Pain that's it.
It changes who you are everything about you everything you thought you knew. Pain, it causes you to hurt others when something hurt you. Pain is what caused me to do what I've done. Pain has been effecting me for a long long time.
Since school started I've never really fit in, I've always been weird or different. As a kid I loved bugs. Yes 5 year old me loved bugs. But not just that. I loved animals too. I knew so much about bugs that my classmates would come to me if they needed help with a bug problem. I was bullied but 5 year old me didn't care, at least not until grade 4. 9 year old me changed. Started wearing jeans, changing herself stopped playing with bugs. As a kid I loved to draw sing write explore, I had an overactive imagination and an insatiable curiosity. The bullying got bad. I cried once a month at school then went back to my broken home where my mom yelled at me and sisters hated me, and a dumb little brother. The bullies only got worse. I started crying weekly in grade 5, grade 6 well let's just say that was daily. The bullies made fun of me, called me weak, ugly, fat, stupid, worthless, dumb... The sticks and stones will break my bones but their words have scarred my heart. Grade 7 I changed. I stopped crying in front of people and swore, by swore I mean cussing a lot. Everything  from shit to fuck and possibly more. Of course 13 year old me was tired of being hurt so she stopped letting people walk all over her. But the January of grade 8 changed my life forever... I met a boy that would hurt me more than anyone else could... Grade 8 I started to cut that January a few weeks before  that boy another one was there but he just stopped talking to me no explanation because I told him I cut he stopped talking to me. Two weeks later when I met Jamie he messaged me begging for me back.. I said no. That boys name was Nick. You already know the story with Jamie so I don't need to explain, but even after 9 months because he left me on March 24 I still hurt whenever his name is said, or I'm alone in the silence of my room.