Sorry for the wait, but I hope you like this chapter ;) *winky face*

Sooo Rey turns 18 in this one, and coincidentally I turn 21 today! I'm finally going to be legal in my own country!

The question of this chapter is: when is your birthday? :)

Happy reading, don't forget to leave comments x

---

Previously in Chapter 17:

Niall: _|_

Rey: _|_

I pocket my phone before I stare at the clock on the wall. We still have an hour and a half to wait, and I already want everything to be over so we can go to England.

"Why are you so sad?" Jake asks and comes to sit down in Eleanor's now vacant place.

"Niall and her are fighting." Sophia answers for me, not looking up from her book.

"Oh, fuck him!"

"She doesn't want to anymore." Sophia answers again.

"Seriously?" I tell her.

Jake rolls his eyes and places his hand on my thigh as he crossed his legs. He evilly smiles at me as he speaks:

"Cheer up bitch, we're going to Paris."

----

We arrive in Paris at twelve pm, but this time the exchange students are waiting for us at the arrivals in the airport with nice banners and bright smiles.

The airport is bigger than in Poland, and everything is definitely much fancier, but I still miss Nins and all the other people there, even though we only stayed three days.

I find Leigh-Anne sitting together with Perrie's exchange student, Jessica. They're linked by the arm which probably means that they're best friends.

"You must be Rey! Je m'appelle Leigh-Anne. This is Jesy."

Introductions follow between the six of us, and Kylie is actually trying to make an effort to be nice. Which is...nice.

I can definitely see that she's changed since her and Sean broke up. The breakup must've been one of the best decisions of her life. I make a mental note to congratulate her for that because I don't think I have.

The ritual is the same as it was in Poland; they drive us to their school where they give us a tour, and after lunch we all go to our exchange students' houses.

There is a welcome party going on later tonight at Aaron's house; Niall's exchange student. I've seen him at school a bit earlier and he's really fit. I mean, who doesn't like a guy with tattoos and a nose piercing? Let's be honest.

I don't ask Leigh-Anne about Aaron, because I don't want anyone to hear about my little, temporary crush. I should probably ask Louis. I trust him.

So after I dress up for the evening with a black dress and matching pumps, I sit down on my bed and pull out my phone to text Louis on WhatsApp. Unfortunately, Leigh-Anne's WiFi is pretty shit, so I can't send the message out, which means that I'll have to wait until the welcome party to talk to him and observe Aaron a little more.

While Eleanor gets Leigh-Anne's makeup done, I walk back into the bathroom to check myself out in the body-length mirror.

As I look at myself, I realize that I've got a bit of a stomach straining against the dress, and immediately begin to panic. I've tried to make myself believe that I had recovered from the eating disorder on my own, but there was always that voice in the back of my mind counting all the calories and regretting every single time I didn't throw up after I ate.

I reluctantly get on the electric bathroom scale after I take off my pumps, and my eyes widen when I see 62. I've gotten three kilograms fatter since the last time I weighed myself a month or so ago.

I slip back into my pumps when Eleanor calls out for me and decide not to eat anything tonight, and only drink water because alcohol has as much calories as normal coke.

Leigh-Anne's mother drives us there, and tells us that she'll be back around two in the morning to pick us up before her shift at her hospital. Or at least that's how Eleanor explained it to me because French definitely wasn't one of my strong subjects at school.

Aaron's house is nice and quite big, but not like one of those big houses that look unoccupied. It's cozy and obviously lived in, since he has two younger sisters that are sleeping at their grandma's tonight so Aaron can have the party.

His parents are upstairs in their bedroom and don't seem to mind the noise coming from downstairs and outside.

"They're used to Aaron's parties already." Leigh-Anne explains as we walk through the crowded house and finally get to the living room where most of our friends are. Everyone is dressed quite fancily, and I learn that we'll be attending a club in an hour or so after we eat the pizza's that Aaron ordered.

"French pizzas are the best." Jesy assures me when we're outside having a smoke with Eleanor and Louis.

"Pizza is the best everywhere." Louis laughs and places an arm around my shoulder.

"Oh I've been meaning to talk to you." I tell him and put my cigarette out in the ashtray.

"Let's go out in the garden then babe."

Louis leads me down the steps with an arm on my lower back and stops when we are finally out of everyone's earshot.

"So what's up?"

"Um I don't really know how to ask you this-"

"Oh come on Rey, you know you can tell me anything without being judged."

"Well uh, I was wondering like, is Aaron single? Because I'd really like to you know-make out with him."

"As far as I know he's single." Louis smirks.

"That's good then. Really good. Thanks." I say and start walking back towards the house.

"Wait, Rey?"

"Yeah?" I ask, turning around when he stops me by grabbing my arm.

"Just don't-don't do something you'll regret."

"What do you mean?"

Do NOT get worked up over this

He's just watching out for you

"I mean...you'll have Aaron for three days yeah? But you'll see Niall after for a long time."

"I don't get it-"

"Don't fuck things up just to make Niall jealous."

"Fuck this up? There is nothing to fuck up in the first place?" I say, pulling my arm back and walking away.

I hate myself for being so rude to Louis who is just looking out for me and doesn't deserve my angry side. Truth is, I want to make out with Aaron partially because I want to, and partially because I want to make Niall jealous. I want him to hurt the same way it hurt me all the times before when he was with girls but then kissed me without it meaning anything.

I know I'm pathetic and have the mentality of a four year old, but can you really blame people for wanting to be someone's first and only choice?

Who doesn't want to have someone want them back as much as they do?

I get a 0,5l bottle from the kitchen and lean against the counter and as I drink, I watch Jake and Harry makeout against the wall in the hallway. I know I'm creepy but I'm also bored since I can't seem to find Sophia, Liam, Eleanor, or anyone else really.

Where is everyone?

I'm about to walk out of the kitchen when Leigh-Anne and Aaron enter the kitchen, laughing and talking about something in French that I don't fully understand.

"Oh, Rey!" Leigh-Anne exclaims and gestures towards me. Aaron looks up and smiles at me. "This is Aaron, one of my best friends."

I put my hand out for Aaron to shake, but he smiles and pulls me into a hug. French people are so nice. I try my hardest not to blush at his closeness when he pulls back.

"Don't you want a drink?" he asks and his voice is deep and so hot. If I don't make out with him until I leave for England I'm going to have to reevaluate my life.

"Uh, no thank you. I don't really like alcohol."

I hear someone snort and roll my eyes when Niall enters the kitchen.

"What do you find so funny?" I ask him bitterly as the three of us watch him pour himself another drink into his already empty cup.

"You don't like alcohol? How many times have you thrown up at parties?"

"Less times than you!" I object, feeling a desperate urge deep in my gut to just punch him in the face. Who does he think he is? Making fun of me in front of people.

Leigh-Anne and Aaron watch our interaction in silence, and I can swear they look slightly amused by how angry I am.

Niall leaves the kitchen and I follow the two of them out once they decide to go in the living room and dance for a bit. I don't feel as if I'm intruding or like a third wheel, mainly because once the third song starts, Leigh-Anne goes off with some guy and leaves me there with Aaron.

"Um. Hi." I awkwardly say and he smiles, leaning over to talk into my ear so I can hear him over the music.

"Hey! Is there something going on between you and Niall?"

"What?" I yell into his ear, hoping not too turn him deaf. "No! We're just friends! Not even friends actually! Why?"

He shakes his head and leans back in. "It just seemed to me that he's jealous."

"Of what?"

"Me talking to you right now!"

I love his French accent. It's too sexy.

"So? Let him be jealous. I don't care."

"Alright then." He smirks and pulls back. I nod and purse my lips to signal that I want a kiss. He doesn't need to be told twice, because he's already pulling me into his chest and presses our lips together.

He's the second guy I'm making out with in the past three days, which is weird because I'm usually not this wild. But to hell with it, I deserve to have fun after all I've been through.

And besides, it's good to have my mouth occupied with something that isn't only calorie free, but also consumes 26 calories a minute.

Kissing is the type of workout I actually like doing.

When he pulls back, he smiles, and asks me if I want a drink since he's going to get one. I shake my head and let him go on his own so I can walk up to Sophia, who has now appeared in my line of vision, and talk to her.

However, as soon as I try to move, she disappears in the crowd again, so I finally give up. I'll talk to her tomorrow.

The party goes on for a few more hours without incidents; I dance with Aaron and another guy I don't really know the name of, and when we're about to go home Sophia apologizes for not being available to talk.

I smiles at her reassuringly as I get in the car.

-

The next day before lunch we visit the Louvre, and the Arc de Triomphe. The Notre Dame, Musee d'Orsay, and the Sainte-Chapelle are all scheduled after lunch.

Our group decides to have lunch on Champes-Elysees at a really cute bistro that serves overpriced food. Luckily, I have an excuse not to order too much. I order a bottle of water and a small portion of salad that I don't plan on eating anyway. If I keep my calorie intake under 300 for a week, I might get back on track with my weight.

I try to ignore the looks Niall is giving me as I play with my salad while people are talking, pretending to eat it.

"Stop staring." I tell Niall across the table. How come he always sits across from me?

He shrugs, taking out his phone and tapping on it. A few seconds later, my own phone buzzes with a notification on WhatsApp. I see the preview and frown.

Niall: EAT

I lock my phone and try to listen in whatever Sophia is saying, but fail. I can still feel Niall blatantly staring, so I decide to take a bite. A bit of salad won't kill me, I decide.

As I chew my bite as long as possible, trying to ignore Niall completely now. It's really hard to do so, but I manage not to glance in his direction at all during the rest of the lunch.

We visit the other tourist attraction in the span of four hours, and then we're finally free until the next day, which is also my birthday and our last day in France. Also, Valentine's Day. And the plan is to go out to a club and celebrate, since everyone (including me) would be legal.

"How do you guys feel about walking around Paris tonight after dark? We can hit up the shops and see the Eiffel tower." Leigh-Anne suggests when we're all in the parking lot of the school, waiting to be picked up.

Everyone agrees of course, so all we have to do now is get back home, take a shower, and then get back to the city.

I'm really excited about seeing the Eiffel Towel and doing some shopping, but I'm not sure whether that whole Victoria's Secret thing should still happen, since Niall and I are definitely not on good terms.

Coincidentally, Sophia asks me about it as soon as we arrive on Champs-Elysees.

"Let's go to Victoria's Secret and get you some really nice lingerie." She smiles as she grabs my arm.

"Um...I don't really talk to Niall anymore so I don't think it'll be necessary."

"Um I know that? But you don't have to buy sexy underwear to impress a man. You buy it for yourself. Come on, I want to buy the laciest bra I see."

"I love you." I laugh and follow her into the store.

The group has split up in small pairs since the boys aren't too keen to go underwear shopping and the girls don't want to wait around a video game store for three hours straight.

Sophia and I browse through the aisles and the clothing racks, until I finally find a nice black set that's not that expensive (for Victoria's Secret), and another set of neon pink.

"Wow, both of these are great. How much are they in total?"

"Eighty-five Euros."

Sophia scrunches her nose. "Go try them on and see if they're worth it."

I nod and start walking towards the dressing rooms.

Sophia enters when I call her in, even though it's a bit unnerving having her stare at my almost naked body. The black bra is a push up one, which makes it look like I actually have boobs, and the underwear is flattering for my hips since they're a sort of boxer-type panties.

"Shit, I think I might be gay." She says as she sizes me up and down. But her look isn't at all impressed or amazed. It's a worried look I've seen on Niall many times before.

"What?" I ask, crossing my arms unconsciously over my stomach.

"Nothing. You look...great."

I nod and then she leaves the cabin so I can put on the second set. It's almost the same as the first one, except for the fact that the panties are actually a thong, which makes the fat on my hips and ass stand out.

We both agree on the first set, and after I wait for her to change into four different bras, we finally head to check out. I end up buying the black set and she buys two different bras.

We then go through four different lingerie shops, two clothing stores, and a shoe store. I don't buy anything else because I don't like anything else. And also, everything on Champs-Elysees is expensive as fuck.

The group finally reunites at a pub right next to the Eiffel tower, where we drink cocktails and smoke until everyone is finally done so we can go up to the tower.

There's quite a long queue leading to the elevator, and no one is up for taking the stairs, so we get in line and wait.

I eye Sophia curiously as she talks to Niall about something I can't decipher, but the moment he shoots me a look, I know it's about me. Which, of course, makes me mad.

What is there to talk about that has connection to me?

Sophia finally leaves him a few moments later to go over to Liam and kiss him. I avert my eyes and watch Niall walk over to a grocery shop with Louis and Aaron.

The wait for the Eiffel tower is finally over and our exchange students pay for our tickets before we finally pile up in the elevator.

The view from the top is absolutely breathtaking, so of course everyone is taking pictures and posting them on Instagram.

I take a photo with Sophia, Jake, Harry, Louis, our girl squad, and then with Perrie, Jesy, and Leigh-Anne.

When my feet finally start to hurt, I join Louis and unfortunately, Niall, on a bench. They're munching some crisps so I divert my attention to the photos I've taken so far and picking which one to post on Instagram so I don't have the urge to ask them for food.

Louis eventually gets up and leaves; an act I'm not sure isn't on purpose.

"Want some?" Niall asks, surprising me, as he holds out the crisps bag to me.

"No thanks."

"So is this happening again?"

"What?"

"You not eating." He answers, making my heart stop.

"What are you even talking about?"

Honestly? It's the first time he decides to talk to me in the past few days, and he wants to have an argument? What the actual fuck?

"I'm talking about you not eating. You're getting really skinny."

"Okay, first of all." I start, locking my phone and turning my whole body towards him. "You have no idea how my body looks like under these clothes, nor will you ever. Second of all, what I eat and don't eat is none of your business."

"You know you're going to die if you don't stop, right?"

"No, I will not. Why do you even care? Why do you think you have any say in what I do?"

"Because you're my friend, Renee."

I frown. People never call me by my full name unless they're mad at me. Well, these 'people' are actually just my mother. But that's not the point.

"Oh, fuck off. You have been ignoring me these past few days and now you decide to play the caring friend part? Come off it please, I'm not buying any bit of it."

"What do you want me to say? I'm worried about you so I don't give a shit if you're mad at me or if we got into an argument. You're slowly killing yourself and I won't stop monitoring you until I know you're getting better. I'll fucking monitor you daily if that's what it takes."

I'm in awe at his words. And angry at myself. Because I allow the words to make me feel safe.

"You're so full of shit Niall, honestly."

He shakes his head. "You're full of shit."

I sigh and get up. "We're done here."

I walk back to the girls who are now filming everything to put on their Snapchat stories, and try to forget about Niall. It's hard to, because he's right there, he always is. Even when I don't see him, I think about him. It's frustrating as hell.

The rest of the night is spent on the top of the Eiffel tower, until it's closing time, and everyone decides that we should definitely go to the club tomorrow and have a birthday/goodbye party at a club.

-

I stare at myself in the mirror of Leigh-Anne's bathroom the next morning. I'm officially 18, which means that I'm also officially a responsible, mature adult (in everyone's eyes), that's supposed to make life-altering decisions.

How stupid is this whole age rule anyway? One day before your birthday, you're not allowed to drink, vote, go in clubs or sex shops, but in 24 hours; bam! You are allowed to do whatever you want. Like your brain magically just evolves into something bigger, brighter. What a pile of crap.

As soon as I come out of the bathroom dressed for today's events (more visiting, lunch, etc.), I'm met by a smiling Eleanor and Leigh-Anne who yell Happy Birthday at me and hug me.

I thank them although I hate the attention, and then go back to my room to get my phone. I fell asleep as soon as I got home last night, so I missed all the birthday messages and phone calls up until now.

I respond to all the messages and also send texts to the callers, since calling from another country is far more expensive than a text.

When I get out of the car in the school parking lot, people start coming to me one by one with birthday wishes, hugs, and kisses. Niall tells me happy birthday with a neutral expression, and doesn't even bother to hug me like everyone else.

I try to pretend like I don't even care as he passes by me to get in the bus. He, who was so excited about my birthday, is now indifferent. And it hurts. He deliberately wants to hurt me on my birthday, so I'll do the same, by ignoring him completely for the rest of his life.

-

As it turns out, it's easier said that done. Because a few hours later once the sky is already dark, I find myself piled in a taxi between Leigh-Anne and Eleanor, heading towards the nightclub.

I'm wearing a black and light pink dress, black pumps, a YSL knockoff clutch (because I would never spend more than 100 Euros on a fucking clutch), and sparrow earrings.

I've tried ignoring and avoiding Niall the entire day, but I couldn't help but throw glances at him and Jesy, who were getting really friendly.

To say that I'm nervous for tonight is an understatement. Not because of Niall, but because everyone will (probably) be focused on me and singing me happy birthday at some point after we leave the club, and I know I won't like the attention.

There is a long line for the entrance of the club, but Aaron tells his name to the bouncer and they let all of us in after checking our ID's.

I glance at Niall for a moment as we walk up the steps of the club, and take in how good he looks, even though I'd never admit it out loud.

He's wearing a white shirt, a leather jacket, black jeans, and his usual black Vans.

Damn him.

Reyall:

We find our reserved booths in the corner of the club and split up into three large groups before a waitress comes over to get our orders.

"To be honest, now that I'm legally able to drink I don't find it as entertaining." I tell Louis, who's currently lighting up a cigarette.

"Doing illegal things is much more fun." He agrees and hands me a cigarette.

We order our drinks and chat for a few minutes until the giant tray comes, before we finally get on the dance floor.

I dance with Aaron, another guy from the exchange whose name I don't remember, and then with some of the girls when a really cheesy song comes on.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" I ask Aaron when he comes back with my third drink. All the drinks I've had up until now were also cocktails, but I'm already starting to feel the familiar buzz in my belly that indicates I'm starting to get tipsy.

"No, I'm trying to get you to have fun on your birthday." He smiles and hands me the drink.

I shrug and accept it, before I walk off the dancefloor to drink it.

By the time I return, I've already downed a shot with Louis, and another one with Jake, so I'm already on my way to drunkenness.

When Bailando comes on, I start to move my hips to the beat but accidentally bump into someone and almost fall on my face if it hadn't been for Niall gripping into my arm.

"I think you need some fresh air." He tells me, but I try to get rid of his grip.

"I think you need to let go of my arm."

"Rey."

"Niall." I mock him.

"Let's go outside before you throw up or hurt yourself."

"No thanks."

He sighs but pulls me after him until we reach a door that leads to the back of the club where the giant trash bins are.

I lean against the wall and exhale into the chilly air, before I bury my face into my palms.

"I'm dizzy." I tell him, and also myself.

"I know. You need to-"

"Don't tell me what I need to do."

"Can you stop being a bitch and just listen?"

I start laughing. A really, really fake laugh that's meant spite him. "You call me a bitch and then expect me to listen? What kind of logic is that?"

Niall lets out a frustrated breath, and runs a hand through his hair. "Look, Rey. I'm sorry."

"For what?" I ask, skeptically.

"For making you mad at me."

"You don't even know what you did, do you?"

"I know that I overstepped some boundaries and have been a proper dickhead even though it wasn't my right to be. So, I'm sorry. I just don't like having you mad at me."

I cross my arms and lean against the wall next to him.

"I just don't understand why you act like a jealous boyfriend when you're not? You pretend to care about me and then just go off and flirt with someone else, but when I do it, God forbid! That's very hypocritical of you."

"I know. But I can't help it-"

"Why not though? Why are you allowed to flirt with whomever you want and I can't?"

"Because I know that when I do it, it doesn't mean anything to me. It's just for fun. Barely."

"Yeah but how am I supposed to know that for you it's just for fun? It's not fair."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? For getting caught or for me being angry?" I ask, finally turning my body to him. I have to close my eyes for a few seconds because I'm dizzy and drunk, but I eventually manage to look up at him.

He pushes off the wall and cups my face to make sure I'm looking him in the eyes. My vision is a bit blurry, but I watch him curiously nonetheless.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like that. I hate to see you sad."

I bite my lips and then purse them, before I pull him into me so I can kiss him. As soon as I realize what I'm doing though, I pull away and rest our foreheads together. Then I laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asks confused, running his warm hands down my back.

"You're just saying these things so you can fuck me on my birthday." I slur at him.

His expression changes and he suddenly steps back. "No I don't. Honestly Rey, can you just believe that I actually care about you for once?"

"Well you can't believe that I care about you, so why should I?"

"Because it's different." He sighs. "I know that my feelings are genuine but I will never be able to know if yours are."

"Can't you just trust me when I say so?"

"It's hard for me to do that."

I exhale. "I don't know what else to do Niall, okay? It's not fair for me to just love you when you don't feel the same and just put up with it. But I can't help it okay? I want you to be fucking happy and now I'm talking really fast because I'm so fucking drunk but I won't ever say this when I'm sober because I know you'll never...fucking." I stop to catch my breath and I feel like I'm about to throw up.

"Wait you love me?" he asks. "What?"

"What?"

"You said that you love me."

"So?" I smile, but barely.

"So you can't just say it because you're drunk."

"But I'm not saying it just because I'm drunk. I've been feeling it for a while now...but I can only find the courage to say it out loud when I know I'll forget about it in the morning. Because I know you don't feel the same, but hearing you confirm it will break me."

"Rey-"

"I'd do anything for you. I'd ruin myself just so I could fix you, you know." I tell him.

"R-"

"I think I should sleep."

Niall looks at me with an unreadable expression, and I just want a bed to lay down in.

"I'll take you home, come on."

He guides me back inside by my arm. He grabs our coats before he tells Aaron and Leigh-Anne that he's going to take me back to his house and let me sleep.

We take a taxi there and he has to carry me inside because I'm too far gone.

"Where are Aaron's parents?" I ask when he places me on his bed. He shares a room with Louis.

"They're in the house next door. The one were the party took place."

"Oh."

He takes off my heels and before he can pull off my dress, I jump out of the bed.

"I have to throw up now-" I managed to say before I fall on my knees in front of the toilet.

I feel him holding my hair back as I empty the contents of my stomach in the toilet, until there's nothing left to come up.

When I stand up, I feel a lot better and definitely sober, since most of the alcohol is out of my system. I wash my mouth and then my face, with Niall watching from behind me.

He's still completely dressed, and there's a concerned look on his face.

"Do you have a spare toothbrush or?"

"You can use mine."

I nod and brush my teeth quickly before I remove my makeup with water. It's a bit tricky, but it works, and I it's only after that I realize Niall is seeing me without any makeup on.

I walk out of the bathroom with him on my heels, and flop down on the bed, still dressed.

"Sorry about tonight." I say, scratching my head. "I didn't mean to be a burden. And about what I said-"

"Don't apologize." He says.

"So am I going to sleep here or?"

"Are you feeling better?" he asks, not responding to my question.

"Yeah. I'm good now."

"Alright. You can sleep here, yeah. We'll um-I know it sounds cheesy or whatever but we'll have to scoot closer so Louis can fit in the bed too."

I nod and watch him turn around to go the bathroom to clean himself up.

I pull my dress over my head and finally slide into the bed, my eyes still on him.

Niall takes off his jacket and smoothes down his white shirt, before he rubs his wrists and brushes his teeth. He looks so good, even from the side, and I can't think about anything else right now but how much I want to kiss him.

So I get out of bed, not even caring about the fact that I'm in my Victoria's Secret underwear. He doesn't look at me as I pad over to him, but he startles when I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his neck.

Niall turns around in my hold to look down at me.

"What are you doing?"

"Something I wanted to do for a long time."

"You're still-"

"I'm not drunk. I threw up everything."

"I don't think-"

"Don't think then." I say up at him. "Just kiss me."

"What are you planning on doing after I do?"

"I want to get my birthday present?" I try, but immediately regret it.

"You want me to have sex with you?"

I nod, not looking at him.

"But-are you sure? Don't you want to-"

"Wait? No. I've been waiting for a long time, and now I want it. Unless you don't want it. Then it's alright-"

He interrupts me by pressing our lips together and gripping into the back of my thighs to hoist me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and cup his face as he walks back into the bedroom.

He grins.

"Then let me give you a happy birthday."

---

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--

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Ronnie