as much as i loved daddy issues and back in his arms but sadly we're reaching towards the end )): i'll miss this book soooo. so so so much.
anyways there's like 3-4 chapters left + the epilogue <3

***

"Let's try it", Jihyo said slowly.
"It's fine, we don't have to", Taejeon shook his head, grabbing Lili's hand while tears filled up the small boy's eyes. "We do", Lili whispered, ruffling his hair softly. "Come on, it's gonna be fine."
But the boy kept shaking his head, refusing to let anyone help him get up.
"It's not going to work", he said in a small voice, "I can't feel them at all."
His eyes glanced around the room, it was all white and looked exactly like a hospital-, which was where they were right now.

Taejeon asked his father to wait outside and take Lili in with him instead. He wasn't ready to forgive his father yet for being responsible for all this.
"If you give up now, you'll never be able to walk again", Jihyo said, tilting her head a little. Namjoon leaned at the wall and nodded, "You gotta try, buddy."

"It's not going to fucking work, leave me alone", Taejeon blurted out, voice breaking after he finished his sentence. "Go", he said again, "Just go. Leave me alone!", the boy started yelling, covering his face to avoid looking anyone in the eyes. He hated that. Not being strong, it wasn't what Taejeon was used to after being the strong little boy all his life. The one who got it all together even though his life was a mess.
"Taejeon", Jihyo tried, patting his shoulders, "We can try another time, please stop pushing us away, we're trying to help!"

"Leave", Taejeon sobbed, "Don't touch me", he pushed off her hands and turned around in his wheelchair, facing the wall now.
Namjoon grabbed Jihyo by her wrist and dragged her out, "Let's give him a minute." The girl nodded and followed him outside. Lili was about to go as well but Taejeon stopped her, "Not you-"

"Sounded like it", Lili said in a small voice but turned around and walked back to her boyfriend. "Are you okay? Like, for real?"

Taejeon shook his head, "Do I look like it?"
"Not really", Lili admitted slowly, intertwining their fingers. "But I don't know how to make you feel better. I'm just a kid-"
"So am I", Taejeon shrugged, "So am I", he repeated, tears still falling.

"You have to try standing up at some point, Taejeon", Lili whispered, "Your legs are fine, Namjoon checked up on them every single day. You're okay, it's you that needs to want to get back up."
"Don't you think I want to?", Taejeon snapped, pulling his hand away. "I just can't!"

Lili gulped and nodded, "Okay", she let out softly, "Okay, it's okay."
"No it's not", he cried out, "Nothing's okay and my Dad's too busy to see! I've always paid attention to him, I knew when something was wrong the second it happened. He hasn't noticed in weeks that I feel like fucking shit."

The girl nodded, "I know and that sucks."

"It does", Taejeon whispered, "I thought we were stronger than that, y'know? I thought me and my Dad-, we're different. But he's just the same kind of Dad his own father was."

"Don't say that", Lili hummed, "He didn't have it easy as well-"

Taejeon nodded, "Of course", he sighed. "Of course, yeah. Sorry I forgot that we're all making excuses for my Dad just because he went through a lot. I did too, Lil. I did too and he still let me get into this car even though he KNEW it'd turn into a crash. He fucking knew and he didn't stop me."
The girl nodded again, her eyes sparkling full of tears as well, "I'm sure he's sorry for that.."

"Sorry doesn't change anything", Taejeon sobbed, "I could have died in that accident. And he still let it happen, Lili! He's my Dad! He let it happen and now he's fine and I'm not and he doesn't even see it."

"Stop, please", Lili shook her head while stepping back. "Don't put me in a position like this, I don't want to talk badly about your father. He fucked up, yes he did. Like he always does-, but he's still your Dad. And you and your Dad you're amazing together, don't let one mistake change everything."

"He's got Taehyung now."

"Taejeon stop", Lili said, this time sounding a little harsher than before, "Just stop."

"Who are you to tell me to stop? You're just a girl." Taejeon crossed his arms and put his chin up. But that's when Lili's expression went blank, "Fuck you? I'm not just a girl I'm your girlfriend and you love me, you're being an idiot right now! I didn't do anything wrong, don't let your anger out on me when it's your father who got you mad."
She turned around and walked further steps away from him until she was in a corner, staring at the wall with arms crossed as well.

"Lili", Taejeon blurted out, "I'm sorry I didn't mean that."
But he didn't get any answer. "I'm sorry I-"
"Fuck you", Lili said again, "I refuse to believe you've just treated me like a typical teenage boy does. You're not like that, you're not."

"I'm not", Taejeon tried again, "Lili come here I can't get any closer", he whispered, eyeing the table which was blocking the way.
"I don't want to", she only said, giving a fuck on Taejeon's wheelchair.

"Lil I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you-"

"You didn't hurt me, I know you're better than that", she laughed bitterly, "But don't you ever call me just a girl again. Or else you can get a new girl. We're not your Dad and Taehyung, you can't treat me like this and think I'll give you chance after chance. We're not them."

"I know I know", Taejeon nodded, "I never wanna be like them-"

Lili didn't say a word, she just stared at the wall with a heavy feeling on her chest. This sucked. This was the first time in their whole time together when Taejeon directly offended her, he never did that before. "You're still mad", he murmured and she nodded. "Guess I'm just a girl, they get upset easily."

"You're not just a girl", Taejeon sighed, biting his lips when he forced himself up, his arms lifting him until his legs were touching the ground.

And the next thing Lili felt where Taejeon's arms around her tummy while he pulled her in a hug after he limped around the table. His legs still felt numb, almost sore-, but if it's for this small girl Taejeon would climb mountains and cross rivers.
"Taejeon", she whispered, her fingers brushing along his arm, "Taejeon you're standing-"

"Are you still mad?"

"That's the only thing you care about??? Taejeon you'RE STANDING", she cried out, turning around in their hug and pressed a kiss to his lips.
"So you're not mad anymore", Taejeon hummed relieved and finally let go of her.

When the door opened again and Jihyo walked back in with Namjoon and Jungkook by her side, Taejeon's smile froze and he simply looked at his Dad. "Oh my god", Jungkook let out and walked closer, opening up his arms, "How did you get up?", he asked, excitement written all over his face again.

"I guess I just realised I care about someone enough to get back up", Taejeon said, voice distant and his lips trembling when Jungkook pulled him in a hug. "I'm so glad you're standing, honey!"

"Yeah so you don't have to live with the guilt anymore", Taejeon said and pulled back. He grabbed Lili's hand and then walked out of the room as if he had never sat in a wheelchair. It still felt awkward to walk but at least he did it-, somehow.
Jungkook gulped dryly, nodding to himself when he saw Taejeon walking away from him just like that.
Jihyo patted his back softly, "Let him", she mumbled, "It's a lot for him too."

Kook nodded and then walked out as well, face down, teeth gritted so he wouldn't start crying in public. He was a little too old to be that weak, right?

*

"Where were you?"

Lyza looked away when she walked back in the hotel room after spending the night in another hotel with Jimin. Nothing happened, they simply watched Netflix and talked all night-, yet it still felt wrong. It felt as if she cheated.
Maybe because it felt so right when she was with Jimin? Maybe because they actually had good conversations and she got to laugh a lot last night. But is it normal to feel like a cheater just because you enjoyed the company with someone?

No it's not normal and she knew that.
It was just more proof of how unhappy she had been during the past months or more like years.

"I stayed at Jimin's", she said in all honesty, knowing it would get Finn mad again. As always.
"So did you cheat on me?", he asked bluntly, eyes focused on the wall.

"Of course not", Lyza let out. "But I'm breaking up with you."
"What?"
"I'm breaking up with you", she repeated, voice numb because she knew it was a mistake to come here and do it in person. In every other case it was the only right thing to do but with a boy like him it was quite suicidal to break up with him like that.

"You're not. You can't."

"I deserve better", Lyza hummed. "You're insecure. You clinge. I can't be myself with you and I'm sick of it. It's just like being with Jungkook all over again-, it's not making me feel happy. And I think, after all, I deserve a little happiness as well."

"Did you sleep with him", Finn asked quietly, fists balling. "Was it that good that you're leaving me for him?"

Lyza laughed bitterly, "You really think I'd do that? Cheat on you? After all those years? Fuck Finn, do you even know me? At all?"
She shook her head, grabbing the few things she had here and put them into a bag. "Your parents won't allow you to break up with me."

"My parents?", Lyza laughed. "I'll get a job here, I'm not going to talk to them again. All they do is pushing me in the fire all over and over again. That's not what you call parenting, Finn. I'll finally live a little now. Maybe get a degree in arts and work in a museum or an art gallery. Who knows, I have no clue where I'm going from here but I know one thing-, I don't wanna take this road with a guy by my side."

"What about Jimin?", Finn groaned. "Fucking him for sure got his hopes up."

"I didn't have sex with Jimin", Lyza rolled her eyes, "And what about him? Maybe I'll give it a try, maybe we'll go on dates and maybe at some point we'll be a thing. Who fucking knows. But for now-, all I need is myself. I have no idea who I am and I'm 25 already Finn. It's time to stop depending on boys to define myself."

"Okay"

"Okay?"

"Yes, okay", Finn said again, shrugging. "I really hope you find it", he said and looked away. "Whatever it is that you're looking for."

"Happiness, Finn", Lyza let out, tears coming up. "I walk down the streets and I see people laughing carelessly. I see them joking around, kissing and hugging others. They're so free and let go. It's beautiful. I want that too."

"I really hope you're gonna get that", Finn said. His voice was so calm that it almost scared Lyza. He never stayed calm during arguments. "I thought maybe I could give you that. Y'know, happiness. But I feel like I put too much pressure on you. And if I can't bring you happiness then I doubt I should keep trying."

Lyza nodded, "Thank you for understanding."

"It's whatever", Finn said and turned away, showing her his back. "Just go. I hope one day, when we're old and way wiser than we are right now, I hope we'll meet again and you'll tell me you found it."
Lyza nodded, "I hope so too."

"Alright", Finn shrugged, "I guess I'll book my flight back then."
Lyza nodded and with that being said she just left. She walked out of the door and it felt weird. There wasn't a fight. He didn't even try to fight it. Silently accepting her decision.

If only the girl would've known that once she left Finn never took a flight back. The boy went for a walk and after crossing a bridge, the boy would never be seen alive again.
Lyza didn't know.
You never know what's going on behind a facade. Sometimes the most broken people act the strangest. In Finn's case he clinged too much onto the one thing he wanted to have which turned into abuse pretty quick and cost him a life.

But Lyza didn't know that.
And she'd never will.

Once she walked down the road, there was this sudden feeling of freedom. Her heart skipped beats when she saw that the snow was still covering the streets, making everything appear like in movies. Christmas lights where still hung up on the shops, the people still wore warm winter jackets and an old man was singing in the streets while playing his guitar.
Lyza could feel herself this morning, she could breathe the air and she could feel the cold hitting her lungs but it didn't hurt-, instead she never felt more alive.
And for the blink of an eye she caught herself wishing that she wouldn't have to face people from her past ever again. Including her small family. What if she'd just go-

She knew she couldn't though.
So after enjoying those small minutes of freedom she changed her direction and headed back down the street to give her son a visit and tell him she left Finn.

As amazing it might sound to start fresh with nothing left from the past-, in the end she was still a mother and that's irreplaceable.

The girl walked in on Taejeon sitting at the dinner table next to Lili, across the table Taehyung and Jungkook who were staring at their plates because eating didn't look too good for them right now after last night and all that alcohol.
They invited her to join them so she sat down and immediately noticed that something was off. Not like usually though because there was always a weird feeling hanging above them, no today it was different.

"Guys what's wrong-", she asked quietly.
"Yeah", Lili agreed. "What are we even doing."

"Eating", Taehyung replied calmly, looking at the girls to make them shut up about it but of course he knew as well that it somehow wasn't adding up.
Taejeon pushed his plate away, got up and left the table. Lyza was confused seeing him walk again but decided not to question it right away.
"Is he upset?"

"He always is", Jungkook groaned. "It's puberty."

"You sure about that?", Lili snapped, looking at Jungkook with squinted eyes. "Ever thought he might be feeling bad? Ever tried talking to your son? Maybe like he did when you needed someone?"

Jungkook looked away, "He'd come and tell me when something's wrong, he always did that."
"Yeah before you risked his life in an arranged car crash", Lili let out, regretting being like this the second the words left her mouth.
Jungkook's face froze, "Did he say something like that?"

But she refused to keep answering, "I can maybe make him feel okay and happy. And maybe I can get him to walk again, maybe I can get him to smile again but I can't fix the bond with you. And as far as I know that's the most important to him."

Jungkook nodded. "Leave", he said and looked at all of them. "I think I need a night for me and my son", he then said, eyeing Taehyung and Lyza. "Sorry-"
"Even me?", Taehyung asked quietly.
Jungkook nodded, "Especially you."

The older nodded and got up, followed by Lyza and Lili. No one dared to resist because they knew that it wasn't something to argue about. And for a second, there was a glimpse of hope in all their eyes. Knowing Jungkook still chose Taejeon above them all was more than just throwing them out-, it was much more. With doing so Jungkook proved a point.

Breaking the love with a friend, a lover, a family member-, it's always bearable. But the love you hold for a kid, it's superior. And it should be.
Every good parent should always put its kid first.

Once they left, Jungkook got up and knocked on Taejeon's door.
"Open the door, young man."

Taejeon didn't react.

"Come on. I sent everyone away. And I know you're mad. Open the goddamn door or I'll break it."

"It's your apartment, you'll have to pay for it", Taejeon grumbled while opening the door to glance at his father. "Is Taehyung gone too?"
Jungkook nodded, "Yes. Would you finally talk to me now?"

"You could've just asked like two weeks ago."
"You were busy hiding in your room all day with your girlfriend, how am I supposed to know you still want to spend time with your Dad. It's all girls girls girls in your head."
Jungkook crossed his arms, sounding a little salty as well.

"Yeah and it's all Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung in your head", Taejeon snapped back.
"No", Jungkook scoffed, "I also think about making you food and force you to go to school."

"Great", Taejeon rolled his eyes, "I'd rather have my Dad back who spends all his time with me and plays games with me all the time. You even went out with me and Lili before, now it's just you and Tae."
Jungkook grumbled something to himself before he let out a sigh and ruffled Taejeon's hair, "You'll have to get used to sharing me. But I apologize for giving you the feeling that you're not as important to me than before. But what do you expect me to do now? How can I make it right?"

"Break up with Tae-"
"Fine", Jungkook grabbed his phone but Taejeon quickly pushed it out of his hands, "I'm joking you dumbie!!!!!!"

Jungkook sighed relieved, picking up his phone from the ground, "Thank god."

"Would you have done that?"
"Sure, I'm not going to be with a man you don't want by my side. Bros before hoes."

"That's a saying for homies", Taejeon laughed and grabbed his Dad's hands. "Aren't we homies?!", Jungkook asked with big eyes. "NO. You're my embarrassing Dad who goes to my school dances and parties all night there. I'm the cool dude who gets the pretty girl and somehow keeps up with my dumb Dad."

"Wow that hurt", Jungkook hold his chest playfully, acting as if he would be seriously heartbroken.
"Good", Taejeon blurted out, "It hurt too to get thrown into a car crash because my Dad arranged it."

"Why did you had to run after me though", Jungkook sighed.
"Because I love you?", Taejeon punched his father's sides. "And there's nothing I wouldn't do if you're hurt?"

"Well I love you too but you just acted as if I don't and that's unfair. You never had a son you can't even relate so it was really dumb."

"One day I'll know how it feels to have a son", Taejeon grumbled, "And I'll never arrange a car crash or hang out with Lili all day while our kid is being sad."

"I didn't know you were sad, you kept being mean to everyone and kept hiding from me", Jungkook defended himself. "True but still", Taejeon hummed.

"You're really serious about Lili, huh? Already planning kids?"

"Tell me, who was your first crush, Dad, huh? Who did you like in elementary school? In middle school? Who's the first person who caught your eye?", Taejeon questioned, knowing the answer already.
"Taehyung."
"Oh and how old were you when you two started kissing?"
"Eleven."
"You're really serious about Taehyung, huh? Already planning kids?", Taejeon imitated Jungkook's words from earlier with a grin on his face.

"Mhm", Kook chuckled. "Fine."
"It's the same. But with one difference-, we're not going to fuck each other up", Taejeon explained and then hugged his Dad out of nowhere. "Will I get a sibling though? Or a dog? Like, for real. You have a kid, Taehyung has one but you don't have one with each other? It's kinda weird."

"First of all, I can't get pregnant so we can't really have one together. Secondly, I may consider a dog. And third, if we'd have another kid my son, his name is Taejeon and he's a jealous little bean, would rip my head off. He already isn't able to share me with my boyfriend."
Taejeon tsk'ed and let out a giggle, "Taejeon sounds like the perfect kid."

"He is", Jungkook sighed and gave his son a forehead kiss. "Can we get McDonalds now?", he grinned, knowing way too well that Taejeon lived for that. He'd always remember how the kid asked for McDonalds every single day when he picked him up from kindergarden.
"Yes", Taejeon agreed. "And call Mom and Tae and Lil. It's family dinner, right?"

"At McDonalds?", Jungkook laughed.
"As classy as stripping on our kitchen counter after getting drunk of Tequila", Taejeon smiled innocently, reminding Jungkook of his last night.

And that's when they realised;

Fuck, it was still Taehyung's birthday and they just sent him away even though they promised going out for dinner.

Oh well, good for them that they planned to have dinner at McDonalds now.

Like in good old times.
And maybe, just maybe, the timing was finally right for all of them.
Happiness waiting for them right behind a door that had been closed forever yet kicked open by a stubborn eleven year old, a strong young woman, a loving father and a man with a heart of gold.
Holding on through the tough times always pays off.

It's called karma.

5 years later..

***

we gonna get teenage taejeon for a lil bit now cuz i rly rly wanted to write that before wrapping the book up so that's why the time skip