I remember the wind blowing my hair into my face and the sand scratching my eyes so I couldn't see anything. I could feel my body, weightless in the air, screams that made my head shake but I couldn't even hear myself. I was expecting the descent, waiting for the moment I reached my peak and my stomach would drop as I began to dart back toward the ground, but that moment never came. Instead, I remember my body being grabbed while I was blind and afraid mid-air, my vision going in and out.

I saw people. Weird-looking people. Harkonnens. I could hear the plane. I could feel the gag in my mouth. Flashes of movement and being moved.

I was in a room with people. My vision was less blurry, my thoughts were becoming clearer.

My daze was shaken by the sound of a booming voice. The Baron.

"I don't care what condition she is kept in." He spoke. "She must only remain alive."

He needed my life? What could he possibly need from my small and uninteresting life?

"So I can't keep her?" Said a familiar, teasing voice. The hairs on my arm stuck up.

"No, child." The Baron scolded.

I could hear the small huff and shuffle of Feyd-Rautha as he repositioned himself, displeased by his answer.

"She is nothing but a tool for us to reach the Atriedes boy. He is only powerful because my people are cowards who fear his abilities. To gain power over him, we must make him afraid."

I blinked my eyes open in the face of white light. I turned my head to see Feyd staring at me, his face curious.

"So we just wait for Paul Atriedes to find us," Feyd said, eyeing me.

"Why didn't you just take him?" I croaked through the gag, not even sure if I was audible. I hadn't realized how dry my throat was.

My eyes moved across the room to meet the Baron's. He was staring down at me as I struggled to breathe again.

"We need a war." He stated simply. "We need to make a statement. Killing him at once would be far too easy and your people are still full in numbers."

You know he is too powerful, I wanted to say but held my tongue. They would have no chance against Paul, they would be dumb to think they did.

A small whimper from across the room caused me to whip my head toward the source.

"Alia!" I panicked at the sight. "What are you doing here? Are you alright?"

"She came along for the ride," Feyd laughed, "She was far easier to capture than you."

"They want me to help them," she told me quietly from where she was sat, "tell them things. I know not to, though."

The poor little girl. "It's alright, I'm here. Don't say a single thing to them."

She nodded, already knowing. Alia, too? They knew they couldn't take Paul on his own, so clearly they were trying to get all the leverage they could. Alia may have powers but she is still just a child, barely two years old. Any and all of her abilities have been instinctive, she doesn't know how to control them. 

I wondered what was with the Harkonnens and kidnapping. I mean, this was getting a bit ridiculous, no? They seemed to love taking me away.

I knew Paul was searching for us, I had no doubt. I'm sure he already knew where we were, too, which is all I was counting on. What were they going to do to us? Just wait? I wasn't particularly threatened at the moment.

"So are we just meant to wait here until Paul Atriedes arrives?" I asked the Baron.

"If we must." He answered in a bored tone. His eyes skimmed the line of Harkonnen guards to our side. "Though my men are free to do as they wish with you in the meantime."

My eyes widened and I followed his gaze toward his men who were busy eyeing me, their pale skin and sunken eyes making my skin crawl as they smirked in my direction.

"That wouldn't be very nice, no? I don't think Paul would like anyone to hurt me." I kept my voice flat. 

"No one is going to play with her." I could hear the eyeroll in Feyd-Rautha's voice. Somehow I knew if he was here then no one would hurt me or Alia and that was enough to ease my nerves.

I thought of Paul. Surely he was on his way, right? He must have some idea of where we are. Paul always found me. Always.

Staring at the Baron, I felt afraid. But my fear was masked by an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling of emptiness that came over me, starting in my chest and spreading throughout. It was unsettling. It was.... odd.

I was unsettled. This was not a normal feeling or instinct but something was telling me there was something wrong. Something had happened. Something bad.

From the corner of my eye, I watched Alia's shoulders drop and she released an audible sigh.

The Baron's eyes snapped to Alia.

"What is it, girl?" He questioned her, noticing the shift in her body language.

Alia's eyes fell to the floor, in what might have been sadness. "The child is gone. Baby Leto is dead."

"The child." The Baron repeated, his eyes narrow.

"Dead," I repeated, my eyes stuck on Alia.

Everything was silent.

Everything was blank.

I want to say the pain travelled slowly, moving across me with time. That's not what I felt, though. It was like I had been shot, except I was shot in every part of my body, every limb.

This wasn't right. I wasn't hearing her right. She was a child, she was speaking nonsense. How could Alia know? She is not there, she is here. Just as me. My child is under the protection of our sietch, guarded by both Fremen fighters and underground tunnels. How could Alia know?

But Alia knows, and I know that Alia knows. I can't deny the sinking feeling of knowing I felt just as she did. It was real, as real as it could be even if I didn't want it to be.

"The child is dead." The Baron repeated this time as if he were satisfied. "How so?"

Please no, I wanted to say. I can't bear to hear it.

"House of Corrino Invasion." She whispered.

I wanted to laugh. It wasn't even the Harkonnens. He wasn't even killed by what we had been preparing and protecting ourselves from. Something unexpected. Something completely out of my control.

A sob finally came from me but it was muffled by the gag. How cruel it was to not even let a mother grieve the death of her child properly. Instead, I had to sit here in pain and fear as I imagined where my baby was, where Paul was.

"Get rid of the woman." The Baron waved in my direction.

"I'll take her." Feyd moved quickly, taking me by the arm before the guards could reach me.

In another world maybe I would have protested this, but I couldn't. I didn't have the energy. So instead I let Feyd take me on his own and lead me to the hallway, leaving Alia inside to face the Baron alone.

He grasped my arm firmly enough to guide me but not hard enough to do any harm. We exited the room and he pulled me aside as we rounded the corner.

"Ophelia I am so sorry," he held me by my two shoulders, his eyes soft, "I see how much that news hurt you."

To my surprise, in what might have been a mistake, Feyd slid the gag down my chin so that I could speak.

"Don't you dare tell me you feel sorry," I spat in a rage, "you feel nothing for my child, and you feel nothing but lust for me."

He inhaled and lifted his chin, not saying anything as he gave me a look of apology.

I believed he was sorry. I believe that in Feyd-Rautha's weird and twisted mind, he felt some sort of remorse for me as someone he believed he was in love with. I didn't need his sorry, though. His remorse wasn't the kind that I needed.

Without hesitation I spoke with power. "Leave me. Go free Alia from the Baron."

Feyd's eyes went white and he moved obligingly. For how long it would last, I wasn't sure, but it was enough time to help myself.

I considered going back for Alia but it would do nothing but ruin things for us both. Alia was a powerful girl, more powerful than me. I hoped that maybe Feyd would buy her a moment long enough to get out of there before I came back with help.

My connection with the Bene Gesserit had grown weaker over time. It wasn't something I often thought of or practiced since Paul had taken on the weight of that burden. But I knew, deep inside, I still possessed that ability. Clearly the Harkonnens thought so, too, because they thought it was fitting to gag me.

Despite the Voice being untouched by me for ages, it took a moment of absolute desperation to use it instinctively. I wondered if this was a sign, that this power would help me.

I ran down the hall with purpose, but suddenly I couldn't remember what that purpose was. To get out of here? To find Paul? My purpose was my son, but all I could think of was how he wasn't here anymore. He was dead. I couldn't be there to protect him in his final moments. Was he scared? Did it hurt? I was meant to protect him. That was my purpose. But now I had none.

***

hi lovelies <3 once again zero excuse for no updates im just busy with life but i'm hoping i will finish the story before the second movies comes out. preferably work on it and finish it by the end of summer.

im struggling with the plot up until this point because i dont know how i want to go about the war but we will see... any thoughts?

also.... i am sorry about baby leto :( that part is true to the books and i wanted to keep it. you'll see how it goes from here

with love,
via <3