BEAU

By the time I get back to the motel, it's already getting dark. I pull into the lot and park, resting my head against the steering wheel and closing my eyes for a moment.

I don't know if Dr. Dex would call what I did processing my emotions in a healthy manner, but speeding down the freeway seemed better than drowning in whiskey.

As the trees blurred past me, the cars I was passing nothing but blips in my peripherals, it's like I could think clearly.

Clearly enough to see how all of this works out in my favor.

I came on this ridiculous trip to fantasy land, I figured Zoey out, her game. Whatever twisted dreams she had been hanging onto should be crushed now.

I can move on.

While it sucked to have the idea of my son being taken away from me, I never knew him anyways. There was never even a him to know.

In the end, it worked out better than if we'd seen the kid after all.

I just wish I hadn't put so much of my life, Emma in particular, on the line to see this idiotic thing out.

With a sigh, I get out of my car and quickly scan the lot for Zoey's minivan.

No where to be seen.

Thank fuck. She had the good sense to be gone by the time I got back. For the first time today, since she admitted the truth, my mood is a little bit brighter.

Whistling, I jog back to the reception desk.

Another thing I realized while driving: I forgot my phone on the desk in Zoey's room. After storming out and being too deliriously angry to face her without exploding, I couldn't bring myself to turn back.

"Excuse me?" I murmur, knocking my knuckles against the faux-wooden desk. "A girl checked out a while ago. Blonde. I left my phone in her room."

Without a word, the grouchy old man behind the counter slides my cell under the glass divider. He flips the page of his newspaper, not bothering to ask if there's anything I need.

"I'm checking out, too." I grunt, quickly unlocking my phone to dozens of texts and missed calls.

My mind races to Emma, the stalker. Fuck.

Not waiting for the man to tell me a total, I hand over cash and tell him I'll drop the room key off once I've grabbed my things. Again, he says nothing.

Storming into the lot and to my room, I scroll through my messages, playing my voicemails on speaker.

"Beau, it's Em. Just checking in. Hope things go well with Max. Call me later."

Ha. Next.

"It's me again. This is not at all how I wanted this to go, and I have no idea where the hell you are or why you won't answer your phone. Shit." A guttural groan. "I'm in labor, Beau, where are you?"

In labor?

No, no, no. It's early. At least by a few, maybe a couple of weeks.

Fuck, no.

I glare at the little cable box clock in my motel room, double checking the time of the call.

Fuck.

I frantically shove my things into my duffel bag, double checking for wallet, phone, and keys, and bust through the door.

Next.

Parker's voice now. "Dude, Emma's water broke. I don't know what that means but she's making me wait at the lake house. Get here now, man."

Click.

Again.

"Where are you, man? I called Nadine and Gemma. They're on their way."

Good.

Last one.

"Fuck, Beau. We tried to wait but... I think it's getting close. We're on our way to the hospital now, I'm texting the address to you. Whatever the fuck is going on, man, at least call me back."

Slamming the key on the reception desk, I leave without a word, every movement quick and purposeful. Adrenaline spiked, everything is crystal clear, like it was on the drive earlier.

I check my messages for Parker's text, I put it in my navigation system, and I drive.

I don't think about how fucking terrified I am that I missed it, that maybe Emma is in trouble, that the baby won't be okay.

I don't think about how I can't imagine being a father to anyone, considering I barely keep it together myself.

I don't think, I just drive.

About an hour into the drive, my cell rings. Answering it quickly, praying it's not Parker or Emma, telling me I've missed the most important goddamn thing of my life, my voice is hurried.

"Yeah?"

"Beau, it's Beck."

Oh. I glance at the clock, pressing my foot to the gas pedal. Scanning the area ahead for cops, I hit even faster than earlier, zooming through traffic and receiving a number of middle fingers.

They can all suck my dick. My kid's being born. And I might be fucking missing it.

All because of Zoey.

"What do you want?" I snap, even though it isn't his fault.

"Have you heard from Zoey?" Baby Jack screams bloody murder in the background. Beck sounds sheepish. "I, uh, I keep calling but she isn't picking up. I haven't heard from her all weekend and-"

"That's not possible." I shake my head. "She told me she checked in with you before we went to see Max." I glare at the cell phone. "Did you know about that little magic trick, by the way?"

"Max?" Beck mutters. "Beau, who the fuck is Max? Look if you're just going to lie for her-"

"Lie for her?" I check the time again. "Beck, I couldn't give less of a shit about your marital trouble right now. Because your fiancé pushed a trip out of state to see our supposed son, who newsflash, isn't even ours, I might miss my actual kid coming into this world. So spare me-"

Beck's voice is broken. "She was with you this weekend?"

I roll my eyes. "Look, I know we don't come from a family of geniuses, but Christ, are you this stupid? How many times do I have to tell you-"

"She told me she was going to her mother's."

His admission takes the words from my mouth. The sucker got played just like I did.

"Are you sleeping with her?" Beck asks. I almost laugh. "Be honest."

"Been there," I mutter, cursing internally as I hit a line of traffic. "Done that. Not doing it again, thanks. Look, man, she had a whole story about our kid. Long story short, we don't have one, she lied, she borderline stalked this random kids family. I don't know why she lied, like I said, I don't care, either. But that's the truth."

"Was that what she was doing every time she said she was going to her moms? Leaving Jack with me so she could play pretend with you?"

Feeling sort of bad, I let up a little. "I don't know, Beck. You're her fiancé. You know what's up with her better than I do."

"Okay, well... if you hear from her..."

"I'll text you." I swear, an eye roll along with it.

"Maybe she has been acting weird, since the baby came... I don't know. I thought she was just tired."

"I've got to go," I mutter, only about forty five minutes from the hospital now, and about thirty from town.

"Oh, Beau, one more thing," Beck catches me before I hit End. "Dad came by today."

"Okay...?"

"He was drunk." A pause. "And asking about you."

Involuntarily, my fists clench tighter around the wheel, my jaw locking in place. "What did you tell him?"

"Nothing." Beck says quickly. "But he said he'd find you himself."

"Thanks for the heads up."

I end the call, dangerously maneuvering through traffic as the signs indicate I'm getting closer and closer to town.

I had no intention of stopping, not when I'm likely already too late as it is. But as I drove past my apartment complex, I saw not one, but two, tall figures standing outside my door.

They're arguing, I can see even from here.

Pulling over abruptly, my tires screeching across the pavement, I jump from my car and slam the door.

"Parker, I thought you were at the hospital with Emma. What's going on?"

I ignore the sloppy drunk lumbering towards us.

"Nadine and Gemma drove her, told me to wait here in case you got here and didn't know." Parker narrows his eyes at me. "Which you obviously do, why are you here?"

I glare at my shit excuse of a father.

"Saw you guys out here." I turn my back towards the lousy specimen of a man and tell Parker firmly, "Get in the car, we're going. Now."

He does as he's told, stopping only when Jack addresses me, his words slurred and slow.

"Don't you turn your back on me, boy," He stumbles forward, reaching his hands out to grab my arm.

I push him away from me, turning my face, his stench hitting too close to home. "Fuck off."

"What's wrong, boy?" Spit spews from the corner of his mouth, landing on my face and fanning the flames at the back of my throat. "You smellin' something? Soemthin' strong?"

I ignore him, rolling my eyes as I get into the car. Jack lunges forward, his drunken weight pushing him forward so he stumbles into my body.

Using all my force, I grip the collar of his shirt and smash him into the hood of my car, pinning him to the warm metal. Knuckles pressing into his throat, I lean in as he sputters for air.

"Stay away from me and my family. Understand me? Come around me again and I'll make sure there's nothing fucking left of you."

His eyes roll to the side, his grin lopsided. "Give me some cash, we'll call us even."

"Even?" I growl, yanking him from the hood and throwing him to the pavement. He coughs loudly, the air forced from his lungs as he glares up at me. "Not even close."

With one, final kick to his ribs just for my satisfaction, I turn back to Parker, who's now waiting on my side of the vehicle.

Watching me closely, expression focused, he nods towards the ground. "Want me to fuck him up for you? You can go see Emma."

"He's not worth it," I gesture towards the car.

Cowardly as he ever was, Jack waits until my back is turned.

"Beau!" Parker shouts.

Catching sight of the bottle he's raising above his head to crack down on mine, I duck in time to miss Jack's swing.

At the same time, Parker springs forward, landing on top of Jack on the pavement. Catching Jack by surprise, Parker lands a few good shots, knocking the man unconscious before finally standing and wiping his knuckles across his jeans.

"Maybe you're some responsible adult now," Meeting my stare, he shrugs. "But I'm not."

***

Bright street lights illuminate the perfectly lined parking spaces outside of the hospital, the large, functional but ugly, building looming over my Mustang like the entrance to Hell.

In there, is Emma. Maybe my kid. It shouldn't be so fucking terrifying. But what if I missed it, what if something horrible happened?

How can I face the fact that I wasn't there for her?

I turn my ignition off, feeling Parker's intense stare on my face.

What if nothing bad happened, and everything went perfectly to plan?

Then... that makes me a dad.

Chills run up my spine.

I open my door, taking a tentative step out, my gaze never wavering from the huge, obnoxiously blue ENTRANCE sign ahead of me.

I close my door, my feet firmly rooted where I'm standing.

Parker's door opens, then closes. "Beau?"

How the fuck am I supposed to be a father? An authority figure? A nurturer?

"Beau, what's going on? Get in there." Parker's voice seems far away.

So does that goddamn entrance. So close but so far.

My lips move without my telling them to, admitting things I'd rather not.

"What if... what if I can't do it, what if they're better off without me?"

Jack, drunk, slobbering and hostile, haunts my every thought. What if I'm like him? I've clearly inherited his love for booze. Who's to say I won't inherit his fathering abilities, too?

"That guy was your dad, wasn't he?"

I look to Parker now, leaning against the hood of my car, looking as smug and punkish as the first day I met him. I don't know why now, I care what he has to say, or why his expression doesn't make me want to hit him anymore.

"Look man," His tone is as serious as I've ever heard it. "The only way you're going to end up like that guy is if you don't walk in there right now and be there when Emma brings your kid into the world."

He nods over his shoulder, encouraging me to go inside.

Like a coward, I can't. "What if I fuck up?"

"If you fuck up?" Parker laughs. "You're going to, man. So is Emma. It's not easy. The one thing you can thank that piece of shit for is showing you exactly what not to do. The rest is up to you, you'll figure it out."

I look from him to the hospital again, my heart pounding so fast it hurts.

He speaks again when I don't.

"You'll feel like a real loser if you miss this, Beau."

Thinking on his words, squashing every crap moment my father would consider parenting from my mind, I find the ability to move. Nodding my thanks at Parker, I practically run across the lot and through the revolving door.

"Where is she?" I blurt out as I approach the desk, a young woman with pink scrubs on staring at me like I'm a crazy person.

Maybe I am.

"My girlfriend." I finish my thought. "Emma Carter, she was in labor."

Taking what seems like an unnecessarily long time, the nurse pulls up information on the computer in front of her.

"Ah, yes. You're the father?" She smiles at me kindly, and I don't see any judgement, any sign of "oh God, who let this guy have a kid?" on her face.

"Yes." I reply confidently. "Yes, I'm the father."

AH my heart was beating so fast!
Did Beau make it in time????
can we take a moment of silence to appreciate Beau's therapist 🙏
love you guys!!