My time spent with Chani was much more pleasant than I had imagined. I had expected her to be either cold or talk only of Paul, but to my surprise she did neither. Instead, she showed a lot of interested in getting to know me. I'm not sure why, but it was actually quite relieving to talk to someone new for once.

I gave her a brief rundown on the whole Feyd-Rautha situation and why I left. I expected some kind of judgement from her and, to be fair, I knew I would judge myself if I were in her place. Instead she seemed to be more understanding than anything which was a nice surprise. It felt good to talk about my problems without judgement.

Chani also revelead to me how the Duke Leto was killed during the Harkonnen invasion. This made my blood boil and I felt more anger towards Feyd than every before. How could he let this happen? And Paul, poor Paul... I wanted so badly to comfort but I knew he wouldn't let me. The most I could do was let time heal things.

Chani taught me how to weave, a skill not very big back on Caladan so I was unfamiliar with the practice. Weaving was tricky at first, but I quickly got the hang of it under Chani's guidance. I decided that I would enjoy weaving as a hobby if it weren't for the splinters that got stuck in your fingers.  

The evening came around much faster than I realized, and it was time for me to say goodbye to Shipo. Yuma amd I thanked her for her hospitality and kindness, hoping we might cross paths again eventually.

"We will meet again." Shipo told me as she left me to wonder. She was mysterious like that.

I nodded, going along with her. "Well, I can never thank you enough for taking us in."

"We owe you our safety," Yuma added. "Take care of yourself."

I joined the rest of Stilgar's group and was ready to get going when I spotted Zeina's small figure come running out of the shadows.

"Ophelia, wait!" She called to me.

I turned to face the teenager as she came to a stop in front of me. She held something out to me in her hands.

"This is for you," She told me as she tried to catch her breath.

I looked down and my eyes traced the outline of the leather sheath, along with its black handle with deep finger ridges separated from the blade by a slim round ring.

I narrowed my eyes at the object in her hands. "Is that..."

"A crysknife." She finished for me, pushing it into my hands. "Take it. It's yours now."

I made a face and shook my head, refusing her offer. "A crysknife? Zeina, I can't-"

"Yes you can," She grinned. "Take it. You'll need it."

She pressed it into my hands again and took a step back before I could protest again.

"Good luck," She nodded at me. "I hope to one day fight with you."

She took off again in the direction she had just came. I looked over to Yuma who smiled.

"A crysknife belongs to someone who is one with the desert," she told me. "Not everyone could survive the desert, but you did. You've earned it."

I stared at the knife in my hands. It was beautiful, but I felt like an imposter with it in my possession. Nonetheless, I tucked it in my waistband where it knew it would be safe. 

Saying goodbye was much harder than I expected. I hadn't been there long, but as soon as we left I realized I had grown attached to the sietch that took me in. It would always have a special place in my heart and I hoped to find my way back someday.

Our adventure continued and we had nothing but the night sky to keep us company during our long journey ahead. Stilgar said if everything went as planned we would reach the next sietch before sunrise. This meant no breaks or stops, just a one-way trip.

Yuma and I trailed behind Lady Jessica. I feared what the other Fremen felt about us joining them, so staying close to Lady Jessica felt like the smartest option. Currently, we all followed behind Stilgar through the desert in pairs. I eyed the other Fremen carefully in fear for my safety, but they seemed to have gotten used to our presence.

I snuck a look over my shoulder to see Paul and Chani walking alongside each other. The two of them spoke quietly together, stealing looks with one another ever now and then. The sight pulled at something in my chest and brought a weak sensation to my legs. I looked away, not wanting to think of Paul.

But I couldn't not think of Paul. My best friend would be there for me no matter what, our loyalty to each other was unmatched. Clearly not though, I thought. This Paul was not as faithful as I once thought. Where was the wonderful and outgoing friend I last saw in Arrakeen? This boy was not him, this boy was not Paul.

"Do you mind if I walk with you?" 

I jumped at Chani's voice interrupting my thoughts. My eyes widened as I realized she had found her way to my side without making a noise.

"Sorry," She frowned. "I didn't mean to scare you."

I shook my head and smiled at my own restlessness. "Don't worry, I wasn't paying attention."

She smiled at me and once again I questioned her odd behaviour. Why was this girl I didn't know suddenly so interested in me? What did I have to give her?

I could give her Paul, I thought bitterly but quickly scolded myself for making such assumptions. Perhaps she genuinely wanted to be my friend, it wasn't fair for me to suspect she is motivated by Paul.

I looked back subtly to see Paul almost sulking as we continued on our path. His face was hard and he glared at the ground. He looked up and for a second I met his harsh gaze but quickly turned my attention back to Chani.

"I think Paul's a bit jealous." I tried to joke.

Thankfully she smiled at this and looked back. She shook her head and chuckled. "Don't worry about him. Your Paul is not feeling his best at the moment. I think his mind is busy with..."

My Paul. Those words gave me a few butterflies and I couldn't help but tingle at the thought. But I considered her words again, and wondered what would be occupying Paul's mind.

 "With what?" I asked her. Her expression dropped slightly and I had a feeling she may have shared something she wasn't meant to. 

"I think you two need to talk." She looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "Paul hasn't said it but I know he needs it. I can see that you do, too."

I didn't say anything. How much did she know? He wouldn't tell her everything, would he? I used to be the only person he told everything to. Was it possible that Chani had taken that place instead?

Chani looked back at Paul before nodding at to go to him. I didn't want to speak with him but her gaze felt strong as she kept her eyes on me. Against my better instincts, I let myself fall back to Paul's side.

He looked up, surprised to see me. Before he had the chance to snap at me I said, "Can we talk? Please?"

He narrowed his eyes at me and looked me up and down, but didn't stop me. I took this as a sign to keep going.

"I can tell you're angry at me, that much is evident. I'm just trying to understand why." Paul opened his mouth to speak but I held up a hand to stop him. "I know I hurt you by leaving, but I'm trying to understand why you're mad-"

"I'm not- I'm not mad," He sighed, interrupting me. "Well actually- okay yeah, I guess I am mad. But I'm not just mad, I'm... I'm hurt Lia. So hurt by you."

I frowned, reminding myself of how he begged me to stay. I knew my leaving took a toll on him and it hurt me to know I was the reason why he was in pain.

"So this is all because I left?" I asked him and frowned. "That was a hard choice to make and I'm sorry it meant I had to leave you, Paul. If that's what this is about then I'd really like for us to talk-"

"I know that you're pregnant." He interrupted again quietly so that no one else could hear, staring hard at the ground.

My breath caught in my throat it felt as though I had swallowed my tongue. He knew, I was right. Paul knew. How was this possible? My hands went to my stomach.

"How did you..." I whispered. I could feel my heart racing, not ready for this conversation just yet.

He huffed and met my eyes. "Why does it matter how I know? Were you planning to keep it a secret forever? Or would I have to figure it out by myself like I already have?"

I felt my stomach sinking. No, I couldn't do this now. I wasn't ready to talk about this with him. I had only just come to term with this myself.

I felt my eyes watering as his anger began to overwhelm me. I expected some sort of reaction from him, but this level of anger felt extreme. How was I even supposed to tell him I was pregnant? I had no way of communicating with him, plus I'd want to tell him something this important in person. Part of me felt robbed knowing he found out before I could tell him myself.

"Paul I'm sorry-" 

"Save it," He shook his head and looked at me in a way I've never seen before. He looked at me with such shame, as if all of this was my fault. I felt disgusting. 

My eyes fell to the ground and he pushed passed me to join Chani up ahead. I wanted to scream, I wanted to grab his shoulders and shake some sense into him. I didn't have the energy, though. So instead I followed behind him and let the guilt take over.

***

ok so i haven't written anything yet because i want to know your thoughts but here's what i'm thinking for a timmy fic... in a universe where finding your one true pairing is the ultimate goal, some system or high power determines who you're meant to be matched with (soulmate in other words) and my oc would get paired with timmy who wasn't meant to be paired with anyone because he would also happen to be the prince of this kingdom/realm or whatever. basically, they get matched together when they aren't supposed to be, plus he's a prince :p lol

im taking inspiration from like those soulmate au stuff haha and a comment by @yachietoleza about timmy being a prince. haven't figured out the fine details but pls let me know what you guys think and if you'd read it!!

anyway, what do we think about this chapter? who is being the most difficult right now, paul or lia? also, how are we feeling about chani? is she being genuine or fake to lia?

with love,
via <3