We weaved our way through the tall and colourful rock to no destination in particular. Paul insisted on taking the lead so I let him and followed his path. We took our time as we walked slowly, admiring the beauty of nature's creation.

"I never knew rocks could look like this." I said, referencing the several shades of orange and brown that surrounded us. I looked upwards towards the sky, amazed at how the foundation caved inwards and towered over us.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" He smiled at me. "I knew you'd love it."

I smiled back at him, my heart feeling warm. I couldn't explain it but there was something about being with Paul, experiencing all of these beautiful things and going on all of these amazing adventures with my best friend... It was a kind of fulfillment I never knew I could feel.

We moved forward and I found myself staring at the back fo his head, almost wishing I could see straight through his head of hair so that I could see his beautiful face. Everything about him was beyond compare, I could find no flaws in someone so perfect.

He was the first to break the silence. "I missed you yesterday." He said from ahead, not turning around to face me.

His comment made me blush. I knew that I missed him, but for him to admit he missed me? That made my insides feel all sorts of funny.

"Really?" I asked shyly. "I wasn't sure if you did."

He looked back and sent me a look that was both playful and confused. "Why wouldn't I miss you?"

We reached a clearing that spanned out to the sides. It gave us a nice opening to walk through. Paul took a side along one of the sides of the clearing and motioned for me to take the seat beside him.

I sat down beside him. "Um, I guess I just didn't know what you think about the other night..."

I looked away, embarrassed to have said that out loud. I cursed myself silently. Why would you bring that up? Do you want to hurt your own feelings?

"What do I think about the other night?" He repeated as if it were obvious. "Lia," He breathed. "I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about you."

Those words rang through my ears. Couldn't stop thinking about me? What did he mean?

I looked over and met his eyes. "We never really talked about it afterwards... I guess I just assumed you regretted it-"

He looked up and let out a small laugh. "That night with you, I..." He looked at me again, his eyes softening. "I would trade the world to experience that again."

This wasn't the answer I was expecting to hear, but boy did it make me feel good. I couldn't resist the urge to smile.

Paul scooted closer to me, our shoulders touching. "Every day, all day, all I think about is when I'll get to see you next." He leaned over and told me in a whisper.

His forehead was pressing against mine. "I really want to kiss you right now." He said again, this time eyeing my lips. 

He didn't need to tell me twice. I leaned in and pressed our lips together. Our mouths began moving in sync, it made my legs feel like jello. He deepened our kiss, cupping my cheeks with both of us his hands. I pushed my mouth harder against his as if I could be closer to him than I already was. His passion, his touch, it all made me want him even more.

But my bliss was interrupted by my guilty conscious. He doesn't know, I told myself. I couldn't play with him as if he were a toy. He deserved to know. 

"Paul," I managed through kisses. He didn't acknowledge me, but continued to kiss around my jaw and neck.

"Paul!" I snapped and he pulled away, his confusion clear.

"What's wrong?" He asked, slightly panicked. "I'm sorry, Lia, did I read your signs wrong?"

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. Noticing my pain, Paul quickly to wrap his arms around me but I quickly shrugged him off.

"Lia," He made a face, obviously hurt that I rejected his touch. 

I want you to touch me! I wanted to scream at him. I want you so bad!

"I'm leaving." I blurted out. "I'm leaving for Giedi Prime. Tomorrow."

Paul stared at me, obviously confused. "Okay..."

I met his eyes and pursed my lips. "I'm not coming back."

He blinked a few times as he tried to process what I was saying before shaking his head no. "What do you mean you're not coming back? Why would you stay there?"

I looked away and gripped my forearms. "I'm getting married."

Paul paused. "Married? You're getting married? Lia, what are you talking about-"

"To Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen." I finished quickly, staring at my feet. "I think that... I think it might be able to stop a war-"

"What?" 

That was all he had to say for me to know that I hurt him. I knew he had begun to process what I was saying.

Paul stood up abruptly and stared down at me. "You're going to get married? To that Harkonnen?" He repeated.

I nodded, my eyes beginning to cloud. "I am."

Paul looked away. He clenched his hand into a fist and shook it before he made small paces in front of me. "You're not... You can't..."

He came to a stop and I watched his chest rise as he inhaled. I sniffled, wiping my tears.

He looked back down at me with a face I didn't recognize. He looked angry, disgusted.

"When was this decided?" He whispered.

I swallowed. "Yesterday."

"Yesterday." He repeated. "So the morning after you had sex with me you decided you wanted to marry someone else."

I didn't answer. When he put it like that, God it sounded so bad. Why did I do that? How could I hurt him like this, I asked myself.

He shook his head. "You were afraid that I regretted it." He laughed. "Meanwhile I was so sure you felt exactly what I felt. I had no doubt..." He shook his head again. "But you didn't. How could you have ever felt the way I feel about you, Lia?"

"Of course I feel the same way." My voice cracked.

"Clearly not!" He yelled. I flinched at his voice.

He brought his hands to hair before letting out a scream of frustration. I brought my hand up to my mouth to cover a sob.

"Stay." He looked down at me. His eyes were glassy. "Please, just stay."

I wanted to, but I knew it wouldn't solve anything. "I can't." I cried. "They want a war-"

His expression shifted and he held a hand up to silence me which I immediately did. He looked up and his eyes swept our surroundings. We weren't alone, I could feel it too.

Get up, he signed to me. I picked myself from the floor and put myself in a ready stance, pushing aside my thoughts.

Two heads popped up a few meters away from us. The first thing I noticed was their blue eyes. Fremen. I gulped.

Paul moved himself so that he was positioned between me and the Fremen. 

"We want your water." One of them spoke. "Hand it to us and we will spare you both."

"We have no water." Paul said through gridded teeth. "Leave us."

"We don't believe you." The other spoke. The two Fremen took a few steps closer to us. 

My body tensed as I felt the presence of someone behind me. I quickly spun around to see another pair of blue eyes, but this time they belonged to a girl.

"They're telling the truth." She spoke. "I can see it from here. They have nothing."

I brought myself into an active stance again, but from my side I realized Paul did the opposite. He stood up straighter as if he had forgotten where we were and who we faced.

"Shouldn't we just kill them anyway?" One of the men asked. "Take what they have."

I sucked in a breath. The girl looked at me, then turned to Paul before looking him up and down. I clenched my teeth.

"They're not worth our resources. We'll find someone else." She said, her eyes lingering on Paul.

I turned my head to see he returned her gaze, staring back at her intently. My stomach turned.

"Fine." One of them spat. "But next time, we won't ask."

Slowly the Fremen stepped back and left us in the clearing. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

Paul seemed quite familiar with the desert on our way back. He stormed ahead, I tried to keep up with him almost tripping on my feet several times. He made no attempt to slow down or stop.

We made it back to our ornithopter in half the time it took us to get to the other side of the rock. Paul jumped into the pilot's seat with ease. I quickly got in after him, almost afraid he might take off with out me.

The trip back flew by. Literally. Paul was clutching the controls as if his life depended on it, and we flew through the air so fast I could feel the inertia holding me back in my seat. I was tempted to ask him to slow down, but I didn't want to be the thing that made him break.

We landed back in the warehouse. Paul immediately unbuckled the seatbelt and opened the door to exit. I could feel the tears pooling at the corner of my eyes and I searched my mind for something to make him stay. He had already stepped out and began to walk away before I shouted after him.

"Paul, please! Wait!" I called, quickly unbuckling my belt and following after him.

To my surprise Paul stopped in place. He had his back to me, but I could tell from his clenched fists and upright back that he was tense and angry.

I reached him and stopped a few feet away. "Please..." I tried to speak with a clear voice but I couldn't hold back my emotion anymore. "Paul, I care about you so much, please know that. I'm doing this for you, for your family, for my family-"

He let out a humourless laugh and turned to face me, his eyes narrow and eyebrows pressed together as he stared me down. I had seen his anger very rarely, but never has it ever been directed towards me. His face made me want to crawl inside a shell and hide.

"You've convinced yourself this is the only way to help." He said through clenched teeth. "But

His voice broke and his eyes moved to the floor in front of him.

Seeing him in pain like this made me want to run forward and hold him. I want him to hold me. God, I wanted to just touch him. But I know that wouldn't be fair, I knew it would be unwanted.

"I never wanted to hurt you." I whispered, a silent tear slipping down my cheek.

He looked up and met my eye for a second. I could see the tears behind them, ready to fall. "It would have hurt less if you shot me. I really wish you did that instead."

Before I could answer he stormed away. I felt another tear slip down my face. I thought about going after him. I didn't.

***

hey loves im back! it was nice to have that break yesterday tbh. i finished my midterm and  feel pretty good about it! now i dont have anything until finals so i'm just chilling. thank you all for your patience!

once again reminder about the book cover comp!! i'd love if i could get at least 5 people to send in their covers within the next week or so and then we can have a vote. send me a message to get the email to send your cover to!!

as always lmk what you think! sorry for any typos, i always get so sleepy writing these lol

with love,
via <3