─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

❝ We, we don't have to worry about nothing. 'Cause we got the fire, and we're burning one hell of a something. They, they gonna see us from outer space, outer space. Light it up, like we're the stars of the human, human race ❞ — Burn, Ellie Goulding

🎼

C H A P T E R  T E N

NEW YORK'S HEAT ALWAYS SEEMS TO EMBRACE KEVIN IN A BIG HUG. As the sun lowers in the pink sky coated with streaks of orange sunlight, settling behind cumulus clouds and sailing, time counts down to graduation. Kevin thinks about leaving back home.

Home.

It's foreign as he recalls nothing but playing the piano at a young age.

Only seven years old, he practiced on the bench in his room with determination coursing through his veins, looking at the music sheet for guidance.

He can't remember the last time he felt the magic of the city touch him and uplift him into a spirit of chasing after his dreams. It's the same with New York, except the entertainment industry in Seoul, South Korea is like playing chess. One wrong move and you're knocked out from the competitiveness—checkmate.

If he even wins. What is there to win when one hasn't even started playing the game?

"Kevin," Younghoon says, sitting beside him on the bench. "Does your dad know about that night?" A pause. Kevin's heartbeat accelerates and flashbacks of prom night enter his mind.

His chest feels heavy, anxiety holding him hostage for how his dad might react despite knowing he's a hopeless romantic and his feelings for Jacob.

Kevin knows what Younghoon means. Younghoon waits for Kevin to say something. When there's no response, he holds his hand and squeezes. Kevin glances down, raises his head to look up at him, and Younghoon gives him a soft smile.

"Tell him," Younghoon says with honesty, "When you're ready, though."

"I don't know," Kevin flickers his gaze away to look at the waves of the lake crashing, spotting a seagull soar above. A dainty smile carves on the corner of his mouth as the seagull he was watching dives in front of him, and Kevin opens his palm for the bird to gingerly nibble at the handful of pecans.

Kevin laughs. It tickles.

His heart feels somehow lighter—its wings white and shining in glorious jovial memories.

"It's not that I'm afraid to tell dad about what happened on prom night. I'm scared that the same thing will happen again. He knows when I fall, I fall hard," Kevin shifts his gaze back on Younghoon, holding his umber eyes.

"He's always there for you and will never leave you. We're here for you too, always."

"But someone won't be there to catch me and keep my heart protected," voice trembling, a breath catches in his throat, and his heart clenches.

He hates how fragile his heart is.

How it bleeds, throbbing at an uncontrollably fast pace.

He hates how he still loves him.

He hates how he still has feelings for Jacob.

Kevin blinks to prevent tears from running down his cheeks, but it streams down anyway, and as Younghoon reaches over to wipe away the hot tears racing from the rim of his eyes, he remembers Changmin wiping them away.

The pad of his thumb felt cold against his flushed cheeks. The words spilling from his mouth set his heart on fire, wondering why he fell in love with his childhood best friend.

"Did anyone tell you that your eyes are beautiful? It's like they're holding the universe."

Kevin's heartbeat thumps against his ribcage at the memory, chocolate eyes widening, and his cheeks feel hot. Kevin shakes his head and stands up abruptly. "What is it?" Younghoon looks up at him, brow furrowing.

"I think I'm falling slowly for somebody else."

"Tell me about it."

"Don't freak out."

"I don't think I will, considering how you fall in love easily," Younghoon chuckles, playfully nudging his shoulder. "Kevin, please don't tell me you're falling in love with the wrong person."

"Do you know Changmin?" Kevin says softly, waiting for an answer, for his thoughts, for anything until he notices Younghoon's grip on his hand tightens.

"Ji Changmin, the school band's pianist, and dancer?"

Kevin just smiles and Younghoon flicks his forehead. Kevin winces.

"We used to be boyfriends. It wasn't meant to be in the beginning. Changmin realized his feelings were admiration, and mine was the same. There was someone else, but there was another guy who had feelings for him, and you always loved him, so it's complicated."

It's this that Kevin realizes that he doesn't know much about Younghoon's past as he puts the pieces of the puzzles together to see the entire picture.

He doesn't want to hit a soft spot that will break him apart. "Are you talking about Hyunjae?"

Younghoon turns his attention on him, umber eyes glittering specks of water ice and rings from broken comets, asteroids, and shattered moons. He's been through hell and back.

Because it's not the same and he still loves him.

Younghoon still loves Hyunjae, and Kevin can see that in his downcast face, lips parted to say more. A forced smile seals his lips tight. Kevin slings an arm over his shoulder. "I'm available if you need someone to pretend to be your boyfriend," he teases.

Younghoon pushes him to the side. "There's so much more in this world than to think about falling in love, being loved, and loving someone."

"We need a partner, not a lover."

"Someone who you feel safe with. You could give them your world, your galaxy, your planets, your stars, and your moons."

Younghoon's words never felt so close to home, as if he hit a home run.

Kevin can't help but wonder if Changmin is his other half.

His home.

His Milkyway.

And Kevin's heartbeat sings like harmonious angels descending from heaven. The smile blooming on his face is sweet and unreal. Younghoon grins, watching him stand up, and spread his arms as a bird preparing for flight.

The sun whispers goodbye, hiding under the sea of clouds, and Kevin shines in the midnight sky.

He's Kevin Moon.

And he shines bright as the moon.

. . .

"Kevin."

No response.

"Kevin Moon!" Siwoo calls from downstairs, turns the sink's faucet off, and quickly uses the towel to dry the remaining dishes from dinner. He places them back on the rack. Catching the time on the clock, a sigh of relief escapes his mouth. Chanhee and Younghoon had dropped Kevin home, but Siwoo offered them to stay over.

He has a flight to South Korea with his son and chuckles upon recalling when the three boys were younger, mischievous and reckless, full of youthful energy.

They're still the same.

But they're growing up like the plants in his backyard he grew with Kevin's mom.

Flowers.

How could he forget?

Hana's birthday was yesterday. Wait, when was yesterday?

He remembers the soft fabric of the blanket engulfing him, a damp towel pressing against his forehead, and the sound of the main door closing.

After waking up, he rolled to the side, picked up a green sticky note, and rushed out of bed, finding a bowl of porridge on the dining table. A vase of flowers was in the middle: white and yellow in the center, resembling chrysanthemums, and a small smile slipped across his mouth.

Of course, Chrysanthemums.

They were Hana's favorite and resembled her.

Now he remembers. Yesterday was two days before Kevin's graduation. He needs to talk to him about his mother, about flying back to Korea, and they need to begin their new lives.

Hana wouldn't want them feeling hopeless and sad forever; feelings fade and brighten with time.

"Yes, dad, what did you want to talk about?" Kevin arrives downstairs, footsteps light, meeting Siwoo's eyes. His dad opens his mouth to speak. It's turning midnight in five minutes, and the boy can't believe he's graduating tomorrow.

Time flies fast.

The day has come, and he's already missing all the memories he made in high school.

Kevin and his dad speak unanimously. Startled, they laugh and sit on the sofa across from each other.

"You go first," Siwoo encourages. If he didn't know any better as a parent, he wouldn't have noticed the uneasy tension taking away the bright colors of his son's face. He's not as bright before right now, and his hands overlap each other in his lap. "Kevin, is there something you need to tell me?"

Siwoo's caught up reading cases after cases. He's forgotten about looking after his son.

He couldn't possibly feel more grateful. His son deserves everything. He deserves nothing but his son's happiness, but his son would say otherwise.

Siwoo likes that he can fight for justice and what's right, helping another person solve their problems regarding the case they sent.

Though he seems like a shining king on the outside, he's a diamond in the rough. A perfect match for the warrior princess his mom was.

"I kissed Jacob." Kevin's heartbeat pounds rapidly, chest rising and then falling as his lungs expand to take in the oxygen he may need to prepare for the truth to shock him.

He has prepared in case of an emergency or failure. If all goes well, he also hopes to apologize for shutting the door on him, not understanding him, and thinking he doesn't love mom anymore.

"Did he kiss you back?"

Silence.

Siwoo asks a different question, "Do I need to bring my fry pan? Is there someone else?" tone delicate and warm.

Kevin changes the topic.

"I'm sorry for thinking you don't love mom anymore. I know I was selfish and acted without thinking twice towards you and Jacob."

"Kevin, no. I'm sorry for suddenly telling you we're going back home."

At that moment, Kevin gathers the courage to ask the other question in the back of his mind before it's too late. "What happens if you play with fire?" Kevin asks, heartbeat resonating loudly in his ears.

The silence is a dagger: slowly tearing him apart, threatening a river of blood to flow out of his heart.

Silence isn't always good.

"You burn."

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A U T H OR ' S N O T E

So, here we go another update?

I know I didn't update last Friday, and I apologize for that. I couldn't get an update out because of a change in my schedule and could only write so much. But we got an update out and we're halfway into the story. Are you ready?

What were your favorite lines?

If you've read this far, thank you for reading as always. If you enjoyed reading, please leave a vote, and comment. It helps with the algorithm and makes a girl smile. Till then, shine, dream, and smile my strawberries 💖💖