The week passed and with nothing to do I spend my time studying every spell, history book and information I could find. I tried to understand my situation better, tried to find out more what transpired with Barty Crouch Jr, but nothing on either side. I didn't trust the news articles, especially when they wrote that he should be dead. There was so much that possibly was swept under the rug. The only thing I found interesting were the old yearbooks. He had looked so serious in every picture, not one happy foto where he celebrated his victories. And he seemed to have a lot to celebrate with all his accomplishments during his time at Hogwarts. It was sad that he had been corrupted and thrown his life away for a fanatical cause. He had been in my age...

I couldn't imagine what nearly 10 years in Askaban had done to him. It was barbaric. The wizarding world needed more forms of punishment, different departments and modernisation! They really should look up what the muggles did. The last decade had brought a lot of good changes to them.

When I looking at all of this became too much, I opted to write a letter to my dad. I just needed to hear that he was okay. It already was a miracle that I didn't get constant mail from mother, but looking back I had been the most desperate one to hold contact, to gain approval and clues what I could do to make her proud. She only watched my grades and the people I associated with. No one had ever been good enough and so I never had friends.

As if I had manifested it I found a letter from her when I got to the owlery to send my letter. Angry I took it, ripped it apart and threw it away. Not this time. This time she wouldn't ruin my life. I would make my own choices and I would protect my dad and save my life.

When the time of my extra lesson rolled around I nervously paced up and down in front of the door. Should I really do this? Wouldn't this literally be the thing my mother always wanted from me? What if I didn't chose wise but foolish? What if I became the very thing I never wanted to be?

The door opened abruptly with a loud bang and I startled to a halt. Professor Moody stood in the door arms crossed and annoyed. "Do you want the lessons or not? You've been pacing since over 5minutes and I have better stuff to do than entertaining you."

Shakingly I took a deep breath. He was right, I wanted this, so I had to push through it. Apologizing I entered the room and the hardwood door slammed shut behind me. Striding up to the board, the professor took a piece of chalk and waited for me to join him.

Keeping the desk between us, I finally found my inner peace with this situation. I had to do this.

I nearly did an double take when he rolles his eyes. His magic one making a weird sound while doing so. "I understand that it is a bit of a delicate topic but there is really nothing to be afraid of. You are the one in control. You decide which spell to use. So lets start slow and work our way up to the forbitten curses if youre up for them."

Huh... That sounded rational and surprisingly like good advice. If someone would have told me I would be comforted by the words of a death eater I would have laughed. Nodding I looked down at the books he had arranged on the desk and studied the topics. There were some extended ones that the school didn't use and some from the restricted section.

Intrigued I took the book about historical spell inventions and inventing your own spells. I might as well start with the basics. Seemingly contempt with my choice, fake Moody let the other books disappear. "Okay allright. That's a good topic to start. To use a spell properly you need to know its intentions and the easiest way is to learn its origins. I don't think we should dive into the topic of creating our own spells yet, but I will explain the basics."

After this the lesson went smoothly. Surprisingly Crouch Jr was a very good teacher. It crossed my mind again that he really threw his live away. If that didn't happen then maybe teaching would have been his calling. But these thoughts brought me just back to my future and the fact that I didn't know if I even would have one.