somehow i feel like in the end of this book there won't be a single character left y'all like-

***

10 years ago

"I don't know about you but I want to go to that couple dance with you-", Taehyung hummed, stuffing his mouth with meat. Jungkook let out sigh, eyes glancing around the cafeteria. "I want to go with you too, y'know", he said after a while, "But the others will talk again-"
"I know", Taehyung mumbled. 

"I can't wait for college, maybe everyone will be more chill about two bros going to couple dances together then", Jungkook chuckled quietly. "True, it's not like we would fuck afterwards-, r-right?", Taehyung asked, blushing a little while saying that.

"N-no", Jungkook stuttered. "I mean, we're straight, right?"
The older nodded, "Absolutely."

"Thing is, we should get dates anyway-, just for the show. We can hang out after the party or when everyone's drunk and not paying attention", Jungkook then suggested. "You could sleep over at my parent's house-"

"Yeah we can hang out afterwards, that's cool too", Taehyung agreed. "We can just leave after an hour and then party by ourselves", he grinned brightly. Jungkook's cheeks flushed red now as well.

Partying by themselves.

"Maybe we could just dance in my room then", Jungkook smiled fondly and Taehyung nodded, wrapping his arms around Jungkook's tiny waist. "Yeah, the slow dances are more fun when we're alone anyway", he hummed into the younger's ear, leaving him flustered once again.

"So, where do we get dates-, no one likes us."

Taehyung shrugged, "Don't know-, we could also just skip the dance completely and hang out alone, maybe get some pizza and netflix and-"

"If we both won't show up, the footballers will spread rumors again", Jungkook sighed. "I still got bruises from when they caught us swimming together."
"Well we shouldn't have went swimming naked-", Taehyung said in a small voice, "That's maybe a bit too much."

"But it's more fun when we hug and stuff", Jungkook grumbled. "They ruin all the fun."

"I know right. And I don't kow what's so incredibly gay about swimming naked with your best friend", Tae rolled his eyes. "It's not like we fucked in the water-"

"Nah, we just did brojobs-", Jungkook said quietly. "Which is absolutely fine, right? I mean we call it brojob-"
"Everyone does those things for their best friend", Taehyung stated and intertwined their hands. "I read in the internet that footballers shower together, naked. So we're fine, we shower together too, means we're like them and they're straight, so."

Jungkook nodded, "You're so right."
He laid his head down on the older's shoulders and opened his mouth, wanting to be fed by him which Taehyung did immediately. He grabbed a slice of an apple and gave it to him, "Damn you're so cute when you're being a babyboy-", he whispered, hugging him a little tighter to leave no space left.

"Don't call me babyboy, that's gay, bro."

"No it's not, it's only gay if I say it in bed." Taehyung rolled his eyes, then pressed a small kiss to Jungkook's cheek.

"What the fuck are you fags doing", a tall boy appeared behind them, laughing out loudly. Three girls standing besides him. One of them being Lyza. Jungkook knew her quite well, their parents were friends so he was basically forced to hang out with her all his life.
Lyza was nice and caring, she had always been one of his only friends outside of school. But when she was with her friends, the popular ones in highschool-, she wasn't the same.

"We're eating", Taehyung replied, immediately sliding away from Jungkook, letting go of him. Jungkook gulped dryly, eyeing the boy's fist which were already balled.

"I thought we were clear about where your spot is. It's over there, next to the rubbish."

Jungkook nodded and was about to get up, "S-sorry-", but Tae held him back. "Shut up, Lay, just fuck off. We literally didn't do anything but talk."

"Oh about what? How you took your girl's virginity?", the dude asked, pointing on Jungkook.  "I'm not a girl and I still have my virginity", Jungkook pouted while the girls just facepalmed themselves. "Aw, he's 15 and he's still a virgin-"

"Shouldn't all of you be?", Taehyung snapped. "Oh right, I forgot y'all are disgusting sluts."

"Babe stop-", Jungkook blurted out, covering his mouth after he accidentally called him Babe in front of others. "Damn", Lay growled out in laughter. "Babe, stop", he imitated Jungkook in a girl's voice. "So do we see y'all at the couple dance together?"

"Actually-", Lyza suddenly said, feeling sorry for Jungkook. "Actually I'm going to prom with Jungkook", she said. Jungkook's eyes widened, he didn't expect that at all.

"We're kinda a thing, y'know. So fuck off Lay and let him be. You call your friends Babe all the time too."
With that the girl threw her hair back and walked over to Jungkook, pressing a kiss to his cheek and whispered, "Just play along I'll cover for you two-."

Jungkook was a mess by now, staring into nothing and lowkey panicking because this was the first time a girl did something like kissing him. And then, it was one of the prettiest ones at their whole school.

Lay sighed, "Oh Lyza, honey. You're into fags?", he groaned. "Oh Lay, you're into being an asshole?", she snapped back and then pushed him away from them, walking back to their table. Leaving Jungkook and Taehyung by themselves.

"Oh holy shit", Taehyung blurted out. "That was a girl-"

"I know right", Kook let out breathlessly.  "Does that mean I have a girlfriend now?"

"No!!", Taehyung almost squeaked out. "You can't have a girlfriend-, I-I mean we agreed o-on being single until college is over, right? Then we move together a-and-"

Jungkook chuckled softly, "Is my Taehyungie jealous?"

"Yeah I mean I can be your boyfriend too. In a brotherly way of course but like we can date and kiss and stuff-, just as bros. Right? That's normal, isn't it?"
The younger nodded, "Yeah true. So when do you take me out for a date?"

"Tonight? We can go to another town and I'll take you to some fancy restaurant a-and-", Taehyung suddenly got nervous. "I mean we have to practice for the case if we get into a relationship with someone after college", Taehyung hummed.

"Someone?", Jungkook asked teasingly. "We could move away then a-and y'know-", he didn't dare to speak it out but Taehyung understood it. "Exactly. It's totally fine if we get into a relationship then with someone."

"Even if that someone is our best friend, no one will know us then, so-", Kook finished his sentence and Taehyung smiled happily. "We could also buy a dog and adopt a kid. I mean, with that someone then."

"Oh yes!!", Jungkook's eyes were beaming when he thought of a kid running around the house. "Can't wait", he sighed and Taehyung sighed too. "It's only around 5 years from now-" 

Kook grabbed his hand, "Come on, let's go outside", he said, pulling Tae up and outside with him. Taehyung got a little nervous because going outside meant hiding behind the trees in the area behind the school where no one sat usually and-

"I think we're alone now", Jungkook giggled, glancing around because no one was there. "Oh god-", Taehyung bit his lips awkwardly when he saw the sparkle in Jungkook's eyes. "My lips are a little dry-", Jungkook suddenly said. "Would you help me out?"
Taehyung's heart speeded up to an incredible fast pace that made him almost squeak out. He always got so excited over those things. Jungkook always came up with the lousiest excuses for what they were about to do.

"I can't let my bro's lips stay dry, hm", Taehyung whispered, put his hands on Jungkook's cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. Kook let out a small whimper as he slided onto Taehyung's lap, pressing their lips together while he moved a little on there. He knew Taehyung sometimes moaned when he did that, and the younger loved that sound. It may be his favorite of all time.

The older wrapped his arms around Jungkook, kissing him passionately while their bodies kept brushing against each other, hands roaming all over their bodies.

"Holy shit, you're so beautiful", Taehyung let out after he pulled back, eyeing Jungkook's plump lips and his eyes that sparkled full of lust and wishing for more.
"That's kinda gay to tell me I'm beautiful-", Kook chuckled but Taehyung only smacked his head lovingly, "And kissing you while feeling your ass on my dick isn't?", he teased back.

"Oh damn maybe it is", Jungkook giggled. "Sometimes I really wish we weren't straight", he added, stucking his tongue out. "We only have to be until college is over", Tae winked and then pulled Jungkook back in.

5 years.

Five years until they could do this kind of stuff all the time.
Five years that could change anything.

**

"Good morning", Jungkook smiled when Jimin and Taehyung entered the kitchen the next morning. Jungkook had already set up breakfast and made pancakes for everyone, trying to be a nice guest who didn't made any trouble.

"When are you leaving for the hospital?", Jimin asked coldly, ignoring what Jungkook made and simply grabbed an apple and a glass of milk.

"I-I thought maybe around 10 when Tae's ready-", Jungkook said in a small voice. "Yeah, no. Taehyung and I have to go grocery shopping, then we've got an appointment in the city. He's got no time."

"Oh", Jungkook nodded. "Then I'll go soon", he said and smiled sadly. "How about now?", Jimin snapped and took the pancakes, throwing them into the rubbish. Taejeon almost broke his fists because he balled them so fucking hard. "Taehyung for fuck's sake, say something", the kid yelled at Tae who just stood there, looking more drained out than ever while he watched Jimin being mean towards Jungkook.

"Jimin, was that really necessary?", he sighed.

"I don't want him to feel home", Jimin shrugged. "And he's not going to do anything in my kitchen for my husband."
With that he turned around and packed his bag, "Let's go, Babe."

Jungkook didn't say anything further, he just put the things back into the fridge quietly and then rushed back to the sofa to take his bag. "Kook-", Taehyung hummed after him. "No, it's fine. Go with Jimin", Kookie quickly said, gave Taehyung a smile and then took Taejeon by his hand.

"Do you want me to go with you?", he asked fondly.

"No, it's fine. I'm good on my own here", Jungkook lied, his eyes telling the truth pretty much obviously. Jungkook didn't want to go outside without anyone by his side. He was afraid of meeting people he knew, he was afraid of seeing old places and also his father who he didn't see in five years.
Jungkook really needed Taehyung by his side right now. But he didn't say it out loud.

"Alright then, text me when you're back, okay?", Tae asked him and Jungkook nodded. "Yeah. See ya."

Taejeon was still boiling in anger, but he kept his mouth shut and just walked out of the apartment along with his father. "Let's get a hotel, Dad. Or go to your father's house. Or to Mom, she's in Busan too. Let's not stay with them", he suggested as soon as they were outside.

"But there's Tae", Jungkook said in a small voice. "I want to be with him-"

"He's not fucking worth it", Taejeon whined out, "Jimin is a bitch, let's go somewhere else please."

"Stop cursing", Jungkook sighed. "When I was eleven, I never cursed."

"Dad that's not the point", Taejeon sighed.

"How about you just act your age for once and be a good boy?", Jungkook snapped. "I'm staying with Tae, they're gonna break up and then we can leave with him."

"Bullshit", Taejeon laughed out. "He's not gonna break up with Jimin. And he's not leaving with us, open your eyes. Taehyung moved on."

Jungkook shook his head, "No we promised each other forever, he'll keep our promise."
"He already broke the one that said he's never going to hurt you", Taejeon rolled his eyes but then kept quiet while they walked along the street.

"I'm gonna go to my Mom then", Taejeon shrugged. "I don't feel comfortable there and I don't want to be there. Can you take me to her later?"

"I don't really want to see your Mom", Jungkook let out weakly. "I'll ask Tae if he'll take you there."

"No", Taejeon said. "Taehyung is dead to me until he treats you right. You'll take me there, Mom isn't a monster", the kid said and Jungkook just nodded.

"Fine, whatever.."

*

"Is he awake?", the boy asked a couple of minutes later when they arrived at the hospital. "He is", the girl at the reception answered, giving Jungkook a small smile. "He's been waiting for you-"

Kook nodded, "Yeah, I know", he said, then rushed towards the elevator that would take them to the right floor. Taejeon was busy texting Lili even though she was asleep, ignoring his father completely.

Jungkook found the right room pretty quick, stopping in front of it. He knocked the door twice until a deep voice invited them in.
"Hello", his father hummed, not smiling at all when he saw Jungkook walking in.

The man's face was colorless, a blank expression. Every bone was visible, making his jawline and his cheekbones pretty sharp and obvious. He lost a lot of weight, his hair wasn't there anymore thanks to the chemotherapy he had.
"Hey", Jungkook said in a small voice, walking closer.

"Where have you been, Jungkook?", his father asked quietly. "It's been five damn years."

Kook looked away, trying to calm his breathing because just that one question already got him anxious. "I'm sorry, Dad", he said sadly. "I just, I j-just didn't want to come back here-"

"I asked you so many times to just come and see me, during college and even later. You never did", Mr Jeon let out, voice a little cracky while tears filled up the old man's eyes.

"It really did take me dying to get you here", he sighed to himself. "I pray to god Taejeon won't ever be like that when you're old."

Taejeon let out a sigh, "Grandpa calm down", he grumbled. "Can everybody just leave my Dad alone", he whined and hugged Jungkook from behind. The boy simply stood there, eyes glued to the floor, whispering one sorry after another.

"So, how's Chicago?", Mr Jeon asked, letting go of the topic. Jungkook shrugged, "I love it there, Taejeon likes it too. We have a pretty apartment and I've got a good job-"

"Great", Mr Jeon nodded. "I missed you here."

"You did?", Jungkook asked, eyes big and doey. "Taehyung gave me good company all those years though", the man said instead of answering. "I love how he always remembered his roots."

"Dad, I told you I'm sorry", Jungkook let out, tears now coming up. "Being here is like drowning to me, you could have visited me too y'know. No one ever made the effort to get there. I wasn't happy here and I- I just needed the distance-"

"Yeah. As I said, I hope for you, your son won't ever do that to you."

"I won't", Taejeon blurted out. "Because I know for a fact my Dad wouldn't be rude as fuck on his deathbed just because I take care of myself too. I might be only eleven and y'all don't take me serious but everyone seems to forgetting that I'm the one who saw my own father almost dying. I know a lot", Taejeon snapped.

"You can't relate because you've never been at a point where Daddy was when he left this dumb place here. So stop being mean to him or I will walk out of here and you can die without saying goodbye to your grandson."

The man's eyes widened at those harsh words from the kid. "Taejeon, you do realise who you're talking to, right?", he growled.

"Yeah, but I'm not taking everyone's shit they throw at my Dad when I worked my booty off to get him back on track." Taejeon took his Dad's hand and squeezed it. "If you want to be mean, be mean to someone else."

Jungkook didn't say a word, he wasn't good at expressing himself while his son was incredibly strong in his personality. There wasn't a single day in the kid's life where he let anyone treat him or his father or Lili in a bad way. Taejeon always stood up for his loved ones.

And Jungkook couldn't be more proud of his little one.

"I think you should leave", Mr Jeon said distantly, eyeing Jungkook. "You did it for five years, you can do it again."

And that's when Jungkook felt the tears falling. He felt so damn unwanted here, there wasn't a single person who seemed happy to have him back here. Not even his own father.

"Let's go", Taejeon pulled Jungkook outside and held his hand for the whole way.

But once they stepped out, Jungkook had no idea where to go. There wasn't anyone awaiting him. No one to hold him and dry his tears.

No one but his son.
Who would be at his mother's place soon.

***