(lmao heart attack came on when I started writing this hm)

A knock sounded throughout Louis's small flat and without realizing it, he was up and moving towards the front door. Who the hell was at his flat this early in the morning? Wait, what time was it anyways? With a sigh he reached into his trainers pocket and pulled out his phone to see that it was only 6:53 a.m, which was much too early for the man's liking. Harry, Harry's an early riser maybe it's him! (FUCK IF I COULD FLY CAME ON OK JUST KILL ME THEN) A small wave of  hope washed over Louis as he stopped in his tracks before realizing that no, it couldn't be him. After how Louis had acted towards him- walking into his flat drunk, telling him how good he looked and crying into his shoulder just to tell him that he was a pathetic fuck and walk out. How could he be so mean to him? Harry had always adored him and inside Louis had always loved him too, but there was always a feeling that he wasn't good enough. So he never even tried to catch his attention, but the thing was he didn't have to try. Harry followed him like a lost puppy and all he ever seemed to do was hurt the man. 

The door opening snapped Louis out of his thoughts and sent him into a rush of panic, only before he saw that it was his younger sister Lottie. What, why the hell was she here? Lottie looked slightly flustered with a tinge of anger in her eyes, which definitely worried the brunette. The woman was one of the sweetest and happiest people anyone would ever meet- she always could brighten someone's day no matter how bad it had been going prior to her being there. There had only been one time when Lottie had been mad and that was a long time ago, during a much darker time of the Tomlinson's family's life. If Lottie was mad, something must really be going on. But what could she be mad about, she hadn't seen Lou in months and they barely even talked. Oh, maybe that's what she was mad about. 

"Uh hey Lots, is everything okay?" His voice was shaky, definitely, and as he ran a hand through his tangled and disgusting hair he realized that he was genuinely concerned about whatever was going on. At least I'm still halfway emotional. She threw her phone and keys down onto the couch before turning to the man, her eyes burning with rage. "No it's not! I'm mad at you Louis, and that's definitely not okay!" 

What a shock, someone else who's upset with him. But, what had he done to her? Maybe it was something else, but what? There was nothing he could think of except-Harry. Harry and Lottie had been practically best friends since he started primary school and he babysat her as a child. She would tell him everything and him to her, but did  they still talk that often? She was one of the few people who knew how H felt about Louis, so they probably did still talk quite a bit. He plopped down onto the small desk chair he had in the corner of the room that sat in front of an unused glass desk and looked at her, his bloodshot eyes showing nothing but fear. While Lottie was quite an angel, if she was angry you definitely had a problem on your hands. "W-well, what's wrong then?"

"What's fucking wrong is that you keep destroying Harry's heart." Her words shot through Lou's soul like a silver bullet, poisoning his bloodstream. Images of Harry's gorgeous smile, those soft dimples and stunning evergreen eyes flashed across Louis's mind as he looked up at her, a lump forming in his throat. He always tried to act like he hated the boy, and for what? Deep down he knew that he too had feelings for Harry, so then why was he always such an ass to him? All he ever tried to do was make the man happy. "Do you not realize how much he loves you? Adores you? That angel would give up everything for you if you asked, and yet all you ever do is toy with him! I love you Louis, you know that, but how the hell do you sleep with yourself at night knowing how terrible you've acted towards him?" 

He couldn't begin to form words, couldn't form an argument against her, because she was right about it all. He wanted to make Harry see how lovely he was, how much he loved him, but something inside him told him not to. He had no one else to blame but himself. "Lottie I know you're right, I just don't know what to do. He deserves so much better than me, deserves someone who can get their shit together enough to tell him that they love him. I can barely look at myself in the mirror anymore." He pushed past her into his small kitchen to pull a beer out of his fridge, but before he could open it his baby sister was pulling it out of his hand and throwing it across the room. It hit the wall next to his desk and shattered, liquid and glass exploding in different directions. He stared at as she took the entirety of his alcohol from his kitchen, put it into a bag, and threw it over her shoulder. "This is what you do, stop the alcohol and the smoking, stop the bullshit, and get your priorities straight. You're a man, a damn man and you're still acting like a child. I'm taking your ID as well so you can't buy any more booze, have fun sobering up." 

Before he could call her back inside to talk she was grabbing her phone and rushing out of his flat, throwing the bag of booze into the back of her car and driving off. He watched her car disappear down the road before he turned away from the window, screaming as loud as he could into the emptiness. Screams erupted from his throat for a solid half hour before he stopped, his lungs burning, crying out for air. If only he could turn back time and go back to his teenage years and start a solid relationship with Harry, get his act together, he wouldn't be stuck in the gutter he was in now. The only thing he knew now was how to party until all hours of the morning, passing out in the street only to have police pick him up and carry him to his flat. His life was pitiful, it truly was. 

"Harry, Harry." Tears streamed down Louis's face as he looked out of his window, rain beginning to fall from the sky. His mind flashed back to a night when him and H had actually slept together, nothing sexual, just bonding. Harry had told him how much he loved the rain, how it always reminded him of Lou and the lingering feeling it left after it was gone just like the man's touch. The two had spent the night listening to soft indie music and cuddling, watching out of Harry's window as the rain tapped against the roof. It had been an amazing night, if only he could have another night like that. He could, if he only reached out. 

"Harry!" Without a second thought, Louis grabbed his keys and rushed out of his flat, no shoes or shirt, and ran into the pouring rain towards Harry's flat. The cold water burned his feet, the rain stung his skin, but at this point he didn't care. All he wanted at the moment was to see Harry, to feel his lips on his again, to see those beautiful eyes. He could only hope that those eyes would sparkle for him again, but who knew.