Stilgar was impressed that we were able to make it to the next sietch well before sunrise. The Fremen moved fast through the desert, but I surprised myself by keeping up with them.

The most recent sietch welcomed us and allowed Stilgar and his men to search for Atreides soldiers. Luckily they were able to find 4 men who had escaped the attack in Arrakeen and found refuge here.

I had fiddled with my bracelet, touching the white rock on and off throughout our travels. I hoped that maybe Paul would see how much I thought of him and perhaps would be reminded of how much he missed me only just a few days ago. It was sad to think of how fast things could change in the matter of days.

Stilgar encouraged us to rest again before we took off for the next sietch. I wasn't ready to go to bed yet though so I wandered the unfamiliar location alongside Yuma.

My eyes found Paul across the room and I watched him as he smiled at Chani. The two of them were sat across from each other as they ate their food, just as they usually did. I felt a sense of longing, a dread that made me want to run and hide. Why couldn't him and I talk like we used to? Why was he so against fixing things?

I could hear Yuma speaking to me, but her words were going over my head. The only thing I was focused on was Paul. How was he feeling? Was he thinking of me? Was he still grieving the Duke?

I watched him stand up from his spot and make his way in the direction opposite of us. My heart began to pick up and before I could stop myself I spoke.

"Paul." I called to him.

He stopped walking and paused, straightening his posture with his back still to me.

"Can you talk to me," I asked, the defeat evident in my voice. "Please."

His shoulders moved as he sighed, turning around to face me, his eyes empty. "We've already talked, Ophelia."

"I don't just want to talk, I want to fix things." I played with my wrist, feeling my lip tremble. "You're angry, and I'll never be able to fully understand how betrayed you felt when I left you, but I'm asking you what you need from me, or what I can do for you to make things better."

He stared at me. "What makes you think I want to fix things?"

"Well, you're my best friend..." I trailed off, frowning. "Nothing could change that."

"You don't get it," He shook his head sadly at me. "You weren't just my best friend, you were everything to me and I wanted you to see me that way, too." He stared at the ground. "But you made your choice when you left, and you didn't choose me. There's no coming back from that."

"You know why I left. It had nothing to do with leaving you, and everything to do with protecting you. My leaving was me choosing you, not Feyd-Rautha."

He narrowed his eyes at me and I could see him clench his jaw. "Lia, you're pregnant."

I felt the heat rush to my face and I looked around to make sure there was no one nearby to hear him. "Yes I'm pregnant." I scowled, feeling hurt. As if being pregnant was a reason to reject me. "I can't believe you, how dare you use that against me! I'm lonely and scared and have absolutely no idea what is happening to my body. Of all people I'd expect you to be here for me." I hesitated before adding. "And you were my everything, Paul. You were more to me than a friend. I wanted more with you. I still do. I want to be with you."

Paul looked away. "Well, maybe I don't want to be with you. Maybe I found someone better."

My heart sunk and his words hit me like a punch to the chest. Obviously I knew he was referring to Chani, who else would it be? I had suspected that he grew closer to her while I was away, but never would I imagine those words coming from his mouth.

"You were better off on Giedi Prime." He added. "That Harkonnen would have cared for you. God knows at least you're wanted there."

"Really?" Was all I asked.

He stared down at me, almost in pity. "We never should have kissed. I realize now we weren't meant to be anything more than friends."

This time it wasn't him who walked away, it was me. I couldn't listen to him another second without wanting to hurt him, cry, and vomit simultaneously. I couldn't be here anymore. His betrayal felt worse than I could ever imagine. I needed Paul, not just for me but for the... for the baby, his baby, that I carried inside myself at this very moment. The whole reason I stayed was for Paul, to stay close to him. To fix things. He made it clear though that he didn't want that anymore. He didn't just reject me, he rejected the life my body was nursing.

It was my turn to feel betrayed. I felt hurt and disposed of in a time of need... I needed him! I needed his help, I had no idea what was happening to my body, I was alone... I was scared.

I held my hands in tight fists, ignoring the staring eyes as I marched away from Paul who retreated back to Chani. I had to go, I couldn't say here anymore. I made my way to leave the sietch but Yuma caught me, holding me back by my arm.

"Ophelia," She stared me down. "Don't do something you'll regret. You don't want to leave right now."

"Yes I do." I huffed and pulled at my arm but she didn't let go.

"No you don't." Yuma frowned, looking at me with pity. I hated it. "You think you want to leave but you don't. Where will you go once you leave? Do you even know how where we are? What happens when you're all alone in the desert with no one else to help you?"

I glared at her but stopped fighting her grasp. The two of us stared at each other for a moment before Yuma released my arm. I stayed in place, unmoving.

"Go for a walk," She suggested. "Or eat something, or sleep, I don't care. Please, just stay close by."

As much as I wanted to fight her and run away, I found myself nodding. Yuma was right, I had nowhere to go. I wasn't alone in this sietch either, I had her and Lady Jessica. Maybe even Chani, as ironic as it felt.

My head felt empty as my legs found their way outside into the open air. My adrenaline had left just as fast as it came and I no longer had the energy to run away even if I wanted to. Instead, I took a seat on one of the rocks facing the horizon. From there I could see the sun rising as it inched itself into the sky.

I willed myself to empty my head and imagined the familiar sense of calm fill my body. My focus went to my breathing, and I pushed all heavy thoughts out of mind.

My ears perked at the sound of footsteps behind me. Before I could react in defence, Chani spoke.

"It's just me." She said.

I didn't answer. Of all people, Chani wasn't exactly the person I'd want to speak with at the moment. I think she took my silence as an invitation to join me as she sat down at my side.

She didn't say anything. I didn't want her to. There was no doubt she had witnessed the conversation between Paul and I. The embarrassment flooded my cheeks a second time.

"Why are you here?" I asked her, but not in an accusing tone. I was genuinely curious to know why she would follow me alone.

"I came to see if you were okay." She told me as if it were obvious. She looked at me for a moment before speaking again. "Are you?"

"Okay?" I repeated and laughed dryly. "I don't know if I'll be okay for awhile."

Chani was quiet. I watched her from the corners of my eye, trying to analyze her behaviour. Truly, for what reason did she care whether I was alright or not?

"I admire your strength." She told me quietly. She was sitting so close that our shoulders were touching, though I did not feel the urge to move. "Paul spoke of you so often that I felt as though I knew you before we even met." A smile reached her lips. "He described your courage in his stories, but it's even more impressive to see it now."

I raised my eyebrows. Paul talked that much about me? And Chani thought I was brave? "I've never been anything special," I admitted with a laugh, my eyes staring at my feet. "Compared to Paul I'm nothing, he grew up being better than me at everything."

She shook her head. "No, that is exactly why I admire you. Living in someone else's shadow is not easy," she frowned. "But still, I see just how skilled you really are."

Could that be true? I would like to think I'm as skilled as she suggests. To be fair, my father was none other than the infamous Warmaster Gurney Halleck. That must have meant something in my upbringing.

Chani looked over at me and I realized just how close our faces were. I was caught off guard once again by her bright blue eyes. I realized they were staring down towards my lips and before I could register what was happening, I felt out mouths press together.

Her lips were soft, welcoming. She tasted of salt and spice, an unlikely pleasant combination. It only lasted for a second though. I quickly pulled away and stared at her with wide eyes. What just happened?

The blood rushed to her face and her she quickly looked away in embarrassment. "Oh, I'm sorry. I think I misread the situation, I thought maybe-"

"That's okay." I squeaked in a tight voice, unsure of what to say. My eyes moved around my surroundings, unable to stay still. "You're- that's totally okay. No problem at all."

"I should- I'll just..." Chani stuttered, looking back in the direction from where we came. "Well, join me inside soon. Okay?"

I nodded at her and she stood up hurriedly, leaving me alone. I sat for a few more minutes with my thoughts and considered everything that just happened. Of all the things I would have expected to happen, kissing Chani was definitely not one of them. What did that even mean? Chani kissed me? Did that mean... Did I have a better chance with Chani than Paul?

I let out a laugh at that thought. I felt more confident than before, though. This gave me a strange sense of clarity. I knew where Paul stood to Chani, so it gave me hope that I still had the chance to fix things. I wasn't going to give up on him. I was going to make him understand.

I moved to join the rest of the sietch, but was jumped at the feeling of a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head expecting to see someone I knew but was shocked to see an unfamiliar Fremen face staring back at me.

"Can I help you?" I asked, attempting to yank my arm from his hold.

He didn't answer and instead brought his other arm up around my shoulders to pin me to his body. My eyes widened as I realized what he was doing and I reacted quickly by slipping down and twisting myself from his grasp.

I lifted my knee but the man promptly dodged it. This caused me to lose my balance and he managed to grab both of my wrists again.

He made another attempt to pin them to my back, but I slipped easily from his hold. I raised my arm take a hit at him, but the Fremen was faster. The last thing I saw was his fist coming towards me before everything disappeared.

***

hello my lovely readers! in case you haven't seen just yet, i just uploaded a new story called 'Paired to the Prince' which i plan to make a dystopian-scifi-romance type fanfiction with timothée chalamet. i've already uploaded the prologue but i'm hoping to post the first chapter tonight or tomorrow. here's the blurb;

"In a world where family and companionship are the ultimate goal, citizens are paired with their life partner right as they enter adulthood. A perfect solution to attain the perfect life.

But Isla's pairing day doesn't go as planned. She was expecting to be paired with a normal job, in a normal neighbourhood, with a normal partner. Her world is turned upside down when she discovers she has been paired with none other than the prince himself."

if this sounds like something that would interest you, please give it a look and maybe save it to your library so you can stay updated with new chapters! it is a fanfiction, but the plot is also ambiguous enough that you can read the story as a standalone without any knowledge of who timmy is. i have big plans for that book once i finish this one!

anyway, as always let me know your thoughts on this chapter! what was all that stuff about between lia and chani? who is the fremen man that attacked her?

with love,
via <3