"Hays bwiset!"

Bungad ni Ate Jonarlene saka padabog na umupo sa tabi ko.

"Problema mo?"

Tanong ko. Napasimangot itong humalukipkip at nag dekwatro.

"Eh kasi—hays! Basta naiinis ako!"

Paghihimutok niya pa. Nagsalubong ang kilay ko doon.

"Bakit nga?"

Naguguluhan kong tanong. Ate jonarlene puffed a harsh breath saka inisang lagok ang kanyang margarita.

"T*ngina talaga!"

Inis na mura niya pa. Namumula ang mukha nitong mukang inis na inis talaga.

"Ay ewan ko sayo! Ang gulo mong kausap, wag mo na ngang ikwento."

Inirapan ko siya. Ngumuso ito at salubong ang kilay na tumitig sa akin, mukhang lasing na din ito. 

"Kasi nga ganito yan!"

Pag uumpisa niya.

“Tapos ayun naiinis ako!”

Napakamot ulo ako sa gulo ng pagsasalita nito. Ang tanging naintindihan ko lamang sa mga sinasabi niya ay sa di malamang dahilan ay naiinis daw siya. 

"Ha?"

Naiinis na rin ako. Hahambalusin ko na to ng tubo eh!

"Kasi ganito yan! Si ano! Tapos si ano!"

Muling saad niya. I heaved a deep heavy breath then rolled my eyes on her in irritation.

"Si ano kasi! Ayun nga! Si Reyanne beybeeh Ginugulo na naman ng prinsipe ng mga baklitang aswang! Ayun nga at magkausap pa sila! At ang nakakainis pa nun ay ayun nga! Yung ano kasi ano!"

Napanguso ako. Bat ba ang gulo magkwento nito? Epekto ba ng alak? O baka naman ay utak na niya ang may diperensya?

"So ayun nga ate gurl! Si Reyanne beybeeh! Nag-aalala lang naman ako! Paano kung mauto siya ng manyakis na prinsipe ng mga aswang na hybrid ng bangus na iyon?! Look oh! They are even dancing! Nakakainis diba?!"

Patuloy sa pagkukwento niya. Sabay turo sa dalawang bultong nagsasayaw ngayon. I saw Kuya Nickos dancing with someone. It is the woman, Ate Jonarlene introduced me to, earlier. Ate Reyanne. She’s one of the top lawyers in the country and it seems like her and Kuya Nickos are actually ex lovers; according to Ate Jonarlene’s story.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit asar na asar siya kay Kuya Nickolas. Maybe she is really protective of her bestfriend. Her eyes say otherwise though.

"Hindi pwede to! Masasaktan lang si Reyane beybeeh sa echoserang shokoy na aswang slash alien na prinsipe ng mga baboy na yun! I have to do something!"

Nababaliw nang sabi pa niya. Ang daldal naman ni Ate Jonarlene. . .Napa buntong hininga na lamang akong hinayaan na lamang si Ate Jonarlene sa kung ano mang trip niya sa buhay.

"May idea na ako! Kailangan ko lang na makalapit sa kanila nang hindi naiipit sa mga tao!"

Tumayo ito ng tuwid at muling lumagok mula sa kopita. 

"Bye muna baby Leigh! Sayaw ka muna diyan! Yung awazi Leigh. . . Awazi Leigh, Leigh. . . Gets mo? Hehe. . . Diko rin gets mga sinasabi ko minsan ehh! Anyways! Ayun nga, bye na!"

Pagpapaalam niyang nagpangiwi sa akin. Mukhang lasing na lasing na siya. Magiging okay lang kaya siya?

Gumewang pa ito ng konti at nagmamadaling naglakad. Nakita kong kamuntikan pa itong matumba dahilan para medyo mapamulagat ako ng mga mata. Mabuti na lamang at nasalo ito ni Kuya Lucas.

Ngumiti siya doon ng malapad saka walang sabi sabing hinila na si Kuya Lucas sa dance floor. Napailing na lang akong ibinalik ang tingin sa inumin ko. 

The party went well. Halos hindi rin mapaghiwalay si Tyson at ang babaeng yun na lalong nagpainis lang sa akin ngunit hindi ko iyon pinahalata dahil wala naman talaga dapat akong ikainis.

In fact, I should be happy for him. He finally found someone. He is already at the age of settling down.

As for me, I am already 21, turning 22 and I am just starting to face the future ahead of me. Making my own name. May nakalaan din para sa akin. 

Right, I should be happy. . . But why do I feel miserable? I don’t show it, but deep inside it pains me. What I felt for him back then was a simple crush right? Partially it was his fault. He even kissed me before and said he loves me as if he really meant it. 

Hindi ko alam kung ano bang motibo niya noong mga panahong iyon.

For all I know he was actually grooming me. He is a lot older than me and I am really innocent back then, he should’ve known better than to seduce a child, a lot younger than him. Na ipinagkatiwala pa mismo sa kanya ng pamilya nito para protektahan—hindi para utuin.

Why am I even convincing myself to hate him? Well if you think about it, I do have a point and what I felt back then is valid. I might be innocent before, I do not understand a lot of things but I have feelings too. 

Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit parang galit pa siyang umalis ako gayong alam ko namang gusto niya rin iyon at wala ng pipirwisyo sa kanya. The only thing I am good at is running away, hiding from potential dangers that might hurt me. 

So I didn't really understand his words a week ago. 

Kung tutuusin ay dapat matuwa siya at ako na mismo ang umalis, hindi ba? 

I sighed. 

I wanted to hate him ng slight para kahit papaano naman ay quits kami noh. Pero hindi ko magawa. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to hate him. 

Hindi iyon ang itinuro sa akin ni yaya. Kahit naman baliw iyon ay ang bilin niya sa akin ay huwag magtatanim ng galit. Dahit kung anong itatanim mo ay siyang tutubo sa iyo at magiging puno at syempre iyon din ang bungang aanihin mo. 

Ayoko namang puro pait lang ang matitikman ko. 

Life is short to be trapped in the past. There is nothing wrong with looking back at it, but you have to focus more on the present. Baka kasi kakalingon mo sa likod ay hindi mo na nakikita ang dinadaanan mo at di mo mamamalayang nabunggo ka na pala. Masasaktan ka pa. 

Kaya siguro ang sungit sungit niya pa din, Hmp!

Bahala na nga siya diyan. Ano siya gold? Kailangang suyuin? Hindi naman ako ang may kasalanan sa kanya, naiinis pa din ako na para bang ako ang sinisisi niya dati. 

Inis lang, hindi naman ako galit. I know that some people find it hard to heal. Especially when they are badly beaten up by life.

Hindi ko lang talaga alam kung papaano siya pakikitunguhan. But I do hope he finds it in his heart to forgive me. 

Hindi yung ginugulo niya ang utak at puso ko, kung iyon ang paraan niya ng paghihiganti. 

"Hey."

A familiar voice interrupted my train of thoughts.

There, my gaze found a familiar figure grinning at me, ear to ear. 

"Leo!" 

I exclaimed happily and gave him a friendly hug as a greeting.  

He is Leo, my friend that I met back in italy in college, magkaiba lang ang course pero may ilang subjects na naging magkaklase kami. Business partner siya ngayon ni Kuya, kaya siya naririto.

"Kanina ka pa rito?"

Ngiting tanong ko. Leo nodded his head on me.

"Yes, I have no idea that you came back. You should've told me!"

He said, making me laugh. 

"My apologies, naging busy din kasi."

Saad ko pa. Tumabi ito sa akin habang luminga linga sa paligid. 

"You seem to be looking for someone?" 

I asked. Ngumiti lamang ito at umiling. 

"Nothing. . ."

Kibit balikat niyang sagot sa akin. Bukod sa kanya ay may lumapit pa sa aming dalawang pang mga pamilyar na pigura na ikinangiti ko. 

"Vladimir! Miss Ophelia! I'm glad you both made it!" 

I exclaimed, embracing them warmly. Leon did the same. Ophelia Thorn was among the few close friends who knew about my existence, thanks to our families' long-standing bond that started with our grandparents.

She and my brother were almost engaged, but thankfully, Ophelia turned him down, undoubtedly due to my brother's notorious reputation in the past.  However, she seems happy now with her family. Limang taong gulang na rin ngayon ang anak nilang si Ivy. 

Observing them now, they appeared to be a picture-perfect family, radiating happiness. Somehow, I envy them. I wonder what it's like to have a family of your own?

My brother, too, seemed very content with Ate Kristine. Patay na patay at napaka UNDERstanding nga ng kuya kong iyon kay Ate Kris. Akala mo ay hindi sobrang babaero dati. 

Afterward, Leon continued to accompany me as most of my friends were occupied. Hindi ko na nga din mahagilap si Ate Jonarlene at Kuya Nickos na kanina lang ay nasa dance floor. 

"That guy over there is staring at you."

Bulong ni Leon sa tenga ko na hindi ko masyadong marinig dahil sa ingay ng paligid. Awtomatikong napatingin na lamang ako sa tinutukoy niya na sana ay hindi ko ginawa. 

Parang may kung anong kumalampag sa puso ko nang magtama ang mga mata namin. 

And as our eyes connected, a shockwave coursed through my veins. The woman performing a seductive dance in front of him became a mere background blur.

Para bang walang pakialam si Tyson sa tila ba nagdedelihiryo na sa pag sayaw na kadate niya at hindi maialis ang matalim na tingin sa gawi namin. Nandilim ang kanyang mukha, at kung nakamamatay lamang ang mga titig niya ay tiyak na nakabulagta na kami ngayon. 

What is his problem?

"You know him?"

Leon asked. Nag iwas lang ako ng tingin at pilit na ngumiti.

"No, I—I don't. . . "

I lied.

"Liar, I saw you two that night."

He laughed. Nanlaki ang mata ko roon.

"Are you two ex love—"

"Let's just dance!"

Pag babago ko sa usapan saka hinila na siya patungong dance floor. 

We gracefully swayed to the music, the rhythm guiding our movements. His hand gently rested on my waist, while mine found solace upon his shoulders. Malayo rin ang agwat ng katawan namin sa isa't isa, hindi tulad ng ibang kasabay namin na halos magkapalitan na ng mukha sa sobrang lapit sa isa't isa.

As the melodies continued to caress the air, we exchanged lighthearted banter and whispered secrets, taking solace in the temporary escape from reality.

"My turn."

A chilling voice interrupted our blissful interlude. My heart nearly skipped a beat as I realized it was Tyson standing before me. Eyes wide with surprise, I watched as he effortlessly took me away from Leon's grasp, asserting his claim over me.

Nang sandaling magtagpo ang mga balat namin ay para bang nakaramdam ako ng bolta boltaheng kuryenteng dumaloy sa buo kong sistema. 

"Chill, bro."

Natatawang sabi ni Leo na pinanlakihan ko lamang ng mga mata. Ngunit ngising kinindatan lamang ako nito at tumalikod na para iwan ako.

"What was that?!" 

Tyson's voice seethed with anger, his features contorted into a mask of disdain. I remained silent, contemplating my exit strategy, but his grip on my waist only tightened, drawing me closer. 

I'm kinda uncomfortable with our position.

"Dance with me."

He commanded, his breath tickling my ear. In that moment, I found myself unable to refuse.

Napakagat labi na lang akong tumango at ipinatong ang nanginginig na mga kamay sa nerbyos sa magkabilang balikat niya. 

"Y—you're too close. . ."

I murmured softly, my voice barely audible above the music's crescendo. 

Umigting naman ang panga nitong pinukulan ako ng matalim na tingin.

"So, it's acceptable for that guy to be close? Lucas can be near you, but I can't? Is that how it is, Irish?"

The intensity of his question pierced through my defenses, and I exhaled sharply, meeting his gaze with fiery determination.

Pilit akong kumakawala pero mas lalo lang niyang hinihigpitan ang hawak sa akin. 

"W—why do you care?"

Iritang tanong ko. Halos wala ng espasyong namamagitan sa amin na lalo lang nagpailang sa akin.

"Didn't I tell you? You're mine!" 

His voice resonated with icy fervor, his gaze penetrating deep into my soul. I inhaled sharply, my lips forming a defiant line.

Naalala ko na naman ang pakikipaglandian niya kanina. Tapos ngayon ay kung makapagsalita ay akala mo ay pagmamay ari niya ako! My blood boiled in so much irritation.

He really have gotten insane!

"I'm not yours Kuya Tyson! Hindi ako sayo! Bakit mo ba ako pinagbabawalan?! Tatay ba kita ha?! Hindi naman kita pinagbabawalang makipaglandian. Why don't you just leave me alone like you did before? Ang labo labo mo! What do you really want from me?!"

I snapped, the words escaping my lips like venom. Our proximity left no space between us, amplifying the intensity of our confrontation.

"That's the point Irish! Hindi mo ako pinagbabawalan! You act like you do not care at all! Samantalang ako ay halos makapatay na sa inggit at selos!"

He said in frustration, his eyes penetrating me. Nalaglag ang panga ko doong hindi makapaniwala siyang tinitigan. 

"W—why would I even care about that matter? I don't have the right, Tyson. . . "

Tyson sighed harshly. Nagbabaga ang titig na ipinupukol nya sa akin na bahagyang nagpanuyo ng lalamunan ko. 

"What if I give you the right?W-Will you ever care?"

He asked. Hindi ako agad na nakasagot. Bagkus ay naisubsob ko na lamang ang ulo sa dibdib niya dahil para akong biglang nawalan ng lakas. 

"I-I'm all yours, Irish. Claim me. . . "

Bulong niya pa. Rinig na rinig ko ang dagundong ng puso ko na para bang lalabas na sa sobrang bilis ng tibok nito. At mula sa pagkakasubsob ko sa dibdib niya ay mukhang pareho lamang kami ng ritmo.

"I want to be selfish. I want you mine, Irish, I want all of you to be mine. .  ."

Mariing bulong pa niya. My knees turned jelly on his words. 

"N—No. .  ."

I managed to say, tempted to say yes, but knowing I couldn't.

"Aalis din ako ulit Tyson—"

Hindi na nito pinatapos ang kung ano mang sasabihin ko ay nagsalita na ito.

"No, you won't leave again, Irish."

Mariing sabi niya na nagpailing lang ulit sa akin.

"I have to Tyson. Next week na ang alis ko."

Imporma ko. Tumawa ito ng mapakla saka seryosong tinitigan ako. 

"H—Hindi. . . Hindi mo ako iiwan ulit, naiintindihan mo?"

His eyes were pleading as he looked at me desperately, eyeing me darkly.

"I need to Ty—"

"No! I can protect you Irish! I will protect you! Hindi mo na kailangang umalis pa!"

Mariing sabi niya. Desperado ang boses nito habang sinasabi iyon.

"Don't leave."

Muli niyang saad saka tuluyan na akong niyakap.

"Don't leave me again please. . . I can't go back to that darkness. H—hindi ko na kaya. . . I'm sorry for all those hurtful words. I was blinded by rage! I—I did everything Irish. .  . I did everything to find you. . ."

He continued speaking, and I found myself unable to move from where I stood, captivated by his words.

"Kuya Tyson. . . "

Tanging nasambit ko. Mas lalo pang humigpit ang yakap nito sa akin.

"Dammit Irish! Mahirap bang banggitin ang pangalan ko lang ha?!"

He exclaimed in frustration. I shook my head, meeting his gaze with an intense mixture of longing and resolve.

"Tyson."

Pagtawag ko sa pangalan nito. Tyson puffed a harsh breath. 

"I—I need to leave Tyson. I'm not safe here, please. . ."

I blurted out. Napatiim bagang itong mariing tinitigan ako.

"Then I'll protect you! Hindi mo ba maintindihan iyon?! Dammit! I can protect you Irish!"

He paused for a moment then sighed harshly.

"Just never leave me again, Irish. I might lose my mind searching for you."

My heart raced as he uttered those words, and I staggered from my position, closing my eyes tightly.

"Why are you doing this, Tyson?"

 I managed to ask, and Tyson smiled at me, his eyes revealing an indescribable emotion.

"Isn't it obvious? O manhid ka lang?"

Humugot ito ng malalim na hininga at seryosong tumingin sa akin. 

"I love you. I love you so much, it is driving me insane every passing second without you, Leigh Irish Alvarez."