i have so many new books to publish and it's so hard not to do it and to keep writing my old ones UGH

***

5 years ago

"You bought flowers for me?", Lyza let out a weak laugh when she saw Jungkook standing right in front of her, holding a huge bouqet of flowers. He mixed roses in different colors, from red over white and pink ones. The boy's eyes were reddened, his smile for sure not real but he tilted his head in such a sweet way that Lyza couldn't help but feel her heart beat up to her chest.

"Thank you", she hummed, one hand rubbing her tummy while she took the flowers and put them into water. Jungkook nodded, following her. "I was thinking.."

The girl turned her head, lifting one of her brows. "About what?", she asked softly, reaching for his hand when he stopped in front of her. "You always wanted to go to New York for college-"
She nodded, "Kook, it's fine. I'm okay with where I am now-", she interrupted him quickly, trying to avoid him feeling guilty.

"We can go there after the wedding and stay there, I want Taejeon to grow up in a better place than we had to.."

The girl's expression changed completely, her mouth slightly dropped open. "You'd do that?" He shrugged, "There's nothing left for me here, all I have is you and our kid-"
Lyza gulped dryly, pressing a small kiss to his cheek, "Maybe, someday."
Her eyes glanced down to her stomach as she let out a quiet sigh. Someday, when she wasn't with him anymore.

"Are you okay?", the boy asked, pointing at her tummy after noticing that she constantly held it. That reminded him awfully lot of something. "I am, it's just my period", she hummed.

Jungkook smiled bitterly. Lyza was lying to him. "Alright. Do you want me to make you some tea? Cookies? Blanket?"
She quickly shook her head.  "It's fine, Kook."

With that their conversation ended and they went back to silence. Just as always lately.
Lyza was focused on her phone not even five minutes later and Jungkook couldn't see what exactly they were writing but he read a name and that was enough for him to feel like crying.

"Lyza", he let out, voice shaking. "Please don't break my heart, please.."
His girlfriend looked up to him, putting her phone down immediately. Her face softened when she saw tears sparkling in his eyes, "Oh dear", she hummed, hugging him from the side. She put her chin down on his shoulders and let out a deep breath. "Whatever happens, trust me-, nothing is ever meant to break your heart."

"Why didn't you just say yes?"

Silence again. Lyza lacked explanations and Jungkook needed answers. What both misunderstood was that when Jungkook asked her not to break his heart all he had in mind was, Please don't end up with Taehyung while Lyza thought he wanted her to stay with him.

Everything was about him though, from the very first day until his last. It's always gonna be him.

In the end both of them knew that their biggest heartbreak was just a few breathes away.

Taehyung:
yo wdym! lyza

Lyza:
i have no idea what to do tae

Taehyung:
does kook know

Lyza:
no..

Taehyung:
you can't do this to him. it won't make it any better between you guys

Lyza:
so you want me to get an abortion?!

Taehyung:
i don't want shit from you, lyz. you fucked up, not me

Lyza:
why am i even talking to you

Taehyung:
cuz i'm the only one who cares about kookie enough not to tell him that you got pregnant through cheating :D hoe

Lyza:
tae! wtf

Taehyung:
no but really
finn?! dude he's a dick. he was one of our very first bullies. why him?!

Lyza:
i haven't made a test, tae

Taehyung:
so? with how many did you sleep wtf 😂

Lyza:
it could be yours

Taehyung:
when did we-
oH
oh no no no it's not it can't be-

Lyza:
it could also be kooks

Taehyung:
the way you sleep around while being engaged and i can't even get the love of my fucking life wow 💀

Lyza:
tae can u pls be helpful for once

Taehyung:
wait u slept with kook again?

Lyza:
we tried

Taehyung:
did it work

Lyza:
kinda?

Taehyung:
oh for fuck's sake
he even tries to be the best he can for you
lucky bitch 💀

Lyza:
i know and i appreciate it!

Taehyung:
you don't and you will never be good enough for him jungkook deserves the world

Lyza:
you're not better than me

Taehyung:
at least he loves me 😚

Lyza:
can you stop your salty attitude and come back to the topic?

Taehyung:
NO i dont wanna have anything to do with that shit. get an abortion it's for the best

Lyza:
imagine i'd take a life that could bring out someone like taejeon, wouldn't that be a total waste ):

Taehyung:
lyza idc. give me my kookie back and i'll help you figure your shit out. but you stole my man and now u think imma help? lol fuck off

Lyza:
technically you stole my man-

Taehyung:
jungkook. has. never. been. yours.

Lyza:
he's no one's. he belongs to himself

Taehyung:
bullshit he's mine and you better overthink marrying him if ur getting a child from someone else.

Lyza:
what if it's yours?

Taehyung:
it's not but even if it was, we'd give it away after birth. i don't want to be in any way related to you sorry. kook is too important to me to do this to him.

Lyza:
okay

Taehyung:
don't let him find out
& please don't break his heart

****

Taehyung was still placing kisses everywhere on Jungkook, even hours later when the front door opened suddenly and Taejeon walked in. Both boys looked up, quickly putting clothes on when they heard Taejeon walking upstairs, slowly but surely.
"Did we just spend around five hours with kissing and stuff-", Jungkook chuckled and Taehyung nodded. "We have missed 25 years of doing that, Baby. Let us catch up-"  Kook giggled cutely and then sat up.

The door opened and the whole mood switched instantly.
Taejeon's eye was blue-ish and bruised, his lips chopped and still full with blood. He was clearly limping and his swollen eye could barely be opened. "Oh my god", Jungkook let out. "What happened, darling-", he immediately jumped up to hug his kid.

Taejeon smiled weakly. "Some boys beat me up after they found out you're my Dad. Apparently everyone knows you like boys so they called me fag and knocked me out-"

Taehyung's eyes widened. "Who did that? I'm going to talk to their fucking parents right fucking now."
But the kid shook his head, looking at his father. "Dad I want to go back home, please."

Jungkook was quiet for a while, grabbed some ice packs and held them to Taejeon's swollen eye. "Dad please", Taejeon repeated, this time close to tears. "I miss home I miss Lili I miss going to school with nice kids-"

His Dad nodded, smiling softly. "I'll book a flight", he gave Taejeon a kiss to his forehead. "Don't worry, you're not going back there. We're leaving as soon as the next plane flies out-"
Taehyung looked confused, "Wait what? Kook we can figure this out, I'll talk to everyone I'll make sure no one hurts our Taejeonie-"

But Jungkook ignored all that, carefully pressing the ice to his boy's skin. "They can hurt me or you however they want. I can handle it, but I promised myself that the second someone does my son wrong I'll leave. That just happened Taehyung."

"I know but-"
"No", Jungkook interrupted harshly. "You're not my top priority right now, Tae. You're free to come with us, I'd love to share my life with you. There's nothing I want more than marrying you, having kids of our own and all that shit. But not if it sacrifices Taejeon's happiness."

With that he looked at his kid, "Go pack your stuff and ask Lili's Mom if she would pick us up at the airport."
Taejeon nodded and rushed out of the room, already picking up his phone to call Lili out of excitement. The pain already forgotten.

"You're seriously leaving me again?"

Jungkook laughed out softly. "I'm not leaving you, I offer you to come with us. But don't you understand that I'm not going to let my son get bullied here just like I was?" And Taehyung nodded slowly.

"Okay"

Kook was confused, tilting his head. "Okay?"

"Go"

"So is this over or are we doing long distance?", Jungkook asked quietly. "I'd try, Tae. I swear I would-"
"I don't trust you enough."

"O-oh", Jungkook sighed. "Are you coming for Christmas?"
Taehyung shrugged, "No idea", the boy sounded so numb.

"Will you back to Jimin?"
"Probably", Taehyung hummed, focusing on the floor. "I'll miss you-"

"This doesn't have to be over Tae", Jungkook tried again. "We could manage long distance. I'm sure we could-"
The older only nodded, "Whatever."

"Why won't you just come with us?"
Taehyung bit his lips, "I really don't like America. It reminds me of bad times-"

"You haven't really been to America-", Kook tried but got cut off soon after. "As I said, there's a lot you need to know."

"I know enough to tell you that I don't wanna hear it", Jungkook said. "Oh trust me you don't-", Tae laughed amused.

Jungkook only furrowed his brows while he packed the few things he brought here. It were only a few clothes and his diary. He sneaked some of Taehyung's hoodies in his bag too, just in case he'd miss him too much. Then he turned to Taehyung and smiled weakly.

"You think I don't know she was pregnant again? And you honestly think I don't know it was yours?", with that he headed to the door, walking right through it.

Taehyung felt his emotions collide all at once when he ran after Jungkook. "Did she tell you? Did that fucking hoe tell you?"

"I knew it all along, Tae", Jungkook chuckled. "Yet I never told you so you wouldn't feel bad."

"How did you know then?!", the older yelled.

Jungkook inhaled deeply. "I knew how my girlfriend looks when she's pregnant. And I know that she would've married me if not she'd had a significant reason. And you would've taken me back that day, and if not you'd had a significant reason for it. You locking me here after you found out I met her? You being all mysterious about your life here? Tae I know both of you and I know when people hide stuff from me-"

Taehyung gulped. "Are you mad?"

"Where's the kid? Did you keep it?", Jungkook mumbled, feeling horrible now that it was spoken out.

"I have no idea. She never made a test by the way, it could've been Finn's or yours too", Tae clarified. "But as far as I know she gave it away."

"Okay", Jungkook said. "I'm leaving now."

-

"Hey hey hey where you running?", a man's voice made Jungkook stop running. Taejeon was breathing heavily, trying to catch up. They were on their way to the airport now. Kook looked back over his shoulder, his eyes meeting Finn's.

"What do you want?", Kook let out in a small voice. He felt tiny and weak in comparison to the big puff guy who once played football in highschool.
"Have a sweet little talk to you", the boy smiled and then grabbed Jungkook by his collar, pulling him into the next side street. "Woah-", Jungkook squealed. Finn grabbed into his pockets and threw his phone to the ground, doing the same to Taejeon's-, just in case they'd record any of this. Then he started shouting,

"You fucking dumb faggot you messed everything up. Lyza denies me sex and Taehyung keeps messaging her, it's all your fucking fault you dumb little slut!"
Kook stepped back, got blocked in his movement by the wall though. "S-sorry I'm about to leave for good-"

"Good because if not, I'm gonna kill you", Finn groaned, slamming Jungkook against the wall. Taejeon stood besides them, unable to do anything. Frozen. The little boy was frozen and shocked, silent tears falling off his lashes. Busan was nothing but hell. A living nightmare.
"I-", Jungkook let out. He got cut off by Finn lifting his knee right between his legs abruptly. The boy screamed in pain, a fist following the kick, meeting his nose. "I'm leaving! What do you want from me!", he cried in pain.

"I don't fucking know. I just want to be you. Everyone loves you, even though you're nothing but a disgusting fag."

Jungkook held his balls because they still hurt like shit from the kick he got there. "Actually I'm pretty fucking lonely-", he whispered.

"Aren't we all?", Finn questioned, slamming the boy's head into the wall which made him faint to the ground. Consciousness fading away as well.

"Dad!", Taejeon yelled out, jumping to his father's side. He looked at Finn with doey eyes, "Damn who broke your heart-", he mumbled and then tried to sit his Dad up. It was freezing cold outside, snow covering the streets again. An icy wind coming along. "What did you just say?", Finn asked, voice cold as the ice on the streets.

"N-nothing", Taejeon whispered, kinda scared of the man. He kept trying to lift his Dad's upper body up but it didn't work. "Can you call an ambulance please-", he begged but Finn only laughed.

"I don't give a fuck if he dies out here", and with that he walked away.

Leaving the kid alone with his father in his arms, having no idea who to call or where to go.

***