A/N QUICK COUPLE OF THINGS!

I made a Harry Twitter since the people wanted it. It's @stylesarcadia if you want to give it a follow to get your fix of #helena in between updates. And as usual elena is @elenarosegraham

TRIGGER WARNING: Some portions of this chapter may be triggering to people who have dealt with mental illness and suicidal tendencies. I will put a warning before those portions come up, but just wanted to warn you up top.
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more soon xx

"So wait, you think this will help Mitch get a move on with the wedding?" I ask Sarah with a small laugh as I enter the elevator.

"How could it not? I'll technically be in a wedding dress?!" Sarah responds with a short giggle, having just finished telling me about her halloween plans. Dressing up as a zombie bride, to try and bring back wedding talks between her and Mitch.

"Suppose you're right, and you can always reuse the dress" I say with a giggle. I've never been a fan of Halloween or dressing up in costumes so I'm glad that Sarah isn't insisting Harry and I join them at this big Halloween event they were invited to for tomorrow night.

"Oh I would never get married in this dress, that's part of the whole look. I'm going for like a trashy shot gun wedding that got overrun by zombies sort of look" She describes as the elevator doors open on my apartment. I quickly walk in and place my heavy bag on the floor by the entryway and give the apartment a quick glance over, can't see Harry immediately but I know he's here because the record player is on. It's playing a pretty slow and beautiful piano piece, I really need to raid his record collection sometime.

"Sounds amazing. I gotta go I just got home, send me some pictures" I say goodbye to Sarah as I walk further into the house and find Harry sitting down on the couch, his head lifting up slowly as I enter the room. The look on his face makes me instantly stop in my tracks. Somethings wrong, he has a look of complete regret and utter devastation.

"Hey, you okay?" I ask as I shrug off my coat and place it over the back of one of the chairs, my eyes never leaving his. He bites his lip for a second before shaking his head and looking back down at the ground.

"Oh god what's happened. Is it your mum, Gemma, the kids?" I hurry over to him as the worst thoughts crash through my mind and out of my mouth.

"No everyone's fine, but I need to tell you something" He says quickly, standing up as I walk over to him. My hands are on his forearms as his immediately attach onto my waist. He pauses for a beat or two, sliding his hand up to tuck some hair behind my ear, as though he's savouring my presence. A million thoughts are barrelling through my mind, fears of lies and infidelity leading the charge. Is my wonderful life about to crash down around me.

"Babe you're really scaring me now" I tell him quietly, almost already on the verge of tears even though I don't know why. "Can you please just tell me what's happened?" I add. He gives me a small nod and swallows a small lump in his throat.

"When I was walking back into the hotel today, a man stopped me. It was your dad, your dad was here bub" He tells me, before a loud ringing in my ears drowns both him and the piano out. I can feel my heart face, my feet become unsteady. My dad, it's not him, my dad left, he abandoned us, abandoned me.

"Are you sure?" I choke out. Maybe this is all a mistake, maybe he thought he saw someone that looked like he could be my dad and we will be laughing about this within five minutes.

"He had a photo of you, a school photo, it was him bub" He says, his words quiet and full of sorrow. My whole body goes numb, I can't even feel him holding onto me, or my grasp on him tightening.

"Tell me everything" I say quickly as I release my grip on his arms, brushing my own hands through my hair and beginning to slowly pace around our living room.

"Well, he was looking for you, he said he wanted to see you. He recognised that photo of us that was in the papers the other day and came here hoping to find you. He found me instead" He tells me, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he shifts around on the spot. I had never given much thought about my dad being out there somewhere wanting to reconnect with me, I thought it would be more likely to find out one day that he died.

"What...he...what did he say?" I mumble quietly as the gravity of the situation starts to slowly register. My dads alive, he came back for me, he came to find me.

"He said a lot, the gist of it was that he didn't know that him leaving would have done what it did, he thought he was doing the right thing leaving you both. And that now he's been trying to better himself and wants to see you, maybe have a relationship with you" Harry tells me delicately, slowly, his words only slightly deafened by a sudden ringing in my ears. I place my hand over my chest and feel my heart hammering against my skin, it reminds me to breathe, because I don't feel like I have since this conversation started.

"Where has he been?" I ask, just one of the thousands of questions I have thundering through my head. Harry slowly sighs and scratches the back of his neck before he replies.

"He lives in Oxford, with his family" His words come out hesitantly. That makes no sense, my dads family are all around the Highcliffe area where I grew up. Suddenly it clicks.

"His family? He has other kids?" For some reason this is what triggers my eyes to water. Harry nods sadly, walking over to me as my pacing stops momentarily.

"Yeah bub, he has a partner and they have three kids. 6, 3 and 1". He replies gently, his thumb brushing against my cheek as one lonely tear escapes my eye. The timing clicks together in my head, he left my mother and I eight years ago. You do some rounding up, and the result is that my dad waited for at most a year before starting a brand new family not even a 2 hour drive from his old one.

"6? You mean to tell me that when I was dealing with my mother trying to jump out of a moving car on the highway he was becoming a father for the second time?" I think aloud. Harry nods his head, his eyes still full of sorrow.

"I know bubba, it's disgusting. I'm so sorry" He replies empathetically.

"Did he ask about my mum?" I switch topics. Unless he asked around he can't have really known what happened with my mum after he left, or maybe he saw a lot more than I did, knew what was coming and left me to deal with it.

"He did. He had no idea that she wasn't well, and he said that he never would have left you with her had he known what was going to happen" He recounts their conversation.

"So you told him about my mum?" I ask him, suddenly I can see his complexion become slightly paler.

"I did, I'm sorry if you didn't want me to bub" He replies quickly as I shake my head. I see his hand lift up to gently cup my cheek, but I don't feel it, not really, everything feels so numb and cold.

"No it's fine, I'm glad you didn't lie and say that everything was fine" I tell him sincerely. Honestly I'd rather Harry tell him everything than me, knowing me I'd try to lie and say that everything was fine. But Harry knows that everything wasn't fine, and he made sure that the man responsible knew what he had done. 

"I told him quite a bit really" He says nervously. "I told him about your schooling and about how you're close with my family. But I swear I didn't give him any details on how to find you or anything" He quickly adds. I nod my head slowly.

"That's fine it's fine. What else did he say?" I reassure him. My head is still swimming at this point, well it more feels like drowning right now. I'm just trying to hold back the panic attack if I'm being honest.

"He said he was a lousy father" Harry tells me.

"Didn't stop him for having three more kids though so how terrible did he really think he was?" I remark snarkily.

"I said the same thing don't worry. This wasn't a pleasant chat we were having, I made sure he felt the weight of what he did" Harry says soothingly, his thumb skimming across my cheek. I lean into his touch, willing my body to feel comforted by his presence.

"Thank you" I tell him earnestly, threading my fingers together. "So what did you tell him about me exactly?" I ask. He seems nervous to answer at first.

"I told him about your degree, how incredible you are, how much my family loves you.." He trails off, leaning forward slightly to press a soft kiss against my forehead. I can feel my hammering heart start to slow down by a small fraction. I do have a lot of wonderful things in my life.

"What did he think?" I ask him hopefully, even after all this time and everything he's done I want his approval, how pathetic. Harry's lips quirk up slightly.

"He was so proud. The business degree surprised him. He thought you would be either a writer or a doctor, even said he used to search bookstores for your name" His words are my undoing, the tears rapidly fall and I'm unable to stop them. Harry immediately encircles me, cradling me tightly against his chest as my body racks with sobs. He still thought about me after all these years, thought about my future, had high hopes for me. It's almost debilitatingly bittersweet.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry" Harry whispers gently as I cry. I don't know how long I'm crying for, or why the image of my father wanting to believe in my future sends me over the edge. Maybe it's because I figured that this man had completely left my life and wanted nothing more to do with me, and now that I know he thinks about me, it paints this whole thing in a brand new light.

"Do you believe him?" I ask as I finally pull away to peer up at him, using both of my hands to wipe my cheeks. He's a cynic, often the voice of reason when I become too much of a dreamer, a true glass half full kind of man.

"Fuck, Elena I don't know" He sighs and runs his fingers through the ends of my hair. "He says he's only here to reach out, to see if you maybe wanted to meet with him and try to build some kind of a relationship. But I don't know. You know how protective I am over you" He adds quickly onto the end of his statement. I know what he's not saying, he could be doing this to get money, and I wish I knew my father well enough to rule that possibility out.

"I don't know what to do" I say helplessly. How do I move forward with this hanging over me. Could I go the rest of my life with the knowledge that my father was out there wanting a relationship with me and not do anything about it? Do I tell my mum? Do I meet with him or tell him to go to hell?

"That's okay, there's no pressure for you to do anything" Harry says gently. "I know he wants to meet with you, but that doesn't mean anything to you, you don't have to do anything that he wants you to do." He reassures me, placing a soft kiss on my forehead once more.

"What would you do, if you were me?" I ask him, hopeful for some kind of guidance about where to go with all of this. I had never even run the possibility in my head before, him wanting to find me. In my head I had tried to track him down and when I did, he slammed the door in my face. Harry shakes his head.

"Bub I don't know. Personally I'd probably tell him to fuck off, but you and I very different people when it comes to this sort of thing" Harry replies sombrely, shrugging his shoulders.

"But I do think that if you don't meet with him and speak your mind, you might regret it. Even if you just want to scream at him for a couple of hours, it may help. And then if you want, he's out of your life for good and you've said all you wanted to say" He tells me, keeping his arms around me, anchoring me to him in a way that has been slowly settling me down this entire time. There are things I want to say to him, and things I want to know the answers to, maybe I can finally get them and have some closure. And maybe if it goes well, I could have a dad again.

"I think you're right. I think I need to meet with him" I tell him quietly with a small nod of my head.

"Let's make it tomorrow, that way you wouldn't spend a long amount of time worrying about it" Harry suggests. He knows me so well, knowing that it will be easier for me to just rip off the bandaid rather than let the thought of it all take over my life. I nod my head before a sudden thought pops into my head.

"Will you come with me? I don't know if I can do this alone" I say worriedly. Not having Harry by my side for something major like this makes me feel bereft and anxious, just the thought of it.

"Of course bub, if you want me there then I'm there" He says reassuringly, running one of his hands through my hair, his forehead slightly creased with concern. "You're not alone in this darling, I promise" He adds. I lean up on my tiptoes and wrap my arms tightly around his neck, clutching myself to him. His arms immediately wrap around my waist, his lips hushing me softly in my ear.

"I don't want him in our home, he's still a stranger" I mumble into his shoulder. This is our home, our safe place, I don't want him here while I don't know his intentions.

"That's okay love, I'll book one of the conference rooms downstairs. That way if you want to at any point you can storm out in dramatic fashion" Harry replies. I giggle at the thought, burying my face into the crook of his neck.

"Thank you, I love you" I tell him urgently. He didn't sign up for this at all, he didn't know when he met me that I'd come with a freighter ship load of baggage. And yet he's still here, fighting for me, loving me, supporting me. I hit the jackpot.

"Bubba I love you too, I'm so sorry this is happening" He tells me sincerely, his arm stroking my back softly as he presses a small kiss to my temple. I pull away and set my feet back flat on the ground, leaning my forehead against his chest. He used both of his hands to lift my head up and to face him.

"Why don't you get in the bath or something, I'll make us some dinner" He suggests with a small smile, knowing exactly what will soothe me when I need it most.

"Good idea" I say with a soft sigh as I tilt my head up to kiss his lips before leaving his embrace and walking up the stairs and into our ensuite.

I fill up the tub and add oils before stripping off my clothes and climbing in. I close my eyes and push all thoughts of absentee fathers from my mind, just encouraging myself to smell the aromas of the oils and feel my body relax in the warmth of the water. At some point, I hear the door open and open my eyes to watch Harry calmly walk in to the room with a glass of red wine in one hand, a kitchen timer in the other and my e-reader tucked under his arm.

"Lasagnas in the oven, thought you could use this" He holds out the glass of wine to me and a towel. I take it from him and wipe my hands on the towel before he offers me the e-reader.

"Read to me, just for a little while" I ask with a coy smile, taking a sip from my wine. Harry let's out a small sigh accompanied by a smile and sits down on the floor of the bathroom, his back against the tub.

"What are we reading?" He asks once he gets settled into his spot and unlocks my e-reader. I lean over slightly and place a small kiss on his cheek.

"Pride and Prejudice, from the beginning please kind sir" I request with a small grin. He smiles to himself and scrolls down the titles before clicking on one and clearing his throat.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife..." He begins, his slow melodic voice calming my busy mind as I sip my wine and enjoy the book I've read a thousand times before, appreciating it a little more this time around.

————————————————————————

What does one wear when they see their father for the first time in 8 years? I ask myself as I stare up at the enormity of the clothes on my side of the wardrobe. There's no correct answer really, I already googled just to see if there wasn't a reddit thread of abandoned children dreamily preparing for when this day comes. But I feel nauseous, completely nauseous and sleep deprived. Harry tried to help me fall asleep; he sung to me, read me more of my book and made me sleepy tea. I love him so much, he never complained once even when I kept him up half the night with all my tossing and turning.

"Figured it out yet?" Harry asks as he re-enters the closet, already dressed and ready to go. He's been very patient with me, even though we need to be downstairs in ten minutes and I'm still standing here in a dressing gown waiting for the right sweater to jump out at me.

"Nope" I tell him. "You pick one". He reaches into the hangers with great ease and pulls out a lilac one, handing it to me.

"It makes your eyes look nice" He says with a shrug. "Plus the conference rooms can get cold" He adds. I lean up and kiss his lips quickly before grabbing out a pair of black jeans from the drawer. The telephone beside our bed rings and Harry leaves the wardrobe to go and answer it. I'm just doing up the belt around my waist when he reappears in the wardrobe.

"Reception just called. He's in the conference room" He tells me, watching me closely. I swallow a brand new lump that has formed in my throat and nod my head, fixing my hair in the mirror and taking a deep breath.

"Let's do it" I say, placing my hand in his and collecting my coat and bag on the way out, walking downstairs and to the elevators. We descend down to the fifth floor in silence, I try to concentrate on his thumb stroking the back of my hand.

"Feeling okay?" Harry asks as the doors open up onto a wide hallway, doors on each side displaying conference room 'A' 'B' 'C' and 'D'. Harry said we had booked room 'A', the door which we are now standing in front of.

"I think so" I answer, my heart rate immediately picking up. I squeeze his hand tightly and take a few deep breaths, wriggling my toes within my shoes.

"Ready?" He asks quietly. I need him to open the door, I can't do it myself for some reason. I nod my head and Harry leans forward, taking the door knob in his hand, turning it and walking through the doorway with me.

There, seated at the far end of the table, quickly rising out of his seat, that my dad. His face is exactly the same as it was the last time I saw him, wishing me a good nights sleep and telling me he'll drop me off to school the next morning only to disappear in the middle of the night. He's a lot paler than when I last saw him, and he's lost quite a bit of weight, but that's him alright. He smiles at me, a smile so big it makes my heart ache that I can't find it within myself to smile back at him. He goes to move around the desk and walk over to me before Harry holds up his free hand to him.

"Best to give her a minute Frank" Harry says firmly, keeping him at a distance. Frank nods his head and walks back to his seat, keeping his eyes fixed on me.

"Hiya love" He speaks for the first time, and his voice almost makes me step back in my place. I'd almost forgotten what his voice sounded like, how fucking sad is that? That you'd forget what someone's voice sounds like because it's been that long since you've heard it. Tears spring to my eyes, but I blink them away, I'm not ready for them yet.

"Hi" I reply quietly. He seems to have the same reaction to my voice, a fear rolling down his cheek after he hears it. Harry gives my hand a gentle reassuring squeeze. I move to sit down at a seat across from him in the middle of the conference table, facing him but also allowing myself enough distance from him. Harry sits down beside me as I put my bag on the floor, my hand in his the whole time.

"You look amazing, what a wonderful young woman you've grown up to be" He says in wonder after a few moments of silence.

"You've lost weight" Is all I can think to say in response, I maybe shouldn't mention the fact that he once had hair and now he has none. Though I'll keep it in my back pocket just incase I need to hurl an insult at him later.

"That's how life goes" He says with a slight chuckle, looking down at his appearance. He's in a thin grey sweater with a puffy black vest on top and dark blue jeans, it's all fairly clean too.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me" He adds after I don't respond. I nod my head. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions" He adds.

"A few" I say with a sad smile and a minuscule shrug of my shoulders. "Why did you leave?" I start from the beginning, might as well. He takes in a deep breath and drops his shoulders.

"Because I was a selfish asshole. I wasn't in love with your mother anymore, and I convinced myself that you two would be better off without me" He tells me, the cadence of his voice filled with remorse and self loathing.

"How could you have thought that we would be better off without you? I could have processed you and mum getting divorced, but you just left us behind" I reply, feeling myself become equal parts anger and sadness. He nods his head and listens intently as I speak.

"I had convinced myself that I was a terrible father. You were so mature and grown up and clever, I could barely even keep up with you. I realised I had made a complete and utter mistake eventually but I felt like I couldn't have just come back" He says in defence of himself.

"You were never a terrible father, I only had happy memories of you growing up. I was a happy kid! We may not have had a lot but we had each other and that's what mattered to me. But when you left, you took all of that away" I raise my voice ever so slightly, the tears now sitting in my eye-line. Harry gives my hand a small squeeze as my dad nods his head.

"I know, it was awful of me to have done that, and I'll never forgive myself for it. I regret doing it that way, and I wish I could go back in time and do a thousand things differently. But all I can do now is tell you that I am so so sorry. For all of it" He tells me, his tears slowly trickling down his pale cheeks. His answer doesn't satisfy me, and I haven't even gotten close to speaking my mind yet.

"It wasn't like when guys just decide before their baby is born or after a couple of months that they're not cut out to be a dad. I was 12, I was a person. You were there when I was born, you were with me everyday for 12 years. We had memories, and stories, and inside jokes and favourite things that we shared together. I was a person to you, and in my mind you just decided that you were done with me. You got to know me, and you decided that I wasn't worth knowing anymore" I confess, the thoughts I've been holding inside for years spilling out onto the conference room table. Frank shuts his eyes, his tears now streaming down his face in rapid succession as he turns his head down to face his lap. In the corner of my eye, I can see Harry's hand lift up to wipe the corner of his eyes.

"I needed you. I needed a dad. And you decided that you didn't and you left. You just left me behind" I continue. This opportunity to pour myself out to this man giving way to a side of myself I had locked away for so long. These feelings that I've needed to explore, to grieve, all unable to stop themselves from escaping the small box I've kept them in. He finally lifts his head back up, not to speak, but to show me that he's listening.

"You have no idea what it's like believing that one day everyone you love is just going to leave you. Without warning, without explanation, without a goodbye, without anything. That someone is going to make you think that they love you and that they care for you and one day they're just going to get so sick of you that they'll just leave" I cry softly as I speak. My greatest fears have stemmed from this man leaving in the middle of the night 8 years ago. For the first few months of our relationship I would wake up and think 'is today the day that Harry decides I'm not worth all of this shit?'. If only I could tell her now that he would still be here holding my hand, supporting me through the most brutal experience of exposure I've ever had.

"I've carried this, all of these feelings and doubts and this grief for eight years when I should have been having the greatest time of my life. Finishing high school, learning to drive, deciding where I want my life to go, figuring out who I want to be. But I didn't get to do that, because my mother lost her god dann mind and you had fucked off and created a whole new god damn family of your own" I spit out the words, hoping that they hurt him the way he's hurt me for all these years.

—— TW ——

"Do you know what it's like to call for an ambulance when you've come home to find your mum with open wrists on the kitchen floor? Or to have her try and leap from the car on the motorway while she's screaming about how you're the devil and you're taking her to hell?" I ask him rhetorically, calling upon my own experiences. He looks on at me in horror and sadness.

"I went through absolute hell trying to keep my mum alive, to keep her well after you broke her and left me behind to pick up the pieces. When I was 12, I was fucking 12, I wasn't even a teenager. You and mum wouldn't even let me stay up past ten on a school night and yet you felt completely fine about abandoning me" I say harshly. I'm fighting hard with myself to stay calm, to remain rational and to get my views across instead of launching into an attack of name calling and perhaps physical violence.

"And all I got every so often was a card on my birthday and Christmas. With no explanation or apologies made, just to tell me that you sent your love and you hoped I had a good one. And then they stopped, after I was 16 you just stopped sending them" I say bitterly as I fold my arms across my chest.

"I sent you a card for your sixteenth birthday but it got returned to me, it said it was sent to the wrong address" He finally speaks up, his voice shaky and quiet. Oh right of course, my homelessness!

"That was because that was the year that mum went into the facility and I had to move out of our house. I begged aunt Lydia to take guardianship over me so that I wouldn't end up in the system and she did, but she said I couldn't stay with her. So I couch surfed and slept in the school for the next two years until I finished high school" I inform him, watching as he sags into his chair and continues his quiet sobbing. Harry hasn't squeezed my hand in a while, so I squeeze his and immediately he squeezes back. I turn my head to glance at him, to find him staring back at me, red blood shot eyes and a look of sadness I've never seen before.

"Elena, sweetheart, I will never be able to express to you how sorry I am for all of this. If I had known that things had been that bad I would have done something. I don't know what, but I wouldn't have left you to suffer if I had known things were that bad. Jesus Christ" He tells me, his words dripping with sadness and regret. I could never have told him what was happening, the cards he sent me had no return address on them. He never wanted me to find him, he never wanted to know what he had left behind, because he had left it behind. I take a deep breath. I feel like I got it all out, a weight that I didn't know that I was carrying has been shrugged off my shoulders.

"I know it may not seem like it right now, but I am the happiest I have ever been. I graduate in a month or so. I've made a lot of new friends. Mum is moving out of the facility in a few weeks, and we have a great relationship now. Harry's family has welcomed me in as their own. I'm a godmother. And I love this man more than I ever thought I could love someone. And he loves me, when I thought I could never be loved. I'm strong, and I'm a good person, and I am loved, and I did it all on my own, without you" I turn to Harry and smile, suddenly feeling as light as I've ever felt. Harry gazes back at me, his eyes still blood shot but shining with pride as his thumb brushes the back of my hand.

"I've been to hell and back, and I may never get over what I've gone through, but I wouldn't trade my life for anything. Because I love my life. I'm safe, I'm healthy, I'm happy, I'm supported, and I'm loved. I have so much love in my life." I finish my spiel, I've said my piece, I feel empty now but in the best kind of way. Frank's head lifts up and he smiles sadly at me, tissue in his hand a crumple and soggy mess.

"I am so incredibly proud of you. In spite of all the harm and pain I've put your through, look at you now. You're incredible" He says in wonderment. I can't help the pride that washes over me. I shouldn't care what he thinks but I do, I know deep down that I really do still care for him. He's my dad, he has fucked up a lot and it won't ever be like it was, but he's my dad.

"Thank you" I say with a soft smile, finally feeling my heart rate slow down. Frank shuffles uncomfortably in his seat for a second before he leans forward slightly, as though he's bracing himself.

"I do have a confession to make. Me wanting to reconnect with you isn't just the sole reason why I wanted to meet with you" He states slowly. Oh god, the relief I felt is slipping away just as I was beginning to enjoy it.

"What do you mean?" I ask. He takes a deep breath once more, clearing his throat and holding his hands together braced up on the desk.

"I'm sick Elena, I'm dying. And I need a kidney" The static noise is back, the ground disappears beneath me

"You son of a bitch" Harry suddenly speaks up for the first time since we sat down, his voice is quiet but completely filled with rage. "How fucking dare you do this to her"

"I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't completely desperate! Lauren isn't a match and my kids are far too young to donate. I've been on the waiting list for almost a year, and I'm running out of time" He pleads in his defence. I can barely process it all, is he really asking me for a kidney? Was all of this so that he could ask me for a fucking kidney?

"Not fast enough" I hear Harry mutter under his breath.

"What's wrong with you?" I mutter quietly, both medically and emotionally, I need to know.

"End stage liver disease. My kidneys started failing last year, I've been on dialysis, but my only hope for complete recovery is a new kidney. The list is three years long, my team have told me I won't make it" He replies sombrely. He's dying, my father is dying, I can't believe it.

"Please, we can do a test to see if we are a match at a hospital. You might be my last hope Elena" Frank says as he leans forward, he stands up and goes to move around the large conference room table when Harry stands up beside me.

"If you take one more fucking step towards her I swear to god I will split you in half" Harry warns him, it stops Frank from moving even an inch more.

"Please Elena. I was an awful father to you, and I don't deserve to have a child as wonderful as you in my life with what I've done. But I'm begging you to help me. I need to live, I need to be here for my family, I'm scared to die. Baby I'm not ready to die" He pleads with me, tears pouring out of his eyes once more while his face remains pale and colourless.

"I'll do the test" I say with a small sigh, Harry immediately returning to his seat beside me and placing a hand on my arm. "But that doesn't mean that if I'm a match that I'll be going through with anything" I tell him before my mind can even process what is happening. His eyes light up with a relief I've never seen before.

"Oh sweetheart, thank you, thank you. I'll call my team, there's a clinic in London where they can do the preliminary testing" He tells me with utter glee. I just nod, it's all I can do as he takes out his phone and starts to talk quickly to somebody on the other end.

"Are you seriously doing this right now?" Harry whispers to me with urgency. I keep my eyes focused on the table in front of me, my brain now only just telling my body what we've just agreed to. In the last 24 hours, my father has come back into my life and I am now being booked in to take a test to eventually give him my kidney. If there's ever been a scenario needed to describe emotional whiplash, it should be this.

"It's just a test" I say in a monotone voice, I can barely process it myself without having to explain my reasoning to Harry. His free hand sits up on my shoulder and rubs it softly.

"You owe this man nothing, not a god damn thing" He reminds me quietly before Frank leans back over the table and brings the phone away from his ear.

"They can see you in an hour" He suggests. I shrug my shoulder and give him a half nod before he returns to the phone call, guess we're doing this.

"What the fuck is going on?" Harry whispers more to himself than to me as I tilt my head back against my swivel chair and take a deep breath. There is so much I still need to process from today, and I think I'm about to add another ten thousand things to that list if I go through with this.

"You're all booked in" Frank states with jubilation as he sits back down in his chair, a new batch of tears forming in his eyes. "Sweetheart you have no idea what this means to me, how incredible this is of you to even be considering this"

"I may not be a match" I tell him, hoping to manage his expectations, unsure of what I even want out of it. Do I want it to match so that I can save his life? Or do I not want it to match so that I don't have to have surgery and give him a kidney. And if I don't match, did he do all of this for nothing, will he just leave again?

"I know, and if you are it is completely your decision. If you don't ever want to see me again and don't want to do this then I completely understand and I will respect your decision. Whatever you want to do" He replies reassuringly. I try to ignore Harry's scoff beside me.

"We'll be going alone, can I have the address?" Harry speaks up bitterly. Frank nods quickly and types a message on his phone, he has Harry's number because he called him to schedule this meeting today. A few seconds later Harry's phone buzzes and he checks it.

"I suppose you two will want to head off to that now. But would I maybe, be able to give you a hug before I go?" Frank asks timidly, his smile filled with hope. Am I dying to rush over to my dad and hug him tightly before I go and potentially sign up to hand over a kidney? Not particularly, but I do feel like I made a good step in a good direction today, and maybe it would feel okay.

"Sure, just a small one though" I tell him as I let go of Harry's hand reluctantly and stand up. Frank rushes over to me and gingerly wraps his arms around my waist, hugging me close to him. I can't help it, he's my dad, the smell and the feel of his comforting embrace overwhelms me as I hug him back. It's a relief I haven't felt in years, a hug I spent my teenage years dreaming of having just one more time.

"I love you so much sweetheart, and I'm going to make this right, I won't let you down again" He whispers to me just before I pull back out of our embrace. I tuck my hair behind my ear and take a step back away from him.

"One thing at a time" I say quietly. I'm not ready to sign myself back up for father daughter duty quite yet. He nods and coughs awkwardly before shaving his hands into his pockets.

"Then I guess I should uh, I should get going. I've got to get on the train" He mumbles. Right, on the train, to Oxford, to his real family.

"Thank you so much for setting this all up Harry" My dad politely holds his hand out to Harry, who is now standing protectively by my side. I know he's dying deep down to do anything but shake my dads hand, but he does out of sheer politeness.

"I'll uh, I'll speak to you soon alright love?" Frank asks after their hand shake ends without a word. I nod my head and watch as he walks over to the door of the boardroom and walks out without another glance.

"You can't be seriously going through with this, why the fuck are you doing this?" Harry asks the second the doors shut as I pull my coat on.

"I have to at least try and help him" I answer him simply. I know I can't not help him, that's just not who I am.

"Because he totally deserves it after all he's done for you" Harry replies bitterly and sarcastically.

"He's my father Harry, I can't just do nothing" I tell him.

"Yes you can Elena. You can do nothing, and I think you should" He tells me quickly. I had a feeling he wouldn't be onboard with this, but I didn't think he would be quite this opposed.

"Why? I thought you wanted me to meet with him, tell him my feelings?" I say to him as I head towards the door, exiting and heading for the bank of elevators with Harry following close behind.

"Yes and you did and I'm beyond proud of you for that, but that doesn't mean that you now owe him anything more, especially not your kidney for fucks sake!" He exclaims as we stand and wait for a moment for the elevator. When it arrives, I push the button for the parking lot and wait for the doors to close with us both enclosed inside.

"All I'm doing right now is a blood test, this could all be for nothing and then he'll have to sit on this waiting list for god knows how much longer" I respond quickly. That's all it is for now, a few blood tests, that's all I'm doing right now.

"Yeah and if you aren't a match I wonder if he'll stick around" Harry states under his breath.

"You think the only reason he reached out is because of this?" I ask him nervously, peering up at him. He must see in my eyes that he's hit a sensitive nerve and places a hand on the small of my back.

"I mean, yeah! He didn't even do the decent thing and let you figure out how you feel about what he said today. You were emotionally vulnerable and you opened your heart to him and he said 'by the way I'm dying and you are my only hope'. Of course this is why he's here" He replies honestly, his words sound almost as exhausted as I feel.

"So you think all of it was a lie. Everything that was said by him today, you think all of it was just to get me to donate to him?" I ask as the elevator doors open up, waiting for his answer as we walk together to Harry's section of cars.

"I think he knows you well enough to know that you love him, and that if he asked you to save his life then you would. I just think that the timing of it all is suspicious" Harry explains.

"So you're not supporting me on this?" I stop suddenly and turn to him accusingly, a sudden pit of anger bubbling again. Today has been rough enough, I need him in my corner and he's being a stubborn baby about it.

"Elena I support you through anything you know that" He says with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"Then are you coming with me or not?" I ask, gesturing to the cars just in front of us. He knows I can't not go through with at least the test, no matter what my fathers motives of this whole thing were. Harry blinks a few times before letting out a larger sigh, and taking a set of keys out of his back pocket.

"I'll drive" He says.