had gotten used to during my time on Arrakis. I was able to eat the rest of it quickly.

"Alright," Stilgar said as he stood up having already finished his meal. "We've got to get going if we want to make it there by the end of the day."

As I stood up from my seat, my hand hit something around my waistband and I was reminded of the Water Rings retrieved from Jamis' Deathstill. The thought of his death, his blood on my hands, it brought a sick sensation to my stomach. I was tempted to rip them from my pocket and throw them away but I knew what a waste that would be, how careless and disrespectful of an act it would be to both Jamis and the Fremen to toss the water rings.

I pulled them hastily from my pocket, not wanting to look at them. I turned to Chani and offered the contents in my palm.

"Do you mind carrying these for me?"I asked her, a bit more gently than I was feeling internally.

She nodded, but when I placed the water rings in her palm her eyes widened in surprise. I could see that the the rest of the group had turned their attention to the two of us, as if I had done something odd.

Chani's eyes went to Stilgar, who looked at her almost humorously as he tried to resist a smile. "Take them, Chani. The boy has yet to learn our ways."

Chani took the water rings and tucked them underneath her waistband, keeping her eyes on the ground as if she were embarrassed. I heard a few members of the sietch chuckle, even exchange looks of knowing, . It felt as though there was some joke I was not aware of, and I was at the centre of it.

Suddenly recalled a memory from my lessons. The Fremen used their water rings as a sign of social intimacy. Often, a man would gift them to a woman as a sign of engagement and marriage.

My cheeks flushed realizing I had unknowingly presented Chani with a sign of betrothal. Chani seemed to be embarrassed as well. Her tanned cheeks were flushed and she was avoiding my gaze.

"Come on," My mother placed her hand on my back, pushing me in the direction of the group. "Let's get going."

The two of us followed the group of Fremen as they took off into the desert. Navigating the desert became much easier than it was at first. I understood what precautions to take when walking, or the protocol for dealing with the possibility of a sand worm. Much of it felt like the theory I had been raised with, except now I was finally putting these survival instincts to the test.

My thoughts wandered to Lia again. Could it be true? Could she be pregnant? It was possible I had misinterpreted my dream. After all, dreams are nothing but dreams. As much as I tried to convince myself Lia wasn't pregnant, I knew deep down she was. My dreams had begun to show impeccable accuracy that it would be unwise to doubt my visions.

It hurt, though. It hurt to imagine her sharing a piece of herself with someone else. Someone who wasn't me...

The thought was embarrassing to admit. I cringed whenever my mind imagined myself with Lia, the two of us together. I felt weak to want such a thing. I felt embarrassed admitting that Paul Atreides' weakness was a girl. 

But she wasn't just a girl, she was Lia. She was my Lia. Despite my love for her, I was overwhelmed with anger. She had proved to me how little I meant to her by not only leaving when I begged her not to, but actively sought to replace me. Was I just a convenience to her? I was a boy who desperately wanted her, so she let me? I was her plaything, whether she knew it or not. 

Still, I wished I could find her. Right now I'd run off and search the entire desert for her, but I knew I couldn't do that. My duties trumped my personal desires, and I knew right now I had to find my father's men and let them know I was alive. My mother stressed the importance of finding our allies even though I already knew it myself.

We were on our way to a sietch nearby that Stilgar said might be carrying some of the soldiers who had escaped. My lack of experience in the desert meant Stilgar was the one to call the shots, and all I could do was follow behind him. 

"Paul?"

I looked over to see Chani's bright blue eyes staring back at me. The two of us had fallen to the back of the group.

"Yes?" I stared back at her. The sun hit the side of her face that complimented her profile. Her hair was pulled back, but small strands blew in the wind. She had a gentle complexion, almost unnaturally smooth skin. I realized she was actually quite beautiful, especially in the daytime.

"Where did you learn to fight?" She asked me with curious eyes. "In the way you fought against Jamis?"

My thoughts went to Gurney Halleck and a sense of mourning passed over me. There was a strong chance Gurney was dead, just like every other person I knew in the palace. I thought of Lia. Did she wonder if her father was dead or alive? Did she need someone to comfort her while she mourned?

"His name is Gurney Halleck. He's a warmaster." I answered Chani, keeping me eyes on the desert ahead of us. "A very skilled one at that."

"Tell me about him." She said.

I thought about Gurney. Where could I start? He taught me everything I knew.

"He's strong, incredibly loyal to my father." I told her, smiling at my next thought. "He also loves to sing."

"Really?" She raised her brows, clearly surprised. "Can you sing me one of his songs?"

"Sing?" I repeated. She nodded. "I don't sing..."

"Everyone sings." She answered plainly.

I wasn't a singer, but I did appreciate Gurney's singing. I thought to one of my favourites of his, it was a lullaby.

I cleared my throat. "This clear time of seem ambers-

A gold-bright suns lost in the first dusk.
What frenzy senses, desp'rate musk
Our consort of rememb'ring.
Night's pearl-censored requi-em...
'tis for us!
What joys run, then-
Bright in your eyes-
What flower-spangled amores
Pull at our hearts...what flower-spangled amores
Fill our desires."

I didn't so much as sing it but rather speak it as a poem. That didn't matter though, because Chani seemed more than pleased.

"Wow," She said with wide eyes. "That was beautiful."

I nodded shyly. I could tell the rest of the group had heard me even if they didn't react. "Gurney is very talented with the baliset."

I could feel my mother's eyes burning into the back of my head. I knew what she was wondering, why was I singing a love song to this girl? I wondered that myself.

"We're almost there." Stilgar yelled from the front of the group loud enough for everyone to hear. 

"Do you know where we're going?" I asked Chani.

She shook her head. "I don't think I've ever visited this sietch. If I have, I was likely very young. I don't recognize this area." 

I looked around. We were surrounded by large walls of rock that acted like a maze. I followed behind the rest of the Fremen who were much smoother in moving across the ground.

We entered an opening in the rock. The light began to disappear as we entered, I felt my mother reach my side again. I sensed her nerves and doubt as she wondered if we had been trapped. I reached for her arm and squeezed in reassurance. I had no doubt in Stilgar, and I believed he was taking us to find my father's soldiers.

I could see light at the end of the tunnel. As we approached the opening, I looked forward to see an open space ahead revealing a large underground cave system. The sight was beautiful, I hadn't seen sietch such as this before.

The Fremen spoke amongst one another and moved about as you would expect. I'm not sure what I expected to see, but they didn't act out of the ordinary. Many of them were seated together while they socialized. Some of them were in the middle of eating, others sat alone.

"This is Shipo," Stilgar's voice brought my eyes back to him and I could see the older lady at his side. "She's the Naib of this sietch. She will tell us what she knows."

The Fremen of our group turned to look at me, as if waiting for me to speak first to this woman.

"Shipo," I nodded at her. "Thank you kindly for your information."

"Of course, young boy. We had a few men come to us seeking refuge," The old woman spoke to me. "We allowed them to stay, but that was days ago. It is possible they are still here but it is likely they have left by now in an attempt to find the late Duke themselves."

Damn those men, I thought. I hoped they would still be here, but I knew their loyalty to my father would drive them away. They wouldn't rest until they found closure or direction.

"But I believe there may be two young girls you'd be interested in," She spoke again, this time with a different tone. A tone I couldn't identify. "They came to us for refuge, as well. I believe they're still here, right over there."

I followed her gaze to someone a few feet away. My eyes landed on a young girl. Her head hung low and I struggled to see her clearly, but I could tell she clearly wasn't a Fremen.

But when she looked up I got a better view of her face and my breath caught in my throat. Her hair was longer, if not a bit lighter from the sun. Her skin was far more tan, but I assumed my own skin would be even darker. She wore neutral tones and a Fremen ensemble that didn't look to suit her, but she looked beautiful anyway. She always did. She smiled and I could tell she was laughing at something being said to her. My chest turned seeing her happy again. 

She turned her head and caught my eye. She was frozen in place just as I had been. I could feel the other Fremen staring at me, wondering why I was unresponsive. We stared at each other for a few slow seconds passed before I found my voice.

"Lia?"

***

yay! finally reunited, hopefully it was worth the wait!

i hope you guys enjoyed this change in pov! sorry i didn't identify it or anything, i felt it was more fun to start reading and realize what was happening. i apologize if it confused anyone!

i took a lot of inspiration from the book for this chapter with the singing and the type of food they ate. if you're thinking it was an odd thing to add in, i agree lol, i was just adding in a scene from the original book! let me know your thoughts anyway!

also i might not post for a weekish or so because i have some important exams coming up in the next few days. thank you guys for your patience! i love each and every one of you

with love,
via <3